Anthony WEiner and Wife Should Read this Old Digibandit Blog

Hillary and Bill Complete Oral Sex Boot Camp With Honors

Responding to attacks by Barak Obamalama that Bill would be risky (meaning frisky) to have as first man -- she stated at a press conference today:

" After Bill got sucked off in the oval orifice (heh heh ) by Monica Lewinsky, i took a long hard (forgive the pun)look at the situation and had to admit to myself that i was starving a very virile man of a key ingredient in his emotional composition; the need for oral sex which is a very deep and important drive in both men and women -- and a necessity for the fulfillment of a complete relationship."

She continued; "After Bill and i completed an extremely demanding 'Oral Sex Boot Camp Training' -- which, bye the way, is so rigorous that experts call it the Navy Seal training equivalent of Deep Diving. (oops)" -

"Bill came in first in the class and i came in second. ( the woman that came in first could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch (heh hehheh) -- our marriage completely changed and we are like a pair of lovebirds."

"Bill, now says,when he stops screaming and moaning, that he can hardly walk after i finish -- and i don't mean to get personal but last week our security team almost broke into our soundproof bedroom after Bill performed his 'Dive" on me. -- i actually snapped one of the posts off George Washington's bed when i climaxed"

"Anyway -- Bill is under control -- and as first man he will be a great asset to the political process in effectively serving the American people -- and he sure will provide an important ongoing function for Madam President."

Stay tuned for --candidates views on oral sex -- it's all about "Values"

Google Announces Fantasy Masturbation App

Dr.Moishe Pipick -the mastermind of Google Apps and head of development for the recently established Google Division 'Google Sexual Stimulation Apps Worldwide' announced today at their headquarters in Berne,Switzerland:

"The Fantasy Masturbation App is going to become the hottest App in the industry! - It allows users to select from a menu of sexually stimulating visions which appear on the screen -with music from your personal library and provides the option for accompanying "Hot talk" personalized to your pre programmed input about what turns you on AND it has an orgasm button that activates the accompaniment of orgasmic cries at exactly the moment you desire"

Dr. Pipick went on; "The app is linked to Facebook and Twitter for easy sharing of the experience AND a special You Tube Google App Masturbation Channel will allow users to share the whole experience visually (Parental approval required for those under 9 years of age) -OH and of course the fantasy options menu will include homo's and every trans gender imagineable - (Options for Beastiality and Pedophile Priests are currently on hold and under review)"

"In conclusion" Pipick stated "And in these tough times horny folks of all ages will be able to stay right in their easy chair and have the time of their life - For under five bucks they can have a TOTALLY fulfilling sexual experience AND no bullshit pre coital chat AND it doesn't matter how fat and ugly and poor they are AND your App Date dissapears when you press "THE END" (unless you sign on for the post sex pillow talk option)"

Where do i get one? - Like yesterday!

Momma Grizzly claims - America getting Stronger through DECONSTRUCTION

"Economists who have studied the impact of floods, tornadoes and hurricanes have found that after the initial anguish and huge economic disruptions, periods of increased economic activity frequently follow as insurance money and disaster relief flow in to jump-start rebuilding." said Sarah Palin today on a break from a meeting with Fox TV regarding their upcoming new Reality Series 'Mormon's Gone Wild" which she and Todd will co executive produce for them.

"When researchers studied the economic impact of a deadly tornado that hit Oklahoma City in 1999, they found that the labor market improved after the storm, and not just in the construction sector." Said Dr. Moishe Pipick head of The REpublican Task Force for American Renewal and a close ally of the Palin family."

Sarah Palin a huge booster of this new economic stimulus concept continued her endorsement: "AND - the tornadoes that devastated Joplin. Mo. and The Mississippi River flooding both promise to be significant econonomic boosters for those areas - Hey ! Gee! -Let's just start fucking blowing stuff up!"

She went on; "Let's just start knocking down stuff and get paid to replace it! - Plenty of jobs -folks back to buying all that unecessary crap again -credit rip offs for all - BETTER than a War! AND

With the National rallying cry of:

"America! - Getting Stronger EVERY Day -- Through DECONSTRUCTION"

Hey -This could be the campaign platform that moves Momma Grizzly on to The White House -if it's still satanding?

California Prisoners For Rent To Endangered Home Owners By California

Can't make your mortgage payment?

