Court Jester -Slash fiction creator of incantatory creative dark energy - ideas -spells -kabbalistic journeys - and various satirical stories for fellow travelers gleefully trudging along!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
No Nukes BECAUSE You Are NUTS!
Friday, February 19, 2010
What About All The Dogs Left Behind?
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand...
"About the time of the end, a body of men will be raised up, who will turn their attention to the prophecies, in the midst of much clamor and opposition." - Sir Isaac Newton
When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. (Luke 21:20)
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom againstkingdom. (Luke 21:10)
There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven. (Luke 21:11)
On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. (Luke 21:25)
There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. (Luke 21:25)
Men will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. (Luke 21:26)
When you see these things happening, you know that the kingdom of God is near. (Luke 21:31)
'Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.' Jeremiah 33:3
Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. (John 14:1-3)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Abdul Ghari Baradar vs. Mrs. Mandelbaum
Agent Lance Himmler - an experienced CIA torturer - has divulged his initial experience with a revolutionary new torture technique - "American Wife Nagging".
He reported on the method yesterday - at a briefing of the Joint Chiefs of Staff - which the President and Secretrary of Defense Gates attended.
"Sustained nagging by an American wife - preferably a miserable Jewish housewife (hey and no anti-semitism intended - some of my best friends in the CIA have been driven nuts by nagging waspy wives) - is the most effective torture application that i have witnessed in my thirty years of trying to crack the toughest terrorist nuts around the world!"
He recounted; "Well -- we had this Al Quaeda leader who was sitting on some highly sensitive intel - and he would not give an inch! - We waterboarded him - we crushed his toes with a hammer - we put a pigs snout up his butt ( you know they hate pork) - we lit up his nuts with electrical charges - we put sulphuric acid on his left eyeball -- and then we got rough with this guy -- and NOTHING - he spit at us!"
Officer Himmler continued; "Well -i'm here to tell you - we brought in Elise Mandelbaum - closed the door - and within fifteen minutes this guy was screaming for his Momma!
And - when Mrs. Mandelbaum gave him another dose of "you no good lazy worthless bum - get a job - your'e poor wife should have married a Jewish Doctor - you failure - you fat weak spineless lazy loser ..... on and on......."
"Well - this guy begged for a map and a pointer and said he would give us everything we wanted - if only she would shut up!"
"I mean - she saved us hundreds - maybe thousands of lives! You gotta understand - it's hard enough for an American to deal with this kind of nagging - but - these Muslims have never heard a woman say anything but "Yes Mohammad - anything you want - please kick me or rape me again"
"I mean - here's a guy who has been killing and maiming since he was ten years old - his eyeball is hanging out of the socket and his nuts are sizzling from the electric shocks - and all his teeth have been kicked in and his toes are all mashed up - and he tells us to get fucked!"
"But - twenty minutes with Elise Mandelbaum from Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn N.Y - and he's crying like a baby and giving up his family and friends just to make her shut the fuck up."
"Oh - and get this - i say to Elise - "You have performed a major contribution to your country in the war on terror - you have cracked open one of our toughest Al Quaeda terrorists."
"And she says to me - "Let me tell you Mr. - these Muslims are a bunch of weak babies and i don't understand how you let them get away with all this terror business?"
She concluded, said Himmler; " My Abe Mandelbaum is a weak piece of shit - and he has withstood my nagging for the last twenty years. - And just thank God you don't have terrorists like him running around!"
At this point - the President replied : "Thanks officer Himmler - i want you to recruit a special unit of the most viscious nagging American wives you can find -and you can start with my mother in law -- heh heh heh!"
Late Breaking News -upon hearing he would be interrogated by Mrs. Mandelbaum -Mr. Baradar -recently captured head of Taliban intelligence in Afghsnistan -asked for a tape recorder and has been spilling his guts to western and Pakistani intelligence agents - "And he has not stopped crying" said Moishe Pipick -head interrogator,
at 7:50 AM
Monday, February 15, 2010
$ 8.50 Per Hour and FREE Rooms at Holiday Express?
