JESUS Said "My Jewish Wife is a Fucking Ballbreaker!" - In new found Ancient Scroll

Jesus Christ Was Married To A Jewish Ball Breaker

 why me?

Professor Karen L. King, in her office at Harvard Divinity School, held a fragment of papyrus that she says contains a reference to Jesus' wife.

 The ink on the front side contains eight lines, dark enough to be legible.  -- Jesus said unto to them"My Jewish wife is a fucking Ballbreaker.” 

“It’s obviously an important find,” said Carl R. Holladay, professor of New Testament studies at the Candler School of Theology at Emory University.

Also, he added, “The circumstances in which it’s come to light really require all scholars to realize that Jesus was another man who suffered from wife ballbreaking" ”

Dr. King has reiterated that the fragment is  proof that Jesus was married because it was found shortly before his death, making it historically reliable. 

The finding has prompted “Jesus Was Married” headlines around the world — and jokes about Mrs. Jesus’ “honey-do” list.

The papyrus fragment, which measures only about 1 ½ by 3 inches, is written in Coptic that Dr. King says is consistent with writing seen in fourth-century Egypt. It is roughly rectangular, torn on all four sides, so that each line of text is incomplete. 

Other phrases in the text suggest that it is an account of a dialogue between Jesus and his disciples, Dr. King maintains. According to her translation, Line 3 includes the words  

“She  is hot but somewhat of a bitch .” Line 5, immediately after the line about Jesus’ wife, says, “...she will be able to be my disciple.” Line 7 says, “As for me, I dwell with her in order to get laid and relax therein and that fag Paul is going to hate her.”

Dr. King, who holds a chair at Harvard Divinity School, has written extensively about the Gospels of Mary, Judas and Philip, relatively recent discoveries that are not a part of the established biblical canon. Even before this week, Dr. King was a favorite target of religious leaders who seek to alter the truth to protect the Church Dogma.

NRA president says Nancy Lanza Should have Slept With a Gun and Been ON Alert

WASHINGTON — David Keene — big-game hunter, éminence grise to conservatives, and now head of the National Rifle Association — was explaining last month why people are buying more guns these days and why Nancy Lanza "deserved what she got."

“Today,” Mr. Keene told a roomful of conservatives in Hawaii, “guns are cool.” 

He then went on to say that - "Nancy lanza knew she had a wacko living in her house  to whom she had given gun training and she should have been on alert at all times -Armed and Cocked and ready for action even when snoozing -like all good NRA Gunners of The Tribe!!!"

Some sensational news accounts paint Nancy Lanza as a survivalist, someone who was prepping for the end of the world, stockpiling weapons and urging her sons to do target shooting, particularly after the 2009 divorce from her husband, Peter Lanza

 Investigators have linked Ms. Lanza to five weapons: two powerful handguns, two traditional hunting rifles and a semiautomatic rifle that is similar to weapons used by troops in Afghanistan. Her son took the two handguns and the semiautomatic rifle to the school. Law enforcement officials said they believed the guns were acquired legally and were registered. 

 shoulda locked up those guns and you'd still have a face

Lanza's shooting his mother in the face is "the most extreme kind of erasure," said  Dr,Weinberg. "The face is how you know a person." It is what she called "obliteration."

Whatever happened in their home, Nancy Lanza's legacy is as the mother of a son now to be immortalized as a demon. That will not be obliterated.

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/Analysis/2012/12/19/Was-Nancy-Lanza-a-monster-or-just-the-mother-of-one/WEN-4521355955179/#ixzz2FhwAkavg

Santa Was Accused of Sodomizing His Elves In 2011

 SO -be very careful this year -he is supposed to be rehabilitated BUT make sure your kids don't get cornholed along with their gifts -here is last years report of Santa's arrest:

"Santa arrived back in the North Pole after a long night of gift giving to find himself taken into custody by the Polar Police -his Reindeer quarantined and his sled impounded -as hundreds of elves with torches and pitchforks screamed "Santa is a pervert!"

Meyer Lansky the North Pole Chief of Police stated; 'Santa has been taken into custody because of DNA evidence and testimony alleging that he was routinely sodomizing both his.male and female elves - and maybe even his Reindeers?

