Fox Anounces "She's Got BALLS!"

Bush and Team Could Have Easily Prevented 9/11

 They fucked it up sooo bad it's incredible - typical of the rampant incompetence of the Bush Administration where ideology trumped competence on every important issue.

9/11 - Iraq -The Economic Meltdown - A Supremo Court of strict constructionists! -Want more of the same? Vote for those two hucksters and their right wing mob of  Biblical Boobies.-You'll get just what you deserve!

In the aftermath of 9/11, Bush officials attempted to deflect criticism that they had ignored C.I.A. warnings by saying they had not been told when and where the attack would occur. That is true, as far as it goes, but it misses the point. Throughout that summer, there were events that might have exposed the plans, had the government been on high alert. Indeed, even as the Aug. 6 brief was being prepared, Mohamed al-Kahtani, a Saudi believed to have been assigned a role in the 9/11 attacks, was stopped at an airport in Orlando, Fla., by a suspicious customs agent and sent back overseas on Aug. 4. Two weeks later, another co-conspirator, Zacarias Moussaoui, was arrested on immigration charges in Minnesota after arousing suspicions at a flight school. But the dots were not connected, and Washington did not react.

Could the 9/11 attack have been stopped, had the Bush team reacted with urgency to the warnings contained in all of those daily briefs? We can’t ever know. And that may be the most agonizing reality of all.

Fox TV Announces "Bringing Up Osama Bin Laden's Skeleton"

"We are gonna scour the Ocean with the same team of expert underwater Treasure Hunters that discovered the Titanic and bring up Osama's Skeleton and sell it in what will be the world's greatest auction event -- AND the revenue will go to the 911 victim's families" --said Myron Schlockmeister Prexy of Fox TV in a startling press conference in hollywood today.

"Wow!" -exclaimed Moishe Pipick,LA Burea Chief for The New York Times. He went on "This will certainly be the biggest event in TV history and maybe in the history of the world - because IF you find his Skeleton you know the fanatical Muslims will go ape shit world wide"

Schlockmeister replied," Heh Heh -fuck em all! -Oh and we WILL find that fucker's carcass - because we have inside info from the Aircraft Carrier's logs about where they dumped him -and our crew is the best in the world at finding shit in the deepest parts of the World's oceans"

Digibandit Entertainment Reporter Elise Mandelbaum asked:"Isn't it against the Shariah Code of Muslim Justice to bother a dead Muslim's body?"

"Sharia LAW? -That's a fucking oxymoron if ever i heard one! -- Hey Elise in Iran they would stone you to death just for showing off those big tits of yours."

"Fuck you Schlockmeister!"

John (Casper)McCaine asked if he fucked Sarah Palin

On tour in Italy today McCaine was asked: "Did you screwa thata Sarah Palin?  --Isa thata whya you chosa thata moron to runa witha you."

"Heh heh" laughed McCaine "now Mario what kind of question is that -only The Italian press would ask a question like that-heh -heh"

"Wella senor McCaine you are a fina Senator and a smarta man -buta this putana she costa you The Presdency - evena The Americano's knowse an idiot whena they seesa one!"

"Heh heh heh Mario - she does have great titsa (as you would say) heh heh and legsa -heh heh - OH  -  AND i'll bet(as we like to say in Nevada ) she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!

heh heh heh

"Ah! managamia senor Senatore -you ara too red blooded for the Americanos!"

NOW we know!!!!

Those Sick Fucking Priests Just keep Coming After Our Kids

  NY Times excerpt  -"But in December 2010, Bishop Finn got some disturbing news: Father Ratigan had just tried to commit suicide by running his motorcycle in a closed garage. The day before, a computer technician had discovered sexually explicit photographs of young girls on Father Ratigan’s laptop, including one of a toddler with her diaper pulled away to expose her genitals."

Same old story -  another sicko man of god produced and nurtured and protected by The Vatican which has been producing sick fanatical and repressed Male Monstors for two thousand years.

The whole fucking place is filled with rot and corruption!

Poor Jesus!

When Canada gets Pissed off - Watch Out! - Go Canucks!

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canada has closed its embassy in Iran and will expel all Iranian diplomats in Canada within five days, Foreign Minister John Baird said on Friday, denouncing Tehran as the biggest threat to global security.

"Diplomatic relations between Canada and Iran have been suspended," Baird said.

He cited Iran's nuclear program, its hostility toward Israel and Iranian military assistance to the government of President Bashar al-Assad of Syria, which is locked in civil war with rebels. He also said Iran was a state sponsor of terrorism.

Canada's move was swiftly applauded by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who has strongly warned of the danger of a growing threat from Iran.

