Romney calls Obama a 'Musnig" in Campaign Ad

"I believe in calling a Spade a Spade"  said Romney as his latest attack ad made reference to Obama being half Muslim and half N word.

Obama retaliated by calling Romney a leader of a Moron (Mormon) Sect' whose founder was a SnakeOil Salesman just like Romney.

"At this rate the presidential campaign is shaping up to be a vulgar exchange of epithets!" said VP Joe Biden and further stated:

"I think the republican party has been taken over by a bunch of stupid cocksuckers!'

"Slaughter These Fat Hogs"says Romney re Obese Americans

 Mitt Romney said today "About 32 million more Americans will become obese by 2030, upping obesity rates to 42 percent of the U.S. population, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The report also predicts that the proportion of Americans who are severely obese, meaning more than 100 pounds overweight, will reach 11 percent, about double the current rate.

The report's authors give a sobering price tag for these predictions: such an increase would create $550 billion of obesity-related health care costs.

Romney said the prospect of such increasing rates, particularly those of severely obese Americans, is alarming since efforts aimed at helping people lose weight have so far proven relatively ineffective.

"Their weight continues to increase. Over the last 10 years, it has gone up tremendously," he said in a press conference. "This is a group at great risk of health complications, and yet they are increasing at an even greater rate than the rate of obesity and endangering all other Americans."

"We simply can't afford these hogs!" he said

The report was published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine and was released at the CDC's Weight of the Nation conference today, a gathering focused on the impact of the obesity epidemic. The authors analyzed data collected from each state and made projections based on a number of factors influencing obesity rates, including the cost of healthy and unhealthy foods, gas prices and Internet access.

"If one of my kids or my Dogs got that fat i would chain them up until they got back down to normal" he said.

A reporter asked him about his wife and he said "After the election she gets the Chain treatment!"

American'Will Soon Sell Their Children To Survive -says new study

“When people view themselves as doing worse financially, then that motivates them to purchase lottery tickets,” said Dr. Moishe Pipick, a postdoctoral associate at the Yale School of Management who in July published a research paper on lotteries in The Journal of Behavioral Decision Making.

"People are getting desperate! - This lottery thing is a sure sign!" - said Pipick.
“People look to the lottery to get back to where they were financially.”
“With lottery sales at record setting sales levels – and financially strapped folks spending their kids food money to win state lotteries with astronomically ridiculous odds:

It is now only a matter of time before they will start selling their children.”

Dr. Pipick continued; “I mean – there is a better chance that Paris Hilton will crawl into some fat greasy redneck’s trailer and give him a blow job - than winning the ‘Lollapalooza Twenty Thousand Jackpot Ticket’ -- from the local market”

“I mean - his porky wife has a better chance of Antonio Banderas jumping her in the Walmart parking lot - than winning at one of these ridiculous marketing scams.”

“And - his redneck kids have a better chance – statistically - of getting into Harvard – or winning a Nobel Prize - than winning the ‘Fifty Thousand Dollar Jesus Loves You’ scratch off - at the local Stuckeys.”

“This indicates total FINANCIAL desperation on the part of many Americans!”

Pipick went on; “There is a huge market in the selling of children in all of the third world countries - and a lot of folks in The United States feel just as desperate about not being able to feed their shopping frenzies - to buy some gas or beer – or some other cheap shit, - as starving folks in Calcutta do about getting a tiny bowl of rice.”

“Hey” – he concluded – “I might just buy a lottery ticket to win a blow job from Paris Hilton?”

Bishop Slices off Nuts In Papal Protest of Sodomizing Children Epidemic

Screaming  - "Please God let's women become Priests! so we can stop fucking children!  -AND God Fuck the Pope!"........

Bishop Tuchy O Feely -better known affectionately to his young Altar and Choir boys as Father (Oh! Oh! Oh!) Feely - as he cornholed them out of sexual frustration and in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.


Cardinal Rocco Antonuchi - speaking on behalf of the Pope said  in the Vatican today: "It's a sada day whena one of our besta Bishops cutsa his balls off because he cannota get his a rocks off."


He concluded; "I hopa the Popa changes hisa minda about letting woman become Priests because not ALL the cornholing being dona to the kidsa is by Homo Priests!"


The Cardinal concluded: "We gotta stop corholing all these littla children even if we have to castrate the whole Priesthood -starting with The Popa if he doesn't come to his senses!"


