Oxygen Announces "Shopping makes me Wetter Than My Boyfriend"

 I get Wet thinking about shopping

Well this new series premiered on Oxygen last Monday at 11p and delivered 657,000 total viewers as well as 432,000 among A18-49, according to Nielsen.  -These viewers ought to be lined up and have their tubes tied before they bring any more future moron gal shoppers into the world.

American Buying Addicts keep Mainlining Crap as Their Lives Diminish

Black Friday shoppers spent an estimated $11.2 billion mostly on crap they don't nedd in spite of having shit in the bank for emergencies or their kids educations. 

Then they go home and eat themselves to death with their fat fucking kids while watching crap television

And then they blame it on the rich and successful for exploiting them.

Paul Ryan's Retarded Relatives (Lemur and Yokey Ryan) are REALLY PISSED at Him

 Lemur and Yokey Ryan

Lemur and Yokey Ryan - first cousins to the VP candidate who were both promised jobs as Secretary of Education and Health and Welfare respectively - said today from their trailer camp in Wisconsin:

"Fucking cousin Paul (batface) Ryan really cornholed us by losing and letting those Jews and Niggers and Spics and Homos and Lesbos take over the country - AND he shoulda never let that faggot Mitt parade his rich cunty wife all over the place!"

They continued: "Now were gonna have them teachin Science and more Rythmetic in all the schools AND soon there will be folks marrying Dogs and Cats AND Abortionists and Pot sellers will be a crawlin all over America AND we won't even be allowed to own Machine Guns or nuthin AND the tree huggers will be stompin aroun the hollow with their Lesbos and Faggots pettin Squirrels  - FUCK FUCK FUCK -Batface really cornholed us REAL Americans!!!"

Oh Boy - that WAS a narrow escape from those Republican Rednecks who WOULD  have been cavortin around and through and all over DC right now -whew!!!