My young friend just got a job at the brand new local Holiday Express - she was very excited about getting a job at the front desk earning $8.50 an hour:
Yearly Inflation Rate USA 1.24%
Yearly Inflation Rate UK 1.8%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 762
Average Cost of new house $12,650.00
Average Income per year $5,807.00
Gas per Gallon 29 cents
Average Cost of a new car $3,233.00
Loaf of bread 22 cents
Bedroom Air Conditioner $149.95
This December 1st will mark nine years and three months since the last increase. Thus, unless Congress acts quickly, so that a federal minimum wage increase is actually put into place before then, on December 2nd the federal minimum wage will have remained at the same level for the longest period since it was established
The lack of action on the minimum wage has led to a dramatic erosion in its value.
- The minimum wage now equals only 31 percent of the average wage for private sector, nonsupervisory workers. This is the lowest share since at least the end of World War II.
- Since September 1997, the purchasing power of the minimum wage has deteriorated by 20 percent. After adjusting for inflation, the value of the minimum wage is at its lowest level since 1955.
The decline in the value of the minimum wage is part and parcel of a disturbing feature of the recovery from the 2001 recession: its failure to significantly improve the well-being of most workers. Instead, the benefits of our impressive productivity growth rates have largely flowed to those at the top of the income and wealth scale.
Oh well -like i said at the beginning --"Holy Shit! -the average unhighly skilled American worker is totally doomed!"
You know -another sign of the impending doom struck home when the father of my young friend said "And she gets free rooms at Holiday Expresses all over the World"
"Where in the fuck do you think she is going? -She's a fucking pauper you moron!"
Hey -but the real story here is that the Holiday Express folks give these jobs to kids like my friend who is livin with her boyfriend's parents while finishing college at night -BUT - remember when these jobs went to adults who could support their families comfortably with those salaries back then when there was a fair distribution of the goodies in America (and their wives stayed home with the kids)
Gone forever -next up - I"M afraid - Class Warfare!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
How The Church Tried To Ruin Valentine's Day
On this day of amative imaginings and billet- doux - I thought you might be interested in the Pagan provenance of Valentine's day --"Lupercalia"
"The Lupercalia festival was in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Explaining the name of the festival, Lupercalia, which translates out into "Wolf Festival." The festival was celebrated near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine (where Rome was founded, see Livy, Book I), to expiate and purify new life in the Spring.
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The festival began with the sacrifice by the Luperci (or the flamen dialis) of two male goats and a dog. Next two patricianyoung Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh; the smearing of the forehead with blood probably refers to human sacrifice originally practised at the festival.
The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci cut thongs from the skins of the victims, which were called Februa, dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats -- and then everyone ran around fornicating and drinking and dancing until they dropped!
This looked like too much fun to the Ancient Queer Priests so they turned it into a sappy, lovey dovey religious farce - BUT!
Little did they know that healthy modern folks of all ages would return to their Lupercalic roots - only with different outfits and bling.
This is a sure sign that the rule of the Queer Priests is waning - but we gotta bring back the goats and she wolves!
Happy Lupercalia everyone!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dwarfs And Battle Pigs To Fight Taliban
Defense Secretary William Gates ,has proposed revolutionary new battle tactics to the Joint Chiefs Of Staff -- For winning the war in Afghanistan:
Under his plan a full battle Brigade of "Dwarfs" would be used to patrol and control The toughest Taliban strongholds, and they would be accompanied by specially trained "Battle Pigs".
He stated "Dwarfs are much harder to target and can move more easily through the narrow canyons and mountain trails of the Taliban strongholds. -- AND - the "Battle Pigs" will be very effective (they are much smarter than German Shepherds with a much keener sense of smell) -- and any Muslim insurgent bitten by a Pig cannot enter Paradise. (also the Dwarfs will be armed with special Pig Bullets)"
"Any Muslim killed with a bullet smeared in Pig grease will wake up in the West Hollywood Gay Pride Parade - instead of in a swimming pool full of Virgins - Oh and we are also going to bury any body parts we find leftover from a suicide attacker's remains -and bury it in Pig Shit -So the Paradise thing is definitely over for these vicious morons!"Said Secretary Gates.
