xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

What Makes Hunter's Such Sick Fucks You Nobel Scientists?

The mastery of light through technology was the theme of this year’s Nobel Prize in Physics as the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences honored breakthroughs in fiber optics and digital photography.

Ok that's just great -hooray and woopedydoodaday! But -how about some of you geniuses figuring out why a guy (women don't do this) will go into the woods and try and kill a beautiful wild creature -and enjoy the living shit out of it.

Oh yeah -it's killing season again -and we all know this is NOT about hunting or needing the meat. -- It IS all about the enjoyment derived from - say - shooting an arrow into the belly of a brown Bear -and the pure enjoyment of knowing it was "YOU" who did the killing. -You sick fuck -YOU!

I mean -if you all can figure out how shit we can't even see can make the world a more efficient place - Then - why not focus a tad on whatever is going on in those sick fucking dudes' minds' who just love to maim and hurt and kill.

Who LOVE to play with guns and are totally mesmerized by the power they feel when they shoot and destroy something -anything. (even beer cans and signs and shit)

I mean -what the fuck is wrong with these pathetic fucking men?

Is it a sex thing? -A small cock thing? -some wire loose?

Come on already you Nobel Prize seekers -come up with somethin!

Imagine if we could just get rid of these fuckers in the womb!

Monday, October 05, 2009

Talaban Leader Does Stand-Up

SARAROGHA, Pakistan – Flanked by heavily armed fighters, the new leader of the Pakistani Taliban sat on a blue blanket, amiable and relaxed as he cracked jokes and mixed in threats of vengeance for deadly U.S. airstrikes.

One day later, a suicide bomber attacked a U.N. office in Islamabad.


Badda Boom! -laughs all around!


You know iv'e been wondering for some time now if any of these stone age Muslims have any sense of humor?


I mean - did you ever hear an Islamo fascist laugh or tell a joke?


Iv'e always believed that if we could tickle their funny bones in some way it might loosen things up a bit in the Middle East.


Maybe we could start with this new leader of the Talaban who seems to like a joke or two. - SO - let's put some of our best joke writers on the case and see if we can't get a dialogue going here.


"Hey Mufti! -my wife bent over to grab a fig and she farted so loud i thought it was a land mine" - "You should have seen her Burkah fly open - And it was smelling like a burning Hummer!" hahahahahahhahahhaha


"Oh Mufti - and speaking of Hummer - my wife can suck the chrome off a trailker hitch!" hahahahhahha


Oh well - you get my drift - i'll bet a guy like Larry David could have these folks peeing in their pants - And then we'd open Comedy Clubs - and who knows?


Osama might get an agent - a marriage made in heaven!


Friday, October 02, 2009

Alabama Outlaws Dildo Sex

Alabama's Supreme Court recently decided the case of 1568 Montgomery Highway Inc. — also known as Love Stuff — v. the City of Hoover. In a 7-to-2 ruling, it upheld a state law banning the sale of sex toys. The dispute may seem a bit frivolous, but it rests on a fundamental question: After the Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling striking down sodomy laws, how free is the majority to impose its morality through the law?

So the religioredneckmorons are at it again -they failed in their quest to ban sodomy - so now they're after our sex toys.

And those of us who like to work in tandum with a high powered dildo while engaging in sodomy are now in risk of some Alabama Sherrif's deputy knocking down the door and putting us under arrest.

I mean - here's some redneck deputy who get's HIS rocks off by killing beautiful animals -with a court order to arrest me while i'm in my own home slamming my old lady up the can with a dildo?

I mean - Thomas Jefferson and John Adams will be rolling over in their graves -and Benjy Franklin who is supposedly the first person to use an electrified dildo (hooked up to a kite and key in a lightening storm) will probably return from the dead if he gets wind of this shit.

Well - fortunately -I'm told that the unholy alliance on the Supremo Court of Clarence (porno) Thomas and his Godfather Scalia will probably vote to over rule the Alabama decision.

They are notorious sex toy enthusiasts (Thomas supposedly showed Scalia pictures of his white wife sucking a foot long doubleheaded dildo while he sodomized her)

What the heck is next in this wacky world?