Baird accused Iran of showing blatant disregard for the safety of foreign diplomats. "Canada views the government of Iran as the most significant threat to global peace and security in the world today," he said in a statement.

"Under the circumstances, Canada can no longer maintain a diplomatic presence in Iran," he said, declaring that Iran had shown "blatant disregard" for the Vienna Convention's guarantee of protection for diplomats.

Ottawa has long had poor relations with Iran, in part because of its enmity toward close Canadian ally Israel.

"I wish to congratulate (Canadian) Prime Minister Stephen Harper who has made a bold leadership move that sends a clear message to Iran and to the entire world," Netanyahu said in a statement from Jerusalem.

"The determination shown by Canada is of great importance in order for the Iranians to understand that they cannot go on with their race toward nuclear arms. This practical step must set an example of international morality and responsibility to the international community," he said.

Mormon Underwear vs Scarlet-Johannson and Kerry Washington

http://www.deadline.com/2012/09/scarlett-johansson-kerry-washington-speak-to-democratic-convention-barack-obama-kal-penn-clint-eastwood-eva-longoria/

 a picture is worth a thousand words

here's three

Romney Makes Women Desperate says Eva Longoria

"Mitt Romney is the kind of bloodless pencil dick man who makes women 'Desperate!"

"I don't mean to be crude my sisters across Americab BUT these bible belting republicans belong in a Church NOT in Government"

"Hey  -haven't we had enough misery put on us from these repressed "Baby Men"who can't fuck except for power and money?"

"Get out and put out for Obama and his platform of fairness for women and freedom of imagination and respect for  the downtrodden and the collective power of our intellect and the imagination and science to make the world better for everyone."

"Oh -and fuck these pencil dicks!

ps -you feel a lot in common with Ann Romney? -Vote Pencil Dick!

"Uteroil" made from Aborted Fetus' to Save the Earth

The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.

"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."

He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."

"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.

He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

President Obama said today; "The Arabs and Russia and Africans better figure out some new way to pay for screwing their people and paying for weapons -heh heh"

When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."

"But, said the President - i don't wanta see folks creatin a new market by creatin and sellin dead babies for "Uteroil" - Uh Uh! - But them Muslims could probably make a little extra cash and cut way down on their production of future suicide bombers by sending us lots of aborted Mulims to turn into clean energy."

Not Many Jobs out There

As KingFaisal of Saudi Arabia said twenty years ago : "Don't be greedy my Arab brothers - the stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones."

Too late!

America's Soldiers and Treasure were Wasted in Iraq

After all that blood  here's what we created:

A Shiite ally to our biggest enemy -Iran - who supports Syria and Hamas and Hezbollah.

Sadaam would have blocked them at every turn and sent troops to assist his Sunni brothers in Syria.

What a fucking tragic waste!

We could have killed Sadaam and let the more moderate Sunni's continue to control the Shiite loonies.

And now we sit by and let the Syrian resistance suffer because of our historical political dysfunction and lack of balls.

Don't worry -just sit there watching "The price is Right" and eating yourself to death.

    The New York Times -   Iran has resumed shipping military equipment to Syria over Iraqi airspace in a new effort to bolster the embattled government of President Bashar al-Assad of Syria, according to senior American officials.

Enlarge This Image

Doug Mills/The New York Times

President Obama with Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki of Iraq at a news conference at the White House last December.

The Obama administration pressed Iraq to shut down the air corridor that Iran had been using earlier this year, raising the issue with Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki of Iraq. But as Syrian rebels gained ground and Mr. Assad’s government was rocked by a bombing that killed several high officials, Iran doubled down in supporting the Syrian leader. The flights started up again in July and, to the frustration of American officials, have continued

Homo Lie Detector Test For Every Priest -Starting with Pope

It's so simple -EVERY priest (including the Pope) and every applicant for the Clergy gets wired up and asked these questions:

Are you a homo?

Do you get excited thinking about a young man's asshole?

Have you ever tongue kissed a male?

Do you think Paris Hilton licking your balls is exciting?

If leonardo De Caprio grabbed your cock would you be thrilled?

If Cameron Diaz crawled into your bed and put her thumb in your prostate would it be exciting?

Would you suck the Pope's dick if he asked you?

Do you think God is a homo?

Simple as pie - if you pass this test we know our kids ain't gonna get the high hard one from a Homo Priest.

Your Welcome

Paul Ryan Lied about his Marathon Time -That's a Real Asshole for ya

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/03/opinion/krugman-rosie-ruiz-republicans.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120903

 i was only an hour off

it's all here folks - if you don't read this your fucking yourselves!

Clint Eastwood says he Shit his Pants - And It Confused Him

Clint Eastwood blamed his erratic alzeimersesque presentation on behalf of the GOP - on incontinence!

