PESHAWAR, Pakistan — Every night around 8 o’clock, the terrified residents of Swat, a lush and picturesque valley a hundred miles from three of Pakistan’s most important cities, crowd around their radios. They know that failure to listen and learn might lead to a lashing — or a beheading.
.
Using a portable radio transmitter, a local Taliban leader, Shah Doran, on most nights outlines newly proscribed “un-Islamic” activities in Swat, like selling DVDs, watching cable television, singing and dancing, criticizing the Taliban, shaving beards and allowing girls to attend school. He also reveals names of people the Taliban have recently killed for violating their decrees — and those they plan to kill.
I just hope there aren't any Aliens listening to these broadcasts or the Earth is toast!
And who would blame them? - Most of the so called civilized countries of the world (like Germany and France) -won't even send combat troops to help eradicate these fuckers.
Can you imagine the pain these local villagers are enduring 24/7?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obama Proposes "Fat Tax" To Reduce Carbon Emissions
Obama said today – at a press conference - “Ok you tubby citizens – and that includes my dear porky pal Oprah and my big butted wife (heh heh) – Cut down on the rice – or pay the price”
“Put down the fork or pay for your pork!”
He continued saying I am very serious about this issue because:
“You can toss your empty soda cans in the recycle bin instead of the garbage, saving energy and reducing landfill. Or you can wear hemp clothes and drive a hybrid car plastered with bumper stickers requesting the salvation of everything from owls to dust mites.
There are lots of little ways to go green, but if you really want to help save the Earth, you can start by dropping a few pounds.
There's an old joke about a mother telling her son to finish the food on his plate because there are starving children in Africa. The smart-aleck's response is, "Got a stamp?"
What's not a joke is that there is a finite amount of food in the world, and it is growing scarce. Recent food riots Haiti, Sudan, Yemen, Mexico, Egypt, and other countries are a stark reminder that many people do not have enough to eat. The cost of staple foods such as corn, rice, and wheat are at record highs across the globe, and some can't afford to feed their families.
Meanwhile in the United States, obesity is at an all-time high; two-thirds of adults in the Land of Plenty are overweight or obese. Obesity is perhaps the ultimate symbol of resource consumption; it's visible proof that overweight people already has more than they need—and take more anyway.
The causes of food shortages are varied and complex, but if Americans simply ate less food, there would be more for the rest of world. By some estimates, the average American consumes about 4,000 calories per day; that's twice what they need. Those 2,000 fewer calories would be available for those who truly need the food, and help to conserve Earth's natural resources.
Overweight people create more air pollution than thin people do. It's simple physics: Extra pounds translate into extra fuel in automobiles and airplanes. Extra fuel means increased energy usage, oil drilling, and air pollution.
A 2004 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that for every ten pounds gained by the average American, airlines burned 350 million more gallons of fuel to carry the additional weight. That fuel spewed an estimated 3.8 million extra tons of carbon dioxide into the air.
And as for that smaller hybrid car? It's a good start, but there's not much point in buying fuel-efficient vehicles if you're going to fill that large seat with your extra-large butt; you might as well throw a few sandbags in the trunk. Fuel efficiency drops dramatically with more weight the engine has to pull; the lighter you are, the less gas you burn, the more money you save, and the less pollution you emit.
Of course, going green by going lean is easier said than done, and only part of the problem. But by getting ourselves healthier we also help save the planet. Not a bad deal.”
"God Bless all your fat asses.”
“Put down the fork or pay for your pork!”
He continued saying I am very serious about this issue because:
“You can toss your empty soda cans in the recycle bin instead of the garbage, saving energy and reducing landfill. Or you can wear hemp clothes and drive a hybrid car plastered with bumper stickers requesting the salvation of everything from owls to dust mites.
There are lots of little ways to go green, but if you really want to help save the Earth, you can start by dropping a few pounds.
There's an old joke about a mother telling her son to finish the food on his plate because there are starving children in Africa. The smart-aleck's response is, "Got a stamp?"
What's not a joke is that there is a finite amount of food in the world, and it is growing scarce. Recent food riots Haiti, Sudan, Yemen, Mexico, Egypt, and other countries are a stark reminder that many people do not have enough to eat. The cost of staple foods such as corn, rice, and wheat are at record highs across the globe, and some can't afford to feed their families.
Meanwhile in the United States, obesity is at an all-time high; two-thirds of adults in the Land of Plenty are overweight or obese. Obesity is perhaps the ultimate symbol of resource consumption; it's visible proof that overweight people already has more than they need—and take more anyway.
The causes of food shortages are varied and complex, but if Americans simply ate less food, there would be more for the rest of world. By some estimates, the average American consumes about 4,000 calories per day; that's twice what they need. Those 2,000 fewer calories would be available for those who truly need the food, and help to conserve Earth's natural resources.
Overweight people create more air pollution than thin people do. It's simple physics: Extra pounds translate into extra fuel in automobiles and airplanes. Extra fuel means increased energy usage, oil drilling, and air pollution.
A 2004 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that for every ten pounds gained by the average American, airlines burned 350 million more gallons of fuel to carry the additional weight. That fuel spewed an estimated 3.8 million extra tons of carbon dioxide into the air.
And as for that smaller hybrid car? It's a good start, but there's not much point in buying fuel-efficient vehicles if you're going to fill that large seat with your extra-large butt; you might as well throw a few sandbags in the trunk. Fuel efficiency drops dramatically with more weight the engine has to pull; the lighter you are, the less gas you burn, the more money you save, and the less pollution you emit.
Of course, going green by going lean is easier said than done, and only part of the problem. But by getting ourselves healthier we also help save the planet. Not a bad deal.”
"God Bless all your fat asses.”
People In Texas Have Smaller Brains - Study Proves
The chairman of the Texas school board, Dr. Don McLeroy, a dentist, pushed in 2003 for a more skeptical version of evolution to be presented in the state’s textbooks, but could not get a majority to vote with him. Dr. McLeroy has said he does not believe in Darwin’s theory and thinks that Earth’s appearance is a recent geologic event, thousands of years old, not 4.5 billion as scientists contend.