Thursday, October 01, 2009

Folks Who Welcome Death Can't Have Nukes

It's as simple as that -and everyone knows that's the real reason we can't let these death worshipers have WMD -But no one wants to say to the Ayatollah:

'Excuse me sir -YOU can't wait to die - it will be a huge improvement over your life - So dontch'a see why we who love LIFE would be a bit concerned about you religious fanaticks having nuclear bombs. -and with your kinda bad attitude toward us Infidels?"

"I mean - we would NEVER let the Pope have nuclear weapons -and they don't want to die quite as much as you guys because at least they drink wine and fuck kids for some fun"

"I mean - you don't get high -you don't laugh - you don't eat pussy - you don't like art or any kind of creativity - you don't like dancing or music - I Mean -What the fuck!?"

"Why don't you just pass one of your many revisions of the real Koran which would allow you to fucking kill yourselves -AND jump feet first into that big pool full of Virgins WITHOUT mustaches? - And then eat some nice clean pussy and some fresh fruit and take a nice dump and wipe WITH Charmin instead of your sandy hand."

"There's GOTTA be Charmin up there wherever you all go -and even Fibrecom to relieve your horrible gas from a lifetime of eating stale figs and shit. - Imagine! -No more constipation!"

'It will be better than you even think it will be - i hear they will even let you have Chinks up there - Some nice pork fried rice and spareribs!"

"Oh and i hear that Allah and Mohammad have a special place for bigshots like you Ayatollah's and Caliphs and suicide bombers of course! - Where you can fuck guys and goats and even do some gambling -and get loaded -and just let it ALL hang out!"

"So - forget the nuclear weapons - Just fucking kill yourselves - just do it - Don't think about it - Do It!"

"And let us get on with our fun loving fucked up lives for as long as we can - and hey -take heart -soon we'll all be dead! "

" Maybe you'll let us use the pool and tennis courts?"

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

"Out With A Bang!" Plan Endorsed By AARP

Dr.Moishe Pipick - President of The AARP (Almost Alive Retired People) -which covers 68% of ALL seniors -announced today:

About $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk aboutAbout $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about

Dr. Pipick continued: "Under the 'Go Out With A Bang!" plan - If you have less than three years to live - -THen - instead of wasting away and being shlepped from one test and one Doctor to another -and then finally and inevitably expiring with your loved ones broke while watching you turn into a dead cabbage roll:

"You can "Go Out With A Bang" - Yep -we'll give you a cash payment (twenty percent of what your treatment would have been) and ALL the drugs and/or booze you want - including synthetic Viagra which will turn the clock on your libido and commensurrate libidinal organs -Back fifty years -AND access to all the Male and/or Female hookers you desire!


Pipick concluded; " The savings wil result in the average medical plan costing most folks under three -hundred dollars a year -And that's with universal coverage - including illegal aliens!"

So - "Go Out With A Bang!" (Not available to most folks under seventy five)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Glen Beck Say's Sarah Palin Has Rotton Pussy


'When i woke after a night of humping Sarah Palin - I thought for a minute that i woke up in an Eskimo fishing village after they had just finished cleaning their Salmon catch." - Said Beck after returning from Wasilla where he was shooting wolves from a helicoptor with Sarah and Todd.


He said;"I really don't find her attractive but Todd begged me to fuck her because he hurt his dick while fucking an Elk -and he said Sarah is so horny she is starting to eye her children and has already raped their old Eskimo housekeeper"

"Wow -But he didn't tell me what a rotton pussy she has! - I only hope my dick doesn't fall off?"

He concluded "Sarah needs to douche with something really strong -or maybe use some kind of flamethrower up her hole ?"

Glenn Beck Says Sarah Palin Needs To Douche

'When i woke after a night of humping Sarah Palin - I thought for a minute that i woke up in an Eskimo fishing village after they had just finished cleaning their Salmon catch." - Said Beck after returning from Wasilla where he was shooting wolves from a helicoptor with Sarah and Todd.

He said;"I really don't find her attractive but Todd begged me to fuck her because he hurt his dick while fucking an Elk -and he said Sarah is so horny she is starting to eye her children and has already raped their old Eskimo housekeeper"

"Wow -But he didn't tell me what a rotton pussy she has! - I only hope my dick doesn't fall off?"

He concluded "Sarah needs to douche with something really strong -or maybe use some kind of flamethrower up her hole ?"