Why not get paid by California and Uncle Sam to house inmates and help the State comply with yesterday's Supremo Court ruling.

Under my plan the soon to be evicted homeowner's could take two prisoners for say one third of what the Fed pays out - and have enough income (after expenses) to pay the mortgage - and plenty left over to go shopping.

The prisoners would have a chance to acclimate back into society in a way that might cut down on recidivism -saving society a ton of grief and money.

And - Plenty of saved dollars available to help the States pay for teachers.(or more Prisons or Casinos)

Hey - this may be the digibandit's best idea for saving America - since recommending Bernie Madoff for Treasury Secretary.

Oh -and the government would of course pay a hefty premium for homeowners who house violent prisoners.

AND -Huge bonus' available for those who house pedaphiles. (and queer Priests)

It's a win for the States for the Feds -for the Homeowners -for the Prisoners -and for the Economy AND one hell of a reality program -I'm calling Fox!

(The prisoner's that don't get rented get sold to foreign countries as slaves -but that's another story)

Blind Prostitutes are The Answer!

Look -let's be realistic - Alpha Males rolling in fame power and money need a lot of sex with young hot babes!

Arnold or that French asshole from the IMF - Bill Clinton (oh my god the list of famous pols and titans of industry and celebrities who have ruined themselves and their families when all they need is some sexual diversity is endless! -It's a terrible waste!

The problem is that they can't just call up Madam X and say "Hey it's the Governor -send over two Russian Ballerina types to my suite at The Beverly Hills Hotel -oh and throw in a dwarf with big tits -and money is no object."

I mean - if Arnold likes to grope -so what? - He could afford to have a weekly "Grope fest" with the hottest babes on Earth -AND - be totally satisfied and go about his business as a great husband and father for the rest of his life IF he could just hire some hookers and not wind up on the Today Show next morn (just like most rich unfamous married guys do on a regular basis)

Solution - a High Class Prostitution Ring that only employs blind women (and men).

It's a win win situation for the families of these high powered horny men -and for the prostitutes -and for all of us because if these guys are content they will be more effective.

Oh -and horny Catholic Bishops wouldn't have to cornhole little kids to get their rocks off AND AND AND even The Pope could get laid! -AND wouldn't THAT have a salutory effect on the world!

It's like a trickle down sex effect -the Republicans should love it!

Study Shows Fox News Viewers Dysfunctional

A new study by the Institute For Audience Analysis shows that Fox News viewers do not have the brains or lifestyles that would enable them to understand the balanced news reporting in The other Sunday news programs:

Broadcast Sunday Morning News Shows - Weekly Average Ratings (May 8, 2011)
NBC: Meet the Press 3.47 million total viewers; 0.9 and 1.11 million A25-54
CBS: Face the Nation 2.92 million total viewers; 0.7 and 913,000 A25-54
ABC: This Week 2.46 million total viewers; 0.6 and 755,000 A25-54
FOX: FOX News Sunday 1.13 million total viewers; 0.3 and 435,000 A25-54

The study further analyzed the Fox weekly News Viewers and found that 40% were drunk or high on drugs while viewing and had only a two percent recall of what they watched.

In addition the average IQ of Fox News viewers was 67% lower than on PBS and 49% lower than on CNN and MSNBC - AND - that over 33% had over 34% body fat - AND average credit scores under 400. (and had never read a book)

Moishe Pipick president of the Advertising Council said that based on this comprehensive research they would no longer recommend Fox News for advertising except for generally downscale products and Guns and Alcohol related ads.

He stated: "It is now apparent that Fox News generates a basically low intellect - and dysfunctional demographic"

Who Was The First Mother?

IT'S MOM'S DAY again AND MY WEIRD MIND IS THINKING ABOUT THE FIRST MAN AND WOMAN WHO BLUNDERED INTO A SEXUAL UNION -- CULMINATING NINE MONTHS LATER IN THE "EARTH'S FIRST MOTHER." (AND SUBSEQUENT FIRST MOTHER'S DAY)

Now if your a member of the Adam and Eve crowd or you still believe in the tooth fairy and a personal god please stop reading -- you are delusional and have better things to do -- like seeing a Doctor.

But for those of us who like to ponder weird shit it might be fun to consider how that first sexual union occurred?