"Texan's voted for this jerk to run their schools! -They have the highest number of execution convictions overturned by the Supreme Court - The highest number of executions - the most guns per capita - the most animal killers (hunters) - the most smokers and obesity cases per capita -the most cases of domestic violence and rape and forced sodomy in the nation - the highest rate of alcoholism and drug addiction - the most "in-closet" numbers of homosexuals - the highest number of felons per capita and cases of hate crimes - they lead the world in arson and murder and felony assaults per capita - and they have the most Christian Fundamendalists and churchgoers of any other state. - and more prescriptions for mental illness problems are prescribed than anywhere on earth - and they have the lowest reading and math scores in America - and they have the lowest number of Jews per capita."
So said Dr. Moishe pipick of the World Research Foundation who concluded:
'There is obviously something in the Texan culture that inhibits normal brain functioning. -- Genetically speaking - these folks are not all there!"
"Texan's voted for this jerk to run their schools! -They have the highest number of execution convictions overturned by the Supreme Court - The highest number of executions - the most guns per capita - the most animal killers (hunters) - the most smokers and obesity cases per capita -the most cases of domestic violence and rape and forced sodomy in the nation - the highest rate of alcoholism and drug addiction - the most "in-closet" numbers of homosexuals - the highest number of felons per capita and cases of hate crimes - they lead the world in arson and murder and felony assaults per capita - and they have the most Christian Fundamendalists and churchgoers of any other state. - and more prescriptions for mental illness problems are prescribed than anywhere on earth - and they have the lowest reading and math scores in America - and they have the lowest number of Jews per capita."
So said Dr. Moishe pipick of the World Research Foundation who concluded:
'There is obviously something in the Texan culture that inhibits normal brain functioning. -- Genetically speaking - these folks are not all there!"
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Obama's Ratings Plunge After Crybaby Speech
Trying to emulate Winston Churchill with a speech that asked us all to man the barricades against the doom and utter gloom and forces of destruction at our doorsteps landed on mostly deaf ears because while a ton of people are in a financial shithole:
We are not in the midst of a blitkreig or even a plain old blitz - running for cover as the bombs annihilate our neighbors and neighborhood.
That will probably come later but for now "Hey my fellow Americans - i know many of you are having severe money problems - but it's only money - i mean it's not like bad x rays - wer'e gonna fix this - so buck up and cut down as best you can - and eat a lot of governmentcheese ."
Would have sufficed! - I mean the average American listening to Obama's histrionics yesterday would have been more uplifted by reading Cormac McCarthy's latest novel - or watching "Mad Max Superdome"
Anyway - his numbers dropped from a positive 72 percent down to a 61 - and at that rate folks will be crying for the calm strength and ballsy leadership of Bush/Cheney before the years out.
I mean - it's only money - what a pussy - keep your powder dry Obama!
Your'e gonna need it!
When the shit really hits the fan!
We are not in the midst of a blitkreig or even a plain old blitz - running for cover as the bombs annihilate our neighbors and neighborhood.
That will probably come later but for now "Hey my fellow Americans - i know many of you are having severe money problems - but it's only money - i mean it's not like bad x rays - wer'e gonna fix this - so buck up and cut down as best you can - and eat a lot of governmentcheese ."
Would have sufficed! - I mean the average American listening to Obama's histrionics yesterday would have been more uplifted by reading Cormac McCarthy's latest novel - or watching "Mad Max Superdome"
Anyway - his numbers dropped from a positive 72 percent down to a 61 - and at that rate folks will be crying for the calm strength and ballsy leadership of Bush/Cheney before the years out.
I mean - it's only money - what a pussy - keep your powder dry Obama!
Your'e gonna need it!
When the shit really hits the fan!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Gazan's Celebrate Huge Victory - Congratulations You Morons
Israel and Hamas both ceased fire on Sunday, after an offensive that claimed the lives of some 1,300 Palestinians, according to Gaza health officials, and 13 Israelis. The last of Israel's ground troops were expected to pull out of Gaza on Tuesday if the quiet holds, defense officials said.
The first estimates by independent surveyors said Gaza lost nearly $2 billion in assets, including 4,100 homes, about 1,500 factories and workshops, 20 mosques, 31 security compounds, and 10 water or sewage lines. Shattered glass and mounds of rubble littered city streets.
"With full trust and full confidence I say the Palestinian people and the heroic resistance have won this battle," Mushir al-Masri, a Hamas official, said Monday. "Hamas today is stronger than any time before. ... The loser is the occupation."
But the owner of a coffee stand located near the Gaza City rally criticized the festivities, given the steep Palestinian death toll.
"We can't talk about real victory because there were thousands of martyrs and we didn't liberate anything," said Jawdat Abu Nahel. "It's no time for a parade."
Hey asshole! -You voted for them - and just wait till their next big victory?
The first estimates by independent surveyors said Gaza lost nearly $2 billion in assets, including 4,100 homes, about 1,500 factories and workshops, 20 mosques, 31 security compounds, and 10 water or sewage lines. Shattered glass and mounds of rubble littered city streets.
"With full trust and full confidence I say the Palestinian people and the heroic resistance have won this battle," Mushir al-Masri, a Hamas official, said Monday. "Hamas today is stronger than any time before. ... The loser is the occupation."
But the owner of a coffee stand located near the Gaza City rally criticized the festivities, given the steep Palestinian death toll.
"We can't talk about real victory because there were thousands of martyrs and we didn't liberate anything," said Jawdat Abu Nahel. "It's no time for a parade."
Hey asshole! -You voted for them - and just wait till their next big victory?
Friday, January 16, 2009
US State Department Women Barred From Sex With Bill Clinton
Secretary of State hillary Clinton is requiring that all State Department female employees -under the age of thirty nine sign an agrrement that they will "Not have sex with Bill Clinton."
