I got to thinkin about the name --Mitt! - And why in the hell would anyone name their child Mitt? - In most neighborhoods if you are named Mitt you learn to become a polished street fighter very quickly ie. "Hey Mitt! - Somethin stinks! --Did you shit? --Mitt!" and then it's boom bam boom unless you grew up in "Mitt's" swanky neighborhood where most of the kids have verbs and nouns for first names - like 'Mitt's" son Tag whose best friend is probably named Lane.
"Now Mitt you make sure you put away the croquet equipment after you and Laney are finished" says Momma Romney - "And don't get your Gucci's all muddy because we have to get over to the club for dinner with Poppa Mitt."
I couldn't resist logging onto what'sinaname.com to get the full origin of "Mitt's" mittiness - and here it is for your enjoyment - oh you better have a puke bowl handy because it's not very pretty!
"Then there's the former governor of Massachusetts and current Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. The humorist Roy Blount Jr. says every time he hears "Mitt Romney" he thinks it's a German konditorei order, like "mit schlag." Me, I can't help thinking "Mitt" is an abbreviation for "Mittens." Like Ralph Wiggum's cat. Mr. Romney's given name is Willard Milton--again, not a name likely to win points on playgrounds. (For the record, the double name honors a relative, Milton Romney, and the hotel magnate and fellow Mormon J. Willard Marriott, Mitt's father's best friend.) So why not "Will"? Or even "Milt"? Why the inevitable association with fingerless hand coverings? And why, oh why, are the sins of the grandfather visited on the grandson? Why did Mitt name one of his five sons Tagg? Because he's It?"
Now - having read this - if you can still consider voting for this fagot - i would suggest shaving your ass and walking backwards -- hand in hand with your wife and kids - Biffy Buffy and Muffy = off a fucking cliff onto some rocks into the ocean near your seaside vacation home.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Clarence "Porno" Thomas Does It Again
So guess who was one of the two Supremo Court Justices to vote against allowing judges to use their discretion, regarding the federal minimum sentencing guidelines when ruling on crack cocaine sentences (which have been set as one-hundred times the penalties for powdered cocaine).
This draconian law has resulted in thousands of young black, non violent first offenders being locked up for long prison terms for the same crimes that allow mostly white "suburban sniffers" to get off with probation.
Clarence Thomas' rulings have done more damage to the social progress of black Americans than any "Jim Crow" redneck - it's a fucking shame that this bum squeaked through the nominating process by one lousy vote and wound up in a lifetime position to act out his pathology against his own people. (His warped social and emotional development have been extensively documented on this blog)
I hope every member of the Senate judiciary committee who voted for his nomination dies and comes back as a crack addict - in the meantime it's time to start a movement for continuing mass protests against Thomas - we can't fire him but we can sure sit outside his home and office with our signs "Hey Clarence - What porno Tape You Watchin Tonight?"
And i know professor Anita Hill will be marching right along with us.
This draconian law has resulted in thousands of young black, non violent first offenders being locked up for long prison terms for the same crimes that allow mostly white "suburban sniffers" to get off with probation.
Clarence Thomas' rulings have done more damage to the social progress of black Americans than any "Jim Crow" redneck - it's a fucking shame that this bum squeaked through the nominating process by one lousy vote and wound up in a lifetime position to act out his pathology against his own people. (His warped social and emotional development have been extensively documented on this blog)
I hope every member of the Senate judiciary committee who voted for his nomination dies and comes back as a crack addict - in the meantime it's time to start a movement for continuing mass protests against Thomas - we can't fire him but we can sure sit outside his home and office with our signs "Hey Clarence - What porno Tape You Watchin Tonight?"
And i know professor Anita Hill will be marching right along with us.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Everything You Need To Know About Muslim Justice
By AYAAN HIRSI ALI
Published: December 7, 2007
The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication, flog each of them with 100 stripes: Let no compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. (Koran 24:2)
IN the last few weeks, in three widely publicized episodes, we have seen Islamic justice enacted in ways that should make Muslim moderates rise up in horror.
A 20-year-old woman from Qatif, Saudi Arabia, reported that she had been abducted by several men and repeatedly raped. But judges found the victim herself to be guilty. Her crime is called “mingling”: when she was abducted, she was in a car with a man not related to her by blood or marriage, and in Saudi Arabia, that is illegal. Last month, she was sentenced to six months in prison and 200 lashes with a bamboo cane.
Two hundred lashes are enough to kill a strong man. Women usually receive no more than 30 lashes at a time, which means that for seven weeks the “girl from Qatif,” as she’s usually described in news articles, will dread her next session with Islamic justice. When she is released, her life will certainly never return to normal: already there have been reports that her brother has tried to kill her because her “crime” has tarnished her family’s honor.
We also saw Islamic justice in action in Sudan, when a 54-year-old British teacher named Gillian Gibbons was sentenced to 15 days in jail before the government pardoned her this week; she could have faced 40 lashes. When she began a reading project with her class involving a teddy bear, Ms. Gibbons suggested the children choose a name for it. They chose Muhammad; she let them do it. This was deemed to be blasphemy.
Then there’s Taslima Nasreen, the 45-year-old Bangladeshi writer who bravely defends women’s rights in the Muslim world. Forced to flee Bangladesh, she has been living in India. But Muslim groups there want her expelled, and one has offered 500,000 rupees for her head. In August she was assaulted by Muslim militants in Hyderabad, and in recent weeks she has had to leave Calcutta and then Rajasthan. Taslima Nasreen’s visa expires next year, and she fears she will not be allowed to live in India again.
It is often said that Islam has been “hijacked” by a small extremist group of radical fundamentalists. The vast majority of Muslims are said to be moderates.
But where are the moderates? Where are the Muslim voices raised over the terrible injustice of incidents like these? How many Muslims are willing to stand up and say, in the case of the girl from Qatif, that this manner of justice is appalling, brutal and bigoted — and that no matter who said it was the right thing to do, and how long ago it was said, this should no longer be done?
Usually, Muslim groups like the Organization of the Islamic Conference are quick to defend any affront to the image of Islam. The organization, which represents 57 Muslim states, sent four ambassadors to the leader of my political party in the Netherlands asking him to expel me from Parliament after I gave a newspaper interview in 2003 noting that by Western standards some of the Prophet Muhammad’s behavior would be unconscionable. A few years later, Muslim ambassadors to Denmark protested the cartoons of Muhammad and demanded that their perpetrators be prosecuted.
But while the incidents in Saudi Arabia, Sudan and India have done more to damage the image of Islamic justice than a dozen cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad, the organizations that lined up to protest the hideous Danish offense to Islam are quiet now.
I wish there were more Islamic moderates. For example, I would welcome some guidance from that famous Muslim theologian of moderation, Tariq Ramadan. But when there is true suffering, real cruelty in the name of Islam, we hear, first, denial from all these organizations that are so concerned about Islam’s image. We hear that violence is not in the Koran, that Islam means peace, that this is a hijacking by extremists and a smear campaign and so on. But the evidence mounts up.
