New In-Space Masturbation Record set by Scott Kelly - Beats (pun) Yuri Gargonin by 300 Ejaculations!

 this is the palm that did the work

There are many ways to measure Mr. Kelly’s nearly yearlong mission. Among them, he traveled 143,846,525 miles, worked on more than 400 experiments and logged about 650 miles on a treadmill. 

AND masturbated 1,250 times!

 Congratulations to Scott Kelly  -He is now champion space masturbator

Osama Bin Laden was Masturbating when The Seals killed him!

American officials have said that a team of Navy SEALs seized letters, spreadsheets, books and pornography.

 Western Women rejected me

Investigators recovered a "fairly extensive" cache of "modern, electronically recorded" pornography from Osama bin Laden's compound, according to Reuters. Considered in concert with the fact that he also reportedly had natural boner juice on hand, one can reasonably conclude that bin Laden spent the balance of his time on the run jackin' it.

The Bug People have crawled out from under their Rocks!

A campaign rally for Donald J. Trump in Radford, Va., on Monday. The candidate is expected to do well today, Super Tuesday. 

The Trump Bugs