Secretary Clinton announced;" You know my Bill - he would fuck a snake - and there are a lot of great looking potential "Monica's" running around over here."
"I'm just not taking ANY chances. -Bill seems to have gotten a grip on his libido - but i'm just taking out some insurance - we don't want to find him fucking some wide eyed State Department intern on my watch."
She concluded; "Oh - and i have made it crystal clear to all the young hotties around here -that blow and hand jobs qualify as "Sex"
"Oh and if i catch him fucking some foreign head of state - his balls are history!"
Secretary Clinton announced;" You know my Bill - he would fuck a snake - and there are a lot of great looking potential "Monica's" running around over here."
"I'm just not taking ANY chances. -Bill seems to have gotten a grip on his libido - but i'm just taking out some insurance - we don't want to find him fucking some wide eyed State Department intern on my watch."
She concluded; "Oh - and i have made it crystal clear to all the young hotties around here -that blow and hand jobs qualify as "Sex"
"Oh and if i catch him fucking some foreign head of state - his balls are history!"
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Fox Tv Announces"'Dinner With The Madoff's"
Bernie Madoff turns chef in Fox TV's new cooking show -in which Bernie Madoff will prepare dinner for a group of his investors who he defrauded out of millions.
Fov TV President Meyer Schlocky said today: 'Bernie is an excellent cook and he and his wife are known for giving elegant dinner parties at their Manhattan penthouse (where Bernie is confined on bail) - and they will really roll out the red carpet for some of those investors who got screwed big time in his 70 billion dollar ponzi fraud."
Schlocker went on; " There will be lot's of celebrity guests and some really cool entertainment - and we expect everyone to have a real great evening - and the audience will get to know Bernie as more than just a crook - because he really is a nice guy and feels really bad about what happened."
"Oh" - said Schlocker; "And we will also invite some of his many fans from all over the globe - you know - thousands of decent folks made a ton of money with Bernie over the years - and if it wasn't for the housing collapse he could have gone on making people rich and richer for who knows how long?"
"And - all the profits he earns from the show will go to the families of people he screwed."
Fov TV President Meyer Schlocky said today: 'Bernie is an excellent cook and he and his wife are known for giving elegant dinner parties at their Manhattan penthouse (where Bernie is confined on bail) - and they will really roll out the red carpet for some of those investors who got screwed big time in his 70 billion dollar ponzi fraud."
Schlocker went on; " There will be lot's of celebrity guests and some really cool entertainment - and we expect everyone to have a real great evening - and the audience will get to know Bernie as more than just a crook - because he really is a nice guy and feels really bad about what happened."
"Oh" - said Schlocker; "And we will also invite some of his many fans from all over the globe - you know - thousands of decent folks made a ton of money with Bernie over the years - and if it wasn't for the housing collapse he could have gone on making people rich and richer for who knows how long?"
"And - all the profits he earns from the show will go to the families of people he screwed."
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Israel Dropping Corned beef and Pastrami Sandwiches Over Gaza
Israel has begun what they are calling "Operation Heartburn."
They are dropping tens of thousands of vacum sealed -fresh and hot - packages containing delicious kosher cornbeef and pastrami sandwiches on rye bread with mustard - to the hungry citizens of the gaza strip. (with kosher pickles)
When Homer Bigler head of The Red Cross in the area praised the Israelis for their largesse - he was told by an israeli Government spokesman for the operation:
"Hey look - these people are starving - and when they gobble up those delicious fatty sandwiches on empty stomachs they are all going to get a severe case of the shits and severe stomach cramps - and they will be extremely thirsty -and they have very little water."
"And - it's very hard to fire a rocket when you are shitting your brains out and are severely dehydrated - so this is not exactly a humanitarian effort on our part." - said the spokesman.
"But - those sandwiches will taste awfully good going down!"
"And -they are nutritious!"
"Want to try one."
They are dropping tens of thousands of vacum sealed -fresh and hot - packages containing delicious kosher cornbeef and pastrami sandwiches on rye bread with mustard - to the hungry citizens of the gaza strip. (with kosher pickles)
When Homer Bigler head of The Red Cross in the area praised the Israelis for their largesse - he was told by an israeli Government spokesman for the operation:
"Hey look - these people are starving - and when they gobble up those delicious fatty sandwiches on empty stomachs they are all going to get a severe case of the shits and severe stomach cramps - and they will be extremely thirsty -and they have very little water."
"And - it's very hard to fire a rocket when you are shitting your brains out and are severely dehydrated - so this is not exactly a humanitarian effort on our part." - said the spokesman.
"But - those sandwiches will taste awfully good going down!"
"And -they are nutritious!"
"Want to try one."
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Israeli Nuclear Sub Captain Speaks Out
Captain Moishe Pipick of the Nuclear Submarine -"The Big Latke" told one of his buddies who commands an American Sub today:
"You know what's really gonna piss me off about taking out most of the Arab countries if they strike us on a large scale?"
"What, Moishe" said the American Nuke commander.
"All these fucking fanaticks are gonna smile just as their turning into flaming smores."
He went on; "And fifty sixty million innocent people are going to join them because the civilized world just didn' get it! - I mean the Russians tried to put nukes ninety miles off your coast and Kennedy was ready to light up the world over that - but here we are surrounded by nut cases who can't wait to annihilate us - and their working on it 24/7 -and when we go about having to keep them under control - to stop them from building their arsenals right next door to us - they scream that wer'e fucking murderers!."
"Captain Pipick continued: "I mean they don't need nukes - just some longer range missiles and poof - goodbye Israel as we know it."
"If the major powers don't get together and collectively put a net over these animals it's definitely going to happen! - we will have to destroy them first!" said Pipick.
"Can you imagine if THEY had or if they acquire anything near our military capabilities what they would do? - These fucks don't live in or care about THIS world - it holds nothing for them."
The American captain said; "Yep Moishe - there's lot's of fine folks over there but the Mullahs have got them by the balls - oh and can you imagine what China or Russia would do if they were in your shoes?"