Islamic justice is a proud institution, one to which more than a billion people subscribe, at least in theory, and in the heart of the Islamic world it is the law of the land. But take a look at the verse above: more compelling even than the order to flog adulterers is the command that the believer show no compassion. It is this order to choose Allah above his sense of conscience and compassion that imprisons the Muslim in a mindset that is archaic and extreme.
If moderate Muslims believe there should be no compassion shown to the girl from Qatif, then what exactly makes them so moderate?
When a “moderate” Muslim’s sense of compassion and conscience collides with matters prescribed by Allah, he should choose compassion. Unless that happens much more widely, a moderate Islam will remain wishful thinking.
Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a former member of the Dutch Parliament and a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, is the author of “Infidel.”
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Visa Announces Shop Only - "Shop Till You Drop" Card
Want to get that "shopper's high" without actually spending a dime?
Get that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption ?
Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your 'Junk" like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery?
Well with Visa's "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee --ten thousand dollars worth of "buy only" credits cost a paltry fifty bucks (and you can get up to one -hundred thousand dollars credits for about three hundred dollars) with high interest easy credit terms of course.
So shop away! - You check out the goods just like you were actually buying them -- the clerk says thank you - and you leave without the merchandise, but aglow with that "special shoppers high" that really has nothing to do with needing or even wanting most of "the stuff" anyway.
And for a small extra fee the clerk will provide you with an assortment of boxes with the details of what you "shopped" so you can arrive at home and go over all your "shopped only purchases" with your family and even wrap and put them under the tree if you like. (and then you get another "fix" for free when you open them.)
And -- you can give these "Shopped Only"gifts for any and all occasions - "Oh look what the Nelson's "Shopped" us for our housewarming (your friend unwraps and reads the gift description ) - "A beautiful Tiffany bowl".
And the whole nature of consumerism will change - and life as we know it - and the social and political and economic and cultural impact will be staggering!
Remember - it's "The thought that counts" - so get your Visa "Shop Till You Drop" card -- get high - and change the world! --For peanuts!
Get that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption ?
Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your 'Junk" like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery?
Well with Visa's "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee --ten thousand dollars worth of "buy only" credits cost a paltry fifty bucks (and you can get up to one -hundred thousand dollars credits for about three hundred dollars) with high interest easy credit terms of course.
So shop away! - You check out the goods just like you were actually buying them -- the clerk says thank you - and you leave without the merchandise, but aglow with that "special shoppers high" that really has nothing to do with needing or even wanting most of "the stuff" anyway.
And for a small extra fee the clerk will provide you with an assortment of boxes with the details of what you "shopped" so you can arrive at home and go over all your "shopped only purchases" with your family and even wrap and put them under the tree if you like. (and then you get another "fix" for free when you open them.)
And -- you can give these "Shopped Only"gifts for any and all occasions - "Oh look what the Nelson's "Shopped" us for our housewarming (your friend unwraps and reads the gift description ) - "A beautiful Tiffany bowl".
And the whole nature of consumerism will change - and life as we know it - and the social and political and economic and cultural impact will be staggering!
Remember - it's "The thought that counts" - so get your Visa "Shop Till You Drop" card -- get high - and change the world! --For peanuts!
Monday, December 03, 2007
The World's Women Need A "Thelma and Louse" Reaction
In Saudi Arabia, a woman who was gang-raped was sentenced to 90 lashes. The reason? Before the rape, the woman, who was then 19, had been in a car with a man who was not a family member — a crime under the kingdom’s legal code, which is based on a strict Wahabi reading of Islamic law. Punishing the victim of a brutal rape is reprehensible. Then a Saudi appeals court more than doubled her lashings to 200 and added six months’ jail time, apparently because she had the audacity to publicly challenge the court’s ruling. Her lawyer had his license to practice suspended.
Any woman who is not sufficiently outraged to start a world wide revolution over the way most Muslim's treat women -- should immediately have her tubes tied!
Boycotts -- political activism -- withholding pussy favors from men and even male castration are what may be necessary to stop the oppression of tens of millions of totally innocent and vulnerable women from these sick fucks who go to the Mosque four times a day and then come home and kick their wives around in front of their children.
Look - the world's men aren't doing (and won't do) shit to help you! They're out fucking younger women and drinking in sports bars and would rather be hunting and fishing and even working - than getting involved in stopping women from getting lashed in Saudi Arabia.
Hell - it's not long ago that they were burning scarlett letters onto womens tits for crimes that they commited with young boys before breakfast every day - and if it wasn't for some really brave sisters you still wouldn't have suffrage ( let alone the pill and a job).
So until you turn up the heat - use your bigger brains and stronger wills and turn into a world wide army of "Thelma and Louise's" -- poor pathetic gals like that one in Saudi Arabia are going to keep getting ruined by subhuman male scumbags.
Go get em -- here's a rallying cry "No Support - No Vote and No Pussy"
Any woman who is not sufficiently outraged to start a world wide revolution over the way most Muslim's treat women -- should immediately have her tubes tied!
Boycotts -- political activism -- withholding pussy favors from men and even male castration are what may be necessary to stop the oppression of tens of millions of totally innocent and vulnerable women from these sick fucks who go to the Mosque four times a day and then come home and kick their wives around in front of their children.
Look - the world's men aren't doing (and won't do) shit to help you! They're out fucking younger women and drinking in sports bars and would rather be hunting and fishing and even working - than getting involved in stopping women from getting lashed in Saudi Arabia.
Hell - it's not long ago that they were burning scarlett letters onto womens tits for crimes that they commited with young boys before breakfast every day - and if it wasn't for some really brave sisters you still wouldn't have suffrage ( let alone the pill and a job).
So until you turn up the heat - use your bigger brains and stronger wills and turn into a world wide army of "Thelma and Louise's" -- poor pathetic gals like that one in Saudi Arabia are going to keep getting ruined by subhuman male scumbags.
Go get em -- here's a rallying cry "No Support - No Vote and No Pussy"
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Bill Richardson Just Loves To Kill Animals
Yep -this cherubic presidential candidate who likes to come across as an avuncular mix of Will Rogers and Mark Twain, when he's in a national TV debate -- just loves to tell his downhome redneck audiences that he is the only presidential candidate who loves to hunt and is a card carrying member of the NRA.
He's your chubby uncle Billie when he's on the national stage -- but out there in shit-for brains-land he reverts to his gun totin animal killin nature.
I was hoping that some pimply faced You Tuber would have asked him; "Hey Bill - why do you get so stoked on shooting some beautiful wild creature with a high powered rifle -- clearly you haven't missed any meals lately - is it that short dick complex thing?"
Well, i can think of a lot of things that the world could use right now -- but another asshole who likes to sit in his den oiling up his Winchester whilst dreaming of a high caliber slug ripping it's way into some animal nibbling on some berries - ain't one of them.
Actually -- i would like to see Bill Richardson's asshole impaled on the horns of an Antelope out there in New Mexico - where God willing he will remain.
He's your chubby uncle Billie when he's on the national stage -- but out there in shit-for brains-land he reverts to his gun totin animal killin nature.
I was hoping that some pimply faced You Tuber would have asked him; "Hey Bill - why do you get so stoked on shooting some beautiful wild creature with a high powered rifle -- clearly you haven't missed any meals lately - is it that short dick complex thing?"