 Rudolph may Have been Cornholed Too

He said: "And we are asking all parents to watch their children this Christmas day for any evidence of unusual or frightful .behavior"

"For example -If they are afraid to open their presents or cry at the sight of milk and cookies "

Oxygen announces Naomi Campbell in " The Cum In MY Face Challenge"

 I can Suck the Chrome OFF a Trailer Hitch

To coincide with the premiere of its new series Cum in MY Face, Oxygen Media -leading provider of quality programming to frustrated and stupid fucking women is asking its viewers to channel their inner  blowjob supermodel with "The Cum in MY Face Challenge."  Launching earlier this week on the show's YouTube channel, this user generated contest and on-the-ground activation is taking The Cum Face directly to people to get them excited about the premiere of the new on-air competition series executive produced by Naomi Campbell and featuring her as a supermodel blow job coach.  Fans can submit videos emulating the supermodels tecniques for a chance to win an ultimate VIP blowjob treatment in New York City and to see their name announced as the winner during the season premiere set for February 12 at 9p on Oxygen.  Submissions to the contest may also be featured on a Times Square billboard the day of the show's premiere.  Access The Cum in MY Face Challenge on Oxygen's official YouTube channel for The Face at: www.youtube.com/thefaceonoxygen.  The Face is produced by Shine America.

Mittens Attempts Suicide Again -Says Ann Romney -In the Whirlpool

 I Wish They would lock him up in a mental institution -Said Ann

"He just can't stand that he is now a NOBODY - I found him in the whirlpool in our Spa and he had tied some of my Steuben Crystal Pieces around his neck and was trying to drown himself - and he kept screaming that no one calls him anymore except for money - and that The Mormon Church told him he is a disgrace for losing the election with his stupid blabbering about the 47% er's and the Hispanics." said Ann Romney today.

"He has turned into a blabbering asshole -and on top of that he ruined three of my best Steuben Crystal Sculptures"

HBO Doc Re Clinton will Show Sex and Monica's Blow Job

 Billy Says i could Suck The Chrome off a Trailer Hitch

HBO's upcoming Bill Clinton doc to be directed by Martin Scorsese
A new HBO documentary about former President Bill Clinton will be directed by Martin Scorsese. The film, which is being made with the cooperation of Clinton, will focus on his presidency and subsequent work around global health issues, world economies and the environment.AND:

Scorcese said today in Hollwood;"And you know i don't pull any punches when i direct SO you WILL get to see a lot of sucking and fucking in this documentary along with the political and humanitarian shit - wouldn't be fair to Bill otherwise."

Marine on Knees Proposing Marriage Scares Jihadists Shitless

 To all those Islamic Fighters doing their best to slaughter us Infidels - Look at what you will be facing out there and know your end is in sight AND Congratulations to U.S. Marine Corps captain Matthew Phelps, who proposed to his partner Ben Schock in the White House over the weekend.

Wrote Phelps: "Such a special night surrounded by wonderful people in an amazing place, and the best is still yet to come with Ben Schock. Thanks for all the wonderful greetings and messages, and thanks to Barack Obama and Michelle Obama for lending us your home for the occasion!"
Towleroad readers may recall Phelps as the Marine who last year shared a very inspiring story with us about taking a date to the Marine Corps Ball.

NRA says "Kids Should be Armed" -The Earlier The Better

"A boy or girl of 5 or 6 years of age is capable of handling a 22 Magnum Pistol which is very light AND loaded with hollow points can stop a grown man in his tracks at forty feet!"

  So said Wayne La Pierre head of the NRA today responding to calls for reasonable gun legislation in the aftermath of the slaughter in Connecticut.

He further stated that "parents who don't teach their tots to begin getting used to handling guns  -so that by the age five they are ready to defend themselves - are just plain irresponsible!"

 Clem and Clovis La Pierre -NRA Role Models

He said:"My two uncles Clem and Clovis started me off by making me suck the barrel of a gun in my crib." 

