Why Did God Give John Edwards A Penis?

Or any man for that matter? - And here's the obvious answer:

God has a Weenie!

Yep - knowing full well that any descent normal attractive (or rich) male could and would - hump almost any hot female that walks - until, finally, his last drop of testosterone dribbled out ;

He still proceeded to create men with dicks!

I mean - he could have created - say - a double eye wink as the catalyst for procreation - or a whistle - or a face lick or maybe just a thought - And wham! - She's pregnant! - And on goes the human race. -- But noooo:

He didn't HAVE to create this whole sex/lust/power/ ego/ dominance/cheating - lovey dovey feel good orgasmic stuff to move humanity down the road?

The only reason God did that - and created all this confusion about sin and sex is because -- God was born with a penis!

So - don't blame John Edwards for responding to the uncontrollable urges that were programmed into him by a horny and lascivious omnipotent and mighty creator of the universe - the master and originator of all things horny -THE big guy with the big one eye - Penis in the Sky

Blame GOD - For Sticking A Dick On POOR John Edwards

Iraq Has Come A long Way Baby

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

One Half Hour Ago

White House spokesman Tony Snow announced this morning that the President will not be going to serve in a front line combat unit in Iraq.

To charges from the Democrats that he "turned yellow"--- Mr. Snow responded " Our top Military leaders finally convinced him that if captured and tortured ,the President would give away high level strategic information -- jeapordizing National security.

The President had maintained that being tortured by liberal Democrats for the past six years had prepared him for anything the terrorists could administer.

Ted Kennedy ,speaking for the Democrats said " He doesn't even remember what he had for breakfast let alone any high level intelligence -- he 's just chicken ".