Well, i can think of a lot of things that the world could use right now -- but another asshole who likes to sit in his den oiling up his Winchester whilst dreaming of a high caliber slug ripping it's way into some animal nibbling on some berries - ain't one of them.
Actually -- i would like to see Bill Richardson's asshole impaled on the horns of an Antelope out there in New Mexico - where God willing he will remain.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Muhammad Is NO Teddy Bear!
KHARTOUM, Sudan - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear "Muhammad."
Now - nothing could more vividly demonstrate what the Civilized world is up against more than this frightening demonstration of Religious faith gone totally wacko!
Illiterate angry masses of exploited human animals brought to a frenzy of hatred by psycho religious leaders is business as usual in the history of the human ape . The problem now, however, is that instead of stones they have modern weapons including weapons of mass destruction.
Now you don't see any riots in Sudan over Dar fur where cutting off a child's arms is what you do before lunch and then you go out and burn a village and torture and rape some folks and then take a long nap.
These folks are very faithful though. They are so faithful that ninety percent of them can't read or write so they don't even know what the Koran means - they just chant away and listen to their Mullahs demented interpretations of it. They would believe Mohammad WAS a Teddy Bear if that's what they were told -- and then they would try to hack you to death for calling him a "Great Spiritual Leader"
All the Imams would have to scream is"Kill the infidel! -she called Mohammad a great spiritual leader! --Cut out her pussy and drag it through the streets ! --let the children see the torn pussy of the Infidel who called Mohammad "A Great Spiritual Leader".
Well at least it's all very clear now (in case it wasn't before) -in America we buy Teddy Bears for our kids for Christmas -- but the Muslims would cut out your intestines at the thought that someone could portray Mohammad as cute and adorable and fuzzy.
Can you imagine, even one of Christianity's major wackos, like John Hagee, screaming; "Kill all the Jews - Moyshe Pipick, an orthodox Rabbi had a stuffed Sea Otter named Jesus in his Talmud class."
And then the Christians taking to the streets like animals with torches and pitch forks hunting down and killing Jews? -- Heck, they stopped doing that sixty years ago.
Why doesn't some smart toy maker come out with next years hot item for Ramadan? -- An ignorant vicious Muslim moron doll with a suicide belt - and with a sword and a Barbie with a detachable head for the kids to practice cutting off.
I only want ten percent for this great marketing concept -- Sent to my bank care of Sal man Rushdie.
Oh -and I'm gonna have to switch,sadly, to Rudy for president - one good wacko deserves another.
Now - nothing could more vividly demonstrate what the Civilized world is up against more than this frightening demonstration of Religious faith gone totally wacko!
Illiterate angry masses of exploited human animals brought to a frenzy of hatred by psycho religious leaders is business as usual in the history of the human ape . The problem now, however, is that instead of stones they have modern weapons including weapons of mass destruction.
Now you don't see any riots in Sudan over Dar fur where cutting off a child's arms is what you do before lunch and then you go out and burn a village and torture and rape some folks and then take a long nap.
These folks are very faithful though. They are so faithful that ninety percent of them can't read or write so they don't even know what the Koran means - they just chant away and listen to their Mullahs demented interpretations of it. They would believe Mohammad WAS a Teddy Bear if that's what they were told -- and then they would try to hack you to death for calling him a "Great Spiritual Leader"
All the Imams would have to scream is"Kill the infidel! -she called Mohammad a great spiritual leader! --Cut out her pussy and drag it through the streets ! --let the children see the torn pussy of the Infidel who called Mohammad "A Great Spiritual Leader".
Well at least it's all very clear now (in case it wasn't before) -in America we buy Teddy Bears for our kids for Christmas -- but the Muslims would cut out your intestines at the thought that someone could portray Mohammad as cute and adorable and fuzzy.
Can you imagine, even one of Christianity's major wackos, like John Hagee, screaming; "Kill all the Jews - Moyshe Pipick, an orthodox Rabbi had a stuffed Sea Otter named Jesus in his Talmud class."
And then the Christians taking to the streets like animals with torches and pitch forks hunting down and killing Jews? -- Heck, they stopped doing that sixty years ago.
Why doesn't some smart toy maker come out with next years hot item for Ramadan? -- An ignorant vicious Muslim moron doll with a suicide belt - and with a sword and a Barbie with a detachable head for the kids to practice cutting off.
I only want ten percent for this great marketing concept -- Sent to my bank care of Sal man Rushdie.
Oh -and I'm gonna have to switch,sadly, to Rudy for president - one good wacko deserves another.
Britney Spears Endorses Mitt Romney "The Mormon Moose" For President
Britney Spears has finally made her long awaited decision about who she thinks should become president and has announced her support for Republican candidate (and Mormon) -- Mitt Romney (former governor of Massachusetts).
"This was a very difficult decision for me", said Britney, as she lounged by her pool in Miami waiting for her plastic surgeon to arrive and repair her right nipple which had fallen off overnight (the result of twelve breast implants).
"The Moron -oops Mormon thing worried me at first but when i found out that they believe in having many wives (at the same time) i figured that they must really know how to take care of a woman -- and i need a lot of care."
"Also - he's such a stud puppy -so tall and handsome and still has got that 'daddy spank me' thing going for him --and now that he's against abortions i really am convinced he's the one because i've had twenty eight abortions now and believe you me that gets real old after a while."
She continued,"Also, i think it's sooo cool that he puts his dog in a cage on the top of his car when his family goes on a trip. My mom and dad used to tie me to the roof of the car when i was little,whenever we went on a road trip -- and sometimes they would even leave me out overnight --it was sooo cool --and made me feel soooo secure."
"I'm kinda disappointed that i couldn't get Michael (Jackson) to come out for Mitt but ever since he saw Rudy Giuliani in a dress on SNL he just loves Rudy - although he thinks his wife is a real cunt, so maybe i can turn him around."(oops a pun)
"Well -anyhow - i plan on working real hard for Mitt - and hope maybe he'll get a little hard for me - haha -- he sure is a tall sexy hunk --i bet he's hung like a Moose -- ha ha --a Mormon Moose!"
Stay tuned for more of the bandit's celebrity endorsements -- because every vote counts!
"This was a very difficult decision for me", said Britney, as she lounged by her pool in Miami waiting for her plastic surgeon to arrive and repair her right nipple which had fallen off overnight (the result of twelve breast implants).
"The Moron -oops Mormon thing worried me at first but when i found out that they believe in having many wives (at the same time) i figured that they must really know how to take care of a woman -- and i need a lot of care."
"Also - he's such a stud puppy -so tall and handsome and still has got that 'daddy spank me' thing going for him --and now that he's against abortions i really am convinced he's the one because i've had twenty eight abortions now and believe you me that gets real old after a while."
She continued,"Also, i think it's sooo cool that he puts his dog in a cage on the top of his car when his family goes on a trip. My mom and dad used to tie me to the roof of the car when i was little,whenever we went on a road trip -- and sometimes they would even leave me out overnight --it was sooo cool --and made me feel soooo secure."
