xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit

Sunday, February 27, 2022

California approves Uteroil Made from Aborted Fetus'

                           California approves Uteroil Made from Aborted Fetus'


 

The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.


"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."

He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."


"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.


He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

 

When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."


Post Francis Announces Castration for ALL Priests

                              Post Francis Announces Castration for ALL Priests 

“You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Selena Gomez walks into his bedroom naked.”


“They won't need their nuts anymore anyway - and a lot of children will be saved from getting ravaged by the hordes of queer priests at our "Club Vatican"


 Pope continues  “And since the Church refuses to ordain women or let men have normal sex lives - the Church is a haven for sexual deviants  who have a "religious watering hole" to stalk their prey.”


“And -as we have found out - Your local Church has provided a fertile hunting ground with tens of thousands of victims- lots of kids who will never get over the trauma of being sexually assaulted (and by a trusted emissarry of the Lord no less)”.


“And if you think it's not business as usual in the " Now Johnny -God want's me to put my staff in your mouth and then in your bung hole -so be a good little Altar Boy" business - Then you must be delusional!”


“You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Selena Gomez walks into his bedroom naked.”


So - i say - "Off with their nuts" - that ought to put a crimp (oops) in the recruitment of queer sickos  into "Club Vatican."


OH -And i will lead by example!


Oh -and not to worry --God will keep our nuts safe until we get to Heaven.


Breaking news     In a shocking revelation the Pope has announced that he will allow himself to be sodomized by a Priest to protest what he called:


"A catholic clergy that is overrun with priests who enjoy fucking children!"

He went on; "and any priest at whatever level of authority that is implicit in this crime of all crimes will be sodomized and castrated -henceforth"


Wednesday, February 16, 2022

epistocracy -How to Stop the moron trumpers from voting and turning America -into a total schmuckland

                                                      Epistocracy NOW!


Consider an alternative political system called epistocracy. Epistocracies retain the same institutions as representative democracies, including imposing liberal constitutional limits on power, bills of rights, checks and balances, elected representatives and judicial review. But while democracies give every citizen an equal right to vote, epistocracies apportion political power, by law, according to knowledge or competence.


The idea here is not that knowledgeable people deserve to rule – of course they don’t – but that the rest of us deserve not to be subjected to incompetently made political decisions. Political decisions are high stakes, and democracies entrust some of these high-stakes decisions to the ignorant and incompetent. Democracies tend to pass laws and policies that appeal to the median voter, yet the median voter would fail Econ, History, Sociology, and Poli Sci 101. Empirical work generally shows that voters would support different policies if they were better informed.

Voters tend to mean well, but voting well takes more than a kind heart. It requires tremendous social scientific knowledge: knowledge that most citizens lack. Most voters know nothing, but some know a great deal, and some know less than nothing. The goal of liberal republican epistocracy is to protect against democracy’s downsides, by reducing the power of the least-informed voters, or increasing the power of better-informed ones.

https://aeon.co/ideas/the-right-to-vote-should-be-restricted-to-those-with-knowledge




                                                                      read on

Merwin Crudeley Sr. entered his personal information at the voting station in  Crumwell, Minnesota and was told he needed to answer some questions before he could vote!


He replied - “I’m registered - Iv’e lived here for forty eight years and voted Republican every year since i was eighteen cept when i switched over to vote for George Wallace when them negroes done acted up down south.”


Poll Booth guard - “That’s fine Sir but under the new American Voter Act passed by congress last year there are certain qualifications required now to make sure we all get the best government we all need -You probably heard about it?”


Crudely - “ I’m a Fox News watcher - Don’t believe nothin on any Jew Commie networks! -I do remember sompthin Carlson said about some new law gonna try and steal away the votes from loyal white Americans.”


Guard -”Well Mr. Crudely we assure you that’s not the case so if you’ll just come with me over to the screening room and answer some simple questions -It won’t take but a short time out of your busy day and responsibilities over at the poultry slaughter house “


Crudely - “ Howd you know that? - You damn dot heads been spyin on me?  - Are you some kinda immygrant spy?”


As Crudely headed forcefully t0 to try and enter the voting booth he was restrained.


Crudely “Allright -What damn questions you want me to answer -  Trump saysThe Publicans need my vote so i cain’t let y’all steal it away!”


Election Official  -  “So - Mr Crudely, can you tell me what constitutional article means the most to you and why?


Crudely - “Don’t take no shit from libtards” cause they hate real Americans!”


Election Official - “I see - And what are the three branches of the government”


Crudely - “ You tryin to trick me and steal my vote so that spic bitch communist AOC can get into the White House .”


EO -  “ Hmmm? -Well how about this - What is your feeling about the government helping needy folks and lifting them up?”


Crudely - “ Fuck em all -Let em get jobs and pay their dues like white people”


EO - But i see here where you receive food stamps - An earned income and child credits AND Medicaid, plus several other state and federal assistance programs to help those in need?”