Hey what more is there to say about these sicko lovers of guns as playtoys  - they are all mentally challenged

BlowGuns With Knockout Darts Should Replace Hand Guns

http://www.cabelas.com/catalog/search.cmd?N=0&Ntk=AllProducts&Ntt=darts&WT.srch=1&WT.tsrc=PPC&WT.mc_id=google|gif_Paintball+Blowgun_Blowguns|USA&WT.z_mc_id1=sBe43lrsB&rid=20&pcrid=7989700758

It's dark and someone has entered your house with a gun -now the odds of this happening are less than you getting hit by lightening and while you are stunned from the strike  -someone comes along and Cornholes you -    

BUT (oops)If it Should Happen -Fear Not:

It's easy -you slip into the room and hit him with the knockout dart fired from your blowgun - you call the police - you don't have to maim or kill anyone over some crap he might have taken - your kids can't go to school with your blowgun and mess up the whole auditorium - AND you save a ton of money and help set back The Gun Nuts at The NRA and the gun smugglers -and you can get back to nature with your kids and your blowgun - 

Become Pygmy Hunter Gatherers for a weekend and see how bonding that can be.

The NRA - National Retarded Assholes - Remember This Shooting?

NRA Strikes Again! -Another Sick Fuck With an Assault Rifle - Congratulations David Keene

P

Police recovered an AR-15 assault rifle and two .40 caliber Glock handguns on Holmes; a fourth weapon, a Remington shotgun, was retrieved from the theater. All the firearms were obtained legally. Holmes didn't resist arrest, and no other suspects were believed to be involved.

• Holmes was reportedly wearing all-black ballistics gear, including a helmet, bulletproof vest, leggings, throat protector, groin protector, tactical gloves and gas mask. Police believe he set off two smoke or tear-gas devices to distract the crowd before opening fire. His car was said to be stockpiled with additional ammunition.

• Various reports have surfaced claiming that Holmes supposedly told police that he was the Joker and sported red hair, but Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates refused to comment on the claims. However, at a press conference in New York City, Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly told reporters, "It clearly looks like a deranged individual. He has his hair painted red. He said he was the Joker, obviously the enemy of Batman."

David Keene NRA President

 assault rifles in EVERY American Home

In 2004 the NRA opposed renewal of the Federal Assault Weapons Banof 1994, which banned many features of certain semiautomatic rifles and certain types of removable magazines – gun control advocates wanted to make the ban permanent and expand it. The NRA succeeded, and the ban expired at midnight on September 13, 2004.^[35]

When Was the last Time Someone NEEDED A Gun for Protection? n

 I just needed to Get laid

The point  that the gun fanatics miss is that there are a miniscule number of cases where a person has needed to defend himself against an attacker -and in most of those cases according to Law Enforcement The INNOCENT Gun Owner became the victim AND even then - why would they need a closet full of guns? 

SEE all those high tech weapons floating around creates the opportunity for sickos and criminals to get their hands on them  SO listen up gun lovers -we don't want to restrict reasonable gun ownership - we just want to control the size of your arsenals and enhance background checks.

 Investigators have linked Ms. Lanza to five weapons: two powerful handguns, two traditional hunting rifles and a semiautomatic rifle that is similar to weapons used by troops in Afghanistan. Her son took the two handguns and the semiautomatic rifle to the school. Law enforcement officials said they believed the guns were acquired legally and were registered.

Ms. Lanza’s fascination with guns became an important focus of attention on Saturday as investigators tried to determine what caused Mr. Lanza to carry out one of the worst massacres in the nation’s history.

Investigators have linked Ms. Lanza to five weapons: two powerful handguns, two traditional hunting rifles and a semiautomatic rifle that is similar to weapons used by troops in Afghanistan. Her son took the two handguns and the semiautomatic rifle to the school. Law enforcement officials said they believed the guns were acquired legally and were registered.

Ms. Lanza, 52, had gone through a divorce in 2008 and was described by friends as social 

 and generous to strangers, but also high-strung, as if she were holding herself together.

LOOK -The simple awful truth is that people who fall in love with power tools with bullets are pretty fucked up to begin with -i mean when you think of all the potential hobbies and interests? -These folks are just looking to validate themselves in some freaky nasty way -and there are a lot of those fuckers around! 

