Can you believe this delusional moron?
"At month’s end, I will join those whom you meet in your travels — the ordinary Americans who tell you they are praying for you. Like them, I will ask for God’s continued gifts of strength and wisdom for you and your work, your vital work for our country and the world and for the Almighty’s continued blessing of our great country."
God used you as a way to destroy the bible belted warped evangelical political ideology that you mainlined into the Republican party -- like heroin -- and give the democrats a political franchise that even they can't fuck up!
I hope you are haunted by the cries of all the innocent men women and children that you helped maim and mutilate and destroy in Iraq with your born again - woopedy doo Democratic vision for a people you did not and do not understand and never will.
So you and your neanderthal buddy Bush can go huntin and a fishin and a prayin while the world recovers from your blind grubby power grab and thankfully short stroll upon the political landscape.
Reason and competency will grow up strong through the dry weeds of your hypocrisy and misguided and blind faith based ideological delusions -- and vision and clarity and thoughtful collective endeavor will rise again.
So long you fucking asshole - eat shit and die!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
katie Couric Will Kill To Boost Ratings
As her news ratings continue their protracted swan dive --Katie's desperation has reached a dangerous peak!
Her mentor Les Moonsbeam president of CBS and his news gurus have tried every ugly programming trick; including as reported by the Bandit in previous bulletins: Showing her nipple -- having her voice dubbed over and becoming the worlds first actual news dummy -- and .having a replica of Walter Cronkite's head fitted over her own.
Nothing has worked to stop her ratings decline but now she has agreed to go along with CBS news management and go for broke!
On September first, the bandits' network news reporter Esther Ginsberg,
has found out; "katie and her news team and a special security attachment will enter Baghdad and travel to An-bar province, where Katie's mission will be to personally shoot and kill a Muslim extremist -And capture the killing - and her reaction on tape - for a CBS prime time special news hour report; "Katie Couric kills for you!"
Reached by phone today Katie said; "Look Esther -ive tried everything my sick bosses have asked of me -- so if i have to kill a lousy Muslim to prove to the audience that I'm not just another talk show pussy with great legs - why hell --I'll kill as many of those sick fucks as they want."
Katie concluded; "killing a Jihadist can't be half as bad as going down on Les ."
Her mentor Les Moonsbeam president of CBS and his news gurus have tried every ugly programming trick; including as reported by the Bandit in previous bulletins: Showing her nipple -- having her voice dubbed over and becoming the worlds first actual news dummy -- and .having a replica of Walter Cronkite's head fitted over her own.
Nothing has worked to stop her ratings decline but now she has agreed to go along with CBS news management and go for broke!
On September first, the bandits' network news reporter Esther Ginsberg,
has found out; "katie and her news team and a special security attachment will enter Baghdad and travel to An-bar province, where Katie's mission will be to personally shoot and kill a Muslim extremist -And capture the killing - and her reaction on tape - for a CBS prime time special news hour report; "Katie Couric kills for you!"
Reached by phone today Katie said; "Look Esther -ive tried everything my sick bosses have asked of me -- so if i have to kill a lousy Muslim to prove to the audience that I'm not just another talk show pussy with great legs - why hell --I'll kill as many of those sick fucks as they want."
Katie concluded; "killing a Jihadist can't be half as bad as going down on Les ."
Friday, August 10, 2007
Celebrity Colon Polyps Fetch Huge Prices
The twin American culture addictions for celebrities and collectibles reached a climax yesterday when a colon polyp removed from Susan Sarandon was sold on the auction market for fifty thousand dollars
"A complete box set of her prior colonoscopies along with those of Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton is on the bloc for over one-million dollars" said Dr. Moishe Pipick ,chief proctologist at Hollywood Hospital; where the polyps where stolen from a lab by some enterprising lab technician.
Irving Mandelbaum, head curator at Christies auction house said; "The colon polyp collectible market has gone through the roof -- it is even outpacing the "star shit" collectible market; which was launched last year by an enterprising septic tank cleaner in Beverly Hills (and reported by the Digibandit at that time).
Mr. Mandelbaum noted that a DNA certified dump from Oprah Winfrey sold for seventy-five thousand dollars -- but a set of her polops was on the market for over a quarter of a million.
"It's rumored that a huge Barry Bonds turd may have been sold to Beyonce for over a million bucks! - he hasn't had a colonoscopy as yet."
He concluded; "Americans adore their celebrities; and for this new crop of super rich folks,with their limited aesthetic development and general dysfunction -- the colon and its byproducts are a natural means to connect with their cultural heroes."
It's a cleansing thought!
"A complete box set of her prior colonoscopies along with those of Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton is on the bloc for over one-million dollars" said Dr. Moishe Pipick ,chief proctologist at Hollywood Hospital; where the polyps where stolen from a lab by some enterprising lab technician.
Irving Mandelbaum, head curator at Christies auction house said; "The colon polyp collectible market has gone through the roof -- it is even outpacing the "star shit" collectible market; which was launched last year by an enterprising septic tank cleaner in Beverly Hills (and reported by the Digibandit at that time).
Mr. Mandelbaum noted that a DNA certified dump from Oprah Winfrey sold for seventy-five thousand dollars -- but a set of her polops was on the market for over a quarter of a million.
"It's rumored that a huge Barry Bonds turd may have been sold to Beyonce for over a million bucks! - he hasn't had a colonoscopy as yet."
He concluded; "Americans adore their celebrities; and for this new crop of super rich folks,with their limited aesthetic development and general dysfunction -- the colon and its byproducts are a natural means to connect with their cultural heroes."
It's a cleansing thought!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
NYC Council AttemptsTo Abolish "Bitch"--Vulgar March Planned
NY Times Today
The term is hateful and deeply sexist, said Councilwoman Darlene Mealy of Brooklyn, who has introduced a measure against the word, saying it creates “a paradigm of shame and indignity” for all women.
What's next from the word police? - Well first they banned the "N" word and now their target is the "B' word! Can you fucking believe this escalation of political correctness crap?
How about parents who call their kids stupid and fat and jerk-off and every esteem damaging reference imagine able -- no concern there -why? -because people like Darlene Mealy are politically opportunistic cuntheads.
Well were not gonna take it anymore! The Digibandit has organized a "Vulgar March" -- All defenders of free and unfettered filthy speech will meet at seven am on Saturday August 11th at central Park and Fifth Avenue.
We will march to City Hall screaming a list of obscenities that will be provided and conclude with a chanting of " Darlene You Filthy Cunt" from Houston Street to Whitehall Street.
