Tinkla Pipick - a seventy year old Inuit Chief - who helped guide Tim Palin on his last three Ironman competitions, said today - from his Igloo on the Alaskan glacier:
"On several nights when we were camped out on the freezing tundra - i saw Tim sneak out of his sleeping bag in the snow machine and slip into the Caribou herd"
"When i approached the herd to see if he was alright - i saw him mounting a huge female Caribou!"
He continued; "On one occasion Tim caught me watching him hump a Caribou and he warned me that :"My cunty wife might be running for national office - and if this gets out i won't be the only one without a scrotum!"
Chief Pipick said; "I'm only spilling the beans now because i could not live with myself - if that ignorant Witch and her Caribou fucking husband landed in the White House."
"And - i feel real bad about the Caribou!"
