" Children with parents living together with them - are now considered odd by their classmates -and are being tormented in school."
So says Dr. Moishe Pipick - President of research at the National Education Association - he announced the results from a new study on "Divorce In America and it's Impact on Children."
The Doctor stated, "Ninety percent of married men and women stay together out of guilt and misguided responsibility - or for financial reasons - and the study proves conclusively - that they are all fucked up and miserable - and that they make their kids crazier than divorced couples."
He went on; "And now these kids are hearing things like this - from the overwhelming majority of kids in school - who come from broken homes:"
"Hey - Johnny - Whatsamata - your father too poor or chicken to leave your mom?"
"Hey Mary -whatsamata - is your mom too fat to find another guy?"
Dr. Pipick continued; "I mean that is the more benign form of heckling - and these kids are taking a real beating because their parents are too selfish or chickenshit - or too fucked up to break-up. ( some kids are even spray painting 'Too Fucked-Up To Break Up!" on these poor kids lockers.
"Anyway the facts are in - and the message is clear - Get divorced or just split before you ruin your children."
Dr. Pipick concluded --"Even if your happy! - don't be selfish! --Do it for the kids!."
I hope Michelle Obama is listening.