Pine Mountain Store Breaks Per Capita Alcohol Sales Record
The small store where the residents buy their alcohol is located
in a very “lush”Mountain Valley 80 miles north of Los Angeles.
And the residents of PMC
(as it is known locally) have now established their beautiful little
village as – The “lushest” on the planet!
The Pine Mountain general
Store -Which is really a liquor store (with some grocery and general
merchandise trappings) -Has now sold more alcoholic beverages per
capita than any similar retailer on the face of the Earth in 2017!
The World Lush Association
( “Lush” derived from “Lushkiavot” traced back to the ancient
Evank tribes of Siberia and meaning “he who falls out of his sled”)
- And which has maintained these drinking records since 1543
-Announced the results yesterday in Latka Siberia, a village about
the size of PMC located 1,600 miles from Moscow in the former Gulag
of The USSR.
Gregor Smirnoff -great
great great grandson of the Smirnoff Distillery Company and current
President of The WLA -Announced to a world wide group of liquor
distributors in Latka's town Hall yesterday:
“ I know ths comes as
quite a shock to all the residents of Latka AND Igor and Bushka lbzdfklamnsky, the owners of lbzdfklamnsky Grocery (the local liquor store) - Which has held “The
Lushest Village in The World” title since dethroning the tiny
village of Tullamore, in Ireland, in 1804.
He continued: “We don't
know what is going on in this Pine Mountain Village in America –
BUT- The World Lush Association (WLA) - Tips its glass to the residents of what is now -officially
– THE “Lushest” Village in the World”
Adnan Mohammed -The
absentee landlord of The Pine Mountain general Store when contacted
by satellite phone in Syria and informed of this great honor AND That
a ten thousand pound bronze statue of of a peasant laying down drunk
in the gutter in Shnozy ,Poland -Where the contest originated in 1132
-Was on it's way to Pine Mountain (via container ship) to his Now
World Famous store!
Adnan replied: “I am a
Muslim and do not condone drinking alcohol - BUT -Allah bless all
the drunkards in Pine Mountain Club.California."
reported by dave nelson
10-5-17