"Yeah" replied Captain Pipick -"jJust look at Chechnya for example - the Russkies turned those Muslims into slaves - they practically wiped em out and these fucking Arabs didn't say boo! - or any body else for that matter."
"And" said the American -"They killed millions of Muslims in Darfur -and not a peep from the Arabs - and we saved their Muslim asses in Bosnia and Croatia - and not a word of thanks."
Pipick concluded: "Yeah -it's all about the Jews and ALL the Infidels -it's a fucking shame! - It's gonna be the biggest fucking mess in all of history when i push those buttons."
"You know what's really gonna piss me off about taking out most of the Arab countries if they strike us on a large scale?"
"What, Moishe" said the American Nuke commander.
"All these fucking fanaticks are gonna smile just as their turning into flaming smores."
He went on; "And fifty sixty million innocent people are going to join them because the civilized world just didn' get it! - I mean the Russians tried to put nukes ninety miles off your coast and Kennedy was ready to light up the world over that - but here we are surrounded by nut cases who can't wait to annihilate us - and their working on it 24/7 -and when we go about having to keep them under control - to stop them from building their arsenals right next door to us - they scream that wer'e fucking murderers!."
"Captain Pipick continued: "I mean they don't need nukes - just some longer range missiles and poof - goodbye Israel as we know it."
"If the major powers don't get together and collectively put a net over these animals it's definitely going to happen! - we will have to destroy them first!" said Pipick.
"Can you imagine if THEY had or if they acquire anything near our military capabilities what they would do? - These fucks don't live in or care about THIS world - it holds nothing for them."
The American captain said; "Yep Moishe - there's lot's of fine folks over there but the Mullahs have got them by the balls - oh and can you imagine what China or Russia would do if they were in your shoes?"
"Yeah" replied Captain Pipick -"jJust look at Chechnya for example - the Russkies turned those Muslims into slaves - they practically wiped em out and these fucking Arabs didn't say boo! - or any body else for that matter."
"And" said the American -"They killed millions of Muslims in Darfur -and not a peep from the Arabs - and we saved their Muslim asses in Bosnia and Croatia - and not a word of thanks."
Pipick concluded: "Yeah -it's all about the Jews and ALL the Infidels -it's a fucking shame! - It's gonna be the biggest fucking mess in all of history when i push those buttons."
Humans VS. Rabid Chimpanzees - You Choose!
“Muslim brothers,” said the government-appointed preacher, Sheik Eid Abdel Hamid Youssef, “God has inflicted the Muslim nation with a people whom God has become angry at and whom he cursed so he made monkeys and pigs out of them. They killed prophets and messengers and sowed corruption on Earth. They are the most evil on Earth.”
And these crazy morons have felt this way about the Jews long before Israel existed!
It isn't about Palestine or Palestinians!
They hate the Jews -they hate themselves -they hate progress -they hate women -they hate Democracy - they hate art and literature and music!
They are a land full of miserable fucks - where the best jobs are killing each other in the name of Allah - where a violent death leads to the promise of an eternity fucking Virgins in Paradise.
Just Imagine the Israelis living next door to these Neanderthals knowing that the first time they gain the military means to wipe them off the face of the Earth - they will attempt it!
And - then - an Israeli nuclear submarine in the Mediterranean will turn Gaza and the West Bank and Syria and Iran and Jordan and maybe the whole fucking Middle East into Chernoble!
So - we all better pray that they are successful in keeping their ongoing existential threats at a reasonable distance until the Arabs get their shit together - or it's the big KABOOM!
Because the Israelis won't go down easy!
Hamas is commited to the destruction of Israel! -They are totally supported by Iran and Syria -The Israelis cannot stand by and let them grow stronger and stronger.
These Chimpanzees are their next door neighbors - this is not about Israelis wantonly killing civilians - the Israelis revere life - not death.
This is about a tiny democratic country living among the most crazy and violent people on Earth - fighting for it's life!
Look at a map you fucking morons out there demonstrating!
And these crazy morons have felt this way about the Jews long before Israel existed!
It isn't about Palestine or Palestinians!
They hate the Jews -they hate themselves -they hate progress -they hate women -they hate Democracy - they hate art and literature and music!
They are a land full of miserable fucks - where the best jobs are killing each other in the name of Allah - where a violent death leads to the promise of an eternity fucking Virgins in Paradise.
Just Imagine the Israelis living next door to these Neanderthals knowing that the first time they gain the military means to wipe them off the face of the Earth - they will attempt it!
And - then - an Israeli nuclear submarine in the Mediterranean will turn Gaza and the West Bank and Syria and Iran and Jordan and maybe the whole fucking Middle East into Chernoble!
So - we all better pray that they are successful in keeping their ongoing existential threats at a reasonable distance until the Arabs get their shit together - or it's the big KABOOM!
Because the Israelis won't go down easy!
Hamas is commited to the destruction of Israel! -They are totally supported by Iran and Syria -The Israelis cannot stand by and let them grow stronger and stronger.
These Chimpanzees are their next door neighbors - this is not about Israelis wantonly killing civilians - the Israelis revere life - not death.
This is about a tiny democratic country living among the most crazy and violent people on Earth - fighting for it's life!
Look at a map you fucking morons out there demonstrating!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Darfur - Congo - Zimbabwe - Myannamar - Somalia
Gaza is like a fucking day care center in Beverly Hills next to the other raging human slaughterhouses around the globe!
Where is all the outrage - peace initiatives - front page top of the news moaning and handwringing over the ongoing death and destruction - torture maiming and wanton slaying and mutilating of MILLIONS of women and children?
It's unabated ongoing slaughter - Millions of innocent people have been undergoing holocaust like conditions for years - and where is there any collective sense of urgency to intercede on the scale of the international histrionics swirling around Gaza?
It's a fucking disgrace! - What is it about Jews legitimately defending their tiny patch of this earth - surrounded by lunatics who have screamed for their destruction even when they were nothing but a group of struggling farmers on crappy land, which they bought from the Ottomans - and turned into a decent society in the face of ongoing existential attacks from the whole fucking Arab world;
That evokes such a disproportionate response - compared to the tyrannical mayhem that goes unchecked around the Globe?