AMEN

"Studsy The Queer Bull" first ANIMATED film for Gay Children from Dreamworks

Steven Spielberg head of DreamWorks announced; “We are in production on the first gay themed animated film for gay Children !" 'Studsy The Queer Bull', “It's about ‘Studsy’ -- a prize Angus Bull who prefers young bull’s and steers over cows. We were thinking of calling the film, ‘The Queer Steer’ -- but technically he’s a bull (obviously not castrated) and hung like a Moose. As a matter of fact ‘Studsy’ would fuck a Moose as long as it’s a MALE Moose, and he even tried ,several times during filming, to get at me.” Chimed in Katzenberg the ex head of Disney Animation who is a humanoid version of Studsy

He continued; “Our research shows that twenty to thirty percent of Americans under the age of seven years old have strong homosexual tendencies,and child psychologists are certain that they are torn apart emotionally between openly adopting a gay lifestyle or “closeting” their emotions in an oppressive hetro dominated environment. –‘Studsy’ will instill pride and  identity resolution in young closeted gay children and help them ‘break out” -- just as ‘Studsy’ does in a very compelling scene where he is supposed to impregnate a group of prize cows,but ‘breaks out’ ( a metaphor for his closet) of the paddock and charges into the meadow --- where he proceeds to shtupp about twelve young bulls and eight steers in a violent release of pent up frustration .”

Spielberg added, “ Now youv’e got to picture this twenty six hundred pound Angus bull corn holing every asshole in sight --the energy and passion and drama ! -- Think the fifteenth round in Rocky one. -- At this point in the test screenings young boys were jumping up and down on the seats screaming, ‘fuck em -- fuck em all Studsy” and they were crying and hugging one  another and some even started masturbating.”

They concluded; “We are so thrilled and satisfied that in today’s exploitive creative environment --especially as far as our children are concerned -- that we at Dream Works are able to produce positive and socially redemptive quality programming that will constructively help our  children -- our most precious resource -- to shape and sructure their lives; as we walk hand in hand with America’s parents to achieve that goal through creative art. And - so, coming soon to a theatre near you, ‘Studsy The Queer Bull’. Bring your tiny future fags to see America’s first Queer Superhero

Eustace Conway to Cornhole a Grizzly in " Extreme Gay Mountain Men"

New wilderness series   Extreme GAY Mountain Men debuts May 31 at 10p on HISTORY.  The eight-episode series follows Eustace Conway, who has lived more than 25 years off the land in North Carolina's Blue Ridge Mountains and other mountain men who have chosen to live off the grid and follow a GAY wilderness lifestyle.  


Conway does his own lumbering, tanning and blacksmithing and lives primarily on what he can grow, fish or hunt OR STEAL.  The series also profiles Tom Oar who lives on the Yaak River in Montana and Marty Meierotto who lives in the northern range of Alaska AND we will see plenty of Brokeback Mountain cornholing  - wilderness style.


In one scene we see Conway and Tom and Marty lined up humping Wild Mountain Sheep holding on to their horns as they try to buck free.


"My goal is to cornhole a Grizzly!" said Conway -but i'll settle for Tom and Marty while forging a raging River  anyday -heh heh"


"It is a very unique way to communicate with the Natural World and we know our History audience will be very engaged with this program" said Conrad Dickle - VP programming at The History Channel

"Pregnant by Black Heels" New From Fox

"Fox has ripped off "Prenant in High Heels" from E and turned it into a soon to be ratings blockbuster "Pregnant by Black Heels" -just what our audience loves" announced Mike (the Midget) Darnell  Fox Tv creative wizard in today in Hollwood today.

"Pregnant BY Black Heels" is a docu-drama that follows Rosie Pope as she guides expecting mothers through  perils of preparing to have ababy with a mean black guy." 

Rosie is a call girl on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and is controlled by her Black Pimp-  Big Dick Henry - who is played by Ice Tea. 

And we join her in her world of drugs and sex and violence while she  shows other women (mostly street hookers) who have become used and knocked up by "Black Heels" how to deal with  all their bizarre baby needs.

Like hiding the pregnancy from her Johns - using drugs and boozing for minimal placental damage -and handling beatings and forced sex during the fourth trimester from their client and pimps and lovers.

More socially positive positive programming from your culture warrior partners at Fox TV

'Cock Choice" from Fox This Summer

The dating reality shows’ hot streak this summer continues with Fox’s The Cock Choice, a six-episode celebrity dating series that feels like a dating version ofThe Voice or a cross between the NBC singing competition and The Dating Game. Hosted by So You Think You Can Dancehost Cat Deeley, the hourlong The Cock Choice features eligible celebrities competing to find a match among a group of sexy singles… they can’t see.

