xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit

Thursday, July 18, 2019

America is suffering from a Viral Cancer !- A White Older ignorant Human Strain

 

One is put in mind of H.L. Mencken: -- “As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” There will always be some defective aggressive charismatic dangerous sociopaths hanging outside the norms of a decent society -like a virus trying to enter a cell -BUT like cells need their nuclei penetrated - Society needs tens of millions of defective citizens to open the gates for a life long grifter and racist and basically worthless human being like trump to penetrate. The moral lowlife's in America have metastisized into a 40 million strong human cancer! Their greed and stupidity and fear fed and unified by social media and America's first network propaganda machine devoted to the incomprehensible and corrupt and incompetent policies of trumpism. The genie is out of the bottle and with the moral collapse of the GOP and the religious community: We will just have to wait for the upheaval-coming soon -of the demographic changes which will save us AND cleanse our culture of the old white ex urban human bacteria (a virulent immoral strain of ignorance) which has infected it. Once and for all!

 
     

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Uteroil -Energy created from Aborted Fetus" -Save The World!

Abortions Create Energy -Save The Earth - UTEROIL ENERGY Announced - From Fetus"

 Placent Ready for Uteroil processing
The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.

"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."
He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."

"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.

He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

Dr. Pipick cont.; "The Arabs and Russia and Africans better figure out some new way to pay for screwing their people and paying for weapons -heh heh"

 shoulda been made into Uteroil
When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."
"But, said the President - i don't wanta see folks creatin a new market by creatin and sellin dead babies for "Uteroil" - Uh Uh! - But them Muslims could probably make a little extra cash and cut way down on their production of future suicide bombers by sending us lots of aborted Mulims to turn into clean energy."


Uteroil could send us back into Tents
As KingFaisal of Saudi Arabia said twenty years ago : "Don't be greedy my Arab brothers - the stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones."

Too late!

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

one legged dickless males confront women's rights -LOL


The Church Will NEVER GET IT!


I find it laughable that any man or woman could even begin to expect sexless sexually repressed men to have any concept of what it is like to be a biologically normal female OR male.

Let us NOT complicate this issue!

AGAIN -these are men who are not allowed to have any sexual interaction with women!

Shall i repeat that again?

The primary biological drive! THE most basic biological emotional component of normal men and women and catalyst for all human understanding and empathy IS TOTALLY absent from and denied to - These strange men in robes!

Say it again! NO SEX!

It is one big Monty Pythonesque satire about expecting one legged men with no dicks to hurdle the obstacles to women's (or even men's for that matter) equal treatment!



Breakfast In LA -Ain't Breakfast at Tiffanys


Breakfast In LA ain't Breakfast at Tiffany's

"Good morning mam" I says to the 190 pound plus woman who is petting my dog while she waits for Jose to ring up the breakfast order for her and the kids at the seven eleven on the corner of Sunset and La Brea.

"Good mornin to you and that's a fine lookin dog you got there!" - At which point Jose yells something at me that ends in "Pero" so i figure i better tie up Liza outside and the LAPD officer getting his free coffee is now looking at me like he was back having fun in the Mac Arthur park melee --beating on the heads of Latinos with his nightstick.

Back inside, the fat black woman is finishing her transaction -- which was delayed by her additional purchase of the Daily Globe tabloid, "Oh my can you imagine that poor Japanese woman who gave birth to a giant Squid!" -- i just don't know where this global warming is a heading?"

"Do you always read the Globe ?" i inquired. -- "Well it's a bit pricey but it sure keeps me informed! I usually scan it to stay up with things but when you see a story like this Squid business? --i just gotta have it to show the family. "

Jose tally's up her order ; -- California lottery and three "One hundred Thousand Instant 'American Idol Jackpot Cards ' - Four breakfast bars (two lemon and two blueberry pies for maximum nutrition) --Two red bulls and one coke (important for the kiddies to drink plenty of liquids) -One pack of Kool Lights and an extra large coffee with about twelve packets of sugar and an equal amount of that cremola stuff that you can also use to make napalm. (plus the Tabloid.)

Total order amount is $18.75 - Now as a percent of her probable total family take home pay it is the equivalent of the average middle class woman spending $72 on breakfast for herself and two kids! -- It is also enough to buy enough nutritious groceries for a family of four for two whole days (on a tight budget).

And by the time our lovely woman's kids get to school they will have ingested enough sugar and chemicals to put their young brains into "school is an action video game" mode!
She would have been much better off giving the kids some downers and a glass of milk (total cost on Medical - 75 cents) -Much healthier and greatly appreciated by the teacher and fellow students.

And --that would leave her with enough money left over to buy twelve additional Lottery Jackpot cards -- increasing her odds of winning from one in 400 million two one in three hundred million.

You know, when it comes to raising a family in these days of global competition -- it's all about resource management -- effective planning -- and quality education!

"Have a nice day mam" - "Oh and you too!" she says - "And you take care of that fine Dog -- and why don't you get her some of that beef jerky over there --my kids just love it!"

I'm moving to Cuba!