Upon arriving at City Hall there will be a "Vulgar Dance Party " with live music from a popular village band "The Wild Cocksuckers" and a Jamaican buffet with food donated by a famous Soho Caribbean caterer -- "The Jerk Niggas"
Dogs and children are welcome - so come and march and strike a blow against Bullshit -- and get really Vulgar -- and enjoy!
The term is hateful and deeply sexist, said Councilwoman Darlene Mealy of Brooklyn, who has introduced a measure against the word, saying it creates “a paradigm of shame and indignity” for all women.
What's next from the word police? - Well first they banned the "N" word and now their target is the "B' word! Can you fucking believe this escalation of political correctness crap?
How about parents who call their kids stupid and fat and jerk-off and every esteem damaging reference imagine able -- no concern there -why? -because people like Darlene Mealy are politically opportunistic cuntheads.
Well were not gonna take it anymore! The Digibandit has organized a "Vulgar March" -- All defenders of free and unfettered filthy speech will meet at seven am on Saturday August 11th at central Park and Fifth Avenue.
We will march to City Hall screaming a list of obscenities that will be provided and conclude with a chanting of " Darlene You Filthy Cunt" from Houston Street to Whitehall Street.
Upon arriving at City Hall there will be a "Vulgar Dance Party " with live music from a popular village band "The Wild Cocksuckers" and a Jamaican buffet with food donated by a famous Soho Caribbean caterer -- "The Jerk Niggas"
Dogs and children are welcome - so come and march and strike a blow against Bullshit -- and get really Vulgar -- and enjoy!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
More Damning Cunt Evidence From Rudy's Wives
NY Times Editorial Today
Animal-lovers around the nation may also be interested to know that Giuliani’s second wife once asked for $1,140 a month in dog support for Goalie, the family retriever. Or that the third Mrs. Giuliani is a former saleswoman for surgical staplers — a profession that involves demonstrations of how well the product works during unnecessary surgery on dogs.
The Giuliani campaign has dodged the question of whether Judith Nathan Giuliani ever was involved in this kind of activity, which usually ends badly for the dog in question. This week a spokesman said he didn’t know, adding: “In the 1970s that was an acceptable medical technique,” which I think we can probably take for a yes.
So- do we want a man who marries women who probably belong in mental institutions -- to be walking around with a suitcase with nuclear attack codes in it?
Can world leaders - many who are now thankfully women -- respect a United States president with a cunty wife?
Sorry Rudy -- we need a leader who knows a cunt when he sees one - I'm switching to Hillary!
It takes one to know one.
Animal-lovers around the nation may also be interested to know that Giuliani’s second wife once asked for $1,140 a month in dog support for Goalie, the family retriever. Or that the third Mrs. Giuliani is a former saleswoman for surgical staplers — a profession that involves demonstrations of how well the product works during unnecessary surgery on dogs.
The Giuliani campaign has dodged the question of whether Judith Nathan Giuliani ever was involved in this kind of activity, which usually ends badly for the dog in question. This week a spokesman said he didn’t know, adding: “In the 1970s that was an acceptable medical technique,” which I think we can probably take for a yes.
So- do we want a man who marries women who probably belong in mental institutions -- to be walking around with a suitcase with nuclear attack codes in it?
Can world leaders - many who are now thankfully women -- respect a United States president with a cunty wife?
Sorry Rudy -- we need a leader who knows a cunt when he sees one - I'm switching to Hillary!
It takes one to know one.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Rudy Giuliani Married A Real Cunt
So this is the woman that Rudy left his second wife for?
"So Judith was expected to be part of the New Hampshire health care tour. But her plans seemed to have changed about the time a new Vanity Fair profile emerged, one that makes her sound like a particularly unpleasant combination of Catherine the Great and Britney Spears. The article, by Judy Bachrach, accuses her of everything from demanding a separate airplane seat for her handbag to putting her husband in harm’s way by forcing him to retrieve a bag of health bars from the hotel during a security lockdown." -- NY Times Editorial 8-2-07
So --either Judith can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch --or Rudy is deep down -- just another pussy whipped phony!
Either way he's lost my vote.
"So Judith was expected to be part of the New Hampshire health care tour. But her plans seemed to have changed about the time a new Vanity Fair profile emerged, one that makes her sound like a particularly unpleasant combination of Catherine the Great and Britney Spears. The article, by Judy Bachrach, accuses her of everything from demanding a separate airplane seat for her handbag to putting her husband in harm’s way by forcing him to retrieve a bag of health bars from the hotel during a security lockdown." -- NY Times Editorial 8-2-07
So --either Judith can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch --or Rudy is deep down -- just another pussy whipped phony!
Either way he's lost my vote.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Bandit Bulletin -- Answer To Iraqi Quagmire --North Korea
Ok -- Bush and the neocons went in and fucked up everything possible. and bullshit and incompetence and misguided ideology ruled and are still the order of the day.
We killed a ton of Innocent people and displaced all the good and competent Iraqis --and strengthened all our enemies and pissed off most of our friends and allies --and threw away billions on wasted projects -and tens of thousands of brave young Americans got wasted and mutilated.
But --But -- But a very cool thing happened! We have established a central battlefield in which to take on the asshole Jihadis and crazed Muslims -- who for whatever fucked up reasons have crawled out of their shitholes to come kill us Infidels in Iraq.
So --let's kill as many of these death worshiping youngsters as possible,as fast as possible, for as long as it takes --- ten or twenty or one-hundred years,like in Europe in the good old days. --But -- NOT with American soldiers!
What? --here's how.-- We go to Il Jong Dingdong the mad fucked up leader of North Korea and offer to pay him one dollar per soldier per day for one million of his craziest gooks!
Now --these soldiers will kill extremists 24/7 and love it just to get three squares of USA military rations. On top of that they will be warm for the first time in their lives. (and maybe we throw in some hookers for every twenty Jehad's tongues or forty balls they bring in.)
Il Jong Dingdong will love the cash and we'll even increase the supply of French cognac and hot pussy and caviar that he craves --and like i said, he won't have to pay his gook Iraqi army a dime.(and we will save a fortune and our troops can come home.)
Everyone will report to General Petraeus so things don't get out of our control and supervision because when the gooks get through we will want to "save the hearts and minds" of the two or three hundred normal Iraquis that will be left.
Pretty cool -- huh?
Oh - and if the North Koreans need some backup --we buy a shitload of crazed brothers from The Congo. (that might be too cruel though)
We killed a ton of Innocent people and displaced all the good and competent Iraqis --and strengthened all our enemies and pissed off most of our friends and allies --and threw away billions on wasted projects -and tens of thousands of brave young Americans got wasted and mutilated.