The Cock Choice begins with four eligible celebrity bachelors sitting in rotating chairs, turning their backs on the sexy singles looking for a date with them. In this initial “Blind Round,” each celebrity can only use his suitors’ voices as stimulation to get an erection – as they share information about their life, passions, turn-ons and turn-offs.  When a celebrity bachelor likes what he hears, he pulls his “love handle,” spinning his chair around to bring him face-to-face for the first time with his potential mate with his cock registering the size of his erection on a giant screen. If more than one celebrity pulls the handle, they must battle it out until the sexy single chooses a celebrity. Once each bachelor has his three hotties, the teams enter the “Speed Choice” round, where each woman has only 15 seconds to convince her celebrity to get a bigger hardon.

The idea for The Choice was developed internally at Fox by the team of Fox’s president of alternative entertainment Mike (The Midget) Darnell who says he felt there was a hole in the dating reality series genre since the launch of The Bachelor. Darnell said he focused on a studio-based dating show, something that is not currently on the air. He contemplated a reboot of The Dating Game but said he felt the wall element felt very antiquated and audiences were ready for "cock fighting" so to speak he heh. 

The Golden Stool

"Do Unto Others as you would have them do unto you  -IF -

Only You Were Not  So Full of Shit"

Clarence Thomas Jailed While On Way To Porn Shop?

 If Justice Thomas is pulled over while driving to his favorite porn shop - for  say -  failing to signal.

Well then - under a new DC law - some guard in The DC Jail will be saying to the biggest asshole who ever sat on The Supreme Court "Now move your balls to the right so i can see up your black asshole mfuckah"

And THAT is what i call JUSTICE!

According to opinions in the lower courts, people may be strip-searched after arrests for violating a leash law, driving without a license and failing to pay child support. Citing examples from briefs submitted to the Supreme Court in opposition, Justice Breyer wrote that people have been subjected to “the humiliation of a visual strip-search” after being arrested for driving with a noisy muffler, failing to use a turn signal and riding a bicycle without an audible bell.

A nun was strip-searched, he wrote, after an arrest for trespassing during an antiwar demonstration.  AND NOW with it's ruling yesterday:

Supreme Court Ruling Allows Strip-Searches for Any Arrest

By ADAM LIPTAK

Published: April 2, 2012

• 

WASHINGTON — The Supreme Courton Monday ruled by a 5-to-4 vote that officials may strip-search people arrested for any offense, however minor, before admitting them to jails even if the officials have no reason to suspect the presence of contra

worth it if we nail long dong Thomas

Dildo App Orgasmically Outsells Masturbation App

Women are all 'Buzzing" and "Vibrating" - literally - with their "Dildo Android" 5g inserted -their Vagina Connected ear buds in place  - the selected Orgasm App  broadcasting erotic pre programmed erotic recordings from your real life partner(s) of choice  -  or Fantasy Celebrity -or any one of 69 different Customized or Set Erotic themes.

 9 differentVibration Settings (light show options) AND with  the Dildo Android inserted EVERY call is an exotic adventure as different voice decibels activate the phones Clit Sensor to vary the stimulation.

"This is looking bigger than The " Male Masturbation App" and we are looking at ways to combine both software packages -SO stand bye for more on that." said Dr Moishe Pipick senior engineer for Google Worldwide Erotic Programming."

OH and don't forget "Cumming and Going Don't Mix!"
                           so drive safely

Hookers Claim Secret Service Agents Have Small Peckers

 Senora Marita Coochifrito - the Madame who supplied the whores to the Secret Service " horny ladrones" (horny thieves) - said today:

"My girls were all laughing so hard because these guys had such tiny pricks!  -"los peckers son los reducto" as we say."

She further stated; "You know in our country there is an old saying   " Los hombres con los guns nostromos Cienturio Anos los prickos  no con de mucho erectione el gusto los burritos y tacos pero blancos"

She said: "This basically means that we have found from over 100 years in studying these whore mongering males - that men who like guns and hunt and shoot:


"They have tiny pricks that shoot blanks!"


"They use guns to replace their manhood!"


BUT -all my girls love Obama - they think he is cute and by the way he walks they know he is hung like a Donkey!