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Army Recruits Will Get Balls Busted By A Real Pro

FORT JACKSON, S.C. — It may come as no surprise that the Army’s new top drill sergeant idolizes Gen. George S. Patton Jr., has jumped out of planes 33 times, aces every physical training test and drives a black Corvette with “noslack” vanity plates.

But consider this: the sergeant is a woman.

On Tuesday, the Army will make Command Sgt. Maj. Teresa L. King, 48, commandant of its drill sergeant school here. It is a first. No woman has run one of the Army’s rigorous schools for drill instructors.


Well -it's about time the Army woke up and found out what every red blooded American Male has known from birth:

That women are the greatest and most efficient Ball Busters on Planet Earth!

So welcome Terry! - Maybe now we'll get some much needed state of the art NUT Busting for our troops who have gotten soft under the amateur Nut Cracking from MALE drill instructors.

I mean - if you want to kick a guy in the grapes - get a woman!

I mean -who do you think is cracking the nuts of those macho Marine DI's when they arrive home after a day of beating up on recruits? - No wonder they're in no shape for serious nut cracking in the am -Their wives have been at work breaking their balls from the time they got home from the field.

It's heartening to know that military ball breaking has reached the level of intensity -at last! -Which civilian men have experienced since Eve tore off Adam's cajones.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

First Recorded Case Of "Coyote Leg" Reported


A team of doctors from "Coyote Arm" International has confirmed that Manny Orbach from Bensonhurst in Brooklyn NYC - Chewed off a large chunk of his leg (which had to be subsequently amputated) -thinking it was his arm) when he awoke from a night of drunken revelry with Elise Mandelbaum draped across his body.


Mr. Orbach stated for the record; " I opened my eyes and when i saw it/her and i started to scream but was able to muffle it right away - THEN realizing how entangled we were -and in a complete state of panic and hysteria that i might awaken her/it - and be forced to engage it - I did the manly thing and went right for my arm - not realizing i was gnawing through my leg before it was too late"

He continued; "Fortunately i was able to extricate myself from under her and crawl away for help -and praise be to the lord that she was still zonked out enough that she didn't awaken - or i would have had to kill myself"

Moishe Pipick - president of World Wide Coyote Arm International praised Mr. Orbach for his courage -and said;

"Manny Orbach is a testimonial to the power and pride of ALL Men and we at WWCA are making sure he will receive the latest in prosthetic surgery and rehabilitation -and are awarding him The Coyote Arm (and now Leg) Legion of Honor -which carries a cash prize of one million dollars along with the many sponsor endorsements which are already coming his way"

He concluded; "However - we are not formally endorsing 'Coyote Leg" and recommend that you take a minute to get your bearings - take a deap breath -and go for the ARM!"

Saturday, September 19, 2009

WHO has Bill Clinton Been Shtupping Lately?

Aren't you dying to know? -I mean if you're one of those people who thinks he is being faithful to Hil -then there is an 87% chance that your wife is in a motel at this moment with your best friend.


Hey -I LOVE Wiliie - He was a great president and a super guy and is doing wonderful work on behalf of humanity as we speak

But - he is also -as we speak - getting great head and shtupped silly -on a regular basis - from some of the hottest women on Earth!.

What's that you say? - he wouldn't do that to Hil? - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhaha!

Hhahahahahah -Oh my god - Hil would rather have some nice fresh brush in her teeth than Bill's crookedy weeny anyday -And as long as he doesn't embarass her or Chelsea - it's totally cool with Hil.

They adore and respect each other - but wake up and smell the roses - Bill is out there humping and thumping his way across the globe like some randy rabbit -and LOVIN it!

C'mon Bill - give us a clue! You are the coolest pol that ever lived - just a little bitty clue - a taste!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Worldwide "Coyote Arm" Gathering Draws Millions

Men -from around the world - who have chewed off their arm so as to not risk waking the "Beast" they found snuggled up next to them after a drunken night of partying - joined together in Basil Switzerland today -To celebrate their collegial honor and bravery -and to warn "Men Everywhere" of the potential consequences of "Drunken Passion".
Moishe Pipick - Leader of the UCAF (Universal Coyote Arm federation) - chosen for being the first man to chew off BOTH arms when he woke up with TWINS - who in his words. "Defied the theory of evolution" announced:
"Men who have lost an arm in the service of drunken passion - bear witness and testimony to our eternal weakness for "Drunken Passion" and the price some of us must pay for the dignity of All men Everywhere!"
Mr. Pipick went on; "And while there has been an attempt by the women marching outside our gathering to establish a "Coyote Arm" organization of their own -we can see by the number of one armed women marching - that they have a limited following"
"And - we have it on good sources - that most of those one armed women were the victims of MEN who got their arms mixed up"
"And in conclusion" - said Pipick -"I am so proud to see the growing numbers of TWO ARM Coyote Men". -"It takes great courage to chew off both arms - And we salute them!"