A big burly apish hominid has woken up in great discomfort because his penis is throbbing against a stone on the bare earth with some leaves and moss on it -- the forerunner of the sealy posturepedic mattress. "Oye vey!" he groans, and awakens the guy next to him -- who he doesn't realize is actually a female. She looks exactly like him but with a different chest and a different genitalia arrangement -- but since no one understood anything back then there was no reason for alarm -- only wonderment. (lucky them)

The unbeknownst female called Tzitsckas (the strange chested one) Say's; "Vooz machsta (what's up) Oorgy?" To which Oorgy replied; "Mine shticklach es grovnen!(my stick is growing).

To which the soon to be first impregnated female replies; " Ach mine tuchas ess grovnen shticklaken" (oh shit - it's growing into a big stick!)

And standing up and saying words in the ancient cave Yiddish that have echoed down through the eons -- i said them myself only last week (and i translate) "Stand back Tzitsckas --i don't know how big this will get."

And -- at an engorged thirteen inches it slowed,and finally stopped at sixteen inches. (a phsical trait which only exists today in black athletes).

Well here's where Genetics and DNA took over, as Tzitsckas cried out! And i'm using the original cave Yiddish here to emphasize and honor the Ancient request that men have been hearing, from women. for over three hundred thousand years in thousands of languages: -- but this was the first time! -- "Oh Oorgy , ich nam so hornen ples shticken ein huge lognin ent me !" (Oh Oorgy, i'm so horny -please stick your huge stick ( later becomes 'Dick') -- in me"

And when Oorg climaxed he let out a thunderous cry across the Tundra -- "Whoopee" (the ancient origin of the word pussy which evolved from '"oopee" to "pooshme"to '"pussy woopee" to finally "pussy wipped' and 'pussy"

Well,nine months later Oorg and Tzitsckas had a twenty two pond baby boy they named Irving (the first Jew) --and one year later celebrated the Earth's -- first Mother's Day.

And for those of you who are wondering where Oorg and Tzitsckas came from and why this whole chain of events didn't register earlier wih THEIR births and their parents etc. -- well how the the fuck would i know !

Maybe they were too high or too dumb? But one things for sure -- Oorg and Tzitsckas were the first ones to do it -- and to REMEMBER what they did.

Happy Mother's Day!

"Out With A Bang!" Plan Endorsed By AARP

DR.MOISHE PIPICK - PRESIDENT OF THE AARP (ALMOST ALIVE RETIRED PEOPLE) -WHICH COVERS 68% OF ALL SENIORS -ANNOUNCED TODAY:

“Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about About $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about

Dr. Pipick continued: "Under the 'Go Out With A Bang!" plan - If you have less than three years to live - -THen - instead of wasting away and being shlepped from one test and one Doctor to another -and then finally and inevitably expiring with your loved ones broke while watching you turn into a dead cabbage roll:

"You can "Go Out With A Bang" - Yep -we'll give you a cash payment (twenty percent of what your treatment would have been) and ALL the drugs and/or booze you want - including synthetic Viagra which will turn your libido back 50 years -AND then you have access to all the Male and/or Female hookers you desire until the deal terminates!

Pipick concluded; " The savings wil result in the average medical plan costing most folks under three -hundred dollars a year -And that's with universal coverage - including illegal aliens!"

Republican leaders said "This will save the economy" And The Tea Partu called it a breakthrough in controlling medical costs."

Shoulda Buried Osama In A Pig Skin

The mostly peace loving Muslims around the world tell us that Osama's virulent brand of nihilistic Islam "slaughter the Infidels -they are evil and corrupt -and go to Paradise for your eternal rewards" is outside any interpretation of The Koran - SO Hence:

The slaughtering of innocent civilians places Osama and his ilk OUTSIDE the traditional Canon's of Muslim ritual SO

Why then would we want to let Muslim terrorists know they will be handled with care in their afterlife.

We should announce that henceforth any Muslim killed while planning or engaging in terrorist acts against civilians will be sewn up in a pigskin and buried in it - to remain THEREIN for eternity.

Well - There goes a huge juicy incentive!

Think 'Name That Price" without prizes - Oops -where did the contestants all disappear too?"

"Hey Farook -wear this vest -blow up a bus load of kids and you are set for Eternity"

Farook "Fuck You Arick -I heard about that Pigskin shit!"

Pope Tells Africans To Stop Fucking

On his way to Africa last month, he said the best strategy is the church's effort to promote sexual responsibility through abstinence and monogamy. -No condoms allowed! -No sport fucking!