Robin Williams To Play Mohammad Over Arab Skies

Steven Spielberg, addressing a group of leaders in the Entertainment industry summed up their mission and conference objective:

"We will use all our acquired skills in manipulating people to stare at TV and Computer and Game screens for over seventy hour a week --- to bring about world peace -- starting in Iraq!"

"Our first mission --using the illusionary magic skills of David Blackstone  - will be to project a life like image of the Prophet Mohammad in the skies over The Arab World, where he will proclaim to his followers that suicide bombing and the killing of innocents is absolutely prohibited by the Koran "

Mohammad will proclaim "there are sixteen hundred and fifty four Muslims who sit in boiling pig fat 24/7 -- who thought they would be boffing Virgins in Paradise? --   HEY - are you fucking nuts? -- Read my words! -- WHERE does it say you are too act like deranged and cruel slaughtering monkeys in the name of Allah?"

Spielberg , in closing said "Mohammad is really pissed and wer'e going to help him get the message out'' and as a matter of fact who else would the wise Prophet turn too in helping his people -- than the Jews in Hollywood (irony worthy of Woody Allen),

Casting for the Voice of Mohammad -- i vote for Robin Williams -- You?

Israel Putting Birth Control Agents In Some Arab Countries

Dr.Moishe Pipick. -- Minister of The Israeli Experimental Defense Agency -- responded to a leaked and classified initiative by his agency to stop the out of control birth rate in the Arab world:

"I will say this -- does the world need more suicide bombers? -- does the world need more illiterate and abused and brainwashed children? - Does the world need more children who will become dysfunctional; -- and become totally ignorant and angry and hopeless death worshiping adults? --Does the world need more people who will destroy civilization?

He continued; "They are breeding like rats - at a time when the civilized societies of the world are placing a higher priority on having fewer children -- but children with the potential to lead more enlightened and vital lives and to achieve some measure of clarity calm and comfort, self fulfillment and happiness."

"So -- yes - said Dr. Pipick - it is true!" He said; "We are putting a contraception chemical in the water supplies of some Arab countries -- and so now - when - they force their dirty Arab Muslim extremist schlongers into their screaming women -- and when they knock these pitifull enslaved wives to the ground -- rip off their Burkah's - and shtup their brains out -- they will be shooting blanks!"

Asked about world reaction to this arbitrary and questionable activity Dr. Pipick responded; "Look,these people are animals -- they have no respect for sensitive and caring parenting. They knock out children like bugs with no regard for their health, welfare or education --enormous growing populations of neglected children, and none of their leaders cry out against the sickening conditions:

And the Mullahs fill the youngsters with venom and hatred --they can't even read or write -- they memorize verses in the Koran they don't understand -- and by ten years old they are ready to don suicide belts -- zombies manufactured by evil priests who worship death -- it's right out of a horror movie -- except it's real!"

He went on;"And now that the cat is out of the bag you should know that while we are trying to control the human assembly line production of future Arab fanatics -- we are artificially enhancing the birth potential of our own people --and in an ironic twist -- the people's of northern Europe including Germany - through their lakes,rivers and reservoirs.

"We felt the world did not need any more French than is absolutely necessary and the UK is just fine the way it is.(we are also considering putting birth control agents in all the USA red states )

However -- i'm sure the world would agree with our plan to stop the explosive breeding in most African countries (if you want to stretch your imagination and call them countries) -- the problem is that their testosterone levels are so high it's very difficult --and their water is so polluted it weakens the birth control agent.

The world will be angry with Israel won't it retaliate?" --said the bandit Israeli bureau chief --Elise Mandelbaum.

Dr.Pipick replied; " Sure --but the world is always pissed off at the Jews anyway.- I ask the world -- do you want a bright future for your children -- or do you want Apocalypse Now and a remake of the Road Warrior -- for real?"

WorldWide "Coyote Arm" Gathering Draws Millions

Men -from around the world - who have chewed off their arm so as to not risk waking the "Beast" they found snuggled up next to them after a drunken night of partying - joined together in Basil Switzerland today -To celebrate their collegial honor and bravery -and to warn "Men Everywhere" of the potential consequences of "Drunken Passion".

Moishe Pipick - Leader of the UCAF (Universal Coyote Arm federation) - chosen for being the first man to chew off BOTH arms when he woke up with TWINS - who in his words. "Defied the theory of evolution" announced:

"Men who have lost an arm in the service of drunken passion - bear witness and testimony to our eternal weakness for "Drunken Pussy" and the price some of us must pay for the dignity of All men Everywhere!"

