Meyer Lansky the North Pole Chief of Police stated; 'Santa has been taken into custody because of DNA evidence and testimony alleging that he was routinely sodomizing both his.male and female elves - and maybe even his Reindeers?
He said: "And we are asking all parents to watch their children this Christmas day for any evidence of unusual or frightful .behavior"
"For example -If they are afraid to open their presents or cry at the sight of milk and cookies "
"Merry Christmas"