Saturday, August 22, 2009

United States Should Sell It's Prison Population

Ny Times :The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.

Moishe Pipick - head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- well - why not our huge and growing prison population?"

He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"

He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."

"Wer'e talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."

He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

Outsourcing is a beautiful thing!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fox TV Announces "Get Freaky With Squeaky"

The Charles Manson follower convicted of trying to assassinate President Gerald Ford was released Friday from a Texas prison hospital after more than three decades behind bars.

Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, 60, left the Federal Medical Center Carswell in Fort Worth at about 8 a.m. and was greeted by Fox TV President Myron Schlocker - and wisked away in his limo headed for his private jet and a meeting in LA -where he later announced:

"The kind of antics with which Squeaky captivated the nation's attention 30 years ago: shaving her red hair and carving an "X" into her forehead after Manson was convicted for orchestrating a mass murder, wearing a red robe when she pulled a gun on Ford, being carried into her trial courtroom by marshals when she refused to walk. -"Will now be put into creating America's next hit reality show -"Freaky Squeaky"

Schlocker went on;"In September 1975, she pushed through a crowd, drew a semiautomatic .45-caliber pistol from a thigh holster and pointed it at Ford, who was shaking hands with well-wishers while walking to the California State Capitol in Sacramento. ( Secret Service agents grabbed her and the gun, and Ford was unhurt)."


He went on; "Squeaky who got her nickname while in Manson's "family," possibly because of her voice, had become its leader. - During her trial, Fromme refused to attend or had outbursts."

"And catch this!" he exclaimed; ""She later was sentenced to 15 years in prison, which was tacked onto her life term for threats against the president, after escaping from a women's prison in Alderson, W.Va., in 1987. She was recaptured two days later about two miles away after a massive search. Squeaky had said she escaped from prison to be closer to Manson after hearing rumors that he was dying."

Schlocker stated; " Now is is this little gal and her wild bunch of nutcases gonna turn in one hell of a hit show? - It's gonna be humongous!"

Schlocker said; "Oh - almost forgot - heh heh - in 1979 as punishment for striking another inmate with a hammer while the two tended a garden on the prison grounds. She later was moved to Lexington, Ky., and then to Marianna, Fla."

"I mean - it just keeps getting better - well anyway - after thirty years behind bars she's finally gonna get to apply her god given talent to Fox Reality Television - heh heh"

"As Squeaky said thirty years ago" said Schlocker:

"I stood up and waved a gun (at Ford) for a reason," she wrote. "I was so relieved not to have to shoot it, but, in truth, I came to get life. Not just my life but clean air, healthy water and respect for creatures and creation."

Schlocker concluded: 'She's Squeaky clean and ready for prime time on Fox TV"

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A perfect Place To Send All The Homo Priests