Mr. Pipick went on; "And while there has been an attempt by the women marching outside our gathering to establish a "Coyote Arm" organization of their own -we can see by the number of one armed women marching - that they have a limited following"

"And - we have it on good sources - that most of those one armed women were the victims of MEN who got their arms mixed up"

"And in conclusion" - said Pipick -"I am so proud to see the growing numbers of TWO ARM Coyote Men". -"It takes great courage to chew off both arms - And we salute them!"

"Secret Service are Pussy Hounds!" -says Obama

President Barack Obama  has lost confidence in Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan in a widening scandal over agents fucking prostitutes on the margins of an international summit in Cartagena, Colombia, the White House said Tuesday.

The president made clear "he believes that men working under such intense pressure have extra large libidos and need to get laid regularly -especially when on dangerous Foreign assignments"  White House spokesman JayCarney said.

"If in fact it turns out that the president feels a special group of Hookers should be developed for the Secret Service Pussy Hounds" Carney said, echoing Obama's own comments in Colombia.

Asked whether the Secret Service scandal and the controversy over the General Services Administration's lavish party on the taxpayer dime in Las Vegas threatened to erode further Americans' trust in their government, Carney said "Obama knows what it's like to be very horny due to prolonged absences from home and intense work pressure and thinks that a Hooker Squad might help Congress alleviate some anxt and to work together more productively"

Obama was quoted as saying; "The average lawmaker up on the Hill would fuck a snake! -I wouldn't fuck some of the women they fuck with THEIR dicks!  -BUT - HEY -you gotta be realistick and satisfy The Pussy Hounds - If not - they will fuck the people!"

Priests Should Be Castratted After Taking Vows

They won't need their nuts anymore anyway - and a lot of children will be saved from getting ravaged by the hordes of queer priests at "Club Vatican"

And since the Church refuses to ordain women or let men have normal sex lives - the Church is a haven for fruit cakes who have a "religious watering hole" to stalk their prey.

And -as we have found out - Your local Church has provided a fertile hunting ground with tens of thousands of victims- lots of kids who will never get over the trauma of being sexually assaulted (and by a trusted emissarry of the Lord no less).

And if you think it's not business as usual in the " Now Johnny -God want's me to put my staff in your mouth and then in your bung hole -so be a good little Altar Boy" business - then you must be delusional!

You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Jessica Simpson walks into his bedroom naked.

So - i say - "Off with their nuts" - that ought to put a crimp (oops) in the recruitment of queers into "Club Vatican."


Oh -and not to worry --God will keep their nuts safe until they get to Heaven.

Sarah Palin Gets Roasted By Founding Fathers

So - An esteemed group of our Founding Fathers - have been up there in the great Eternal Cosmic Consciousness watching Sarah Palin's political exploits and now they are having their monthly dinner get together -and tonight's subject of conversation is Ms. Palin:

John Adams "This woman is a complete fucking moron! -am i right Ben?"

Benjamin Franklin "Fucking scariest shit imaginable -you know how much i love Democracy but this is what happens when you let ALL the ignorant assholes participate"

George Washington " I hate to mix in politics guys -as you know -but this woman hasn't got a fucking clue - she doesn't say anything but generalities -she's like a Populist Parrot - and ALL those great women leaders out there to compare her to -can't those rednecks see through her ignorant rantings and raving?"

Alexander Hamilton "Wow -that's a mouth full from you George - But hey guys -they let EVERYONE participate in the system now -and we know full well that roughly thirty percent of the population are fucking idiots -they just follow whoever makes them feel good about their preconceived notions -a babble rabble of monumental moronic proportions."

James Monroe "I'm with you guys on this one - she's done nothing - she gets her guidance from a Stone Age scripture - never says anything of any depth or perception -never demonstrates knowledge of the complicated issues of the day -has no depth or intellectual fiber or curiosity -she truly IS a fucking jerk!"

John Hancock "It's scary all right -but the timing is perfect for a schmuck like her with the unemployment and the deficit and that fucking Tea Party rabble -and a black president -and a Republican Party on life support culturally.

Thomas Jefferson " Look -it's simple -If John McCain didn't lend his gravitas to her she'd be home in Wasilla fucking Eskimos and shooting wolves -and the rednecks would never have discovered her -AND - You know McCain must have been screwing her - and she can probably suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"

John Adams "Well Thomas we don't agree on much but i think you nailed it right on the head -we all knew when women got the vote that pussy would enter politics -and some jerks like Palin would create a stir -but so far most of the female leaders have been dogs who had to make it with their brains and knowledge and creative energy."