"I shit my pants shortly after appearing on stage and everything went down hill from there" -he said at a press conference in Carmel,CA early this morning.

He went on ;"My wife told me to wer my diapers but with the alzeimers and all it skipped my mind."

He said: "Those fucking assholes at team Romney also kinda pissed me off with their Mormon pansy way of doin things in general and that fucking troll Paul Ryan kept suckin around like some kinda creepy troll!"

Clint concluded: "Now that i think about it maybe the whole damn country should shit on these fuckin GOP morons  - OH and Michelle Bachman needs deodorant bad -oh -and Newt Gingriches wife is definitely not human -trust me on that one.."

Top 100 Celebrities Enjoying Anal Sex On Labor Day

1. Tom Cruise
2. Rolling Stones
3. Oprah Winfrey
4. U2
5. Tiger Woods
6. Steven Spielberg
7. Howard Stern
8. 50 Cent
9. Cast of The Sopranos
10. Dan Brown
11. Bruce Springsteen
12. Donald Trump
13. Muhammad Ali
14. Paul McCartney
15. George Lucas
16. Elton John
17. David Letterman
18. Phil Mickelson
19. J.K. Rowling
20. Brad Pitt
21. Peter Jackson
22. Dr. Phil McGraw
23. Jay Leno
24. Celine Dion
25. Kobe Bryant
26. Michael Jordan
27. Johnny Depp
28. Jerry Seinfeld
29. Simon Cowell
30. Michael Schumacher
31. Tom Hanks
32. Rush Limbaugh
33. Denzel Washington
34. Cast of Desperate
Housewives
35. Jennifer Aniston
35. Angelina Jolie
37. The Olsen Twins
38. Nicole Kidman
39. The Eagles
40. Rod Stewart
41. Shaquille O'Neal
42. Jerry Bruckheimer
43. David Beckham
44. Jessica Simpson
45. Andrew Lloyd Webber
46. LeBron James
47. Neil Diamond
48. Alex Rodriguez
49. Will Smith
50. Dick Wolf
51. Dave Matthews Band
52. Tom Brady
53. Ronaldinho
54. Jodie Foster
55. Ray Romano
56. Paris Hilton
57. Adam Sandler
58. Derek Jeter
59. Jennifer Lopez
60. Rick Warren
61. Scarlett Johansson
62. Katie Couric
63. Maria Sharapova
64. Valentino Rossi
65. Halle Berry
66. James Patterson
67. Leonardo DiCaprio
68. Kiefer Sutherland
69. Jim Carrey
70. Cameron Diaz
71. Gisele Bundchen
72. Renee Zellweger
73. Carson Palmer
74. Michelle Wie
75. Reese Witherspoon
76. Bill O'Reilly
77. Kate Moss
78. Diane Sawyer
79. Sean (Diddy) Combs
80. John Grisham
81. Rachael Ray
82. Dave Chappelle
83. Larry the Cable Guy
84. Tyra Banks
85. George Lopez
86. Regis Philbin
87. Serena Williams
88. Ryan Seacrest
89. Wolfgang Puck
90. Venus Williams
91. Annika Sorenstam
92. Matthew Broderick/
Nathan Lane
93. Mel Brooks
94. Emeril Lagasse
95. Nicole Richie
96. Heidi Klum
97. Mario Batali
98. Eric Idle/
Mike Nichols
99. Adriana Lima
100. Ty Penningto

Andrew Dice Clay to Perform at Democratic Convention

"hey Yo -that fuckin Clint Eastwood's imitation of a Republican wit Alzheimers was pathetic -he shoulda had one of his five wives up there and cornholed her on the stage in front of his five children and then see if the fuckin kids can match up themselves wit THEIR freakin Mother"


"That would have really rocked the mfuckin party of family values!"

"hey i won't use no chair in my fuckin act - except maybe to cornhole Condoleeza Fried Rice in effigy"

Yo

Dolphin Gives Birth to Japanese Baby Girl - They named her "Sushi"

"Maybe this will be a sign to the Japs who don't care about slaughtering  Dolphins and Whales (which are more sentient than most Japs)" said Dr. Fuji Madooji the Head Obstetrician who delivered the baby girl at the Center for Dolphin Research in Tokyo.

Dr. Madooji further stated; 'The Dolphin named Suzy had been acting very strange and when we sonogrammed her we saw a perfectly formed 9 month old Jap baby girl in her womb."

"The girls parent's have named her"Sushi" and said they will continue eating Dolphin but would not eat "Sushi""

Dr Madooji said: " Most Japs would definitely eat their kids if they had fins."

Israel Should Nuke and Totally Destroy Iran

Iran has threatened Israel with extinction -denied it's right to exist as a nation and denied The Holocaust and will soon have a Nuclear Bomb.

