Celebrity Colon Polyps Fetch Huge Prices
The twin American culture addictions for celebrities and collectibles reached a climax yesterday when a colon polyp removed from Susan Sarandon was sold on the auction market for fifty thousand dollars
A complete box set of her prior colonoscopies along with those of Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton is on the bloc for over one-million dollars" said Dr. Moishe Pipick ,chief proctologist at Hollywood Hospital; where the polyps where stolen from a lab by some enterprising lab. technician.
Irving Mandelbaum, head curator at Christies auction house said; "The colon polyp collectible market has gone through the roof -- it is even outpacing the "star shit" collectible market; which was launched last year by an enterprising septic tank cleaner in Beverly Hills (and reported by the Digibandit at that time)."
Mr. Mandelbaum noted that a DNA certified dump from Oprah Winfrey sold for seventy-five thousand dollars -- but a set of her polops was on the market for over a quarter of a million."It's rumored that a huge Barry Bonds turd may have been sold to Beyonce for over a million bucks! - but he hasn't had a colonoscopy as yet.
He concluded; "Americans adore their celebrities; and for this new crop of super rich folks,with their limited aesthetic development and general dysfunction -- the colon and its byproducts are a natural means to connect with their cultural heroes."
It's a cleansing thought!