"I'm kinda disappointed that i couldn't get Michael (Jackson) to come out for Mitt but ever since he saw Rudy Giuliani in a dress on SNL he just loves Rudy - although he thinks his wife is a real cunt, so maybe i can turn him around."(oops a pun)
"Well -anyhow - i plan on working real hard for Mitt - and hope maybe he'll get a little hard for me - haha -- he sure is a tall sexy hunk --i bet he's hung like a Moose -- ha ha --a Mormon Moose!"
Stay tuned for more of the bandit's celebrity endorsements -- because every vote counts!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Answer These Questions If You've Got The Grapes
"Asking the important questions — not
So CNN chose which questions would be asked in the Republican debate last night. And guess what: not one question about health care, the central domestic issue for this election.
They did, however, include a question about putting a man on Mars"
So said the NYTimes -- So i guess I'll just have to submit another list of the Digibandit's key questions -and judging from your reactions to my prior blog on this subject -- i really struck a chord with my tens of thousands of loyal and bright readers -- so here's round two:
What is the most critical issue that you have ever changed your mind about after careful deliberation? (elaborate)
If you found your adult son or daughter performing oral sex on a minor what would you do?
If you were assassinated during your Presidency would you want your wife to remarry?
Have you ever been intimate with a minority (including a Jew)?
Do you believe that killing over two-hundred thousand Iraqi civilians and displacing four million was justified in a moral, means /ends equation?
How many times in the past month did you have sex (from all sources)?
Do you think that Allah is on an equally Godly footing with Yaweh? (Buddha? - Krishna? -- The Tooth Fairy?)
What is your favorite charity?
If your wife or daughter were gang raped by Hasidic Jews would you allow them to have an abortion? (by Blacks? - Hispanics?)
Do you believe that vibrators can be an effective source of sexual stimulation? (does the Mrs. indulge?)
Has a minority ever been a guest in your home (who and when?)
Have you ever killed a wild animal? (why?)
Are any of your children taking prescription anti-depressants?
Do you believe that Ahmadinejad is a normal human being? (Hugo Chavez?)
More to come!
So CNN chose which questions would be asked in the Republican debate last night. And guess what: not one question about health care, the central domestic issue for this election.
They did, however, include a question about putting a man on Mars"
So said the NYTimes -- So i guess I'll just have to submit another list of the Digibandit's key questions -and judging from your reactions to my prior blog on this subject -- i really struck a chord with my tens of thousands of loyal and bright readers -- so here's round two:
What is the most critical issue that you have ever changed your mind about after careful deliberation? (elaborate)
If you found your adult son or daughter performing oral sex on a minor what would you do?
If you were assassinated during your Presidency would you want your wife to remarry?
Have you ever been intimate with a minority (including a Jew)?
Do you believe that killing over two-hundred thousand Iraqi civilians and displacing four million was justified in a moral, means /ends equation?
How many times in the past month did you have sex (from all sources)?
Do you think that Allah is on an equally Godly footing with Yaweh? (Buddha? - Krishna? -- The Tooth Fairy?)
What is your favorite charity?
If your wife or daughter were gang raped by Hasidic Jews would you allow them to have an abortion? (by Blacks? - Hispanics?)
Do you believe that vibrators can be an effective source of sexual stimulation? (does the Mrs. indulge?)
Has a minority ever been a guest in your home (who and when?)
Have you ever killed a wild animal? (why?)
Are any of your children taking prescription anti-depressants?
Do you believe that Ahmadinejad is a normal human being? (Hugo Chavez?)
More to come!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Now -How About Bush Taking Off HIS Uniform - Before It's Too Late
Will someone -- anyone -- tell me why the President of the United States is also the Commander In Chief of the armed forces?
"It's because you gotta have someone at the top who is not part of the Military establishment and someone who has the final say in an emergency" says my fucking idiot brother.
Let me get this straight -- the shit really hits the fan - like George Bush gets a call from some General (think Sterling Hayden in "Dr. Strangelove") -- "Hello Mr. President -we have confirmed satellite reports that Russia has just started fueling it's new MIR SS19 nuclear missiles --could you please toddle over to the war Room?"
Now i can think of a few scenarios i might prefer to empowering a guy with zero knowledge (i mean zero) of military strategy -who gets his best advice from the son of God who resides in heaven -who was formerly on Earth - and who takes a personal interest in his welfare- and will now maybe whisper in his ear "Go destroy civilization - better hurry - and we'll worry about it later."
One alternative might be a standing group of tough - smart - balanced individuals -- pre evaluated and selected and ordained by the Democratic process (with all the evaluation tools brought to bear in the selection process commensurate with the awesome responsibility being delegated) - with the power to evaluate such a crisis in an immediate time frame -- and empowered to act!
Or would you prefer George Bush down on his knees in the White House Chapel --rosary in hand -staring up at a wooden idol - crying "Oh thank you Lord Jesus --thank you so much - i look forward to seeing you in Heaven within the next couple of hours --Laura and the kids say hi -- and yes I'll tell the Jews to convert right away so they won't all be sent to hell with the Russians -- yes --I'll tell John Hagee right away -- oh thank you so much Jesus - oh and hey what's the weather like up there?"
Well -- you get the idea -and if you think it can't happen i would suggest you just keep on shopping right until the end --one more swipe of your last credit card before the you head for the big shopping mall in the sky --Merry Christmas -- adios!
"It's because you gotta have someone at the top who is not part of the Military establishment and someone who has the final say in an emergency" says my fucking idiot brother.
Let me get this straight -- the shit really hits the fan - like George Bush gets a call from some General (think Sterling Hayden in "Dr. Strangelove") -- "Hello Mr. President -we have confirmed satellite reports that Russia has just started fueling it's new MIR SS19 nuclear missiles --could you please toddle over to the war Room?"
Now i can think of a few scenarios i might prefer to empowering a guy with zero knowledge (i mean zero) of military strategy -who gets his best advice from the son of God who resides in heaven -who was formerly on Earth - and who takes a personal interest in his welfare- and will now maybe whisper in his ear "Go destroy civilization - better hurry - and we'll worry about it later."
One alternative might be a standing group of tough - smart - balanced individuals -- pre evaluated and selected and ordained by the Democratic process (with all the evaluation tools brought to bear in the selection process commensurate with the awesome responsibility being delegated) - with the power to evaluate such a crisis in an immediate time frame -- and empowered to act!
Or would you prefer George Bush down on his knees in the White House Chapel --rosary in hand -staring up at a wooden idol - crying "Oh thank you Lord Jesus --thank you so much - i look forward to seeing you in Heaven within the next couple of hours --Laura and the kids say hi -- and yes I'll tell the Jews to convert right away so they won't all be sent to hell with the Russians -- yes --I'll tell John Hagee right away -- oh thank you so much Jesus - oh and hey what's the weather like up there?"
Well -- you get the idea -and if you think it can't happen i would suggest you just keep on shopping right until the end --one more swipe of your last credit card before the you head for the big shopping mall in the sky --Merry Christmas -- adios!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Here's Some Boring Bullshit I Just Had To get Off My Chest
After watching an hour of Bill Moyers grind away at how we were all misled about Iraq having WMD and led into a thuggish invasion by the neocons - i went and puked on my lemon tree in splendid Hollywood and decided it was time to rant a little on this issue.