Where is all the outrage - peace initiatives - front page top of the news moaning and handwringing over the ongoing death and destruction - torture maiming and wanton slaying and mutilating of MILLIONS of women and children?
It's unabated ongoing slaughter - Millions of innocent people have been undergoing holocaust like conditions for years - and where is there any collective sense of urgency to intercede on the scale of the international histrionics swirling around Gaza?
It's a fucking disgrace! - What is it about Jews legitimately defending their tiny patch of this earth - surrounded by lunatics who have screamed for their destruction even when they were nothing but a group of struggling farmers on crappy land, which they bought from the Ottomans - and turned into a decent society in the face of ongoing existential attacks from the whole fucking Arab world;
That evokes such a disproportionate response - compared to the tyrannical mayhem that goes unchecked around the Globe?
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
hey Gazan PEOPLE - Nice Day For a Picnic - Have Fun!
Israel has long argued that Hamas exploits civilians by operating among them. Hamas has responded that it is a people’s movement.
No air raid shelters! - Civilians are shields! - Emergency supplies and basic societal needs ignored to pay for weapons and tunnel construction -And the declared goal of eliminating the State of Israel.
So - if the PEOPLE are not happy - they may want to consider making some changes?
But -if you PEOPLE like things the way they are - have a great day .
Take the kids out for a picnic on the beach - or maybe just a nice stroll around town? - Bring some rockets for the kids.
No air raid shelters! - Civilians are shields! - Emergency supplies and basic societal needs ignored to pay for weapons and tunnel construction -And the declared goal of eliminating the State of Israel.
So - if the PEOPLE are not happy - they may want to consider making some changes?
But -if you PEOPLE like things the way they are - have a great day .
Take the kids out for a picnic on the beach - or maybe just a nice stroll around town? - Bring some rockets for the kids.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Let's Sacrifice To The God's of Finance And See What Happens
Imagine, you’ve just boarded a flight and you hear the captain come on the PA system “Attention ladies and gentlemen, we will be departing after a brief delay. We need to sacrifice a pair of goats in order to get the flangie working on the throttle control.”
Thats pretty much what passengers on Nepal’s National Airline heard this past week. According to the AP:
Officials at Nepal’s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft.
Now personally i think that's a lot more credible and satisfying than putting that wafer in your mouth and believing it's the body of a god who was delivered of a virgin and then got killed and came back to life - like a Zombie.
I mean- maybe wer'e in all this world wide trouble because the God's are pissed off about the lack of sacrifices to them over the past two thousand years?
Hey -let's try an experiment! - We burn that guy Madoff, who screwed all those charities --At the stake - as an offering to the God's of Finance.
If things seem to get better - than we really kick up the heat - and lord knows there are plenty of offerings to go around.
I mean - if Bernie Madoff gets the God's attention -then just think how happy they would be to see Milton Friedman sizzling away in the Houston Astrodome along with a couple of those cutie pies from say Washington Mutual.
Well - you get the idea - and hey -that Nepalese airliner flew perfectly after the goats got sacrificed.
It's a win win situation !
Thats pretty much what passengers on Nepal’s National Airline heard this past week. According to the AP:
Officials at Nepal’s state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft.
Now personally i think that's a lot more credible and satisfying than putting that wafer in your mouth and believing it's the body of a god who was delivered of a virgin and then got killed and came back to life - like a Zombie.
I mean- maybe wer'e in all this world wide trouble because the God's are pissed off about the lack of sacrifices to them over the past two thousand years?
Hey -let's try an experiment! - We burn that guy Madoff, who screwed all those charities --At the stake - as an offering to the God's of Finance.
If things seem to get better - than we really kick up the heat - and lord knows there are plenty of offerings to go around.
I mean - if Bernie Madoff gets the God's attention -then just think how happy they would be to see Milton Friedman sizzling away in the Houston Astrodome along with a couple of those cutie pies from say Washington Mutual.
Well - you get the idea - and hey -that Nepalese airliner flew perfectly after the goats got sacrificed.
It's a win win situation !
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Israel Should carpet Bomb Gaza Into Dust
We carpet bombed the living shit out of Germany and Fire Bombed Japan thousands of miles from our homeland and then nuked them to end their aggression -OH:
And tens of thousands of Israelis have to hide in shelters because their Piss Ant next door neighbor doesn't think they should exist - decrees their ultimate destruction - and has enhanced their terrorist state military capabilities five fold over the course of their latest cease fire.
These death worshiping cretans had the opportunity to turn Gaza into a model of what a palestine state could become - instead they got a blank check from Iran and Syria to turn the land - Which Israel totally exited from - into an armed terrorist camp - and started a daily barrage of indiscriminate rocket attacks. (Civilians? - Who cares!)
Israel should give them an adequate warning to evacuate - and then bomb them back into the stone age!
My neighbor said to me yesterday in his rabid "liberalspeak" "But oh the response is so disproprtional"
WHAT - We killed over fifteen million GERMANS AND TWO MILLION JAPS - IN WORLD WAR TWO - AND WE LOST THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND - MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED FIGHTING and killing AT THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND AMERICAN DEAD and gone home?
Oh - and Irael is fighting for it's life in the world's worst neighborhood with the same fucks that hate us and want us dead - RIGHT NEXT DOOR to nihilistic terrorists that are growing stronger every day - with an Israeli Arab population that is breeding like rats and getting nastier and more hostile to the very State that offers them a protected democratic citizenship (can you imagine what would happen to Jews cheering for Israel in Iran)
The Iranians -whose leaders are nuts and Syria -and their Hezbollah and Hamas proxies are drooling over the prospects of a weakened Israel:
And your talking disproportional? - read a fucking history book -will ya?
Bomb them off the fucking map!