Gates concluded: "I have to admit i got this idea from Israeli Defense Chief -Lieutenant General Moishe Pipick - who said that the IDF is considering spraying Pig Manure all across Iran if they don't stop enriching Uranium -and maybe even using Pig Gas and spraying them all into Islamic hell."
Monday, February 08, 2010
Sarah Palin - Demagogue
Demagogy (also demagoguery) (Ancient Greek δημαγωγία, from δῆμος dÄ“mos "people" and ἄγεινagein "to lead") is a strategy for gaining political power by appealing to the prejudices, emotions, fearsand expectations of the public—typically via impassioned rhetoric and propaganda, and often using nationalist, populist or religious themes.
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Though this definition emphasizes the use of lying and falsehoods, skilled demagogues often need to use only special emphasis by which an uncritical listener will be led to draw the desired conclusion themselves. Moreover, a demagogue may well believe his or her own arguments (for example, there are good reasons to assume that Adolf Hitler--certainly one of the most successful demagogues in history—sincerely believed his own anti-Jewish diatribes).
What we ALL need is to critically observe Sarah Palin communicating her positions -in some depth - on the critical issues of the day with say a David Gregory or George Stephanoupolis - or Jim Lehrer.
Performing her demagoguery) to a group of Tea Party idiots is just like spreading manure -it may stick -but it just plain stinks!
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Read Em And Weep!
Friday, February 05, 2010
USA Is Brutally Divided By Intellect
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Japanese Demand Toyota Board Kill Themselves
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Evangelists Turn Jesus Christ Into A Gang Banger
Flock Is Now a Fight Team in Some Ministries
Diego Sanchez before a bout in Memphis.
MEMPHIS — In the back room of a theater on Beale Street, John Renken, 42, a pastor, recently led a group of young men in prayer.
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“Father, we thank you for tonight,” he said. “We pray that we will be a representation of you.”
An hour later, a member of his flock who had bowed his head was now unleashing a torrent of blows on an opponent, and Mr. Renken was offering guidance that was not exactly prayerful.
“Hard punches!” he shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!”
The young man was a member of a fight team at Xtreme Ministries, a small church near Nashville that doubles as a mixed martial artsacademy. Mr. Renken, who founded the church and academy, doubles as the team’s coach. The school’s motto is “Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.”
Mr. Renken’s ministry is one of a small but growing number of evangelical churches that have embraced mixed martial arts — a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles — to reach and convert young men, whose church attendance has been persistently low. Mixed martial arts events have drawn millions of television viewers, and one was the top pay-per-view event in 2009.
Recruitment efforts at the churches, which are predominantly white, involve fight night television viewing parties and lecture series that use ultimate fighting to explain how Christ fought for what he believed in. Other ministers go further, hosting or participating in live events.
The goal, these pastors say, is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of Jesus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing. “Compassion and love — we agree with all that stuff, too,” said Brandon Beals, 37, the lead pastor atCanyon Creek Church outside of Seattle. “But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.”
The outreach is part of a larger and more longstanding effort on the part of some ministers who fear that their churches have become too feminized, promoting kindness and compassion at the expense of strength and responsibility.
“The man should be the overall leader of the household,” said Ryan Dobson, 39, a pastor and fan of mixed martial arts who is the son of James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, a prominent evangelical group. “We’ve raised a generation of little boys.”
These pastors say the marriage of faith and fighting is intended to promote Christian values, quoting verses like “fight the good fight of faith” from Timothy 6:12. Several put the number of churches taking up mixed martial arts at roughly 700 of an estimated 115,000 white evangelical churches in America. The sport is seen as a legitimate outreach tool by the youth ministry affiliate of the National Association of Evangelicals, which represents more than 45,000 churches.
“You have a lot of troubled young men who grew up without fathers, and they’re wandering and they’re hopeless and they’re lousy dads themselves and they’re just lost,” said Paul Robie, 54, a pastor at South Mountain Community Church in Draper, Utah.
