Paterno Statue to be Replaced With Giant Beaver

 Save A Tree Eat A Beaver

After a plane flew over the Penn State campus several days last week trailing a banner that said, “Take the statue down or we will,” some students set up camp to guard the monument from vandals. Others moved on, changing the name of their game-day tent city outside Beaver Stadium from Paternoville to Cornholeville.

And it was announced today that the original sculptor of The Paterno statue - Angelo Di Mario -will begin work immediately on a Giant Beaver Statue with the inscription:"

"Save A Tree Eat A Beaver" 

 I miss Jerry and Joe

Di Mario stated: "The emphasis now will be placed on normal  pussy related sex -not on cornholing children!"

Asked about the pressure for him to create a statue of Paterno cornholing a young boy Di Mario replied:

"It would be very hard to capture that in an ascetic way"

Pope Benedick Approves Condoms for Anal Sex ONLY

 

 itsa hokay to cornhole  with condo

While the christian Rednecks are trying their darndest to keep condoms out of the hands of women and off the dicks of men  for contraception purposes  -The POPE! - That shining beacon of Medieval logic has made a dramatic announcement:

We do notta wanta to hava  a spreada of Aidsa  throughouta the Worlda -and amonga 40% of our Priests who are gay and might give the aidsa to some nice Altar Boysa - SO:

I herebye stata thata from now on -ina the power vested in me bya Goda I proclama:

"Men canna use the Condomas whena they hava ANAL sexa ONLY!"
Amena  and remember no cheating and using the condomas fora you wifas or girlfriends or you go straight to Hella with the Jews.