One - what with just having a bunch of religious wackos give us a wake up call about how bright our future looked - and with one of the most pathological and fascist tyrants on the planet refusing to come forward and offer proof that he wasn't trying to match his "Death To America" rhetoric with WMD proliferation - we all were a little nervous.
Two - the idea of getting rid of him and his murderous cronies and liberating the intellect and spirit and industry of a huge - but oppressed mostly secular, Iraqi middle class -- and maybe changing the paradigm of middle east dystopia - seemed like a noble and prudent enterprise.
Three - how could anyone have guessed that our leaders would have absolutely no insight into the seething sectarian hell we were about to unleash - and that the debathification -- the dismissing of the army - the unsecuring of enough modern weapons to supply every Iraqi wacko for a generation - and a total misjudgement about the number of troops needed to deal with the chaos -and the total incompetence and corruption of the Iraqi leadership -and that the Bushies would assign the most critical reconstruction and oversight duties to people who's qualification was compatible ideology instead of competence .
(which as it turns out is the ultimate lesson of the last eight years - INCOMPETENCE - which is why the number one issue for the next election should be COMPETENCE).
So - it never was solely about WMD ! We didn't know!- We knew we didn't know!
And that was reason enough - considering Saddam's history and the long term potential to eliminate his regime and give Iraqis a real shot at a life -and the potential to remodel the region; to take him out.(unless you think the collateral damage/innocent bystanders moral issue trumps all other considerations -- in which case you should start a revolution or shut the fuck up about it).
It doesn't piss me off that they didn't just say that - after all they are dealing with a public that is basically ignorant and delusional with belligerent rednecks one one side of the aisle and queer liberal cultural relativists on the other. And in the middle -- pretty much politically anethesized.
That's it -- Hope you had a great black Friday and have a great Internet Monday - and shop till you drop!
One - what with just having a bunch of religious wackos give us a wake up call about how bright our future looked - and with one of the most pathological and fascist tyrants on the planet refusing to come forward and offer proof that he wasn't trying to match his "Death To America" rhetoric with WMD proliferation - we all were a little nervous.
Two - the idea of getting rid of him and his murderous cronies and liberating the intellect and spirit and industry of a huge - but oppressed mostly secular, Iraqi middle class -- and maybe changing the paradigm of middle east dystopia - seemed like a noble and prudent enterprise.
Three - how could anyone have guessed that our leaders would have absolutely no insight into the seething sectarian hell we were about to unleash - and that the debathification -- the dismissing of the army - the unsecuring of enough modern weapons to supply every Iraqi wacko for a generation - and a total misjudgement about the number of troops needed to deal with the chaos -and the total incompetence and corruption of the Iraqi leadership -and that the Bushies would assign the most critical reconstruction and oversight duties to people who's qualification was compatible ideology instead of competence .
(which as it turns out is the ultimate lesson of the last eight years - INCOMPETENCE - which is why the number one issue for the next election should be COMPETENCE).
So - it never was solely about WMD ! We didn't know!- We knew we didn't know!
And that was reason enough - considering Saddam's history and the long term potential to eliminate his regime and give Iraqis a real shot at a life -and the potential to remodel the region; to take him out.(unless you think the collateral damage/innocent bystanders moral issue trumps all other considerations -- in which case you should start a revolution or shut the fuck up about it).
It doesn't piss me off that they didn't just say that - after all they are dealing with a public that is basically ignorant and delusional with belligerent rednecks one one side of the aisle and queer liberal cultural relativists on the other. And in the middle -- pretty much politically anethesized.
That's it -- Hope you had a great black Friday and have a great Internet Monday - and shop till you drop!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Here's some No Bullshit Questions For The Presidential Candidates
When you die do you believe you will have an actual face to face meeting with God?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you think the average homosexual is normal?
What is your attitude towards oral and anal sex?
What is your deepest insight into existence?
Do you believe that an embryo is a life and that killing one is murder and why?
What is your favorite book (fiction and non fiction)?
If you found out your wife gave another man a blow job would you leave her? (Hillary has dealt with this issue)
If you farted loudly in a meeting with your cabinet - what would you say?
Tell your favorite joke!
When is the last time you cried?
If you found out one of your children was a pedophile would you turn him in?
Can atheists be considered moral?
Would you approve of one of your children marrying a black person? (Obama must also answer)
Do you believe in pre-marital sex?
Have you ever had a hand job outside the home?
Have you ever been in a physical fight? (describe circumstances and outcome)
When is the last time you said Fuck?
Do you believe Clarence Thomas is normal?
Do you believe that the Pope is infallible?
More to follow - any suggestions?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you think the average homosexual is normal?
What is your attitude towards oral and anal sex?
What is your deepest insight into existence?
Do you believe that an embryo is a life and that killing one is murder and why?
What is your favorite book (fiction and non fiction)?
If you found out your wife gave another man a blow job would you leave her? (Hillary has dealt with this issue)
If you farted loudly in a meeting with your cabinet - what would you say?
Tell your favorite joke!
When is the last time you cried?
If you found out one of your children was a pedophile would you turn him in?
Can atheists be considered moral?
Would you approve of one of your children marrying a black person? (Obama must also answer)
Do you believe in pre-marital sex?
Have you ever had a hand job outside the home?
Have you ever been in a physical fight? (describe circumstances and outcome)
When is the last time you said Fuck?
Do you believe Clarence Thomas is normal?
Do you believe that the Pope is infallible?
More to follow - any suggestions?
Here's Some Really Important Questions For Presidential The Candidates
When you die do you believe you will have an actual face to face meeting with God?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you think the average homosexual is normal?
What is your attitude towards oral and anal sex?
What is your deepest insight into existence?
Do you believe that an embryo is a life and that killing one is murder and why?
What is your favorite book (fiction and non fiction)?
If you found out your wife gave another man a blow job would you leave her? (Hillary has dealt with this issue)
If you farted loudly in a meeting with your cabinet - what would you say?
Tell your favorite joke!
When is the last time you cried?
If you found out one of your children was a pedophile would you turn him in?
Can atheists be considered moral?
Would you approve of one of your children marrying a black person? (Obama must also answer)
Do you believe in pre-marital sex?
Have you ever had a hand job outside the home?
Have you ever been in a physical fight? (describe circumstances and outcome)
When is the last time you said Fuck?
Do you believe Clarence Thomas is normal?
Do you believe that the Pope is infallible?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you think the average homosexual is normal?
What is your attitude towards oral and anal sex?
What is your deepest insight into existence?
Do you believe that an embryo is a life and that killing one is murder and why?
What is your favorite book (fiction and non fiction)?
If you found out your wife gave another man a blow job would you leave her? (Hillary has dealt with this issue)
If you farted loudly in a meeting with your cabinet - what would you say?
Tell your favorite joke!
When is the last time you cried?
If you found out one of your children was a pedophile would you turn him in?
Can atheists be considered moral?
Would you approve of one of your children marrying a black person? (Obama must also answer)
Do you believe in pre-marital sex?
Have you ever had a hand job outside the home?