GOMA, Congo — It was around 11 p.m. when armed men burst into Kazungu Ziwa’s hut, put a machete to his throat and yanked down his pants. Mr. Ziwa is a tiny man, about four feet, six inches tall. He tried to fight back, but said he was quickly beaten down.
>
“Then they raped me,” he said. “It was horrible, physically. I was dizzy. My thoughts just left me.”
For years, the thickly forested hills and clear, deep lakes of eastern Congo have been a reservoir of atrocities. Now, it seems, there is another growing problem: men raping men.
According to Oxfam, Human Rights Watch, United Nations officials and several Congolese aid organizations, the number of men who have been raped has risen sharply in recent months, a consequence of joint Congo-Rwanda military operations against rebels that have uncapped an appalling level of violence against civilians.
Aid workers struggle to explain the sudden spike in male rape cases. The best answer, they say, is that the sexual violence against men is yet another way for armed groups to humiliate and demoralize Congolese communities into submission.
The United Nations already considers eastern Congo the rape capital of the world, and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is expected to hear from survivors on her visit to the country next week. Hundreds of thousands of women have been sexually assaulted by the various warring militias haunting these hills, and right now this area is going through one of its bloodiest periods in years.
The joint military operations that began in January between Rwanda and Congo, David and Goliath neighbors who were recently bitter enemies, were supposed to end the murderous rebel problem along the border and usher in a new epoch of cooperation and peace. Hopes soared after the quick capture of a renegade general who had routed government troops and threatened to march across the country.
But aid organizations say that the military maneuvers have provoked horrific revenge attacks, with more than 500,000 people driven from their homes, dozens of villages burned and hundreds of villagers massacred, including toddlers thrown into open fires.
And it is not just the rebels being blamed. According to human rights groups, soldiers from the Congolese Army are executing civilians, raping women and conscripting villagers to lug their food, ammunition and gear into the jungle. It is often a death march through one of Africa’s lushest, most stunning tropical landscapes, which has also been the scene of a devastatingly complicated war for more than a decade.
“From a humanitarian and human rights perspective, the joint operations are disastrous,” said Anneke Van Woudenberg, a researcher for Human Rights Watch.
The male rape cases span several hundred miles and possibly include hundreds of victims. The American Bar Association, which runs a sexual violence legal clinic in Goma, said that more than 10 percent of its cases in June were men.
Brandi Walker, an aid worker at Panzi hospital in nearby Bukavu, said, “Everywhere we go, people say men are getting raped, too.”
But nobody knows the exact number. Men here, like anywhere, are reluctant to come forward. Several who did said they instantly became castaways in their villages, lonely, ridiculed figures, derisively referred to as “bush wives.”
Since being raped several weeks ago, Mr. Ziwa, 53, has not shown much interest in practicing animal medicine, his trade for years. He limps around (his left leg was crushed in the attack) in a soiled white lab coat with “veterinaire” printed on it in red pen, carrying a few biscuit-size pills for dogs and sheep.
“Just thinking about what happened to me makes me tired,” he said.
The same is true for Tupapo Mukuli, who said he was pinned down on his stomach and gang-raped in his cassava patch seven months ago. Mr. Mukuli is now the lone man in the rape ward at Panzi hospital, which is filled with hundreds of women recovering from rape-related injuries. Many knit clothes and weave baskets to make a little money while their bodies heal.
But Mr. Mukuli is left out.
“I don’t know how to make baskets,” he said. So he spends his days sitting on a bench, by himself.
The male rape cases are still just a fraction of those against women. But for the men involved, aid workers say, it is even harder to bounce back.
“Men’s identity is so connected to power and control,” Ms. Walker said.
And in a place where homosexuality is so taboo, the rapes carry an extra dose of shame.
“I’m laughed at,” Mr. Mukuli said. “The people in my village say: ‘You’re no longer a man. Those men in the bush made you their wife.’ ”
Aid workers here say the humiliation is often so severe that male rape victims come forward only if they have urgent health problems, like stomach swelling or continuous bleeding. Sometimes even that is not enough. Ms. Van Woudenberg said that two men whose penises were cinched with rope died a few days later because they were too embarrassed to seek help. Castrations also seem to be increasing, with more butchered men showing up at major hospitals.
Last year, Congo’s rape epidemic appeared to be easing a bit, with fewer cases reported and some rapists jailed. But today, it seems like that thin veneer of law and order has been stripped away. The way villagers describe it, it is open season on civilians.
Muhindo Mwamurabagiro, a tall, graceful woman with long, strong arms, explained how she was walking to the market with friends when they were suddenly surrounded by a group of naked men.
“They grabbed us by the throat and threw us down and raped us,” she said.
Worse, she said, one of the rapists was from her village.
“I yelled, ‘Father of Kondo, I know you, how can you do this?’ ”
One mother said a United Nations peacekeeper raped her 12-year-old boy. A United Nations spokesman said that he had not heard that specific case but that there were indeed a number of new sexual abuse allegations against peacekeepers in Congo and that a team was sent in late July to investigate.
Congolese health professionals are becoming exasperated. Many argue for a political solution, not a military one, and say Western powers should put more pressure on Rwanda, which is widely accused of preserving its own stability by keeping the violence on the other side of the border.
“I understand the world feels guilty about what happened in Rwanda in 1994,” said Denis Mukwege, the lead doctor at Panzi Hospital, referring to Rwanda’s genocide. “But shouldn’t the world feel guilty about what’s happening in Congo today?”

