"She's gone home," Obama said as tens of thousands of rowdy supporters at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte grew silent in an evening drizzle.
But he was wrong!
One hour after dying peacefully in her bed in Hawaai - Madelyn Payne Dunham was seen campaigning for her grandson in both Ohio and Florida - two key swing states which would lock the election up for Obama.
In reaction to this startling resurrection sarah Palin ran into a church in Canton, Ohio where she had just delivered a speech calling Obama a Muslim terrorist - dropped down before Jesus Christ - and began weeping hysterically:
"Forgive me father for i have sinned - and in the few hours left in this campaign - i am throwing my full support behind your new son and Savior - Lord Obama -- Amen!"
Reached in Florida at a nursing home where he had just called Obama a Communist and a fake negroe who would lead the country into chaos and depravity John (Casper) McCaine said:
"This is total bullshit - but if i'm wrong -i'm definitely fucked!"
And hearing of the resurrection of his beloved Grandmom - Obama said:
" She promised me she would rise back up and help me win the election - and i never doubted her for a moment!"
Monday, November 03, 2008
Joe the Plumber - Meet Hazel the Hooker
SAN FRANCISCO — When Proposition K was added to Tuesday’s ballot, many people likely snickered at the possibility that San Francisco might take its place alongside such prostitute-friendly havens as Amsterdam and a few rural counties in nearby Nevada.
BUT - it's looking like HAZEL the Hooker will be able to do business as UNUSUAL post election day in San Francisco! - And boy will Joe the Plumber be ecstatic!
Because while Joe has been able to fuck his clients with total impunity - poor Hazel has been forced to pay off Cops and Evangelists and Lawmakers just to suck a few lonely cocks every night.
This is fantastick news for those of us who would rather pay a reasonable fee to a real professional for sex - then beg his frigid trophy wife for a hand job - in return for half of all our assets -and the kids.
Oh - and how about all those poor fucking Rednecks and just plain poor fat and ugly people - and greedy moronic plumbers like Joe - who maybe get laid twice a year? - With legalized prostitution and the elimination of Pimps and Payoffs and Shysters:
These poor frustrated folks will be able to afford Hazel on a regular basis!
Oh - and you can bet that the killing of wild animals and violent crime will drop substantially !
Dr.Moishe Pipick - head of The Cultural Neuroscience Institute, in Berne Switzerland - said today:
"All our studies have shown that people who enjoy killing animals (called hunting in America) -and most violent criminals - would readily turn in their guns for a descent weekly blowjob."
And - anyway - wouldn't you much rather get fucked by Hazel the Hooker - than Joe the Plumber?
Vote proposition K on election day in San Francisco!
BUT - it's looking like HAZEL the Hooker will be able to do business as UNUSUAL post election day in San Francisco! - And boy will Joe the Plumber be ecstatic!
Because while Joe has been able to fuck his clients with total impunity - poor Hazel has been forced to pay off Cops and Evangelists and Lawmakers just to suck a few lonely cocks every night.
This is fantastick news for those of us who would rather pay a reasonable fee to a real professional for sex - then beg his frigid trophy wife for a hand job - in return for half of all our assets -and the kids.
Oh - and how about all those poor fucking Rednecks and just plain poor fat and ugly people - and greedy moronic plumbers like Joe - who maybe get laid twice a year? - With legalized prostitution and the elimination of Pimps and Payoffs and Shysters:
These poor frustrated folks will be able to afford Hazel on a regular basis!
Oh - and you can bet that the killing of wild animals and violent crime will drop substantially !
Dr.Moishe Pipick - head of The Cultural Neuroscience Institute, in Berne Switzerland - said today:
"All our studies have shown that people who enjoy killing animals (called hunting in America) -and most violent criminals - would readily turn in their guns for a descent weekly blowjob."
And - anyway - wouldn't you much rather get fucked by Hazel the Hooker - than Joe the Plumber?
Vote proposition K on election day in San Francisco!
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