But --But -- But a very cool thing happened! We have established a central battlefield in which to take on the asshole Jihadis and crazed Muslims -- who for whatever fucked up reasons have crawled out of their shitholes to come kill us Infidels in Iraq.
So --let's kill as many of these death worshiping youngsters as possible,as fast as possible, for as long as it takes --- ten or twenty or one-hundred years,like in Europe in the good old days. --But -- NOT with American soldiers!
What? --here's how.-- We go to Il Jong Dingdong the mad fucked up leader of North Korea and offer to pay him one dollar per soldier per day for one million of his craziest gooks!
Now --these soldiers will kill extremists 24/7 and love it just to get three squares of USA military rations. On top of that they will be warm for the first time in their lives. (and maybe we throw in some hookers for every twenty Jehad's tongues or forty balls they bring in.)
Il Jong Dingdong will love the cash and we'll even increase the supply of French cognac and hot pussy and caviar that he craves --and like i said, he won't have to pay his gook Iraqi army a dime.(and we will save a fortune and our troops can come home.)
Everyone will report to General Petraeus so things don't get out of our control and supervision because when the gooks get through we will want to "save the hearts and minds" of the two or three hundred normal Iraquis that will be left.
Pretty cool -- huh?
Oh - and if the North Koreans need some backup --we buy a shitload of crazed brothers from The Congo. (that might be too cruel though)
Friday, July 27, 2007
South Koreans Should Wear Dresses
And --along with Italy who caved into a Taliban hostage threat,thus releasing the mad dog in charge of the South Korean hostage taking, should try and figure out just when and where they lost their balls.
Their response should be: "You kill our hostages and we will send one-hundred thousand of the fiercest gooks on earth over to Afghanistan."
Jesus Christ has history taught us nothing? --There should be one million troops from all over the world in Iraq and in Afghanistan -- are we going to let maniacs run roughshod over a civilized world with vast technological and manpower superiority.
Are the UK and The USA the only governments with balls left on earth?
These people are fucking serious -- it's only a matter of time before they hit with WMD -- and you want to see death and chaos and goodbye TV and shopping?
These crazy bastards need to be overwhelmed with force and rage and our own brand of no holds barred -- zero tolerance cruelty!
The fucking Italians better reread the history of the Roman Empire --these Muslim sickos make the Vandals and Goths look like punk rock bands -- and they had bows and arrows, not nuclear and biological weapons -- and they didn't like to die.
And the South Koreans should harken back to those happy days when the Japs were fucking their women and children in the ass for fun -- the Taliban make the world War Two Japs rook (ha) like girl scouts -- and it's "Oh please -- pretty please release our hostages."
Are you fucking nuts or delusional? Where are your warrior balls? --You better go and find them or islamic fascism will stick them in your mouths after they cut off your heads.
No wonder we have to keep fifty thousand American troops in South Korea to protect our pansy allies from North Korea. Maybe it's all that shitty food?
Their response should be: "You kill our hostages and we will send one-hundred thousand of the fiercest gooks on earth over to Afghanistan."
Jesus Christ has history taught us nothing? --There should be one million troops from all over the world in Iraq and in Afghanistan -- are we going to let maniacs run roughshod over a civilized world with vast technological and manpower superiority.
Are the UK and The USA the only governments with balls left on earth?
These people are fucking serious -- it's only a matter of time before they hit with WMD -- and you want to see death and chaos and goodbye TV and shopping?
These crazy bastards need to be overwhelmed with force and rage and our own brand of no holds barred -- zero tolerance cruelty!
The fucking Italians better reread the history of the Roman Empire --these Muslim sickos make the Vandals and Goths look like punk rock bands -- and they had bows and arrows, not nuclear and biological weapons -- and they didn't like to die.
And the South Koreans should harken back to those happy days when the Japs were fucking their women and children in the ass for fun -- the Taliban make the world War Two Japs rook (ha) like girl scouts -- and it's "Oh please -- pretty please release our hostages."
Are you fucking nuts or delusional? Where are your warrior balls? --You better go and find them or islamic fascism will stick them in your mouths after they cut off your heads.
No wonder we have to keep fifty thousand American troops in South Korea to protect our pansy allies from North Korea. Maybe it's all that shitty food?
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Michael Vick Eats Pit Bull Balls For His Small Dick
The Atlanta Falcons quarterback "Has the smallest dick I've has ever seen on a black man" - said Twinky Latifa, Mchael Vick's ex lover.
She told the bandit's sports reporter Elise Goldenbaum: "He's a vicious psychopath who loves to hurt innocent creatures, and especially dogs!"
Why? asked Elise -- he has every thing going for him it would seem? "So what that he is a great athlete? -- he's real good at professional violence, but what he really loves is extreme sadism. He was born with a tiny cock and he can't please a woman -- and it drives him crazy!"
Twinky continued; "When he was a young boy his grandmother told him if he ate the balls of pit bulls his cock would grow big and strong. Well his cock didn't grow and now he's all messed up -- and he blames the dogs."
"He don't stop trying though -- Sometimes he would eat a whole platter of pit bull nuts before we had sex; but when his tiny dick didn't grow he would run out to the barn and do horrible things to them poor animals"
Twinky concluded; "He needs to be locked up somewhere before he directs his rage at some innocent person!"
Elise tried to get some reaction from his fellow athletes about the size of his cock, but all they would do is smile and laugh.
She told the bandit's sports reporter Elise Goldenbaum: "He's a vicious psychopath who loves to hurt innocent creatures, and especially dogs!"
Why? asked Elise -- he has every thing going for him it would seem? "So what that he is a great athlete? -- he's real good at professional violence, but what he really loves is extreme sadism. He was born with a tiny cock and he can't please a woman -- and it drives him crazy!"
Twinky continued; "When he was a young boy his grandmother told him if he ate the balls of pit bulls his cock would grow big and strong. Well his cock didn't grow and now he's all messed up -- and he blames the dogs."
"He don't stop trying though -- Sometimes he would eat a whole platter of pit bull nuts before we had sex; but when his tiny dick didn't grow he would run out to the barn and do horrible things to them poor animals"
Twinky concluded; "He needs to be locked up somewhere before he directs his rage at some innocent person!"
Elise tried to get some reaction from his fellow athletes about the size of his cock, but all they would do is smile and laugh.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Tammy Bakker Was A Man
Tammy Faye Bakker, the diminutive and elaborately coiffed gospel singer who, with her first husband, Jim Bakker, built a commercial empire around television evangelism only to see it collapse in sex and money scandals, died Friday at her home near Kansas City, Mo. She was 65.