"Hey you dysfunctional folks out there on the Dark Continent - i know your'e having trouble not chopping up everyone in sight -and you make a dollar a day - and your'e hot and dirty - and you have no toilet paper or TV or radio or socks -or even drugs -and there are flies eating up your eyeballs:

"But i - Your Popa - don't have a cock and i am very happy -so donta you worry about getting laid -- i hear it's very messy!"

'If you absolutely have to stick your biga blacka dicka in something -find a young boy -lika my priests."

That Pope is quite a guy!



But the Church is tone deaf - here's the latest statement from The Black Bishops (who would fuck any altar boy that's not armed even if he has advanced stage leprosy)

"The bishops did not veer from Vatican policy opposing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of H.I.V. and AIDS. “The problem cannot be overcome by the distribution of prophylactics,” they wrote. Instead, they urged abstinence among the unmarried and fidelity among the married. “Such a course of action not only offers the best protection against the spread of this disease but is also in harmony with Christian morality,” they wrote."

These guys are from another planet!

Easter Alert! -- Confessions To Homo Priests Don't Count Says Pope

In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated;

"Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!"

Catholic Times Vatican reporter, Faba Nugatzi asked the Pope; "But your emminence, these Catholic members of your flock had no way of knowing that they were confessing to homo's - and if their sins are serious and not forgiven -- they will go to Hell?"

"Atsa tough titty!", replied the Pope. "Do you thinka God isa gonna accept the Confession from a Priest who just gota finished sticking hisa tinga into some young Altar boy?"

The reporter replied, "But your Holiness, i was talking to a man who confessed that he had sodomized and tortured his three year old son while he was under the influence of pain killers and alcohol due to post traumatic stress syndrome from serving in Iraq - as a life long Catholic he lived in constant fear of going to Hell prior to his confession. - SO NOW - What will he do when he hears your announcement that he will not be absolved from his venal sins?"

The Pope answered,"Well he is justa gonna have to commit his sins all over again and finda, if he can, a non homo Priest -- and confess all over again, and then he will hava fresh starta with Goda."

"But Your Emminence --that makes no sense! -- it's cruel and an abomination of Christ's Gospel."

The Pope concluded, "Well thatsa the Churcha for you -- Happy Easter."

Godzilla Strikes Again in Dolphin Revenge Attack

Kawa Socki and his son Sockit Toomi along with Ichi Goomi and Ticki Tocki and Icho Icho Onaa and Fu King Aay were all killed by Godzilla while slaughtering Dolphin in a cove near their remote village in Grababitchi -- three hundred kilometers from Tokyo.

Dr.Oh Myomi Medical Examiner for the Kizmertucki province said today:

"We found Godzilla tracks with huge radiation levels apparent -and were able to identify the bodies because he had not eaten their heads."

He concluded;"We think Godzilla was outraged by the Dolphin slaughter!"

"AND -the radiation is making him stronger all the time"

Godzilla Spotted In Japan

Ichyo Fumaspumo who lives on the tiny island of Woweezuma was fishing yesterday when he heard a load roar and saw the head of Godzilla appear about two hundred yards out in the ocean

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed to a team of reporters who flew in overnight "A fucking Earthquale and a Tsunami and the destroyed nuclear reactors spilling out radiation - We should have known it was just a matter of time before Godzilla returned"

Reports of missing vessels in the area coupled with the rescue of a seamen from a Whale and Dolphin killing trawler have created a frenzy in Tokyo which would be Godzilla's likely target.

The seamen who is being held in isolation by the japanese Coast Guard was heard to be screaming:

"It's Godzilla and he is pissed off about the killing of all his Dolphin and Whale friends and who has gotten a lot of new energy from all the Nuclear Radiation" in the Ocean." said Shoogi Zoomi head of Japan's Oceanic and Marine Institute.

WOW! When you think of all the problems a localized Nuclear Disaster can create - Just imagine what a ten killitron nuclear warhead would do to your daily routine.

And then think about Iran with a weapon in the hands of those cookoo death worshipping Mullahs - or the extremists in pakistan?

Godzilla would seem like your pet iguana!

ABC Announces co production with 'Acme Plumbing and Television'- "Dancing With Disabilities"

Remember the huge success of Heather Mills' appearance on "Dancing With The Stars" -- gracefully executing a fox trot with her wooden leg -- Milton Cretin, head of ABC programming announced this joint production with Acme Plumbing and TV -- " It's a natural spin-off when you see the huge rating's that Heather's performance generated."

