Another Brainwashed religious child

Goldman Sachs Should Manage All US Revenue

After a lifetime of Uncle Sam investing my Social Security contributions - like you - i wound up with a whopping 2% RETURN ON MY INVESTMENT!

IF THE JEWS AT GOLDMAN SACHS HAD BEEN HANDLING MY MONEY I WOULD BE SENDING THIS BLOG IN FROM THE SOUTH OF fRANCE WHERE TWO RUSSIAN BALLERINAS WOULD BE FIGHTING OVER PUTTING THE SUN TAN LOTION ON MY BALLS ...

I mean -let's take ALL of the bucks brought in by the Treasury -give it over to Goldman and Sachs and say -"Hey boys -go run it up until we can pay off the deficit and the national debt -then pay back the Chinks (sorry Chinese) - and then give everyone in the country a nice fat bonus"

Based on how fast they recovered from everyone elses financial disaster - that should take them about three months of credit default swapping and derivative driving and hedge fund hopping.

I mean -NOBODY knows how to make moola like these guys - they are so far ahead of everybody on the Planet that we would be rolling in dough in no time.

Uncle Sam puts our hard earned money into risk free -practically no return securities and we wind up getting royally screwed

WHEN DID GOLDMAN AND SACHS EVER LOSE ON A BET?

Never! -They got every bet covered all ways around - like a bookie!

Another breakthrough idea --from yours truly

your welcome

S

Endangered Homeowners Should Take In Prisoners

Hey - with one in thirty two 'Folks" on probation or incarcerated in the good ole USA (most for non -violent crimes)- at an average annual cost in Federal prison of over 50k per year - why not let homeowners who can't make their payments:

Get paid by Uncle Sam to house them!

The average homeowner could take two prisoners for say half of what the Fed pays out - and have enough income to pay the mortgage - and enough left over to go shopping,

The prisoners would have a chance to acclimate back into society in a way that might cut down on recidivism -saving society a ton of grief and money.

And - Plenty of dough available to help the States pay for teachers.

Hey - this may be the digibandit's best idea for saving America - since recommending Bernie Madoff for Treasury Secretary.

(Oh -and the government would pay a hefty premium for homeowners who house violent prisoners - of course)

AND -Huge bonus' available for those who house pedaphiles

Better World If British Won The American Revolution

Watching the bourgoise elitists and redneck morons and just plain stupid and greedy folks who comprise the Tea Party gang - it started me thinkin about the original Tea Party and the American Revolution -and i realized with great dismay that it would be a much better World if the British had won:

The common folk in the present UK are like Rocket Scientists compared to the commoners in the USA! They watch the BBC and are mostly non religious or Church of England which is like being a Buddhist compared to an American Christian -and they are MARRIED! - Reverends don't sodomize children (they sodomize their wives like normal people do) -AND they don't feel the need to own vaults filled with guns or to kill beautiful animals for a thrill.

In The UK they have a House of Lords that knows the Common folk are assholes -and they are not ashamed to say so.

They also have a House of Commons where the people's representatives act like common assholes and are expected to by the asshole people -Who then get EXACTLY what they need and desrve,

They also have a Queen! - How fucking cool is that -AND as a result all the Gays are happy.

Oh -and without a whole lot of loony religious conservatives - you don't have debates about whether Darwin was an Atheist Jew lover and Creationism should be taught in schools -or whether a Zygote is a human being - and how God said in the bible that gays were Vermin (and all that other lovey dovey Scripture stuff)

AND AND AND -if The British HAD won the war with us - They would have been strong enough to maintain the British Empire:

Hence - NO First or Second World War (Germany wouldn't have said boo with a powerful British Empire standing in their way -AND no USSR and no cold war. (i estimate the savings in loss of life alone - at around two hundred million.)

AND best of all would have been (second only to the non emergence of those American Tea Bag morons):

When you called a customer service department for help with ANY product or service -Instead of getting "Hellooo Dees is Dakta in Mombay Ken i help Voooo?"

You would hear "Ello Mate -Gotta bit ov a problem have yeh? - well you just hold on Gov - an we will fix er right up!"

So -fuck George Washington and ALL The Founding fathers -

They screwed us Royally!

80% of US Women and 30% of Men Would Have Sex With Jesus

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Now that the Shroud of Turin has been converted into a 3D accurate image of Jesus Christ - a national poll by The Pew Research foundation has revealed that an overwhelming majority of women and a significant percentage of men would have sex with him.

Moishe Pipick - head of Psychological analysis for the foundation said today:

"This proves conclusively that Jesus' message was mostly about his amazing sex appeal and not love and justice"

"Furthermore" he said; "Now we know why his message of social justice has gone mostly ignored"

"Why?" asked digibandit Biblical reporter Elise Mandelbaum"

Dr. Pipick responded; "Because most women and gay men could give a fuck about love and equality -they just want to get laid!"

Elise said; "He sure was one hot dude!"

Jesus Spending Easter With Anna Nicole Smith Again

Jesus who has not returned to heaven since his fling with Anna Nicole Smith,after her death from electrical shock due to a short in her powerful vibrator; and who has been seen partying with a variety of hot chicks,both dead and alive -- has decided to ignore his Father's demands to return to Heaven on the anniversary of his resurrection.

Jesus said,"I'm more interested in erection than resurrection right now!"



He was overheard talking with a bartender in Malibu; " I was cooped up with God for so long without any pussy that i just went nuts -- when Anna died i decided to jump her,and now all i can think about is making up for lost time --the simple truth is that Jesus is a party animal!"



"I plan on spending Easter with Anna and Marilyn Monroe and maybe ava Gardner and Scarlett Johanson.



"The great thing about being Jesus is that i get to fuck all the pussy i want --dead or alive."



He concluded,"Anyway ,it's gonna be a great Easter -- as Anna always says -- "Jesus, you give new meaning to bringing back the dead ."



And as for my Father -- if he didn't hog all the pussy for himself and his disciples -- i wouldn't have turned into a wild cunt man."

"Happy Easter everyone~