Why The jews Are So Successful

http://ibnmahadi.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/why-are-the-jews-so-powerful-by-dr-farrukh-saleem-the-writer-is-a-pakistani-an-islamabad-based-freelance-columnist/

education -education- education

Logo Launches "The Anal Sex Show"

 This will be soooo fun

Logo launches a live, late-night talk show focused on intimate relationships shot in front of a live studio audience.  The Queer Anal Sex Show premieres February 4 with live broadcasts for both coasts at 11p each night.   Heidi Hamilton hosts the show that will feature a panel of relationship experts including former porn star Katie Morgan, psychic life coach Dougall Fraser and relationship and sexuality expert Dr. Mike Dow who will take calls from the audience via phone, video chat and social networks such as Twitter and Facebook.  Logo's show will also go live each night with an online version focusing on questions and content that is too much for TV.  The show is produced by Banca Studio in association with Lionsgate Television.

CW - Network for Morons - Announces "The Cunt Hunt"

"The CW where we program for redneck morons" - announced Clem Butts VP Reality programming from his trashy trailer in backwoods Mississippi - approved yet another breakthrough program for its development slate: 

The Cunt Hunt is a one-hour competition series from David Garfinkle, Jay Renfroe and Greg Goldman and is described as an "intense wilderness competition with a pussy payoff."  The Hunt's action takes place over one month as 12 teams of two men each are provided no food, water or shelter but must compete in a game where they rely on their physicality, survival skills and hunting skills to win hot pussy.

Once a team wins the hunting survival round they are taken to The Cunt Hunt Lodge where they can party all night long with the Cunt Club Hookers as a reward for their hunting and survival prowess.

Renegade 83 and Blackbird Television are producing in association with Warner Horizon.  The CW's second reality project is the half-hour "Perfect Anal Score" giving participants a chance to win a date but also the opportunity to win cash if they can successfully Cornhole their perfect match.  Scott St. John created the show and will serve as EP.  FremantleMedia North America is producing.  Premiere dates will be announced in the near future.

Fox TV announces "She's Got Balls!! --SHIT!"

They HAVE balls








Arnold Schlock, president of Fox reality television, announced their next breakthrough in family friendly -- trans gender -- reality programming.




"A group of young men men will get a chance to win one million dollars by deciding which of ten gorgeous transsexuals are actually women." Arnold continued,"The men -- all athletic macho types will get to ask questions and to slow dance with the transsexuals (hoping of course to get a revealing "rise" out of the real transexuals ) in weeding out the men from the women," he said at a press conference in West Hollywood today -- transsexual capitol of the world.





"The contest will have a dramatic climax (oops) - as the men make their final choice and approaching their designated female choice they dramatically reach out and grab her/his crotch!" -- he continued with a big smile, "If they grab a pair of balls -- the stage lights up like a home run at Dodger stadium with the announcement -- "She's Got Balls! -SHIT"





"AND the poor schmuck is out a million bucks and the transsexual get's the money." -- this is gonna be the next American Idol as we travel the country holding transsexual auditions," Mr. Schlock stated.


"In little towns all across the country -- mothers will be escorting their teenage sons ( either real transexuals or gorgeous imposters ) to the local "She's Got balls" audition sites ," he said proudly, -- And this show will go a long way to breaking down the walls of intolerance that divide the "genders" in this great land of ours."

Another great television show and positive cultural breakthrough from Fox Television! --Could "He's Got A Pussy -Shit !" be next?

Lifetime Network Casting Call - "The Blow Hards"

 All entrants get a "Blow Me" T Shirt compliments of Lifetime

Lifetime Casting Call: The Network for  desperate women is seeking three close female friends with loud, big fun personalities who are all in relationships and think they can help one another improve those relationships by teaching them to give better blow jobs and cornholing tricks.  The show is seeking ladies with strong opinions who won't hold anything back.  To nominate yourself, friends or family members, send an email to: friendshelpingrelationships@gmail.com.
 

DreamWorks Announces 'StudsyThe Queer Bull" Anmation for Gay Kids

Steven Spielberg head of DreamWorks announced; “We are in production on the first gay themed animated film for gay Children !" 'Studsy The Queer Bull', “It's about ‘Studsy’ -- a prize Angus Bull who prefers young bull’s and steers over cows. We were thinking of calling the film, ‘The Queer Steer’ -- but technically he’s a bull (obviously not castrated) and hung like a Moose. As a matter of fact ‘Studsy’ would fuck a Moose as long as it’s a MALE Moose, and he even tried ,several times during filming, to get at me.” Chimed in Katzenberg the ex head of Disney Animation who is a humanoid version of Studsy