Fighting as a metaphor has resonated with some young men.
“I’m fighting to provide a better quality of life for my family and provide them with things that I didn’t have growing up,” said Mike Thompson, 32, a former gang member and student of Mr. Renken’s who until recently had struggled with unemployment and who fights under the nickname the Fury. “Once I accepted Christ in my life,” Mr. Thompson said, “I realized that a person can fight for good.”
Nondenominational evangelical churches have a long history of using popular culture — rock music, skateboarding and even yoga— to reach new followers. Yet even among more experimental sects, mixed martial arts has critics.
“What you attract people to Christ with is also what you need to get people to stay,” saidEugene Cho, 39, a pastor at Quest Church, an evangelical congregation in Seattle. “I don’t live for the Jesus who eats red meat, drinks beer and beats on other men.”
Robert Brady, 49, the executive vice president of a conservative evangelical group, the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals, agreed, saying that the mixed martial arts motif of evangelism “so easily takes away from the real focus of the church, which is the Gospel.” Many black churches have chosen not to participate.
Almost a decade ago, mixed martial arts was seen as a blood sport without rules or regulation. It was banned in nearly every state and denounced by politicians like Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona.
Over the past five years, however, because of shrewd marketing by the Ultimate Fighting Championship, the sport’s premier brand, mixed martial arts has become mainstream. Today the sport is legal and regulated in 42 states.
Its proponents point to a study by researchers at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine showing that mixed martial arts participants suffer a lower rate of knockouts than boxers.
Over the past year and a half, a subculture has evolved, with Christian mixed martial arts clothing brands like Jesus Didn’t Tap (in the sport, “tap” means to give up) and Christian social networking Web sites likeAnointedfighter.com.
Roughly 100 young men, many sporting shaved heads and tattoos, attend fight parties at Canyon Creek near Seattle, watching bouts on the church’s four big-screen televisions. Vendors hustle hot dogs and “Predestined to Fight” T-shirts. About half are not church members but heard about the parties through friends, said Mr. Beals, who is known as theFight Pastor.
Men ages 18 to 34 are absent from churches, some pastors said, because churches have become more amenable to women and children. “We grew up in a church that had pastel pews,” said Tom Skiles, 37, the pastor of Spirit of St. Louis Church in Arnold, Mo. “The men fell asleep.”
In focusing on the toughness of Christ, evangelical leaders are harking back to a similar movement in the early 1900s, historians say, when women began entering the work force. Proponents of this so-called muscular Christianity advocated weight lifting as a way for Christians to express their masculinity.
“This whole generation is raised on the idea that they’re in a culture war for the heart and soul of America,” said Stephen Prothero, a professor of religion at Boston University.
Paul Burress, 35, a chaplain and fight coachat Victory Baptist Church in Rochester, said mixed martial arts had given his students a chance to work on body, soul and spirit. “Win or lose, we represent Jesus,” he said. “And we win most of the time.”
But on that cold night in Memphis, Mr. Renken, the pastor from Xtreme Ministries, watched as two of his three fighters were beaten, one emerging with a broken ankle.
Another, Jesse Johnson, 20, a potential convert, was subdued in a chokehold and decided not to return home with the other church members after his bout. He stayed in Memphis, drinking and carousing with friends along Beale Street, this city’s raucous, neon-lighted strip of bars.
“Where Feet, Fist and Faith Collide.”
So what else is new!
Monday, February 01, 2010
"You Fuck It You OWN It!" - new teenager campaign
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Fox Tv Announces "The Witch Doctors"
"The next big thing in reality programs will be 'Voodoo Reality' and the audience will love it" said Moishe Pipick,Fox head of alternative reality programming at the NATPE convention in las Vegas.
"Terminally ill patients will be brought to a village in the remote Burundi Highlands in Africa,where Witch Doctors will compete to cure a group of hopeless patients and restore their health.
There will be Judging and prizes and internet voting -- if a patient should not respond and die,his family will receive a cash award."