Have you ever been in a physical fight? (describe circumstances and outcome)
When is the last time you said Fuck?
Do you believe Clarence Thomas is normal?
Do you believe that the Pope is infallible?
Friday, November 23, 2007
We Get Better Pussy Than Brad Pitt!
You know --i just realized something! i picked up this Australian chick in a club on Sunset Boulevard last night and as i lay in bed looking at her this morning it came (pun -sorry) to me in a flash! --This babe is twice as hot as Angela or Jennifer!(off screen)
Holy shit! --I get better pussy than Brad Pitt!No Ferrari - No house on the beach in Malibu - No fifty million in the bank account -- No celebrity status -- Just me and my average size Jewish prick and a few good moves !
Then i began thinking about all the nasty dysfunctional star assholes i catch a glimpse of -- all these macho celebs -- crying about their nasty star babes all over the covers of the tabloids.I'm checking out at Ralph's with a BBQ chicken for dinner while they are out wining and dining their wacko wives and girlfriends - and then buying them jewelry to get laid while getting their balls broken by these chicks - who i wouldn't fuck with their dicks!Wow!
I jumped out of bed and called my buddy Lee -- "Lee" i said! -- 'Would you fuck Katie Holmes?" -- he asked me what i was smoking and replied; "Not with your cock!
"Wow! -- what a revelation! -- now here is Tom Cruise who is a super star worth mega millions and even though he's a midget and a cult fanatic you know this guy could fuck the hottest babes on earth every night of the week and he winds up with a nagging average ugly babe who breaks his balls 24/7 --duh!
The list of Star dudes who get tied down and fucked over by average ugly superstar babes is mind blowing -- i can't get over it! -- I know fat guys living in the Antelope Valley without a pot to piss in who get better pussy than John Beckham. My pal Ernie Greenblatt ( one of the aforementioned fat guys) fucks chicks that bury that bony spice girl moron; and they are cool chicks who love to laugh and can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!
What the hell my male brothers? -- What gives here? --What's wrong with you star dudes? -- You definitely need help!Hey -- how about a reality show? -- "Average Guys Who Get Hotter Pussy Than The Stars"
This is an epiphany! -- I feel like Abraham must have when God spoke to him in the desert for the first time!I get better pussy than Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and Russel Crowe and George Clooney -- and YOU probably do too!
Holy shit! --I get better pussy than Brad Pitt!No Ferrari - No house on the beach in Malibu - No fifty million in the bank account -- No celebrity status -- Just me and my average size Jewish prick and a few good moves !
Then i began thinking about all the nasty dysfunctional star assholes i catch a glimpse of -- all these macho celebs -- crying about their nasty star babes all over the covers of the tabloids.I'm checking out at Ralph's with a BBQ chicken for dinner while they are out wining and dining their wacko wives and girlfriends - and then buying them jewelry to get laid while getting their balls broken by these chicks - who i wouldn't fuck with their dicks!Wow!
I jumped out of bed and called my buddy Lee -- "Lee" i said! -- 'Would you fuck Katie Holmes?" -- he asked me what i was smoking and replied; "Not with your cock!
"Wow! -- what a revelation! -- now here is Tom Cruise who is a super star worth mega millions and even though he's a midget and a cult fanatic you know this guy could fuck the hottest babes on earth every night of the week and he winds up with a nagging average ugly babe who breaks his balls 24/7 --duh!
The list of Star dudes who get tied down and fucked over by average ugly superstar babes is mind blowing -- i can't get over it! -- I know fat guys living in the Antelope Valley without a pot to piss in who get better pussy than John Beckham. My pal Ernie Greenblatt ( one of the aforementioned fat guys) fucks chicks that bury that bony spice girl moron; and they are cool chicks who love to laugh and can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!
What the hell my male brothers? -- What gives here? --What's wrong with you star dudes? -- You definitely need help!Hey -- how about a reality show? -- "Average Guys Who Get Hotter Pussy Than The Stars"
This is an epiphany! -- I feel like Abraham must have when God spoke to him in the desert for the first time!I get better pussy than Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise and Russel Crowe and George Clooney -- and YOU probably do too!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving - It May Very Well Be Our Last
The Pilgrims were a bunch of religious fanatics and intolerant wackos whose principles and values we have spent over four hundred years trying to overcome .
The current crop of religious wackos is still at the table - spouting their intolerance and superstitious pipe dreams, like the mean spirited ignorant witch doctors -which they are.
Most Americans work like dogs fifty weeks a year so they can go shopping for crap and maybe get some down time and the kind of natural bliss that the Indians enjoyed 24/7.(before we slaughtered em and turned their culture into a gambling casino).
The planet is becoming a dump - one billion people live on less than a dollar a day and another one billion are food and water deprived -and the perpetual tribal killing machines that we human primates are, now have ubiquitous weapons of mass destruction (tick- tick -tick).
And - we human apes have now given birth to a deadly virus for which there is no immunity and no escape - religous fanaticks who worship death - who have access to weapons of mass destruction.
The perfect storm has blown across the land -- a cyclone of tribal hatred and nihilism - with no end in sight except - THE END!
So get up early, pop a prozac, and get on over to Walmart and buy some more "stuff," as George Carlin used to say -- and :
Happy Thanksgiving!
The current crop of religious wackos is still at the table - spouting their intolerance and superstitious pipe dreams, like the mean spirited ignorant witch doctors -which they are.
Most Americans work like dogs fifty weeks a year so they can go shopping for crap and maybe get some down time and the kind of natural bliss that the Indians enjoyed 24/7.(before we slaughtered em and turned their culture into a gambling casino).
The planet is becoming a dump - one billion people live on less than a dollar a day and another one billion are food and water deprived -and the perpetual tribal killing machines that we human primates are, now have ubiquitous weapons of mass destruction (tick- tick -tick).
And - we human apes have now given birth to a deadly virus for which there is no immunity and no escape - religous fanaticks who worship death - who have access to weapons of mass destruction.
The perfect storm has blown across the land -- a cyclone of tribal hatred and nihilism - with no end in sight except - THE END!
So get up early, pop a prozac, and get on over to Walmart and buy some more "stuff," as George Carlin used to say -- and :
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Southern Baptists Seek New Song Book - Here's An Idea!
I heard a report onNPR radio today that the Southern Baptists are having a debate over their "Hymnal." You know those catchy tunes that they sing praising the Lord that sound like they were written by mental patients.
Yep - there's a hot debate going on between the traditional Baptists who prefer the oldy but goldy songs and the really hip Baptists that want to be more relevent for the younger members of their cult.. (the elders refer to these new songs as seven elevens because they basically say "And we should all praise the lord" and repeat it eleven times.I guess that's a Baptist attempt at satire?
Well - i just can't resist weighing in with a proposed Baptist ditty that i feel represents the spirit of how the Chritian Gospel has impacted these folks -- based, that is, on their illustrious commitment to tolerance of all humanity and their keen sense of compassion and social justice. -Here goes:
Yep - there's a hot debate going on between the traditional Baptists who prefer the oldy but goldy songs and the really hip Baptists that want to be more relevent for the younger members of their cult.. (the elders refer to these new songs as seven elevens because they basically say "And we should all praise the lord" and repeat it eleven times.I guess that's a Baptist attempt at satire?