He continued; “Our research shows that twenty to thirty percent of Americans under the age of seven years old have strong homosexual tendencies,and child psychologists are certain that they are torn apart emotionally between openly adopting a gay lifestyle or “closeting” their emotions in an oppressive hetro dominated environment. –‘Studsy’ will instill pride and  identity resolution in young closeted gay children and help them ‘break out” -- just as ‘Studsy’ does in a very compelling scene where he is supposed to impregnate a group of prize cows,but ‘breaks out’ ( a metaphor for his closet) of the paddock and charges into the meadow --- where he proceeds to shtupp about twelve young bulls and eight steers in a violent release of pent up frustration .”

 Studsy Is OUR Hero

Spielberg added, “ Now you have got to picture this twenty six hundred pound Angus bull corn holing every asshole in sight --the energy and passion and drama ! -- Think the fifteenth round in Rocky one. -- At this point in the test screenings young boys were jumping up and down on the seats screaming, ‘fuck em -- fuck em all Studsy” and they were crying and hugging one  another and some even started masturbating.”

Manny Pacquiao Tells Mitt and Ann Romney to Fuck Off!

LAS VEGAS -- Gov. Mitt Romney, the 2012 Republican presidential nominee, sat in the front row at the MGM Grand Garden to watch the Manny Pacquiao-Juan Manuel Marquez fight Saturday along with his wife, Ann.

Romney visited Pacquiao's dressing room about two hours before Pacquiao walked to the ring. According to Pacquiao publicist Fred Sternburg, Romney extended his hand to Pacquiao and said, "Hi Manny. I ran for president and lost."

 Bob Arum -The Fight's promoter said: "Then Manny said to Mitt and his wife"

"You two Mexican hating douchebags get the fuck out of here and i hope some wetbacks outside cut off your rich cock and cornhole your Fat Ugly Mexican hating wife in the parking lot!"

 Elise Mandelbaum

"What did the Romneys then say" asked digibandit fight reporter Elise Mandelbaum? 

Arum replied:" They kinda told me that they might hire him to do their landscaping if he loses."  

Israeli's Afloat in A Sea of Arab Madness

 Israeli Jet

Monarchs and Despots and Religious Fanaticks and Fascists hold sway over huge populations of illiterate and angry young men and women -and even in the oil fueled richer countries the women are second class citizens and the lower classes are kept at bay by the rich bones the rulers feed to the Mad Mullahs and their fnatical flocks.

 Their Sectarian Violence reminds us of the 130 Year War in Europe  with it's non stop slaughter between Catholics and Protestants EXCEPT among The Arabs it's been going on for 1,500 years and with no signs of the unrelenting butchery between Shia and Sunni diminishing.

It is truly amazing that The Israeli'are still around! -A postage stamp sized Democracy! A Beacon of the brightest light humanity has ever shed on the human condition - from education to science and technology and justice and the humanities BUT most salient is the compassionate and respectful and progressive treatment of ALL members of society -  children and women and the elderly (be they Arab or Jew) and even their criminals:  AND therein by comparison lies the core deficiency inherent in all Arab Societies:

They treat each other mostly as tribal enemies -  and their women and children mostly like total shit - and their minds are inflamed and retarded by Religious leaders who have the intellectual and moral standing of Beasts -Camels!

The core lesson here is a sad one - without Military Superiority no Nation however righteous will ever be secure.

Lifetime announces "Preachers' Cock Hound Daughters"

Lifetime ordered a new family docu-soap series Preachers' Cock Hound Daughters that follows the lives of teenage pastors' daughters and their parents.  The eight-episode series will explore the daily pressures of these teens as they struggle with the moronic beliefs and sick brainwashing of their Preacher family which has lead to their sexual repression and subsequent sexual dysfunction.  

 I Live for A Big Bone

 Sin Sin Sin Guilt Guilt Guilt

Preachers' CockHound Daughters is slated to premiere on Lifetime in 2013 and is produced by Thinkfactory Media.  Adam Reed, Emily Sinclair, Adam Freeman and Leslie Greif all serve as EPs along with Lifetime's Rob Sharenow, Gena McCarthy, Kimberly Chessler and Toby Faulkner.  A+E Networks will be involved with global sales for the series.