A secret report leaked to the bandit by an assistant in the Kansas City medical examiners office has disclosed that; "When we laid her out on the table in the morgue we all were in shock! -- She/he had a cock!
"It's always been a running joke that she looked like a drag queen but she was always ranting on about her phony religious bullshit and God hates queers and all that nasty ignorant Christian right crapola" said our secret source. "Who would have thought she was a fucking guy?"
He continued ; "And this definitely confirms what a queer wacko her husband. reverend Jim was -- you know i am now convinced that anyone who says he is a reverend should automatically be considered a sick fuck deep down."
"I wouldn't even be surprised if Reverend Billy Graham was a closet drag queen, which would explain his unusual spiritual relationship with Barbara Bush and her retarded born again son -- our president."
"I wouldn't even be shocked if when they finally lay out that old crone Barbara that she also sported a cock."
"Well,what was Tammy's cause of death?" The bandit morgue reporter asked. The Morgician replied; " I could be wrong, and we have lot's of probing to do -- but their is some evidence that her death was caused by a severe colon infection from a giant dildo vibrator that may have exploded in his asshole"
Boy --those Christan fundamentalists are wild folks!
A secret report leaked to the bandit by an assistant in the Kansas City medical examiners office has disclosed that; "When we laid her out on the table in the morgue we all were in shock! -- She/he had a cock!
"It's always been a running joke that she looked like a drag queen but she was always ranting on about her phony religious bullshit and God hates queers and all that nasty ignorant Christian right crapola" said our secret source. "Who would have thought she was a fucking guy?"
He continued ; "And this definitely confirms what a queer wacko her husband. reverend Jim was -- you know i am now convinced that anyone who says he is a reverend should automatically be considered a sick fuck deep down."
"I wouldn't even be surprised if Reverend Billy Graham was a closet drag queen, which would explain his unusual spiritual relationship with Barbara Bush and her retarded born again son -- our president."
"I wouldn't even be shocked if when they finally lay out that old crone Barbara that she also sported a cock."
"Well,what was Tammy's cause of death?" The bandit morgue reporter asked. The Morgician replied; " I could be wrong, and we have lot's of probing to do -- but their is some evidence that her death was caused by a severe colon infection from a giant dildo vibrator that may have exploded in his asshole"
Boy --those Christan fundamentalists are wild folks!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Read This First Paragraph And Then Puke
“You have to look at why sex was created,” Eric Love, the director of the East Texas Abstinence Program, which runs Virginity Rules, said one day, the sounds of Christian contemporary music humming faintly in his Longview office. “Sex was designed to bond two people together.”
To make the point, Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.
Now, you know that Eric Love would fuck a snake if it slithered across his crotch!
And this is the kind of crap message that the Bush administration is spending huge amount of our tax dollars on to stop high school kids from fucking!
If you want to stop teenagers from fucking --here is the message:
"Hi young hotty -- don't fuck any man with a weeny that's not at least ten inches long --and when you find that man --marry and worship him for the rest of your life! -- in the meantime have fun and stay busy by sucking any weeny you can get your hands on. And use a condom!"
Amen
ps -- we seriously have to consider putting all these religious nuts on a boat to the Congo.
To make the point, Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.
Now, you know that Eric Love would fuck a snake if it slithered across his crotch!
And this is the kind of crap message that the Bush administration is spending huge amount of our tax dollars on to stop high school kids from fucking!
If you want to stop teenagers from fucking --here is the message:
"Hi young hotty -- don't fuck any man with a weeny that's not at least ten inches long --and when you find that man --marry and worship him for the rest of your life! -- in the meantime have fun and stay busy by sucking any weeny you can get your hands on. And use a condom!"
Amen
ps -- we seriously have to consider putting all these religious nuts on a boat to the Congo.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Pope Should Apologize For Ass Fucking By Priests -- And A Special Message From The Digibandit
A day after agreeing to a record $660 million settlement with 508 victims of sexual abuse by members of the clergy in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, Cardinal Roger Mahony apologized to the victims for “this terrible sin and crime” and said he hoped the settlement would bring a “final resolution."
This horror story is probably a good time to address what people say to me on a regular basis; "You know bandit -- by being so extreme with your filthy language you transcend the basic parameters of satire and fall into unfocused pique and undisciplined and ignorant rage!" - I made that up --what they say is ;"You are a foul mouthed angry Jew!
Well, let's get some things straight!
The point of my linguistic extremism is that there is some behavior - (like religio child molestation and terrorism), for example, that does not deserve the blessing of dignified conversation -- or the validation of ANY form of normative discussion. Such behavior needs to be isolated in the context of it's "outrage" and wrapped in a syntax commensurrate with it's cruel and sick pathology -- with absolute zero tolerence for it's existence. -- The narrative equivalent of squashing a bug!
Yes indeedy, there is a desperate need to empirically analyze and evaluate the root causes of vicious and nihilistic human behavior and to gain understanding and devise treatment options and discuss these matters in a non barbaric context;-- but -- the survival of our loved ones depends on absolute ground level clarity and an immediate response to the enemies at hand - commensurate with their immediate threat level!
Example; -- the fucking Cardinal's apology for ruining innocent kids through predatory and brutally deviate sex -- administered by trusted priests -- ain't worth shit! The Pope should crawl on his belly to a microphone and beg for forgiveness and open up the whole ridiculous Church doctrine to some fresh thinking. And until there are enough Christians with enough brains and balls to see through the deviates that control the Vatican --and cry out "enough you anachronistic power mad cocksuckers" -- children will be fucked in the ass and scarred for life by homo priests.
So you see how inflammatory language ( i feel better already) might work to inspire action? -- Think of Tom Paine's "Common Sense" which inspired the American Revolution -- and think of the digibandit as "Fucking Common Sense!" As adapted for present dangers; where our enemies are not three thousand miles away with muskets and cannons -- but hours away with weapons of mass destruction and taking their orders from a violent God promising them Paradise in return for slaughtering our children and grandmothers. --- And in our local parishes where your local homo vicar is trying to use god to fuck little Johnny up his asshole.
Well, my friends --unless we all get a lot angrier at all this crap and call a spade a spade and cut out all the pc crapolo ; -- the politicians and bad guys are gonna keep getting away with murder! And, if you just keep shopping and watching TV and having fun and games as usual -- and wait for some literate well mannered politician to save your stupid fucking asses -- and don't jump into the game -- well -- "Just you wait Henry Higgins --Just you wait -- you'll be sorry but your tears will come too late ("My Fair Lady --the Musical)
My dog is named Liza,after the orphan girl, Liza Doolitle, in that musical, and i'm going up into the mountains with her above the Hollywood Hills, as usual, and say a fucking prayer to whatever asshole created us -- because this ain't no fucking Musical!