Well - i just can't resist weighing in with a proposed Baptist ditty that i feel represents the spirit of how the Chritian Gospel has impacted these folks -- based, that is, on their illustrious commitment to tolerance of all humanity and their keen sense of compassion and social justice. -Here goes:
"Mount This!"
(a Baptist song about Jesus' "Sermon On The Mount")
What Jesus meant was Watch your ass
For Jews Niggers and Queers
They changed the Masters holy Words
Slaughter them like steers
Chorus: They changed the Masters holy words
Slaughter Them like Steers
Jesus said To love thy neighbors
Except the ones we Hate
kikes and Spics and Chinks and Niggers
Treat em all like Bait
repeat chorus
It's catchy dontcha think? - Kinda sums up their history? -The melody should probably have a strong organ background mixed with the cracking of bullwhips and screams of agony.
I only hope these folks get to ask Jesus for his reaction as soon as possible.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Candidates Should be Waterboarded As Test Of Courage
Look -in these dangerous times the most important character trait we should be looking for in our next president is cajones (balls to you gringos) - nuts -grapes or however you call em - but definitely someone who has got guts -because they will need a kickass amount of courage to deal with what's a comin -- it's gonna be right out of a Cormac McCarthy novel i'm afeared.
So --lets kill two birds with one stone! We'll have the presidential candidates undergo waterboarding to see how much they can take it relative to one another - and we also get a first hand look at how effective this procedure actually is. (fox has agreed to televise it and based on initial sponsor interest will probably make it into an ongoing reality series "The One Million Dollar Waterboarding Contest"
Personally i think it will be close between Hillary Clinton and John McCain. Hillary Clinton has got female balls and they are generally bigger than men's -- and John Mccain might just think it's like gargling with mouthwash after what he got in the Hanoi Hilton.
On the weak side it's probably John Edwards. I figure he shits his pants when they sit him in the chair.
Now - i think Rudy Giuliani is a stone pussy - but after three marriages (and that arch cunt Judith) he can probably endure a whole lot of pain. And Mitt Romney i figure is two or three seconds behind Edwards in screaming for his momma and then pissing in his pants and then offering a million bucks and his kids to be set free.(after calling his attorneys)
Obama, i believe, would try hard but would fold quickly especially after seeing Bill Richardson puke on the CIA torturer with his first gag of the water and beg to be killed.
Thompson, i believe, can take it pretty good - but I'm afraid he would definitely suffer a stroke during the torture - and wack job Dennis Kucinitch would probably refuse to participate and call the ACLU to intervene.
Now Mike (hallelujah)Huckabee is an interesting case - being a Baptist preacher, his love of being immersed in water might actually be a spiritual experience for him --i recommend instead that he be locked in a room with Christopher Hitchens for three hours and see if he can stand THAT torture.
Chris (the waffler) Dodd might be the big surprise of the event! -- I have a feeling he is used to having large objects thrust into his throat - he might use the torture as an occasion to come out of the closet? ( a breakthrough in honesty for him)
Biden and Brownback get a pass -they're in it for their resumes.(and Biden could never shut up long enough to participate anyway.
pretty clever idea --huh?
So --lets kill two birds with one stone! We'll have the presidential candidates undergo waterboarding to see how much they can take it relative to one another - and we also get a first hand look at how effective this procedure actually is. (fox has agreed to televise it and based on initial sponsor interest will probably make it into an ongoing reality series "The One Million Dollar Waterboarding Contest"
Personally i think it will be close between Hillary Clinton and John McCain. Hillary Clinton has got female balls and they are generally bigger than men's -- and John Mccain might just think it's like gargling with mouthwash after what he got in the Hanoi Hilton.
On the weak side it's probably John Edwards. I figure he shits his pants when they sit him in the chair.
Now - i think Rudy Giuliani is a stone pussy - but after three marriages (and that arch cunt Judith) he can probably endure a whole lot of pain. And Mitt Romney i figure is two or three seconds behind Edwards in screaming for his momma and then pissing in his pants and then offering a million bucks and his kids to be set free.(after calling his attorneys)
Obama, i believe, would try hard but would fold quickly especially after seeing Bill Richardson puke on the CIA torturer with his first gag of the water and beg to be killed.
Thompson, i believe, can take it pretty good - but I'm afraid he would definitely suffer a stroke during the torture - and wack job Dennis Kucinitch would probably refuse to participate and call the ACLU to intervene.
Now Mike (hallelujah)Huckabee is an interesting case - being a Baptist preacher, his love of being immersed in water might actually be a spiritual experience for him --i recommend instead that he be locked in a room with Christopher Hitchens for three hours and see if he can stand THAT torture.
Chris (the waffler) Dodd might be the big surprise of the event! -- I have a feeling he is used to having large objects thrust into his throat - he might use the torture as an occasion to come out of the closet? ( a breakthrough in honesty for him)
Biden and Brownback get a pass -they're in it for their resumes.(and Biden could never shut up long enough to participate anyway.
pretty clever idea --huh?
Monica Lewinsky's Blow Job Just Might Save The World
There is a very strong probability that Hillary Clinton will begin an eight year "rule" of America!
I say "rule" only because i recently saw the movie "Elizabeth The Golden Age" and two factors led me to a startling epiphany :
One - the timing of Queen Elizabeth's role on the world stage as the leader of an immensely powerful and progressive Empire being challenged existentially by an 'Evil Empire" driven by religious fanaticism . ( The Ayatollah Khomeini in the form of King Phillip of Spain.) - and the obvious comparison to What will confront "Queen" Hillary.
Two -- Elizabeth's dependence on her loyal and and trusted advisor -Sir Francis Walsingham (who's efforts unveil the Spanish plans to invade England with their Armada). And -- as i watched the amazing performance of Geoffrey Rush as Walsinham unfold -- i could not help but think of Bill Clinton back in the White House assuming those very same duties to save America and Queen Hillary from the evil Arabs.
The epiphany -- Hillary would not have become politically viable if the American people had not witnessed her great poise and strength during the Monica Lewinsky embarrassment. She relied on her faith in the Lord and the Christian belief in salvation and redemption (i am puking now) - to forgive Bill for his transgression -and to come through spiritually invigorated --born again. (i just threw up my socks)
And so -- the next "Ruler" Queen Hillary --with her wise advisor Sir Bill -- of the most powerful country in the world -- during a time of unprecedented challenges -- would not be poised to save the wold -- if Monica Lewinsky had not given Bill Clinton a blow job.
And what really blows (oops) my mind is that none of this would be happening -- If she swallowed properly, ( hence eliminating the telltale stain/evidence)
Now, why i made the leap from the movie to the Monica epiphany is something i will definitely have to discuss with my Rabbi. - It might have been because in the movie it's pretty clear that Elizabethh is dying to go down on Sir Walter Raleigh (who also reminded me of Bill) who winds up shtupping the Queens best friend.
Ain't life strange?