If Israel threatened Iran's existence and the tables were reversed with Iran having 30 Nukes their is no doubt the death worshipers in control of Iran's Theocracy would use them with NO qualms (just another slaughter of Infidels -only much bigger)

So - Israel gives three weeks evacuation notice and then BOOM  -

 "Paradise By The Dashboard lights" - Iran becomes Meatloaf

The islamofascists in Tehren play their death games and get away with it ONLY because Israel is a civilized nation  - BUT:

NEVER AGAIN

hey Clint! - Make Our Day -Stick to Fiction!

It had to happen! - Too many starring roles as the poor man's John Wayne finally got to him.

He probably thinks he's the lead character in "Gran Torino" come to life.

A disilusioned lost soul who hates everybody that's not a carbon copy of his own anger fueled personality.

BUT at least THAT character had balls and pride -and is heroic which makes for a great movie.

Problem is - the  race for the presidency is no movie Clint.

Mitty and Pauli are two bad actors leading a cast of B grade morons off a cliff.

hey Clint -Make Our Day -stick to movies.

America Needs a Court Jester in Congress and White House

 Think Jon Stewart In Jester Garb with Slapstick

A jester, joker, jokester, fool, wit-cracker, or prankster was a person employed to tell jokes and provide general entertainment, typically for a European monarch or courtier. Jesters are depicted to have typically worn brightly coloured clothes and eccentric hats in a motley pattern. Their hats were especially distinctive; often made of cloth, they were floppy with three points, each of which had a jingle bell at the end. The three points of the hat represent donkey's ears and nose and tail worn by jesters in earlier times. Other things distinctive about the jester were his laughter and his mock sceptre, known as a "bauble" or marotte.


Scholar David Carlyon has cast doubt on the "daring political jester", calling historical tales "apocryphal", and concluding that "popular culture embraces a sentimental image of the clown; writers reproduce that sentimentality in the jester, and academics in the Trickster," but it "falters as analysis."^[2]
Jesters could also give bad news to the King that no-one else would dare deliver. The best example of this is in 1340, when the French fleet was destroyed at the Battle of Sluys by the English. Phillippe VI's jester told him the English sailors "don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our brave French."^[3]

 History

Early jesters were popular in Ancient Egypt, and entertained Egyptian pharaohs. Jesters were popular with the Aztec people in the fourteenth to sixteenth centuries.^[4]

 English royal court jesters

17th-century engraving of Will Sommers, Henry VIII's jester

Many courts throughout English royal history employed entertainers and most had professional fools, sometimes called licensed fools. Entertainment included music, juggling, clowning, and the telling of riddles. Henry VIII of England employed a jester named Will Sommers.
During the reigns of Elizabeth I and James I of England, William Shakespeare wrote his plays and performed with his theatre company the Lord Chamberlain's Men (later called the King's Men). Clowns and jesters were featured in Shakespeare's plays, and the company's expert on jesting was Robert Armin, author of the book Fooled upon Foole. In Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, Feste the jester is described as "wise enough to play the fool."
James VI of Scotland was originally very lazy about reading things before signing them. His jester, George Buchanan (1506–82) tricked him into abdicating in favour of George for fifteen days. James got the point.^[5]
King James also employed a jester called Archibald Armstrong. During his lifetime Armstrong was given great honours at court. He was eventually thrown out of the King's employment when he over-reached himself and insulted too many influential people. Even after his disgrace, books telling of his jests were sold in London streets. He held some influence at court still in the reign of Charles I and estates of land in Ireland. Charles later employed a jester called Jeffrey Hudson who was very popular and loyal. Jeffrey Hudson had the title of Royal Dwarf because he was short of stature. One of his jests was to be presented hidden in a giant pie from which he would leap out. Hudson fought on the Royalist side in the English Civil War. A third jester associated with Charles I was called Muckle John.

 End of tradition

The tradition of court jesters came to an end in Britain when Charles I was overthrown in the Civil War. As a Puritan Christian republic, England under the Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell had no place for such things as jesters. English theatre also suffered and a good many actors and entertainers relocated to Ireland where things were little better (see Irish theatre).^[cita

Questions for Mitt Romney sent in by Ron Paul

Are you a carbon based Humanoid?

Have you ever had diarreah?

Ever had a blowjob from a woman?

Ever hung out with someone who wasn't a millionaire whose soul you were not trying to save?

Have you ever day dreamed?

Ever been in a bar? diner? bowling alley? - except to Mormonize

Do you agree that Joseph Smith the founder of your faith was a delusional criminal?

Do you ever think about fucking any of your Maids?  Butlers? Drivers? Gardeners? Pool boys? Cooks? Nurses?