Pipick stated; "I am so convinced that this show will generate cures for the terminally ill that my mother Becky Pipick will be joining the first group in Africa"
He concluded; "Oh -and for each patient they cure - the Witch Doctors have requested and will receive three goats and an I Pad."
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Only Requisite For Evil is For Good Men To Do Nothing
A Radical Treasure
I had lunch with Howard Zinn just a few weeks ago, and I’ve seldom had more fun while talking about so many matters that were unreservedly unpleasant: the sorry state of government and politics in the U.S., the tragic futility of our escalation in Afghanistan, the plight of working people in an economy rigged to benefit the rich and powerful.
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Mr. Zinn could talk about all of that and more without losing his sense of humor. He was a historian with a big, engaging smile that seemed ever-present. His death this week at the age of 87 was a loss that should have drawn much more attention from a press corps that spends an inordinate amount of its time obsessing idiotically over the likes of Tiger Woods and John Edwards.
Mr. Zinn was chagrined by the present state of affairs, but undaunted. “If there is going to be change, real change,” he said, “it will have to work its way from the bottom up, from the people themselves. That’s how change happens.”
We were in a restaurant at the Warwick Hotel in Manhattan. Also there was Anthony Arnove, who had worked closely with Mr. Zinn in recent years and had collaborated on his last major project, “The People Speak.” It’s a film in which well-known performers bring to life the inspirational words of everyday citizens whose struggles led to some of the most profound changes in the nation’s history. Think of those who joined in — and in many cases became leaders of — the abolitionist movement, the labor movement, the civil rights movement, the feminist revolution, the gay rights movement, and so on.
Think of what this country would have been like if those ordinary people had never bothered to fight and sometimes die for what they believed in. Mr. Zinn refers to them as “the people who have given this country whatever liberty and democracy we have.”
Our tendency is to give these true American heroes short shrift, just as we gave Howard Zinn short shrift. In the nitwit era that we’re living through now, it’s fashionable, for example, to bad-mouth labor unions and feminists even as workers throughout the land are treated like so much trash and the culture is so riddled with sexism that most people don’t even notice it. (There’s a restaurant chain called “Hooters,” for crying out loud.)
I always wondered why Howard Zinn was considered a radical. (He called himself a radical.) He was an unbelievably decent man who felt obliged to challenge injustice and unfairness wherever he found it. What was so radical about believing that workers should get a fair shake on the job, that corporations have too much power over our lives and much too much influence with the government, that wars are so murderously destructive that alternatives to warfare should be found, that blacks and other racial and ethnic minorities should have the same rights as whites, that the interests of powerful political leaders and corporate elites are not the same as those of ordinary people who are struggling from week to week to make ends meet?
Mr. Zinn was often taken to task for peeling back the rosy veneer of much of American history to reveal sordid realities that had remained hidden for too long. When writing about Andrew Jackson in his most famous book, “A People’s History of the United States,” published in 1980, Mr. Zinn said:
“If you look through high school textbooks and elementary school textbooks in American history, you will find Jackson the frontiersman, soldier, democrat, man of the people — not Jackson the slaveholder, land speculator, executioner of dissident soldiers, exterminator of Indians.”
Radical? Hardly.
Mr. Zinn would protest peacefully for important issues he believed in — against racial segregation, for example, or against the war in Vietnam — and at times he was beaten and arrested for doing so. He was a man of exceptionally strong character who worked hard as a boy growing up in Brooklyn during the Depression. He was a bomber pilot in World War II, and his experience of the unmitigated horror of warfare served as the foundation for his lifelong quest for peaceful solutions to conflict.
He had a wonderful family, and he cherished it. He and his wife, Roslyn, known to all as Roz, were married in 1944 and were inseparable for more than six decades until her death in 2008. She was an activist, too, and Howard’s editor. “I never showed my work to anyone except her,” he said.
They had two children and five grandchildren.
Mr. Zinn was in Santa Monica this week, resting up after a grueling year of work and travel, when he suffered a heart attack and died on Wednesday. He was a treasure and an inspiration. That he was considered radical says way more about this society than it does about him.