Crudely - “ I got that comin! -My ancestors built this Country and we white folks ain’t turnin it over to you immygrants and faggy colored communists! -AND i’m gonna go right vote for Marjorie Taylor Greene and make sure y’all don’t get to ruin this blessed land!  -There’s a shitload more of us than you libtards!”


EO - “You are 100% right about that AND that is why - We are sorry -But - You won’t get get to vote!”


Crudely - “Im callin Trump and Greene and The local Oathkeepers and Neo’s and y’all gonna be sorry bout this!”


“ Fortunately for the sake of America -They won’t get to vote either  -G’day Mr. Crudely and thanks for  taking time out of your busy day from the poultry plant.”


Crudely - “We’ll be back and armed!”


EO -”Well sadly Mr. Crudely -You are now under arrest!”


dave.nels@yahoo.com

3106131657

2-15-22


Sunday, January 09, 2022

Hollywood Septic Tank Cleaner Scores Big With Star Shit

 Hollywood Septic Tank Cleaner Scores Big With Star Shit 




Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by Creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills: "Yep -- it's true! - iv'e been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and catalogued their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the shit my ancestors have saved -- we have been in the septic business since the early days of Hollywood"-- He continued; 


"My Grandfather,Johnny Bigdump, always kept a bowl of Tonto's shit in the living room. (Lone Ranger's sidekick for younger readers)" Moishe Pipick,head of liscencing for CAA said; "-- How much will people pay for an original John Wayne dump or a freshly minted Scarlett Johannson,or for a beauty from say  Brad Pitt? -The skys the limit!" The Hollywood Reporter blared "There's Gold In Them Thar Hills"- Star Shit gold in the Hollywood Hills that is - and it reported that septic tank wars have erupted in Memphis as  A Shit Gold Rush has created a frenzy to obtain the Holy Grail of turds -- a blast from the King himself. CAA announced yesterday; "Christy's elite auction house will be the exclusive seller of the Star Shit " and Arnold Grimey, head auctioneer at Christy's said today ; "ANd an authenticated Star Shit NFT could sell for more than a Picasso -- a penultimate statement about American culture!" 


AND the Bandit has it on good authority that entrepreneurial gynecologists in LA may have been stockpiling "Star Sperm" -- what is next? -- stay tuned! (copyright lawyers should have a field day as well as firms who will be rushing to install secure shit facilities).


Saturday, January 01, 2022

Ignorance IS Bliss - Trumpism

 Ignorance IS Bliss


This phrase was coined by the English poet and literary scholar Thomas Gray (1716-1771) in An Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College (London: printed for R. Dodsley and sold by M. Cooper, 1747):

 

"To each his suff'rings: all are men,

         Condemn'd alike to groan,

The tender for another's pain;

         Th' unfeeling for his own.

Yet ah! why should they know their fate?

Since sorrow never comes too late,

         And happiness too swiftly flies.

Thought would destroy their paradise.

No more; where ignorance is bliss,

    'Tis folly to be wise."

 

America’s Red States mostly populated by low information individuals with majorities of the non-college educated represent the inherent value in this mind numbing worldview:

 

“Thought would destroy their paradise.

No more; where ignorance is bliss,

    'Tis folly to be wise.”

 

Meanwhile America’s Blue State populations with their preponderance of educated progressive liberals and humanists, awash daily in  harsh true facts - Those realities of America’s intolerance - discrimination - inequalities and inequities; suffer  daily existential anxt  and 

Blisslessness.

 

Along with the ubiquitous tribal scorn of their blissful fellow Americans! 

 

 For us godless queer libtards who threaten that soothing balm of freedom from what they don’t know or understand -The comfort of faith in their absurdities - The reinforced bonding with their neighborly cults and tribes - The relief from struggle with the complexities of nuanced existence.

 

Anti-Science and ahistorical  - Slumbering in Plato’s Cave until aroused to action by the whining of those libtards who threaten their god blessed White America and their blissful certainty.

 

AND whose pathetic condescending ingenuous and arrogant attempts to help them; only reinforce their contempt for us weak kneed  America haters and neo-liberals with our godless programs and policies designed to create a socialist paradise out of this great beautiful white land.

Well -How  stupid do we progressives have to be - To keep trying to help these Red State Trogs from turning into the inevitable state of cultural and economic irrelevance awaiting them 

From their self-inflicted wounds?

 

 Let them peacefully  celebrate their blissful tribal nativism - AND their delusional white supremacy. Leave them unimpeded by our progressive protestations to wallow in their ignorance and  lousy leftover low tech jobs  -  Surrounded by their hopeless under educated children until they have to come begging for the guaranteed incomes we might then provide -Essential to sustain their basic needs.

 

Meanwhile we’ll be celebrating OUR new well deserved  BLISS! 

 

Free from giving a shit about y’all!


Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Heaviest Porn Use is in Red States with the Most trumpanzees -Duh!