Thomas Jefferson 'So right John -but i have to say that Nancy Pelosi has brains and all that positive stuff - but boy would i like to play with her bodacious ta ta's"

George Washington "Jefferson -we all know you would fuck a snake!"

Jefferson "Ha ha ha George -BUT -i wouldn't fuck Sarah Palin even with those legs -She's gotta be a SMART snake!"

Washington  " You are right Tommy -Michelle Bachman gives me a boner BUT talk about stupid!"

Those Founding Fathers sure were amazing!

Google's "Dildo Android" With Orgasm Apps Outsells Maturbation AP

Women are all 'Buzzing" and "Vibrating" - literally - with their "Dildo Android" 5g inserted -their Vagina Connected ear buds in place  - the selected Orgasm App  broadcasting erotic pre programmed erotic recordings from your real life partner(s) of choice  -  or Fantasy Celebrity -or any one of 69 different Customized or Set Erotic themes.

 9 differentVibration Settings (light show options) AND with  the Dildo Android inserted EVERY call is an exotic adventure as different voice decibels activate the phones Clit Sensor to vary the stimulation.

"This is looking bigger than The " Male Masturbation App" and we are looking at ways to combine both software packages -SO stand bye for more on that." said Dr Moishe Pipick senior engineer for Google Worldwide Erotic Programming."

OH and don't forget "Cumming and Going Don't Mix!"
                           so drive safely

Anne Romney Only Has Vagina In Common With..

99.9% of American women whether they work OR Stay at home -let alone most women who work AND raise their kids and manage their households with little or no help from their husbands.

Her husband is worth 400 million dollars!

Her kids have tutors and nannies and Chauffeurs and go to  safe schools in safe neighborhoods and exist in a totally pampered and privileged cocoon 24/7.

Her biggest concern is how to travel to their luxurious vacation homes and resorts without having to put up with their Dog INSIDE the car.

1. 

   (Ann Romney laughed while explaining that Seamus, the dog once owned by the Romney family, “loved” traveling on top of the family car.)

Oh -any of you own a $500,000 Drissage Horse?

Truth is -even her Vagina is different -it's gotta be from all those long soaks in bath oils and bubbles that cost more than your hubbie makes in a month - OH -and you know Mitty ain't goin down there so why does she care anyway.

Rick Sanitorum Says "God and jesus fucked Me!" And Can Go To Hell!

A confidential email from Rick Sanitorium has been leaked which shows he his not exactly happy with his good (ex) pal) God!

"God really fucked me over!" he emailed his top fund raiser the Reverend Brigham Newnuts at the Pac - "Lordy Lordy How The Lord Loves His Second Son Ricky."

The email went on; "God promised me i would be President - he told me that he would never allow a Moron -I mean Mormon to be President -especially after what he did to his Dog - and that he would never allow a (the N word) to be re -elected! -AND that i was his main man!."

Sanitorium went further:  "God has turned out to be a real asshole and i think Jesus was in on it because he thinks i hate Jews!"

The email concluded: 'Well fuck God! AND Jesus -They can both go straight to Hell!"

"Secret Service Are Pussy Hounds" says Obama

By Olivier Knox | The Ticket – 2 hrs 41 mins ago

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Click image to see more photos. (AFP/Alex Ogle)

President Barack Obama  has lost confidence in Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan in a widening scandal over agents fucking prostitutes on the margins of an international summit in Cartagena, Colombia, the White House said Tuesday.

The president made clear "he believes that men working under such intense pressure have extra large libidos and need to get laid regularly -especially when on dangerous Foreign assignments"  White House spokesman JayCarney said.

"If in fact it turns out that the president feels a special group of Hookers should be developed for the Secret Service Pussy Hounds" Carney said, echoing Obama's own comments in Colombia.

Asked whether the Secret Service scandal and the controversy over the General Services Administration's lavish party on the taxpayer dime in Las Vegas threatened to erode further Americans' trust in their government, Carney said "Obama knows what it's like to be very horny due to prolonged absences from home and intense work pressure and thinks that a Hooker Squad might help Congress alleviate some anxt and to work together more productively"

Obama was quoted as saying; "The average lawmaker up on the Hill would fuck a snake! -I wouldn't fuck some of the women they fuck with THEIR dicks!  -BUT - HEY -you gotta be realistick and satisfy The Pussy Hounds - If not - they will fuck the people!"