Oh -- and the Pope is an ignorant medieval cocksucker!
This horror story is probably a good time to address what people say to me on a regular basis; "You know bandit -- by being so extreme with your filthy language you transcend the basic parameters of satire and fall into unfocused pique and undisciplined and ignorant rage!" - I made that up --what they say is ;"You are a foul mouthed angry Jew!
Well, let's get some things straight!
The point of my linguistic extremism is that there is some behavior - (like religio child molestation and terrorism), for example, that does not deserve the blessing of dignified conversation -- or the validation of ANY form of normative discussion. Such behavior needs to be isolated in the context of it's "outrage" and wrapped in a syntax commensurrate with it's cruel and sick pathology -- with absolute zero tolerence for it's existence. -- The narrative equivalent of squashing a bug!
Yes indeedy, there is a desperate need to empirically analyze and evaluate the root causes of vicious and nihilistic human behavior and to gain understanding and devise treatment options and discuss these matters in a non barbaric context;-- but -- the survival of our loved ones depends on absolute ground level clarity and an immediate response to the enemies at hand - commensurate with their immediate threat level!
Example; -- the fucking Cardinal's apology for ruining innocent kids through predatory and brutally deviate sex -- administered by trusted priests -- ain't worth shit! The Pope should crawl on his belly to a microphone and beg for forgiveness and open up the whole ridiculous Church doctrine to some fresh thinking. And until there are enough Christians with enough brains and balls to see through the deviates that control the Vatican --and cry out "enough you anachronistic power mad cocksuckers" -- children will be fucked in the ass and scarred for life by homo priests.
So you see how inflammatory language ( i feel better already) might work to inspire action? -- Think of Tom Paine's "Common Sense" which inspired the American Revolution -- and think of the digibandit as "Fucking Common Sense!" As adapted for present dangers; where our enemies are not three thousand miles away with muskets and cannons -- but hours away with weapons of mass destruction and taking their orders from a violent God promising them Paradise in return for slaughtering our children and grandmothers. --- And in our local parishes where your local homo vicar is trying to use god to fuck little Johnny up his asshole.
Well, my friends --unless we all get a lot angrier at all this crap and call a spade a spade and cut out all the pc crapolo ; -- the politicians and bad guys are gonna keep getting away with murder! And, if you just keep shopping and watching TV and having fun and games as usual -- and wait for some literate well mannered politician to save your stupid fucking asses -- and don't jump into the game -- well -- "Just you wait Henry Higgins --Just you wait -- you'll be sorry but your tears will come too late ("My Fair Lady --the Musical)
My dog is named Liza,after the orphan girl, Liza Doolitle, in that musical, and i'm going up into the mountains with her above the Hollywood Hills, as usual, and say a fucking prayer to whatever asshole created us -- because this ain't no fucking Musical!
Oh -- and the Pope is an ignorant medieval cocksucker!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Muslim Extremism Due To Lack OFCelebrities -- Says New Study
Doctor Menschel Weintraub, director of social neuroscience at the Institute For The Study Of Social Dystopia, in West Hollywood , California, announced: "We have compelling evidence that Arab Muslims are suffering significant mental trauma from a complete lack of "Celebrity" in their culture!"
"And we are not talking about their worshiping human throwbacks like the Ayatolah Khomeini -- or other such tyrants -- as replacements for Victoria Beckham or Paris Hilton or Lyndsay Lohan -- who keep America's masses distracted from their pitiful lives."
He continued; "If you basically dislike your work and wife and even yourself, and if life basically sucks ; -- Is a picture on your living room wall of an angry old smelly Mullah going to relieve your distress?"
"Nope -- the Romans knew exactly how to relieve the ignorant masses from their anxiety -- extreme sports and extreme violence and extreme displays of pussy! And just to insure that no one got to focused on the shit of their daily lives -- they always had plenty of booze available and lot's of military conquests going on."
"If the masses of ignorant American's did not have their celebrities they would be in fucking misery --And that's with all the bling and gadgets and shit food and all the other mindless diversions to which they have access and persue like commercial gluttons."
He continued; "Now the Arab extremists haven't had a cultural success story in over a thousand years. They are broke - exploited by their own leaders -- have no clue about pussy -- virtually no art or literature -- their TV and sports are a joke -- zero laughs -- drink fourteen cups of coffee a day -- no air conditioning -- no booze or drugs - food sucks and they have been totally marginalized militarily. ( and down deep they know we will kill them all, like cockroaches, when they piss us off enough) -- And they have NO celebrities."
Doctor Weintraub concluded; "So -- until you see a Muslim counterpart to Victoria Beckham shaking her skinny ass at The Dome of The Rock with a million Arabs screaming -- "Al matakbe valatka Mossho vlantash pooshhee ! poosshee! pooshees!" ( which means sit on my beard you hot sandy pussy in Arabic) -- the violence will continue
"And we are not talking about their worshiping human throwbacks like the Ayatolah Khomeini -- or other such tyrants -- as replacements for Victoria Beckham or Paris Hilton or Lyndsay Lohan -- who keep America's masses distracted from their pitiful lives."
He continued; "If you basically dislike your work and wife and even yourself, and if life basically sucks ; -- Is a picture on your living room wall of an angry old smelly Mullah going to relieve your distress?"
"Nope -- the Romans knew exactly how to relieve the ignorant masses from their anxiety -- extreme sports and extreme violence and extreme displays of pussy! And just to insure that no one got to focused on the shit of their daily lives -- they always had plenty of booze available and lot's of military conquests going on."
"If the masses of ignorant American's did not have their celebrities they would be in fucking misery --And that's with all the bling and gadgets and shit food and all the other mindless diversions to which they have access and persue like commercial gluttons."
He continued; "Now the Arab extremists haven't had a cultural success story in over a thousand years. They are broke - exploited by their own leaders -- have no clue about pussy -- virtually no art or literature -- their TV and sports are a joke -- zero laughs -- drink fourteen cups of coffee a day -- no air conditioning -- no booze or drugs - food sucks and they have been totally marginalized militarily. ( and down deep they know we will kill them all, like cockroaches, when they piss us off enough) -- And they have NO celebrities."
Doctor Weintraub concluded; "So -- until you see a Muslim counterpart to Victoria Beckham shaking her skinny ass at The Dome of The Rock with a million Arabs screaming -- "Al matakbe valatka Mossho vlantash pooshhee ! poosshee! pooshees!" ( which means sit on my beard you hot sandy pussy in Arabic) -- the violence will continue
Friday, July 13, 2007
Mitt Romney Says Polygamy Is The Only Way For A Happy Marriage
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who has maintained in the face of wide concern about his Mormon faith, that Mormon ideology would play no part in his policies as president -- was overheard spilling the beans to a close aide!