Monday, August 03, 2009

Fox Tv Announces '"The Desperate Green Housewives of Malibu CA."

Morty Schlocker Prexy of Fox original programming announced today:

Well with all the " 'Desperate'shtupping and cheating and lying and drinking and drugging going on all over televsion - i mean why not the Desperate Housewives of Williamsburg in Brooklyn NYC already? -They could show Hasidic housewives shtupping their brains out while the Rebbes are off in the jewelry exchange cheating the goyim."

"But i digress! - We at Fox are commited to quality cutting edge programming - So - in - 'The Desperate Green Housewives of Malibu
.CA.' - We will observe these filthy rich bored women party and screw around on their wimpy desperately rich lalaland husbands -But - with a new and positive socio-cultural approach."

" He said; " All the action will be "Green"! - Green cars and energy efficient homes and macro dining and even green cocktails"

"This will be totally environmentally safe and energy efficient fucking around!" -said President Schlocker.

"Can you give us an example?" - asked Lisa Mandelbaum -the digibandit Hollywood bureau chief.

"Oh yes - definitely!" he said; "In one scene the young Malibu desperate housewife is giving a cocktail party reception for her much older husband (a famous movie director) and she slips down to the pool cabana with Hector the pool and landscape manager for their estate."

"And" -he went on; "While Hector is banging the shit out of her while she's laying over the cabana railing we see a shot of the solar panels next to the pool."

'That's green?" asked Mandelbaum.

He replied; "Yeah - don't you get it? The pool is heated with solar energy - It's green! - Dontcha fucking get it Lisa?"

Our reporter replied: " Maybe Hector should have a green dick?"

Schlocker exclaimed; "Hey -that's great - right on - Maybe a green condom? - Excuse me - I gotta call the producer!"

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Good Morning Hal -Shall I Suck Your Dick?

Researchers — leading computer scientists, artificial intelligence researchers and roboticists who met at the Asilomar Conference Grounds on Monterey Bay in California — generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. - But Dr. Moishe Pipick spokesman for the scientists said:

"Robots will definitely be able to provide sex which is far superior to what human females are capable of -and without all the bullshit"


The A.A.A.I. report will try to assess the possibility of “the loss of human control of computer-based intelligences.” It will also grapple, Dr. Horvitz said, with socioeconomic, legal and ethical issues, as well as probable changes in human-computer relationships. How would it be, for example, to relate to a machine that is as intelligent as your spouse and gives great head?

Fanfuckingtastic says the digibndit!

In the words of MLK "FREE at last - lord almighty - FREE at last!"

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Backyard Burials Make Sense! - Home Cremations and Euthenasia Next?

The cost savings can be substantial, all the more important in an economic downturn.

The average American funeral costs about $6,000 for the services of a funeral home, in addition to the costs of cremation or burial. A home funeral can be as inexpensive as the cost of pine for a coffin (for a backyard burial) or a few hundred dollars for cremation or several hundred dollars for cemetery costs.

“I think with our economy being the way that it currently is, and it’s getting worse, that many people who may not have chosen to do these types of things may be forced to because of the finances,” said Verlene McLemore, of Detroit, who held a home funeral for her son, Dean, in 2007. She spent about $1,300 for a funeral director’s services.

Well -listen up my friends - because the digibandit predicts that the next big thing will be the creation of Home Crematoriums which will save a lot of burial labor - and:

You home do -it- yourself types can build combo home crematoriums and heating units - And - then offer a crematorium service for deceased pets and neighbors - AND - Save on your home heating and overall energy costs at the same time.

Now - You go and add Home Euthanasia practices to the above and you have enormous medical cost savings AND an additional supply of heat and energy.

I mean - instead of granny rotting away in some nursing home and getting abused by black nurses and eating up your kid's college money -you give her some tranquilizers - shove her into the crematorium;

And POOF - she helps keep you warm and healthy through the winter and reduces your electric bill. (just as she would want )

And -It's totally green!