 Most Porn by State


sexually repressed absurdists

obese

shit jobs

ignorant

cain't get laid

smart hot women laugh at them

99% trumpanzees 

lmfao





Monday, December 20, 2021

THE most viscious sub-human schmuck of the year - AND his GOP

 A fell group of swine in thrall to a dangerous evil sub human -grifting imbecile and immoral vulgar serial narcissist and sociopath.

A nature hating -science denying - dehumanizing lying bullying hero to an entire political party AND half of America.



Friday, December 17, 2021

Death Pods Available Soon

 "For years, a sleek, pod-shaped suicide machine called Sarco has been a striking sight at museums and funeral conventions.

Now the creator of the pod is saying he is ready to take it beyond the showroom and make it available for 3-D printing next year in Switzerland, which has permissive laws on voluntary assisted suicide.

The announcement by the inventor, Dr. Philip Nitschke, has unsettled even some of the most ardent right-to-die advocates, inflaming the debate.

Dr. Nitschke, an Australian doctor who has been a supporter of assisted voluntary suicide for decades, said this month that he hoped to start sharing the 3-D printing program for the machine, which is designed to cause death as it fills with nitrogen, replacing the oxygen inside."




He said he was aiming to introduce it in Switzerland in early 2022 after a lawyer hired by his nonprofit organization, Exit International, found no conflict with Swiss law. But the announcement, which he made in interviews and on the organization’s website, added to a growing debate over whether the online distribution of suicide information and materials encourages people to end their own lives when they might not otherwise seek to do so.

In Britain, where an assisted dying bill is being reviewed in Parliament, Dr. Stephen Duckworth, the founder of Disability Matters Global, wrote in The Independent that he was “appalled” by Sarco.

Dr. Duckworth, who has pressed for safe laws emphasizing personal choice and control of the dying process, added that he could not support it, “nor am I aware of any credible assisted-dying campaigner who does.” Sarco, he said in an interview, would “deprive users of human connection and replace it with a lonely virtual-reality experience.”

He also raised concerns about safety. “What if it is accessed by someone not in their right mind?” he said. “Or a child? Or if it is used to abuse others? What if it doesn’t result in immediate or peaceful death and the individual is left alone without any recourse to call for help?”

Friday, December 10, 2021

Motivating A Kid who does lousy on College Tests is Important

 "Overarching everything needed for good test prep are cognitive and emotional flexibility, problem-solving and working memory, executive functions students need to navigate tests of any kind, especially “high-stakes” ones — and in this area, parents can have a huge impact."


SO your kid get's a shit score??????

What to say  : “I love you, no matter how you do, or how hard you work” lowers pressure and stress and lets kids know their parents are on their side and have their back, making it easier to charge into battle, work hard, and know that, if they get licked, they have a safe base to retreat to, to regroup, and, if they want, to try again.

BULLSHIT  - Say this -  You obviously don't care that you your future is relegated to limited economic opportunities -mostly shit boring jobs and the lack of esteem and anxiety that will produce;i ncluding shit relationships and producing kids as fucking unmotivated -mentally lazy  and probably obese like you as well.

You will become a drunk and druggie and eventually a trump style conservative where you can hang out with the only schmucks that will become your tribe. 

Truth is -You fucking disgust me!  Now get off TicTok and start studying!

Thursday, July 18, 2019

America is suffering from a Viral Cancer !- A White Older ignorant Human Strain

 

One is put in mind of H.L. Mencken: -- “As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” There will always be some defective aggressive charismatic dangerous sociopaths hanging outside the norms of a decent society -like a virus trying to enter a cell -BUT like cells need their nuclei penetrated - Society needs tens of millions of defective citizens to open the gates for a life long grifter and racist and basically worthless human being like trump to penetrate. The moral lowlife's in America have metastisized into a 40 million strong human cancer! Their greed and stupidity and fear fed and unified by social media and America's first network propaganda machine devoted to the incomprehensible and corrupt and incompetent policies of trumpism. The genie is out of the bottle and with the moral collapse of the GOP and the religious community: We will just have to wait for the upheaval-coming soon -of the demographic changes which will save us AND cleanse our culture of the old white ex urban human bacteria (a virulent immoral strain of ignorance) which has infected it. Once and for all!

 
     

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Uteroil -Energy created from Aborted Fetus" -Save The World!

Abortions Create Energy -Save The Earth - UTEROIL ENERGY Announced - From Fetus"

 Placent Ready for Uteroil processing
The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.

"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."
He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."

"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.

He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

Dr. Pipick cont.; "The Arabs and Russia and Africans better figure out some new way to pay for screwing their people and paying for weapons -heh heh"

 shoulda been made into Uteroil
When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."
"But, said the President - i don't wanta see folks creatin a new market by creatin and sellin dead babies for "Uteroil" - Uh Uh! - But them Muslims could probably make a little extra cash and cut way down on their production of future suicide bombers by sending us lots of aborted Mulims to turn into clean energy."


Uteroil could send us back into Tents
As KingFaisal of Saudi Arabia said twenty years ago : "Don't be greedy my Arab brothers - the stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones."

Too late!