 He went on:  "The Pipick Brothers  -Moe and Arnold  - Have become well known for their creativity and have established quite a track record with Reality Shows like "Star Shit""Fake Funeral"and  their new animation feature for gay kids ""Studsey The Queer Bull" -We look forward to a long term collaboration with this new exciting production company.

"The first show will feature a woman with no arms dancing a Tango --this is a particularly tough dance to perform without arms to hold on to for guidance. --we chose a woman with huge tits for her professional partner to use as steering and control vehicles."

Asked by Hollywood entertainment reporter , Anna Clitinsky , what other disabilities they were considering? Mr. Cretin responded, "Well, up next were going with a blind deaf and dumb woman! --i don't have to tell you what a challenge that will be for all involved -- during rehearsal, in the lively folk dance numbers, she kept spinning and crashing all over the set and injured two camera men and a grip. We are now using an electrical array wired to her extremities and generating jolts of electricity as a guidance system."

"What else?" -- "We have a Five hundred pound woman from Arkansas who will dance a polka --it's rough -- she fell during a fast turn and rolled off the set for one hundred feet knocking down bystanders like bowling pins -- we had to install nets and put up bales of hay."

"Any others?", asked Clitinsky, "Whoa Anna --can't give the store away,but one last tease;" We have a woman with no feet! -- she will be fitted with prosthetic roller skates and will perform a waltz -- ha ha -- during one rehearsal she got out of control - shot across the lot, and barrelled into the Commissary -- we might change her over to a tap dance number -- on pegs!"

"And -- stay tuned for the Alzheimer's Meringue -- one dancer keeps yelling, "Morris -- answer the phone --are you deaf?"

No host has been announced but Variety has heard they are talking with Muhammad Ali (who would also dance)

Cretin concluded: "Oh -The Pipicks - Moe and Arnold, wanted me to remind his many friends and neighbors and long-term customers that rest assured "We'll still be keeping your shit flowing -EVEN while were busy keeping the hit shit television flowing!"

The New Catholic Mass Should Require Homo Alert

Can you believe THIS horseshit?

"One of the most noticeable changes is in the Nicene Creed, the statement of faith that Catholics learn to recite as children. Currently, Catholics say that Jesus is “one in being with the Father,” but in the future they will say that Jesus is “consubstantial with the Father.” This is one of several changes that include unfamiliar vocabulary.

The new mass MUST require every Priest and the Pope -before every mass - to announce:

"I will not use the power - as a representative of god on Earth - to stick my weeny in the butt of an Alter boy -or any one under the age of 35 -of whatever faith"

BECAUSE you should be less concerned about whether Johnny Jr. is memorizing the Latest Catholic mumbo jumbo - than him being coerced to suck off Father Peter "Because God likes to watch that Johnny -so be a good little Catholic and open wide."

Crude? Crude? -it's happening as we speak! And those rotten fucking perverted priests will never change -and never get the severity of the horror of it -and never stop covering each others asses about it. (oops a pun)

We need women in the priesthood and mandatory castration for the men after they take their vows!

Fox Tv Announces - "From Fags To Stags" Boot Camp

"You come in as a Homo and leave as a Romeo" says executive producer Moishe Pipick speaking on behalf of Fox Reality Pres.Mike Schlocko who is away visiting Bernie Madoff in federal Prison to discuss a potential program.'Weekend at Bernie's"

"Over the course of twelve weeks our drill instructors -who make Victoria Secrets models look like boys -and who in addition to being the greatest pieces of ass on Earth -are also behavioral psychiatrists -will have these homo recruits screwing like a Guido on the Jersey Shore"

Pipick went on; "we will follow them as they convert from "Tuchas Tigers" - into "Snatch Busters" -and we will witness the pride and joy that their families will experience in seeing their transition into happy and fulfilled "Real Men"

"This is another example of Fox Reality TV's commitment to presenting compelling -must watch programs -while simultaneously helping to uplift society."