Obama is right on - American ingenuity will put us back on top -in the time it takes to say:

"Hey gramps - try a sip of this"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

palin

It’s more likely that she will never get anywhere near the White House, and not just because of her own limitations. The Palinist “real America” is demographically doomed to keep shrinking. But the emotion it represents is disproportionately powerful for its numbers. It’s an anger that Palin enjoyed stoking during her “palling around with terrorists” crusade against Obama on the campaign trail. It’s an anger that’s curdled into self-martyrdom since Inauguration Day.
Its voice can be found in the postings at a Web site maintained by the fans of Mark Levin, the Obama hater who is, at this writing, the No.2 best-selling hardcover nonfiction writer in America. (Glenn Beck is No.1 in paperback nonfiction.) Politico surveyed them last week. “Bottomline, do you know of any way we can remove these idiots before this country goes down the crapper?” wrote one Levin fan. “I WILL HELP!!! Should I buy a gun?” Another called for a new American revolution, promising “there will be blood.”
These are the cries of a constituency that feels disenfranchised — by the powerful and the well-educated who gamed the housing bubble, by a news media it keeps being told is hateful, by the immigrants who have taken some of their jobs, by the African-American who has ended a white monopoly on the White House. Palin is their born avatar. She puts a happy, sexy face on ugly emotions, and she can solidify her followers’ hold on a G.O.P. that has no leaders with the guts or alternative vision to stand up to them or to her.
For a week now, critics in both parties have had a blast railing at Palin. It’s good sport. But just as the media muttering about those unseemly “controversies” rallied the fans of the King of Pop, so are Palin’s political obituaries likely to jump-start her lucrative afterlife

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Israeli's Target Muslim Assholes With Shit Seeking Missile

The Pentagon announced today that ; "The Israeli's have made a breakthrough in weapon's technology that will enable us to target,with shitpoint accuracy, the assholes (actual) - that are our worst enemies in the war on terror. "

General Moishe Pipick of the Israeli Defense Agency said in Tel Aviv today;"These people stink to begin with -- very limited water -- it's hot and they wear those huge robes and fucking stupid hats and no toilets or toilet paper and they eat crappy food -- oy my gutt vey is mere" .

"Well anyway", he continued, 'Now we have the leaders on the run and they really stink -- and the smell is mixed with explosives and munitions residue and some camel shit and some of their stinky wives stuff -- and we have been able to scientifically isolate these "fundamental shit molecules"

"And have created a guidance system that will deliver a payload (oye a pun) right into Osama's bung hole or any other asshole targets of major importance."

"If i were Osama Bin Fartin or Al ZaWeirdy or Moktr Al McBungi - or whatever his fucking stupid name is -- I would get a teflon asshhole transplant -- because their constipation problems are over!"

"Oh, and Admadinejahd better wipe his ass really well or the only nuclear explosion he will experience is his colon sailing over France."

Israeli Prime Minister Olmert said; "General Pipick get's a little carried away kinda like your Vice President (ha ha) - but it's just that we are so very proud of this achievement and for supplying these weapons to our great allies and friends in America -- we have even named the missile "God's Tuchas Hammer", which we thought would please our religious fundamentalist friends in your great country'

"President Obama announced with glee: "The Jews can solve anything for a buck."

"That,s Democracy in action!"

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Palin Family To Tour US With 'Wild North" Carnival Show

Youv'e heard of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show?

The show itself consisted of a series of "historical" scenes interspersed with feats of showmanship, sharp shooting, racing, or rodeo style events. Native Americans figured prominently in many of the scenes, often shown attacking whites in historical situations with Buffalo Bill or one of his colleagues riding in and saving the day.


Well - The Sarah Palin version of that cookoo event will be coming to a venue near you before you can say " Wow look at Sarah standing on Tod's shoulders going eighty miles per hour on his snowmobile - while she shoots a beer can off an Eskimo's head."(sponsored by Budweiser)

Yep - in this Annie Oakely meets the Munsters style traveling carnival Sarah will -as she says "Bring back the days when men were men and women were women" or as she said "before the Democrats turned into homo's and Jew and Injun lovers"

There will be a whale and wolfmeat barbeque and a tent revival prayer meeting and a shooting range.

Hey -the redneck Republicans will show up in droves with their guns and bibles and woop and holler in support of their great white hope for the resurrection of the GOP:

Which now officially stands for "Goyim Only Please"