Friday, March 08, 2019

RIP TRUMP! - The death of a miserable lying worthless human being

RIP King Schmuck

There was a fool king named of tRUMP
a liar a con man -and chump
the rabble adored him along with the seedy
the rich and the stupid and of course all the greedy

So surrounded by jerks and foul ghouls
incompetent swine and ignorant tools

It soon came to bear
the breath of foul aire
And discord did spread through the land

But it soon came to pass

His lies and mean rants
the preposterous chants
Could no longer thrill
No longer entrance

His babbly babel -his lying and lies
had lost all it's clout
Power now lost from
this Swine and complete lout

He ate and he ate
and he watched his fox news!

SO Alone in his tower
bereft of all power
He realized the saddest of news!

A sick schmoozer and loser
a fate worse than death!

He drank one more Cola
And blew his last breath.




Thursday, December 06, 2018

The Digibandit: Next Gen Barbies will have Vaginas - AND interact ...

The Digibandit: Next Gen Barbies will have Vaginas - AND interact ...:  next gen barbies will be able to have intercourse and give oral sex The move is about more than just making Barbie look different. Whi...

We hold fast from attack by the "awfuls" and their dirtbag leaders


Great News – America still works!




Despite a vile grifter with the morality of an adder – (With the core values of a bully and empty headed fascist and demagogue) - Having been elected by a huge majority of our nation's most awful and ignorant citizens (and supported by a right wing propaganda network AND both the House and Senate and the vast majority of State Governments) - AND their totally effective vile efforts to suppress minority voting and open democracy through gerrymandering:

The vast majority of  citizens capable of objective reasoing – Supported by a free and fair press – An independent Judiciary and a humanistic secular constitution rock solid behind it's Citizen Military:


Have TOGETHER prevented America from becoming just another Democracy that spins downward into unmitigated populism -nationalism -xenophobia and ultimately fascism when a greedy mentally ill tyrant (like trump and his crooked cronies) comes along at just the right time for the nativists and their appointed political sycophants and opportunists (and absurdist Evangelists) to rally around.

Our darkest hour has been met with the fierce opposition that free and fair and smart and courageous men and women have always been capable of:

Build up the barricades and take zero shit from the awful and ignorant and greedy and morally and ethically empty and sordid trogs besieging us.

WE WILL WIN” -That's on OUR hat!

Dave Nelson 12-6-18


Monday, November 26, 2018

American lazy assholes with opiated parents - vs Chinese students -

 Schmuck Clem from Oklahoma
 Qiucai in Gansu Provence
His teachers urged Qiucai to preserve the school’s reputation and “shine like the sun.” Signs posted in the hallways warned that students must tolerate a little pain now to avoid a “life of suffering.”
Since Qiucai began attending the school two years ago, his life has been a blur of late-night cram sessions, practice tests and mastering the art of finishing geometry problems while slurping noodles. He starts each day by running around a racetrack chanting, “The heavens reward industrious people!”
He attends classes until almost 10 p.m., with only a short break on Sundays, and lives nearby in a $32-a-month apartment with his mother, who cooks and cleans so that he can study full time.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Celebrities Who Plan On Having Anal Sex Memorial Day Weekend


 (a partial list)



Well the year sure went quickly didn't it and our group is back in action for their Memorial Weekend Anal Shtuppfest!.

In addition to the following lineup(oops) of celebrities engaging in some tuchas fireworks - there will be: - Donald Trump -Ivanka and Melania Trump -Andrew Barr  -Pat Robinsonarr  -TedCruz - The Pope - Hannity -Tucker Carlson -Melania Trump - Clarence Thomas  Andrew Dice Clay - Pence with Trump - Anne Coulter - Ayatolah Komeini - Rush Limbaugh (with his sheep Oxy Cotton) - The Dalai Lama and Harvey Weinstein and Warren Buffet:

Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne-------B--------Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields-------C--------Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox-------D--------Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*-------E--------Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly-------F--------Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie-------G-------Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow-------H-------Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank-------I-------Isaiah Washington-------J-------Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers-------K-------Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell-------L--------Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu-------M-------*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena-------N-------Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox-------P-------Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo-------R-------Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe-------S-------Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin-------T-------T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer-------U-------Uma Thurman-------V-------Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen-------W-------Will Smith William Shatner-----  -----Yasmine Bleeth--- -----Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanelat 2:47 

The Digibandit: Jewish Wife Nagging Better than Water Boarding sa...

The Digibandit: Jewish Wife Nagging Better than Water Boarding sa...:  anything but the nagging Jewess Agent Lance Himmler - an experienced CIA torturer - has divulged his initial experience with a revol...

Don't argue with trumpanzees! - Schmucks can't think like Normals


More than anything political attitudes are formed in the core of ones potential for credulity - The capacity to determine between facts OR fiction! - Blind faith and ignorance impede reason!

The capacity for objective analysis determines these potential outcomes and that potential is derived from mental rigor based on informed intellect -mental rigor and discipline.
These qualities adhere mostly to educated individuals and/or those who are exposed to a plurailty of thought and ideas (an environment of multi thought dimensions found in larger cities/groups)


Hence -The dominance of regressive -emotion based - credulousness and receptiveness to dogma and conspiracy theories in trump's base among the uneducated and/or rural populations.

