Entry Denied -A Tragedy
Mary Jane Langmore was the hottest of all the hotties at Knucklesburg High
School in Knucklesburg, Tennessee located in the heart of a GOP District,
represented by Milo Fuchs, a well known meth dealer and White Supremacist,
which went 97% for trump in 2016 (the seven Jewish families who voted for
Clinton were since terrorized and left town).
I mention this to give y’all a clear picture of the environment in which Mary Jane
evolved from a humble beginning -overcoming the obstacles of her poverty and a
drunken abusive father and drug addled mom to become the undisputed best
cheer leader for The Knucklesburg Beavers; known all across the region for her
slow turning triple handstands performed with no underwear!
This distraction to their opposing teams was performed to the renowned
Knucklesburg Team Chant “Save a Tree -Eat a Beaver”
Five feet 11 inches of pure female perfection she was widely referred to by the
young men in Knucklesburg County (and beyond) as : “The Teen Goddess who
could suck the chrome off a Trailer Hitch”
Almost Graduating from High School she had a demanding schedule of
studying for her GED - Waitressing at The Knucklesburg Diner and Pole Dancing
at “Bucky Bucks Beaver Palace” out on route 95 just past The Knucklesburg
Speedway.
SO NOW
You might surely be astonished to find out that Mary Jane Langmore is currently
engaged to be married to Preston Sturgiss ( Scion of The Sturgiss Mining family
and only son of Harrold Sturgiss and Vanessa ne’e Vanderbilt Sturgiss)
Yep - Young Preston Sturgiss having recently acquired his MA from the Colorado
School of Mines after completing his degree from Princeton in Geology was then
sent by Sturgiss Mining to explore coal mining opportunities in Knuckleburg
County and apply his knowledge of modern extraction methods to develop clean
coal -Especially a deep untapped vein discovered in a “Holler” three miles from
downtown Knucklesburg.
Starting to see a cruel tragedy evolving for young Preston?
From the first time Young Preston Sturgiss stepped out of his limo -Strode into
the Knucklesburg Diner where Mary Jane Langmore was assiduously catering to
the best and brightest of Knucklesburg,while dodging their dog whistles and grab
ass - AND soon detected his lascivious eyes tractor beaming onto the greatest
lips - ass and legs and tits he had ever seen, she knew there just might be a way
out of the white trash hell that God thought he was trapping her in.
AND indeed! -The first time the Chrome on Preston’s “Trailer Hitch” melted down
the throat of Mary Jane Langmore; it was over! - He was sucked into a
burgeoning tragedy worthy of The Bard!
“There’s quite a difference between fucking what you can get, and fucking something that blows the brains out of your skull like a 44 Magnum.”
Dan Skinner, The Price of Dick
Having completed his initial two week forays into The potential Sturgiss Coal
Mine acquisition and into Mary Jane Langmore -The sensually altered/enhanced
/diminished residue of Preston’s formerly disciplined mind had now taken charge
of operations AS he announced to his family that accompanying him back to their
august manor in Old Greenwich ,Connecticut for Thanksgiving - Would be his
new fiancee!
The Sturgiss and Vanderbilt clan greeted this news with same abject horror felt
by The Wampanoag Native Americans back when their Puritan ancestors had
landed at Plymouth Rock.
Cut to The Chase
To say that Mary Janes’s presence among and contribution to the elite repartee
among the titans of New England Society and Commerce and Industry was -Like
a turd in punchbowl -Would better be explained by witnessing your finely
groomed heir and model of rectitude and achievement - Reduced to a cloying
Court Jester chained to a drunken female chimpanzee in a cage -Shiiting himself
and then eating it to make the ape giggle!
Harrold Sturgiss conferred with his wife after the conclave from hell had
concluded - They summoned their head of security - Conrad Blexton An ex
British SAS commando leader and prominent “expeditor” for Black Hawk in Iraq,
to their inner sanctum for Cognac and Cigars and that was that.
Preston awoke early - Eager to consummate his nuptials in the family chapel and
then off on the family Gulfstream to their Villa on Lake Cuomo and then two
weeks at The Paris Athenee indulging Mary Jane Sturgiss in all things Chanel
-Cartier -Gucci -Hermes - Tiffany -Prada and Louis Vuitton.
Just name it darling!
BUT -Exiting the Manor where he expected to find his beloved taking an early
swim and massage and/or sauna in the family spa - He encountered three Old
Greenwich Police cars and A van with Dogs and handlers surrounding his father
and his security team led by Conrad Blexton who was explaining the early
morning discovery and disappearance of Ms. Langmore along with a family
heirloom diamond necklace and One of their Rolls Royces.
Two hours later the car -The necklace and Mary Jaynes’ dead - alcohol and drug
laden body - were retrieved from a salt water marsh out on Todd’s Point, 5 miles
from the spot where Her husband to be was now preparing to hang himself from
a beam in That very Chapel he believed would perpetuate his perpetual bliss in
“Trailer Hitch Heaven”
oomynuts@gmail.com
11-5-26