The bandit informant stated; "I heard Mitt say that the concept of fidelity is ridiculous and that no red blooded male should or could be expected to only fuck one woman for the rest of his life!" He said that Mitt went on a tirade as follows:
" A fat ugly Christian conservative ,which is eighty percent of them, has no shot at getting hot pussy --so it's easy for them to preach about fidelity. Wer'e talking here about guys who think grunting into a fat cow and cumming once a month is what a sex life is all about."
"Now you take attractive and rich and powerful and clever and fun guys like me -- every day there's some piece of ass throwing herself at me - these yo yo's who have no shot at hot pussy -- which they can only dream about and watch porno - have zero puusy options and they should not be judging those who do!"
"Now i want a family and a political career -- so i have to have a wife and put up a front for those corny celebrity addicted morons out there. But let's be real about it -- if a cool dude wants to have a big family does he want to have one tiresome and wornout and overburdened future hag of a wife? --- Or, does he want to have a dozen or so hot wives that maintain their pussy heat over the long haul?"
"It's just too durned bad that we can't be open and honest about these issues because i know i can do a hell of a lot of good as president. and i hate lying about my pussy philosophy -- but if i get into that oval office -- cool dudes and hot pussy will have a friendly Mormon president in the white house."
He's definitely got my vote!
The bandit informant stated; "I heard Mitt say that the concept of fidelity is ridiculous and that no red blooded male should or could be expected to only fuck one woman for the rest of his life!" He said that Mitt went on a tirade as follows:
" A fat ugly Christian conservative ,which is eighty percent of them, has no shot at getting hot pussy --so it's easy for them to preach about fidelity. Wer'e talking here about guys who think grunting into a fat cow and cumming once a month is what a sex life is all about."
"Now you take attractive and rich and powerful and clever and fun guys like me -- every day there's some piece of ass throwing herself at me - these yo yo's who have no shot at hot pussy -- which they can only dream about and watch porno - have zero puusy options and they should not be judging those who do!"
"Now i want a family and a political career -- so i have to have a wife and put up a front for those corny celebrity addicted morons out there. But let's be real about it -- if a cool dude wants to have a big family does he want to have one tiresome and wornout and overburdened future hag of a wife? --- Or, does he want to have a dozen or so hot wives that maintain their pussy heat over the long haul?"
"It's just too durned bad that we can't be open and honest about these issues because i know i can do a hell of a lot of good as president. and i hate lying about my pussy philosophy -- but if i get into that oval office -- cool dudes and hot pussy will have a friendly Mormon president in the white house."
He's definitely got my vote!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Conservative "Family Guy" Louisiana Senator Was Fucking Whores
“I’m a conservative who opposes radically redefining marriage, the most important social institution in human history,” Mr. David Vitter, a 46-year-old Republican, wrote in a letter last year to The Times-Picayune, the New Orleans daily.
That self-created image, a political winner here since 1991, when Mr. Vitter joined the Louisiana House, took a tumble Monday with the disclosure that his phone number was among those on a list of client numbers kept by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the so-called D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a prostitution ring in Washington."
"So this report in todays New York Times should come as no surprise to anyone with half a brain!" said Doctor Herschel Mandelbaum, head psychiatrist at the National Center for Male Lust, in Eugene Oregon.
"Every study that has ever been done on the male libido, and it's cognitive and physiological response to hot pussy; -- has conclusively shown that the prick has a very strong mind of it's own!"
He added; "And in the case of male religious conservatives these studies have shown that seventy percent of them will jump anything they can! The family value thing is right out the window when the one eyed monstor starts to rise -- fortunately for their families most of these bible thumpers are very unnatractive to women and have low levels of testosterone and small dicks -- otherwise they would fuck their pets!"
Dr.Mandelbaum, who is the world authority on male libidian behavior further stated; "And in the case of male politicians who espouse conservative family values -- our studies have shown with a margin of error of less then one percent, that when arroused -- they would fuck a snake!"
In conclusion the Doctor stated: " When finally caught with their peckers hanging out they always say, as in the case of Senator Vitter, -- "I am so sorry that i sinned in the past before i found the Lord --yadadadada."
"It's all bullshit! -- If a female aid winked at them seconds after their bullshit cries of contrition - they would throw her in the back of their limo and fuck her like a dog in heat!"
That self-created image, a political winner here since 1991, when Mr. Vitter joined the Louisiana House, took a tumble Monday with the disclosure that his phone number was among those on a list of client numbers kept by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the so-called D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a prostitution ring in Washington."
"So this report in todays New York Times should come as no surprise to anyone with half a brain!" said Doctor Herschel Mandelbaum, head psychiatrist at the National Center for Male Lust, in Eugene Oregon.
"Every study that has ever been done on the male libido, and it's cognitive and physiological response to hot pussy; -- has conclusively shown that the prick has a very strong mind of it's own!"
He added; "And in the case of male religious conservatives these studies have shown that seventy percent of them will jump anything they can! The family value thing is right out the window when the one eyed monstor starts to rise -- fortunately for their families most of these bible thumpers are very unnatractive to women and have low levels of testosterone and small dicks -- otherwise they would fuck their pets!"
Dr.Mandelbaum, who is the world authority on male libidian behavior further stated; "And in the case of male politicians who espouse conservative family values -- our studies have shown with a margin of error of less then one percent, that when arroused -- they would fuck a snake!"
In conclusion the Doctor stated: " When finally caught with their peckers hanging out they always say, as in the case of Senator Vitter, -- "I am so sorry that i sinned in the past before i found the Lord --yadadadada."
"It's all bullshit! -- If a female aid winked at them seconds after their bullshit cries of contrition - they would throw her in the back of their limo and fuck her like a dog in heat!"
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Barak Obama Is White Says Geneticist -- Hillary claims she's half black!
The bandit has learned from a medical source close to the Obama family that Barak became very enamored with Michael Jackson as a teenager and began to use a similar whitening pigmentation product similar to Jackson's over a prolonged period!
'He even thought about changing his name to Lance Barak" - said Dr. Maury Goldfarb. There has been no comment from the Obama camp but Hillary Clinton said in response to this amazing story: "Well, i have my own announcement to make that's quite a shocker -- i am half black! -- so how about that my brothas and sistas?"