And tens of thousands of Israelis have to hide in shelters because their Piss Ant next door neighbor doesn't think they should exist - decrees their ultimate destruction - and has enhanced their terrorist state military capabilities five fold over the course of their latest cease fire.
These death worshiping cretans had the opportunity to turn Gaza into a model of what a palestine state could become - instead they got a blank check from Iran and Syria to turn the land - Which Israel totally exited from - into an armed terrorist camp - and started a daily barrage of indiscriminate rocket attacks. (Civilians? - Who cares!)
Israel should give them an adequate warning to evacuate - and then bomb them back into the stone age!
My neighbor said to me yesterday in his rabid "liberalspeak" "But oh the response is so disproprtional"
WHAT - We killed over fifteen million GERMANS AND TWO MILLION JAPS - IN WORLD WAR TWO - AND WE LOST THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND - MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED FIGHTING and killing AT THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND AMERICAN DEAD and gone home?
Oh - and Irael is fighting for it's life in the world's worst neighborhood with the same fucks that hate us and want us dead - RIGHT NEXT DOOR to nihilistic terrorists that are growing stronger every day - with an Israeli Arab population that is breeding like rats and getting nastier and more hostile to the very State that offers them a protected democratic citizenship (can you imagine what would happen to Jews cheering for Israel in Iran)
The Iranians -whose leaders are nuts and Syria -and their Hezbollah and Hamas proxies are drooling over the prospects of a weakened Israel:
And your talking disproportional? - read a fucking history book -will ya?
Bomb them off the fucking map!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Bush Was A GREAT FIRST MAN - And That Counts
Laura Bush has got to be the happiest first lady in american history!
I mean - Just look at her lovely glowing face - her calm but vivacious demeanor - her natural easy going and mature sense of self - her obvious intelligence and wit;
Calm Clarity and Comfort ooze from her pores - she makes ya feel good just being in her prescence:
I mean- this is one relaxed and confident and competent wife and mother - and has been a dignified and classy first lady under extremely difficult conditions.
This is a woman whose whole existence says; "I have the kind of regular and consistently blissful orgasms that any woman could dream of - and that very few woman attain;"
A sexy bawdy lady who thinks to herself:
"I get fucked silly by the coolest stud to ever come (pun oops) out of the Lonestar State - and he is FIRST MAN in my bed anytime he get's his throbbing member agitated - which is almost all the time!"
So - whatever pronouncements history will make on the Bush presidency
Never Forget -- George new how to make a real lady - very happy!
I mean - Just look at her lovely glowing face - her calm but vivacious demeanor - her natural easy going and mature sense of self - her obvious intelligence and wit;
Calm Clarity and Comfort ooze from her pores - she makes ya feel good just being in her prescence:
I mean- this is one relaxed and confident and competent wife and mother - and has been a dignified and classy first lady under extremely difficult conditions.
This is a woman whose whole existence says; "I have the kind of regular and consistently blissful orgasms that any woman could dream of - and that very few woman attain;"
A sexy bawdy lady who thinks to herself:
"I get fucked silly by the coolest stud to ever come (pun oops) out of the Lonestar State - and he is FIRST MAN in my bed anytime he get's his throbbing member agitated - which is almost all the time!"
So - whatever pronouncements history will make on the Bush presidency
Never Forget -- George new how to make a real lady - very happy!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Churches - Short On American Homo's - Recruit Foreign Priests
“We experience the priest shortage, and rather than ask the question, ‘Why do we have a priest shortage?’ we just import some and act like we don’t have a priest shortage,” Father Holly said. “Until we face the issue of mandatory celibacy and the ordination of women, we can’t deal with the lack of response to the invitation to priesthood.” NY Times 12-28-08
So the lunatics in Club Vatican - faced with a dwindling supply of native Anglo souls to torture - as more and more Americans find the Church Doctrine about as relevent as Witch burning - and with :
A drop in homo priest applicants - who make up between thirty and forty percent of the whole priesthood historically - and who are temporarily undergoing more serious pedophile screening :
Needs a whole new crop of snake charmers fast - especially because the growing number of Hispanics and Latinos who are still very much into superstition and miracles and all that pagan bullshit - need some Priestly attention - like fast!
The answer! - let's bring in priests from around the world! - I mean - if you are a priest in the Congo with one foot and an arm already cut off by some eleven year old crack head - and where Altar Boy Buns are in short supply - America must look like one big "golden asshole" of an opportunity.
"D a go ne yari n d donga tuchas " - which means in Angolan "You mean the altar boys don't carry clubs and knives in America to protect their buttholes?"
Only one problem my sweet brothers of the black cloth - When you stick your foot long yam into young Carlos Rivera from Juahaca - His father will cut it in half with a machette! - And then castrate the Monsignor AND the Bishop.
You will soon find out that unlike the Anglos who are too generally fucked up to know what's going on with their kids - the Hispanics and Latinos are still very old fashioned about letting some Homo priest date rape their kids while saying a hail mary.
Oh - and i hope Al Quaeda doesn't pick up on this new opportunity to get to America? -Are you watching Mike? (Chertoff) -because you look a little lite in the wrist yourself.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Fox Tv Announces - " Wanted - Georgeous Men To Marry Rich and Ugly Women"
"Attractive men will compete to marry VERY ugly - and Super Rich women.
They will attempt to prove to these wealthy "dogs" that it's NOT about their money - but that "Personality Counts!"
Jud Schlock - President of Fox Entertainment announced today:
"Yep - we have always wanted to do a relationship based reality program that is not all about tits and ass - beauty - sexuality and carnal desire"
He continued; 'Won't it be nice to see some real dogs wind up with a good looking fella - who loves them just for their inner beauty ."
He said; "The only reason we included the RICH dimension is because - let's face it - it's hard enough to marry a dog - even if she is a really wonderful person - I mean most guys wouldn't hook up with an ugly bow wow no matter how much dough was involved - so we just wanted to be realistic."
Shlock concluded; "And wer'e looking for a real top female doggie to host the show - I mean we want a star whos'e face would stop a clock!"
Any ideas?