He concluded; "The one disappointment in the production is that we had to eliminate the Priests from the Boot Camp"

"They were using it to prey (oops a pun) on the recruits and to try and cornhole all the young kids in the area where we where shooting"

He concluded: "If you have a homo friend or family member or are a fagott yourself - call us at 1-800- stagfag - camp -and start on the road to heterosexual misery. (ha ha ha)

Evangelist Clergymen in Ivory Coast Should be Tried for Genocide

After last fall’s election, Mr. Gbagbo and his wife, Simone, refused to accept the results, in part because they had become evangelical Christians, and their pastors convinced them that God alone could remove them from power. Every day on state TV, fanatical clergymen called Mr. Gbagbo God’s representative on earth, and the winner of the election, Alassane Ouattara, the Devil’s. Many young Ivorians, poor, illiterate and easily brainwashed, believed this.

It's the same old story - Delusional fanaticks who get their marching orders from god wrecking havoc with humanity.

Evangelist in Ivory Coast Should be Tried for Genocide

After last fall’s election, Mr. Gbagbo and his wife, Simone, refused to accept the results, in part because they had become evangelical Christians, and their pastors convinced them that God alone could remove them from power. Every day on state TV, fanatical clergymen called Mr. Gbagbo God’s representative on earth, and the winner of the election, Alassane Ouattara, the Devil’s. Many young Ivorians, poor, illiterate and easily brainwashed, believed this.

It's the same old story - Delusional fanaticks who get their marching orders from god wrecking havoc with humanity.

Spike Stole "Coal" From The Digibandit

Now if this concept - which never made it to air - didn't provide the idea for 'Coal" to Spike TV - then my great aunt Minnie was a drag queen.

(April 2010)Fox TV and Digibandit Productions Announces"Sex With a Chilean Miner"
"This will be the world's most fantastic Reality Program!" -Said Mike Schlocker,Fox TV President at a press conference in Santiago Chile today standing beside six of the 'Untrapped' miners - who will be the prizes in the new Reality Series.

He announced: "Women will compete to be chosen by these brave (and very horny -heh heh) Chilean heroes."

He went on; "The six finalists will get to have sex with all three of the miners over the course of a weekend in a luxurious Island Resort off the Chilean Coast --AND -get this!"

He proclaimed with great fanfaire -"The Miners will then vote on who was the "mas bueno lascivio mucho pusseo" -which means "hottest piece of melted pussy" in Chilean mountain dialect"

He concluded; "The winner will receive one million Chilean pesos (fifteen thousand US dollars)and a Llama -and gets to keep the baby if she becomes pregnant"

What do the Miners get?" asked Elise Mandelbaum from The Hollywood Reporter.

Schlocker replied with a lascivious twinkle in his eyes "Mas bueno lascivio mucho pusseo"

Fox TV does it again!

US Military Should Create "Violent Criminal Corp" From US Inmates

"Strained by the demands of long wars, the Army and the Marine Corps recruited significantly more felons into their ranks in 2009 than in 2008, including people convicted of armed robbery, arson and burglary, according to data released Monday by a House committee." NY Times today.

Well - that's a step in the right direction!

Now - let's take every misfit and goon and drug dealer and rapist and killer out of our jails where we are paying fifty thousand dollars a year to wharehouse them - and put them all in uniform.

The "Criminal Corp" led by a tough semi-psycho General (think Lee Marvin in the movie "The Dirty Dozen") should have it's first combat duty in The Tribal areas of afghanistan, and believe you me - when Moammar Ugenexystan (or whatever his schmucky name is) gets a load of these REAL American animals in action - they will fold their tents in a hurry!

Let's save our nice young marines and Infantry for mopping up missions after the "Criminal Corp," - And these one of a kind - original American wacko/criminals don't need any training - they are tough and cruel and smart -and we just assign the prison gang leaders to become their officers - and they are ready to rumble.

And no pay required -just let them pillage and plunder like the pagans and pirates of yore - they will turn those tough mountain warriors into islamic pussycats - AND those blood sucking incompetent and corrupt Afghani politicos will be dying to make some progress, just to get the "Criminal Corps" out of Dodge - and THEN we can send the 'Corp" to visit The Congo for some r&r.

Oh -and all the white collar criminals - you know -the Enron types, -They will join the "Criminal Corp" as support personell - as clerks and cooks and logistics and in planning and intelligence. AND also serve as "Bitches" for the troops"Hey Bernie( Madoff) put down that mop and bend over the sink!

That oughta cut down on the Wall Street shenanigans - dontcha think? OH Oh OH!

And these guys won't cpme home with all those pussy war related mental problems our modern warriors are afflicted with -like PTSD

These guys will come home refreshed!