"The Reverend Al Sharpton said: "Barak trying to pass as a honky just shows how much racial dysfunction there is in America -- next we'll find out that Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice are closet honky's too --but i'm pretty sure about Clarence Thomas and Alan Iverson
"And all the ignorant rednecks will be sittin around today in eugenics heaven" -- I can hear them now down at the shitbird cafe in Alabama having coffee after just slappin their wives around and violating their chldren ; "Yep bubba i knew them uppity negroes was part white -- well ole Strom woulda taken care of them all if it weren't for those kikes up in New York."
Rev,Sharpton concluded;"And if Hillary Clinton is half black i will eat her pussy in Macy's window!"
'He even thought about changing his name to Lance Barak" - said Dr. Maury Goldfarb. There has been no comment from the Obama camp but Hillary Clinton said in response to this amazing story: "Well, i have my own announcement to make that's quite a shocker -- i am half black! -- so how about that my brothas and sistas?"
"The Reverend Al Sharpton said: "Barak trying to pass as a honky just shows how much racial dysfunction there is in America -- next we'll find out that Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice are closet honky's too --but i'm pretty sure about Clarence Thomas and Alan Iverson
"And all the ignorant rednecks will be sittin around today in eugenics heaven" -- I can hear them now down at the shitbird cafe in Alabama having coffee after just slappin their wives around and violating their chldren ; "Yep bubba i knew them uppity negroes was part white -- well ole Strom woulda taken care of them all if it weren't for those kikes up in New York."
Rev,Sharpton concluded;"And if Hillary Clinton is half black i will eat her pussy in Macy's window!"
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Serena Williams Scared The Shit Out OF Russians At Wimbledon
Those tall leggy Russian tennis players who Serena Williams defeated at Wimbledon complained to the British Tennis Society today; "I was constantly afraid that she would rip through the net and trample me like a giant black Rhinocerous" said Elenya Smyrynosposkayovich after losing to Williams ,whose nickname is Gevaltnegtuckismaya --which means "A giant black ass rolling down a hill" in Russian.
The head of the British safety committee said they were going to install special tennis nets with safety features to prevent Serena from ploughing right on through when she thunders up to the net; "Our tests have shown, said Sir Arthur Cornwitz, that a woman of her size -- with those enormous buttocks and ham hocks and traveling at high speed with those huge black breasts thrusting out like twin battering rams -- could plow through the standard net and take out not only her opponent, but the line referee -- two or three ball retrievers and approximately seven spectators in the first row of the center court."
He continued; "We approached the head of engineering for the Royal Navy and they have devised a protective system similar to the ones used on British aircraft carriers to stop our planes from crashing through and into the ocean -- but Admiral Sir Meyer Pinsky Captain of the battle carrier HMS Horatio Nelson expressed his concern; "Having seen the thrusting power of this amazing amazon on the courts -- I'm not sure if the jet nets will hold her."
When confronted with the dilemma Serena said; "Yep --the only thing that might hold me back is those big fine loin chops of maybe Shaq O'Neal? -- and i wouldn't bet on it if i was you --butt (heh heh) i sure would like to test his burly black ass!"
The head of the British safety committee said they were going to install special tennis nets with safety features to prevent Serena from ploughing right on through when she thunders up to the net; "Our tests have shown, said Sir Arthur Cornwitz, that a woman of her size -- with those enormous buttocks and ham hocks and traveling at high speed with those huge black breasts thrusting out like twin battering rams -- could plow through the standard net and take out not only her opponent, but the line referee -- two or three ball retrievers and approximately seven spectators in the first row of the center court."
He continued; "We approached the head of engineering for the Royal Navy and they have devised a protective system similar to the ones used on British aircraft carriers to stop our planes from crashing through and into the ocean -- but Admiral Sir Meyer Pinsky Captain of the battle carrier HMS Horatio Nelson expressed his concern; "Having seen the thrusting power of this amazing amazon on the courts -- I'm not sure if the jet nets will hold her."
When confronted with the dilemma Serena said; "Yep --the only thing that might hold me back is those big fine loin chops of maybe Shaq O'Neal? -- and i wouldn't bet on it if i was you --butt (heh heh) i sure would like to test his burly black ass!"
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Drunken Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Say's America's Black Slaves Were Lucky Ones
Clarence Thomas set off some fireworks at a fourth of july cocktail party when in a drunken rage he screamed; "The blacks are always saying i'm an uncle Tom and a disgrace to my race because i don't manipulate the power of the constitution to save their lazy black asses!"
A guest at the party said he ranted on and on;"These are the same type of niggas who picked on me as a kid for being too black, and then later said i was a traitor for marrying a white woman --they just a bunch of drug addicts and ignorant loafers who are damn lucky to have gotten the hell out of that shithole Africa -- compliments of the slave trade."
Thomas who was confirmed by the slimmest margin in history (one vote) to the Supreme Court, after reports surfaced about his love of pornography and sexual harrassment of his law school colleague Anita Hill; has taken every opportunity as a justice to block affirmative action on behalf of minorities and has been a staunch conservative and strict constructionist -- in lock step with Anthony Scalia.
"Seventy five percent of the blacks who were shipped out of Africa as slaves would have died of aids or someother nasty tropical disease -- or been killed by some other murderous nigger -- or been eaten by a crocodile or whatever else kind of stinking creature what lives in their rotten filthy jungles!" -- he ranted, -- and when his white wife tried to calm him down he shouted at her; "Shut up you white whore - when we get home i'll drive my Anaconda (a huge black snake) up your butt!"
"Those blackass liberals like Rev Sharpton would probably have had their nuts cut off by some wabboongi or Tutu or Hutu or You Tu, instead of getting to make excuses for niggas who leave their families and do dope and crime instead of getting educated and working to survive against all odds - like me."
The anonymous party guest stated; "He was really drunk and pissed off about the article that leaked out on digibandit.com about his beating off under his robe while in judicial hearings --and that being the reason he has never asked a question from the bench."
He yelled ''Some lousy nigger leaked that story to the bandit -- a no good motherfucker who just wants everything handed to him on a silver platter -- maybe these dumb fucks should pay back the USA for getting their relatives out of that shithole deathtrap of a black continent where they would have starved their black asses to death instead of eating themselves into diabetes and hypertension and obesity at Mc Donalds!"
When chief justice John Roberts got wind of the drunken incident with his associate he said; "Oh ,heh heh heh -- ole Clarence was just letting off a little July Fourth steam -- that's just part of the good old American spirit and tradition --heh heh heh!"
Happy Holiday!
A guest at the party said he ranted on and on;"These are the same type of niggas who picked on me as a kid for being too black, and then later said i was a traitor for marrying a white woman --they just a bunch of drug addicts and ignorant loafers who are damn lucky to have gotten the hell out of that shithole Africa -- compliments of the slave trade."