Add status deprivation -xenophobia and racism to the mix and it's most likely a bridge too far to argue with schmucks!

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

the magic trump wall - the trumpanzeez will believe anything!


“We started building our Wall. I’m so proud of it. We started. We started. We have $1.6 billion and we’ve already started,”  lyin donny trump
tells the folks at his rallies.

Actually, the $1.6 billion was explicitly not for a Wall. Nothing’s started. 

He could just as soon tell his acolytes "It's built! It's the best wall ever built! Come take a look at It"

When they come and don't find it: "It's there -believe me it's there - it's so there it's amzing!"

No problem -Hannity will start some conspiracy theory about cloaking or something equally credulous for fox newsies.

McConnell and Graham will confirm they saw it!

Gingrich will supply commentary.


https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/14/opinion/trump-wall-budget.html?comments#permid=29408640

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Finally! Trumpism explained! - The "Small Head" - Deplorables!

HEADS UP!  "as some humans also developed bigger brains, it became harder for a fetus’s skull to squeeze through that tight channel."

Which would account for the "fact" that conservative women have an easier time giving birth and making more small brained babies.

ADDED to that; religious conservatives also have less abortions hence they have a much higher pecentage of  stupid children.
It's "heads" up evidence which explains the appeal of trump to these "small heads

#science #brain #birth #conservatives
#birthcanal #pelvis #womensfashion
#headsup #trumpanzees🐵💩 #naturel

The End of The White Hater Assholes

There are roughly 35 million white - mostly well enough off christians - who are intrinsically without any core values beyond 'more" "more now" and  their xenophobia and racism "white people made this  country great" horseshit!  ---  AND ( boo hoo hoo) How they're being threatened by the "wimpy progressive policies of the libtards."


AND the majority of Americans are in shock that a dangerous imbecile has managed to figure out easy it was to get these mostly older white uneducated regressives to fall in love with him.   -  AND how easily the GOP capitulated if not rejoiced in his ascendancy


Forget all the meta psycho socio demo despair rhetoric about how this all happened!  -Keep it simple stupid!


Extreme capitalism married to a unified core of volk with no moral or ethical center was guaranteed to inevitably produce this kind of political nadir/dystopia.

The old white conservatives along with their demagogues in the
churches are right!

Their days ARE almost over.

The progressives WILL win !

 Hopefully? (charitably) The young and multi colored - The multi gendered - The educated elite -The new and progressive enlightened:

Will grant them a guaranteed living wage and universal health care in return for their guns. (as they slide into oblivion)

Saturday, September 29, 2018

more lesbians needed - fck Kavanaugh!

Today is a reminder that if homosexuality was a choice, there would be 2, maybe 3, straight women left after today.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Vote the mothafucking GOP hater incompetent assholes out of office

Vote Democratic! - Stop getting cornholed!

Womens rights - fair taxation - education - environment - global warming  -science - living wages - racial and gender equality - internationalism - health care -fair immigration - consumer protection - workers voters rts - job training - infrastructure projects - children -ethics &competence vs dogma.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

The road to"Happiness" NOT "Meaning" - THAT's The Quest!




  • Maximize mental and physical energy with enlightened study - work and exercise and art. (do your best)

    Eat and drink and sex and play well (but moderate)

    Be courageous and disciplined and truthful.

    Protect nature -Fight Fascists

    Endure suffering but feel free to end your "life" responsibly

    Life has ZERO metaphysical meaning -  BUT here's a practical definition for you:

    life
    līf/
    noun
    noun: life; noun: one's life; plural noun: one's lifes
    1. 1.
      the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
      "the origins of life"
      synonyms:existencebeinglivinganimationMore
      antonyms:deathnonexistence
      • living things and their activity.
        "some sort of life existed on Mars"
      • THAT'S the MEANING of life!
      • ps -if you're still questioning the "meaning" of life you have missed the point (or get a dictionary)

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Steven King Knew Trump was Coming -The Dead Zone


“Those morons out there? Shheh, I can take chicken fertilizer and sell it to ’em for caviar. I can make them eat dog food and they’ll think it’s steak ... You know what the public’s like? A cage full of guinea pigs."
Trump would say the tape was doctored and Fox News would confirm it.

The only thing that would end him - Like a stake through the heart of Dracula - Would be his (say) using a baby as a shield from an assassination attack as portrayed in Stephen Kings prescient book and movie - "The Dead Zone"
Trump IS Greg Stillson reincarnate!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Don't Worry -Be Happy! -- In your Red State Shitholes



It's ok! All's well!
Living in a robin's egg blue state life is just honky dory!
We bluebirds just have to stop worrying about the folks outside our walls and their problems with abortion and civil rights and jobs and education and discrimination and immigration -and guns yadadadada - 
WELL THEN -they will just have to make their own political changes or move in with us - the door is always open.
BUT - IF you're happy where you are -the way things are - then - don't worry - be happy - as long as you can?