They will attempt to prove to these wealthy "dogs" that it's NOT about their money - but that "Personality Counts!"
Jud Schlock - President of Fox Entertainment announced today:
"Yep - we have always wanted to do a relationship based reality program that is not all about tits and ass - beauty - sexuality and carnal desire"
He continued; 'Won't it be nice to see some real dogs wind up with a good looking fella - who loves them just for their inner beauty ."
He said; "The only reason we included the RICH dimension is because - let's face it - it's hard enough to marry a dog - even if she is a really wonderful person - I mean most guys wouldn't hook up with an ugly bow wow no matter how much dough was involved - so we just wanted to be realistic."
Shlock concluded; "And wer'e looking for a real top female doggie to host the show - I mean we want a star whos'e face would stop a clock!"
Any ideas?
Thursday, December 25, 2008
XMas Used To Be Fun - Before The Christians Fucked It Up
No one knows what day Jesus Christ was born on. From the biblical description, most historians believe that his birth probably occurred in September, approximately six months after Passover.
One thing they agree on is that it is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December, since the bible records shepherds tending their sheep in the fields on that night. This is quite unlikely to have happened during a cold Judean winter. So why do we celebrate Christ’s birthday as Christmas, on December the 25th?
The answer lies in the pagan origins of Christmas. In ancient Babylon, the feast of the Son of Isis (Goddess of Nature) was celebrated on December 25. Raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving were traditions of this feast.
In Rome, the Winter Solstice was celebrated many years before the birth of Christ. The Romans called their winter holiday Saturnalia, honoring Saturn, the God of Agriculture. In January, they observed the Kalends of January, which represented the triumph of life over death. This whole season was called Dies Natalis Invicti Solis, the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. The festival season was marked by much merrymaking. It is in ancient Rome that the tradition of the Mummers was born. The Mummers were groups of costumed singers and dancers who traveled from house to house entertaining their neighbors. From this, the Christmas tradition of caroling was born.
In northern Europe, many other traditions that we now consider part of Christian worship were begun long before the participants had ever heard of Christ. The pagans of northern Europe celebrated the their own winter solstice, known as Yule. Yule was symbolic of the pagan Sun God, Mithras, being born, and was observed on the shortest day of the year. As the Sun God grew and matured, the days became longer and warmer. It was customary to light a candle to encourage Mithras, and the sun, to reappear next year.
Huge Yule logs were burned in honor of the sun. The word Yule itself means “wheel,” the wheel being a pagan symbol for the sun. Mistletoe was considered a sacred plant, and the custom of kissing under the mistletoe began as a fertility ritual. Hollyberries were thought to be a food of the gods.
The tree is the one symbol that unites almost all the northern European winter solstices. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during the harsh winters as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshipping huge trees.
In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity. The new religion went down a bit easier, knowing that their feasts would not be taken away from them.
Christmas (Christ-Mass) as we know it today, most historians agree, began in Germany, though Catholics and Lutherans still disagree about which church celebrated it first. The earliest record of an evergreen being decorated in a Christian celebration was in 1521 in the Alsace region of Germany. A prominent Lutheran minister of the day cried blasphemy:
“Better that they should look to the true tree of life, Christ.”
The controversy continues even today in some fundamentalist sects.
One thing they agree on is that it is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December, since the bible records shepherds tending their sheep in the fields on that night. This is quite unlikely to have happened during a cold Judean winter. So why do we celebrate Christ’s birthday as Christmas, on December the 25th?
The answer lies in the pagan origins of Christmas. In ancient Babylon, the feast of the Son of Isis (Goddess of Nature) was celebrated on December 25. Raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving were traditions of this feast.
In Rome, the Winter Solstice was celebrated many years before the birth of Christ. The Romans called their winter holiday Saturnalia, honoring Saturn, the God of Agriculture. In January, they observed the Kalends of January, which represented the triumph of life over death. This whole season was called Dies Natalis Invicti Solis, the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. The festival season was marked by much merrymaking. It is in ancient Rome that the tradition of the Mummers was born. The Mummers were groups of costumed singers and dancers who traveled from house to house entertaining their neighbors. From this, the Christmas tradition of caroling was born.
In northern Europe, many other traditions that we now consider part of Christian worship were begun long before the participants had ever heard of Christ. The pagans of northern Europe celebrated the their own winter solstice, known as Yule. Yule was symbolic of the pagan Sun God, Mithras, being born, and was observed on the shortest day of the year. As the Sun God grew and matured, the days became longer and warmer. It was customary to light a candle to encourage Mithras, and the sun, to reappear next year.
Huge Yule logs were burned in honor of the sun. The word Yule itself means “wheel,” the wheel being a pagan symbol for the sun. Mistletoe was considered a sacred plant, and the custom of kissing under the mistletoe began as a fertility ritual. Hollyberries were thought to be a food of the gods.
The tree is the one symbol that unites almost all the northern European winter solstices. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during the harsh winters as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshipping huge trees.
In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity. The new religion went down a bit easier, knowing that their feasts would not be taken away from them.
Christmas (Christ-Mass) as we know it today, most historians agree, began in Germany, though Catholics and Lutherans still disagree about which church celebrated it first. The earliest record of an evergreen being decorated in a Christian celebration was in 1521 in the Alsace region of Germany. A prominent Lutheran minister of the day cried blasphemy:
“Better that they should look to the true tree of life, Christ.”
The controversy continues even today in some fundamentalist sects.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Hey - How About A Moron Redneck In The Cabinet?
It's certainly laudible that in trying to balance various constituencies and backgrounds, Obama has assembled a 15-member cabinet that includes six current or former members of Congress, three current or former governors and two Republicans, including Mr. LaHood.
And under pressure to increase ethnic and gender diversity, Mr. Obama picked three women and three Hispanics for his cabinet, with Ms. Solis counting in both categories. He named two Asian-Americans and one African-American. (Other officials will also be given a cabinet rank.)
But - How about some "Redneck Morons?"