I say "rule" only because i recently saw the movie "Elizabeth The Golden Age" and two factors led me to a startling epiphany :
One - the timing of Queen Elizabeth's role on the world stage as the leader of an immensely powerful and progressive Empire being challenged existentially by an 'Evil Empire" driven by religious fanaticism . ( The Ayatollah Khomeini in the form of King Phillip of Spain.) - and the obvious comparison to What will confront "Queen" Hillary.
Two -- Elizabeth's dependence on her loyal and and trusted advisor -Sir Francis Walsingham (who's efforts unveil the Spanish plans to invade England with their Armada). And -- as i watched the amazing performance of Geoffrey Rush as Walsinham unfold -- i could not help but think of Bill Clinton back in the White House assuming those very same duties to save America and Queen Hillary from the evil Arabs.
The epiphany -- Hillary would not have become politically viable if the American people had not witnessed her great poise and strength during the Monica Lewinsky embarrassment. She relied on her faith in the Lord and the Christian belief in salvation and redemption (i am puking now) - to forgive Bill for his transgression -and to come through spiritually invigorated --born again. (i just threw up my socks)
And so -- the next "Ruler" Queen Hillary --with her wise advisor Sir Bill -- of the most powerful country in the world -- during a time of unprecedented challenges -- would not be poised to save the wold -- if Monica Lewinsky had not given Bill Clinton a blow job.
And what really blows (oops) my mind is that none of this would be happening -- If she swallowed properly, ( hence eliminating the telltale stain/evidence)
Now, why i made the leap from the movie to the Monica epiphany is something i will definitely have to discuss with my Rabbi. - It might have been because in the movie it's pretty clear that Elizabethh is dying to go down on Sir Walter Raleigh (who also reminded me of Bill) who winds up shtupping the Queens best friend.
Ain't life strange?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
US Corporate failures and Crooks Should Kill Thmselves Like Zhang Shuhong Did
BEIJING (Reuters) - The boss of a Chinese toy manufacturing company involved in a Mattel recall after its products were found to contain excessive lead levels has hanged himself, Chinese media reported on Monday.
Zhang Shuhong, a Hong Kong businessman in his 50s and boss of the Lida Toy Company in the southern province of Guangdong, was found dead in his factory workshop on Saturday, the semi-official Southern Metropolitan Daily said.
About 1.5 million preschool toys made by Lida Toy, a Foshan-based contract manufacturer for Mattel Inc.'s Fisher-Price unit, were recalled across the globe by the U.S. company last week.
Zhang is my kind of guy! No excuses and no one hundred million payout deal for fucking up. He saves the wife and kids years of listening to his recriminations and crybaby crapola - the stock holders save a huge pile of money; and the public and his financial cronies get an object lesson in real old fashioned accountability.
Hey -- Roman generals fell on their swords and Samurai warriors opened up their guts with a knife! -- The very least that those pampered failures at Enron or Citigroup or those Savings and Loan guys could do is follow the wonderful and ballsy example of Zhang Shuhong and go out and hang themselves.
And it should be mandated by the Securities and Exchange Commission that every board room of the fortune five hundred companies and all Hedge Fund executive offices have a picture prominently displayed on their wall of Zhang Shuhong swinging in the breeze. (that is, of course, until we build up a domestic rogues gallery of corporate swingers (pun))
Which one of you guys wants to be first? -- C'mon - Go out in style!
Zhang Shuhong, a Hong Kong businessman in his 50s and boss of the Lida Toy Company in the southern province of Guangdong, was found dead in his factory workshop on Saturday, the semi-official Southern Metropolitan Daily said.
About 1.5 million preschool toys made by Lida Toy, a Foshan-based contract manufacturer for Mattel Inc.'s Fisher-Price unit, were recalled across the globe by the U.S. company last week.
Zhang is my kind of guy! No excuses and no one hundred million payout deal for fucking up. He saves the wife and kids years of listening to his recriminations and crybaby crapola - the stock holders save a huge pile of money; and the public and his financial cronies get an object lesson in real old fashioned accountability.
Hey -- Roman generals fell on their swords and Samurai warriors opened up their guts with a knife! -- The very least that those pampered failures at Enron or Citigroup or those Savings and Loan guys could do is follow the wonderful and ballsy example of Zhang Shuhong and go out and hang themselves.
And it should be mandated by the Securities and Exchange Commission that every board room of the fortune five hundred companies and all Hedge Fund executive offices have a picture prominently displayed on their wall of Zhang Shuhong swinging in the breeze. (that is, of course, until we build up a domestic rogues gallery of corporate swingers (pun))
Which one of you guys wants to be first? -- C'mon - Go out in style!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Fox Announces "Green Card" Starring Paris Hilton
Once again those creative people over at Fox TV have found a way to provide a fun reality show with a positive social twist -- and also take some of the sting out of our cultural deprivation during the WGA strike.
A group of fabulous looking men and women will compete for the affection of American citizens who have agreed to marry the winners - thereby gaining them their coveted green cards and ultimately citizenship.
Paris Hilton told the bandit Hollywood reporter today; "I'm so excited about doing something worthwhile in my screwed up life - some lucky illegals will now get a chance to hump their way into American citizenship thanks to Fox TV."
She continued; "I'm like the perfect host for this cool new show and i might even marry one of those wetbacks myself if he can really light up my G spot and get my crab grass under control"
President Bush upon hearing about the show said; "Heh heh -- well, you know the Fox news channel has been called the "Bush News Network" and they always know how to arrange the news just right for us real Americanos -- and now along comes this "Green Card" show which might just be the answer to the immigration problema we've been a lookin for --hooray Fox!"
The contestants will spend a week at a resort with their potential future partners and will perform various housekeeping and landscaping and cooking and of course sex related activities.Finally there will be a lavish wedding and"Green Card"ceremonies for the lucky winners -- presided over by the Department of Immigration and Naturalization. (and Paris of course)
The President of Mexico was overheard telling an aide; "I would love to bang Paris Hilton in the burrito -- they can keep the green card"God bless Fox television and America!
Viva Fox!
A group of fabulous looking men and women will compete for the affection of American citizens who have agreed to marry the winners - thereby gaining them their coveted green cards and ultimately citizenship.
Paris Hilton told the bandit Hollywood reporter today; "I'm so excited about doing something worthwhile in my screwed up life - some lucky illegals will now get a chance to hump their way into American citizenship thanks to Fox TV."
She continued; "I'm like the perfect host for this cool new show and i might even marry one of those wetbacks myself if he can really light up my G spot and get my crab grass under control"
President Bush upon hearing about the show said; "Heh heh -- well, you know the Fox news channel has been called the "Bush News Network" and they always know how to arrange the news just right for us real Americanos -- and now along comes this "Green Card" show which might just be the answer to the immigration problema we've been a lookin for --hooray Fox!"
The contestants will spend a week at a resort with their potential future partners and will perform various housekeeping and landscaping and cooking and of course sex related activities.Finally there will be a lavish wedding and"Green Card"ceremonies for the lucky winners -- presided over by the Department of Immigration and Naturalization. (and Paris of course)
The President of Mexico was overheard telling an aide; "I would love to bang Paris Hilton in the burrito -- they can keep the green card"God bless Fox television and America!
Viva Fox!
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