Thomas who was confirmed by the slimmest margin in history (one vote) to the Supreme Court, after reports surfaced about his love of pornography and sexual harrassment of his law school colleague Anita Hill; has taken every opportunity as a justice to block affirmative action on behalf of minorities and has been a staunch conservative and strict constructionist -- in lock step with Anthony Scalia.
"Seventy five percent of the blacks who were shipped out of Africa as slaves would have died of aids or someother nasty tropical disease -- or been killed by some other murderous nigger -- or been eaten by a crocodile or whatever else kind of stinking creature what lives in their rotten filthy jungles!" -- he ranted, -- and when his white wife tried to calm him down he shouted at her; "Shut up you white whore - when we get home i'll drive my Anaconda (a huge black snake) up your butt!"
"Those blackass liberals like Rev Sharpton would probably have had their nuts cut off by some wabboongi or Tutu or Hutu or You Tu, instead of getting to make excuses for niggas who leave their families and do dope and crime instead of getting educated and working to survive against all odds - like me."
The anonymous party guest stated; "He was really drunk and pissed off about the article that leaked out on digibandit.com about his beating off under his robe while in judicial hearings --and that being the reason he has never asked a question from the bench."
He yelled ''Some lousy nigger leaked that story to the bandit -- a no good motherfucker who just wants everything handed to him on a silver platter -- maybe these dumb fucks should pay back the USA for getting their relatives out of that shithole deathtrap of a black continent where they would have starved their black asses to death instead of eating themselves into diabetes and hypertension and obesity at Mc Donalds!"
When chief justice John Roberts got wind of the drunken incident with his associate he said; "Oh ,heh heh heh -- ole Clarence was just letting off a little July Fourth steam -- that's just part of the good old American spirit and tradition --heh heh heh!"
Happy Holiday!
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Israeli's Develop Shit Seeking Missile -- to Target Stinking Muslim Extremist
The Pentagon announced today that ; " The Israeli's have made a breakthrough in weapon's technology that will enable us to target,with shitpoint accuracy, the assholes (literally) that are our worst enemies in the war on terror.
"General Moishe Pipick of the Israeli Defense Agency said in Tel Aviv today;"These people stink to begin with -- very limited water -- it's hot and they wear those huge robes and fucking stupid hats and no toilets or toilet paper and they eat crappy food -- oy my gutt vey is mere" ."Well anyway", he continued, 'Now we have the leaders on the run and they really stink -- and the smell is mixed with explosives and munitions residue and some camel shit and some of their stinky wives stuff -- and we have been able to scientifically isolate these "fundamental shit molecules" -- and have created a guidance system that will deliver a payload (oye a pun) right into Osama's bung hole or any other asshole targets of major importance.
If i were Al ZaWeirdy or Moktr Al whatever his fucking stupid name is i would get a teflon ashhole transplant -- because their constipation problems are over -- oh, and Admadinejahd better wipe his ass really well or the only nuclear explosion he will experience is his colon sailing over France."Israeli Prime Minister Olmert said; "General Pipick got a little carried away (oops) but it's just that we are so very proud of this achievement and for supplying these weapons to our great allies and friends in America -- we have even named the missile "God's Tuchas Hammer", which we thought would please our religious fundamentalist friends in your great country .
"President Bush announced with glee: "The Jews can solve anything for a buck." -- "That's Democracy!"
"General Moishe Pipick of the Israeli Defense Agency said in Tel Aviv today;"These people stink to begin with -- very limited water -- it's hot and they wear those huge robes and fucking stupid hats and no toilets or toilet paper and they eat crappy food -- oy my gutt vey is mere" ."Well anyway", he continued, 'Now we have the leaders on the run and they really stink -- and the smell is mixed with explosives and munitions residue and some camel shit and some of their stinky wives stuff -- and we have been able to scientifically isolate these "fundamental shit molecules" -- and have created a guidance system that will deliver a payload (oye a pun) right into Osama's bung hole or any other asshole targets of major importance.
If i were Al ZaWeirdy or Moktr Al whatever his fucking stupid name is i would get a teflon ashhole transplant -- because their constipation problems are over -- oh, and Admadinejahd better wipe his ass really well or the only nuclear explosion he will experience is his colon sailing over France."Israeli Prime Minister Olmert said; "General Pipick got a little carried away (oops) but it's just that we are so very proud of this achievement and for supplying these weapons to our great allies and friends in America -- we have even named the missile "God's Tuchas Hammer", which we thought would please our religious fundamentalist friends in your great country .
"President Bush announced with glee: "The Jews can solve anything for a buck." -- "That's Democracy!"
Thursday, June 28, 2007
"Anne Coulter Looks Like Shit Naked" -Says Ex Boy Friend
Meyer Goldfat,Coulter's high school sweetheart said: "The reason she's turned into such a vicious sour apple and man hating cunt, is that she has not been laid since we broke up in i982!"
"I only srewed her once after the senior high graduation party -- she was wasted on booze and vi-codeine and actually she looked so ugly naked that i just rolled her over and stuck it up her corn hole", said Goldfat.
She is really frustrated, and all the cool guys in college she wanted to fuck just made fun of her. (her nickname was "Annie rottencrotch") Most of them were idealistic and liberal and that's the reason she hates Democrats with such a passion."
He continued;"One guy in particular, who she was really hot for, looked like a clone of presidential candidate John Edwards; and he was really brutal in his rejection -- he would put poems all over "Annie smelly rotten crotch -- kicks the ugly up a notch,"
So, said Goldblatt, "You can see why she hates John Edwards!" He added, "I kind of feel sorry for her, but the truth is she was a rotton vicious cunt even as a child -- she was a ball breaker in kindergarten -- just a natural born cunt!"
"I only srewed her once after the senior high graduation party -- she was wasted on booze and vi-codeine and actually she looked so ugly naked that i just rolled her over and stuck it up her corn hole", said Goldfat.
She is really frustrated, and all the cool guys in college she wanted to fuck just made fun of her. (her nickname was "Annie rottencrotch") Most of them were idealistic and liberal and that's the reason she hates Democrats with such a passion."
He continued;"One guy in particular, who she was really hot for, looked like a clone of presidential candidate John Edwards; and he was really brutal in his rejection -- he would put poems all over "Annie smelly rotten crotch -- kicks the ugly up a notch,"
So, said Goldblatt, "You can see why she hates John Edwards!" He added, "I kind of feel sorry for her, but the truth is she was a rotton vicious cunt even as a child -- she was a ball breaker in kindergarten -- just a natural born cunt!"
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