God announced at a press conference today:
"I am so thrilled to be going back to my real job - bringing hope and comfort to superstitious morons - and far away from politics."
He went on; "When Billy Graham asked me to help out his alcoholic buddy George W Bush i never thought the American people would buy into his bullshit and install him and a whole bunch of religious freakos and rednecks into an American Vatican government -headed by Pope Bush."
"I mean every fucking job applicant had to have a Bible in his hand - and now you can all see how ideology trumped competence - across the entire political spectrum."
"It was fucking pathetic - i mean i'm pretty powerful but even i couldn't deal with assholes like Cheney and Rumsfeld and that midget Attorney General Gonzales - and all those anti science creationist wack jobs - and -Oh jeesus Christ am i glad to be outa there!"
God continued: "This guy Obama is one sharp cookie - and America will quickly re-emerge as the world's spiritual and economic and political leader in no time at all."
"God went on:"I figure with me out of the White House the average IQ of America's leaders will increase by fifty two percent - and that's enough to get the job done right!."
" You see -- In your world It's all about creative problem solving. - But my job is to lead the faithfully blind - i'm kinda like a big Golden Retriever in the sky."
"But you don't want me crapping all over the White House - see what a mess it made!"