I mean- without some Bible thumping - gun toting animal killers around the White House -AND some Anti Science Creationist, Homo hating -Pro life bigots and Rascists -How the fuck will Obama know what's goin on in half the country?
I mean - he's definitely top heavy in the IQ department - these folks may be bright and balanced thinkers - they may be intellectually curious with balanced egos and quality life experiences and solid educations - and records of accomplished problem solving - BUT:
Who will represent the moron rednecks? - I mean - just think about all those folks who still think Sarah Palin represents the future of the Republican Party - Don't forget that after eight years of the "Bush Doctrine' - and in the midst of an economic collapse - and two fucked up Wars ...............
Forty Seven percent of Americans still voted for the GOP!
I mean - like someone once said "Keep your friends close - but your enemies closer."
Hey - here's an idea! - How about appointing that lunatic Polak - about to be impeached Governor of Illinois - Rogoyavitch (or something like that - i know it's got Goy in it -like all Jew hating Polaks) - to a new cabinet position?
Department of Redneck Morons - yep - he's the man for the job!
Every single day he would be the perfect reminder of what a huge percentage of our neighbors are feeling and thinking about what's going on.
You never know when they might start putting on the sheets and getting out the torches - it's getting rough out there!
"Keep your enemies close!" - Obama
And under pressure to increase ethnic and gender diversity, Mr. Obama picked three women and three Hispanics for his cabinet, with Ms. Solis counting in both categories. He named two Asian-Americans and one African-American. (Other officials will also be given a cabinet rank.)
But - How about some "Redneck Morons?"
I mean- without some Bible thumping - gun toting animal killers around the White House -AND some Anti Science Creationist, Homo hating -Pro life bigots and Rascists -How the fuck will Obama know what's goin on in half the country?
I mean - he's definitely top heavy in the IQ department - these folks may be bright and balanced thinkers - they may be intellectually curious with balanced egos and quality life experiences and solid educations - and records of accomplished problem solving - BUT:
Who will represent the moron rednecks? - I mean - just think about all those folks who still think Sarah Palin represents the future of the Republican Party - Don't forget that after eight years of the "Bush Doctrine' - and in the midst of an economic collapse - and two fucked up Wars ...............
Forty Seven percent of Americans still voted for the GOP!
I mean - like someone once said "Keep your friends close - but your enemies closer."
Hey - here's an idea! - How about appointing that lunatic Polak - about to be impeached Governor of Illinois - Rogoyavitch (or something like that - i know it's got Goy in it -like all Jew hating Polaks) - to a new cabinet position?
Department of Redneck Morons - yep - he's the man for the job!
Every single day he would be the perfect reminder of what a huge percentage of our neighbors are feeling and thinking about what's going on.
You never know when they might start putting on the sheets and getting out the torches - it's getting rough out there!
"Keep your enemies close!" - Obama
"Jewish Men In Hell" as Their Wives React To Madoff Ruin
Can you imagine the shit that all those poor wealthy Jewish husbands are getting from their wives?
"Oh my darling Esther"says Moishe Pipick - president of Pipick and Sons Investments LLC - in West Palm beach ,Florida - with assets of 200 million two weeks ago - and now totally busted!
Moishe continues; "Oh my dear - we seem to have run in to a bit of a problem down at the office."
"Hurry up Moishe" says Esther - "I'm late for my beauty spa appointment and then i have to take the Rolls in for service - and -oh don't forget to take Rachel to her riding lesson at 3 o'clock and - oh - and send Amos to pick up Sol at the tennis academy at five and then drop by the Palm Beach deli and pick up some Pastrami and Corned Beef."
"Well - actually dear" says Moishe -trembling "I have some rather bad news."
"What - What - Moishe !" says Esther - "Your'e always SO emotional - what molehill have you made into a mountain now - Moishela?"
"Wer'e fucking broke Esther! -that's what! - It turn out Bernie Madoff is a crook!"
"We can't afford any of this - if we get 25 cents on the dollar for the house you will still have to go back to work as a dental assistant to keep Sol in Brandeis - and that's assuming your father will take me back in the plumbing business - and we all move upstairs with my mother in Century Village."
Now just imagine slightly different versions of that scene - in ex wealthy - now impoverished - Jewish households all around the country - AND just imagine the volume and degree of Jewish wife anger - betrayal -cruelty and guilt venom - Being directed at all those Jewish husnand victims of Bernie Madoff - and - well:
You have the potential for the highest rated Reality TV Program since American Idol:
" Jewish Men in Hell!"
"Oh my darling Esther"says Moishe Pipick - president of Pipick and Sons Investments LLC - in West Palm beach ,Florida - with assets of 200 million two weeks ago - and now totally busted!
Moishe continues; "Oh my dear - we seem to have run in to a bit of a problem down at the office."
"Hurry up Moishe" says Esther - "I'm late for my beauty spa appointment and then i have to take the Rolls in for service - and -oh don't forget to take Rachel to her riding lesson at 3 o'clock and - oh - and send Amos to pick up Sol at the tennis academy at five and then drop by the Palm Beach deli and pick up some Pastrami and Corned Beef."
"Well - actually dear" says Moishe -trembling "I have some rather bad news."
"What - What - Moishe !" says Esther - "Your'e always SO emotional - what molehill have you made into a mountain now - Moishela?"
"Wer'e fucking broke Esther! -that's what! - It turn out Bernie Madoff is a crook!"
"We can't afford any of this - if we get 25 cents on the dollar for the house you will still have to go back to work as a dental assistant to keep Sol in Brandeis - and that's assuming your father will take me back in the plumbing business - and we all move upstairs with my mother in Century Village."
Now just imagine slightly different versions of that scene - in ex wealthy - now impoverished - Jewish households all around the country - AND just imagine the volume and degree of Jewish wife anger - betrayal -cruelty and guilt venom - Being directed at all those Jewish husnand victims of Bernie Madoff - and - well:
You have the potential for the highest rated Reality TV Program since American Idol:
" Jewish Men in Hell!"
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