Top Comics Begin "Laugh-You Fucking Fundamentalist" Tour

Chris Rock -who will lead the Middle East Tour said today -

"Hey -you show me a country where there is no stand-up Comedy - and i will show you a violent motherfucking stink hole of a place guaranteed. "

He said; "Here's a typical Muslim fundamentalist joke:

" Arak - did you know my cousin blew a Jew? - No! - What You mean Mucak? - Your cousin blew a Jew? He must be killed! - Yes Arak - he blew him up with fifty other infidels -- hahahahahahahhahahahha"

Rock concluded; "Well wer'e gonna change all that and bring some laughs to these repressed uptight -no laughin motha fuckas. - Me and my friends - and i hope we don't get blown."

!Dan AhdootAhmed AhmedFranklyn AjayeRicardo AlemanByron AllenTim AllenWoody AllenLouie AndersonAnt (comedian)Anthony JeselnikCraig AntonJudd ApatowDave AttellBMaria BamfordJanette BarberArj BarkerLeonard BarrRoseanne BarrTodd BarryRob BartlettBruce BaumJoy BeharRichard BelzerSara BenincasaD. C. BennyJack BennyMilton BerleShelley BermanSandra BernhardMichelle BiloonDes BishopJoey BishopLewis BlackChris BlissAndy BlitzJosh BlueBob and Tom Radio: The Comedy TourBill BraudisKevin Brennan (comedian)Neal BrennanDavid BrennerDylan BrodyAlbert BrooksLenny BruceLord BuckleyAndy BumataiGeorge BurnsBill BurrSteve ByrneCLouis C.K.Charlie CallasYisrael CampbellMario CantoneJohn CaparuloJohn CaponeraDrew CareyGeorge CarlinRodney CarringtonCarrot TopJohnny CarsonDarren Carter (comedian)T. K. CarterDana CarveyDick CavettKyle CeaseCedric the EntertainerC cont.Dave ChappelleStuart CharnoHenry ChoMargaret ChoChris McDevittAdam ChristingBlake ClarkLenny ClarkeAndrew Dice ClayJerry ClowerIan CoburnMark Cohen (comedian)Kim ColesChristopher CollinsKaitlin ColomboDane CookJay CooperPat CooperIrwin CoreyBill CosbyTom CotterWayne CotterDave CoulierDavid CrossBilly CrystalDDan BennettRodney DangerfieldVince DantonaJim DavidLarry DavidDov DavidoffTommy DavidsonDeRay DavisMatt Davis (comedian)Ellen DeGeneresJessica DelfinoDennis ReganBarry Diamond (American comedian)Dustin DiamondPhyllis DillerGaylord DinglerNick DiPaoloTom DreesenMike DruckerAl DucharmeJeff DunhamKyle DunniganJeff DuranWill DurstEEarthquake (comedian)Tom EatonChris EdgerlyBill EngvallFMark FajeMitch FatelWayne FedermanHarvey FiersteinChristian FinneganGreg FitzsimmonsJames FlahertyCrista FlanaganCharles FleischerMichael FloorwaxKarith FosterJeff FoxworthyJamie FoxxRedd FoxxF cont.Pablo FranciscoJudah FriedlanderPaul FrisbieDavid FryeGJim GaffiganZach GalifianakisGallagher (comedian)Janeane GarofaloRuss GebhardtJohnny GingerGreg GiraldoTodd GlassGod's PotteryJudy GoldBobcat GoldthwaitGilbert GottfriedJames Gregory (comedian)David Alan GrierEddie GriffinKathy GriffinHBuddy HackettTiffany HaddishBrian HaleyStanley Myron HandelmanChelsea HandlerRalph Harris (comedian)Robin HarrisSteve HarveyAllan HaveyMitch HedbergBrently HeilbronShirley HemphillJohn HensonJohn HentonApril Lee HernándezBill HicksRené HicksStephanie HodgeSteve HofstetterMike HollingsworthPete HolmesD. L. HughleyReginald D. HunterIIrving LouisJKevin James (actor)Richard JeniMaz JobraniJake JohannsenCathe JonesKMilt KamenGabe KaplanValerie KappaAaron KaroAndy KaufmanGloria Calderon KellettRobert Kelly (comedian)Tom KennyAndy KindlerAlan King (comedian)Sam KinisonBill KirchenbauerChristina KirkmanRobert KleinLynne KoplitzJo KoyNick KrollL
at 9:48 AM

Star Celebrities Who Think Dick Cheney Is A Transexual

In addition to the celebrities listed below: - Lyn Cheney - George and laura Bush - Barbara Bush -The Pope - Vladimir Putin -The Dalai Lhama - Jimmy Carter - Oprah Winfrey - Dr. Phil -Rush Limbaugh - Susan Sarandon - Charlie Rose - Candy Crowley and my mother.

Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne-------B--------Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields-------C--------Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox-------D--------Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*-------E--------Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly-------F--------Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie-------G-------Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow-------H-------Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank-------I-------Isaiah Washington-------J-------Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers-------K-------Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell-------L--------Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu-------M-------*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena-------N-------Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox-------P-------Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo-------R-------Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe-------S-------Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin-------T-------T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer-------U-------Uma Thurman-------V-------Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen-------W-------Will Smith William Shatner-------Y-------Yasmine Bleeth-------Z-------Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanel

Star Celebrities Desiring Oral Or Anal Sex With Michelle Obama

Also - President Obama -The Pope -Ahmadinejad - Ayatollah Komeini - Pres. Putin of Russia and Rush Limbaugh - The Queen of England and Susan Rice and Hillary and Bill Clinton - More to follow:

Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne-------B--------Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields-------C--------Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox-------D--------Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*-------E--------Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly-------F--------Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie-------G-------Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow-------H-------Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank-------I-------Isaiah Washington-------J-------Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers-------K-------Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell-------L--------Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu-------M-------*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena-------N-------Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox-------P-------Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo-------R-------Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe-------S-------Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin-------T-------T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer-------U-------Uma Thurman-------V-------Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen-------W-------Will Smith William Shatner-------Y-------Yasmine Bleeth-------Z-------Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanel

Madame DeFarge Is Knitting Again -Just You Wait

Homeowners’ Hard Times Are Good for the Foreclosure Business

The Reomac conference at the Desert Springs J. W. Marriott formally began on Sunday, with a golf tournament. PALM DESERT, Calif. — The celebration started early Saturday, with poolside music and drinks, as partygoers passed around business cards and compared notes on successful techniques for evicting residents who try to stay in bank-owned property, a process they call “cash for


One woman in a T-shirt walked around with a hand-written sign that read “Bank Property” affixed prominently to her chest.
Welcome to the spring 2009 Reomac conference, which has attracted nearly 3,000 real estate agents and property managers to this lush desert resort. The crowd brimmed with a gusto that is hard to find in this recessionary era. The hotel bar did more business on Saturday night than it did on New Year’s Eve. Small wonder: These are the people cashing in on the boom in foreclosed properties.

R.E.O. is industry lingo for “Real Estate Owned,” the term that bankers assign to homes they have taken in a foreclosure. Reomac is the industry group that serves the mortgage default trade, specializing in selling the busted-up American dream.
“
Things are going tremendously,” said Darren Johnson, an R.E.O. agent from the Detroit area, who has handled about 180 bank property sales in the last year. “It has never been this good.”

The conference this year is centered on the “R.E.O. tsunami,” referring not to any natural disaster but to the one caused by the flood of as many as 700,000 bank properties now on the market nationwide. There were just 100,000 in 2006.

The tsunami has leveled off a bit in recent months, because of foreclosure moratoriums imposed by major banks and the Obama administration. But the real estate agents here were told not to worry — the flood will continue for several more years, and probably has not peaked yet.

In February, nearly 45 percent of the home sales nationwide were R.E.O. or so-called short sales, in which homeowners, under duress, sell a property for less than their mortgage, according to the National Association of Realtors. The sales have intensified a nationwide decline in home values. R.E.O. homes typically sell at a 20 percent discount.
The convention at the Desert Springs J. W. Marriott formally began on Sunday, with a golf tournament, featuring a “19th hole” bash cosponsored by Coldwell Banker, the giant real estate firm. Other convention-goers were at the resort spa, getting top-priced treatments, like the protein-rich caviar scrub for $185.
“What we have seen so far is just a hint of what is coming down the pike in the next three years,” Marty Higgins, a San Francisco real estate broker who specializes in apartment buildings, said as he stepped off his golf cart, smoking a cigar.

The convention’s biggest party was the so-called Tsunami Club event on Sunday night, at an 18,000-square-foot stone house in Rancho Mirage. In the grand foyer, two young women in leather boots, black bustiers and shorts danced atop platforms to a D.J.’s club music, while waiters in white shirts buzzed around with trays filled with hors d’oeuvres and drinks. Beyond was a row of craps and blackjack tables and a pool surrounded by palm trees, with a view of a desert mountain range.

“Everyone wins but the loser,” one man yelled at a blackjack table, when the cards turned against him.
The event also included a selection of hand-rolled cigars, a special Scotch lounge and a patio set aside just for networking.

Educational seminars take place on Monday and Tuesday, where the convention-goers can learn about how a giant wave of foreclosed commercial properties is expected to come in behind the flood of bank-owned homes.

They will also learn how to deal with challenges associated with handling vacant properties, like pools the color of pea soup (the color they turn as algae takes over a pool that has not been maintained), as well as what to do when they find a vacant home with abandoned pets.

Stephen Christie, a Westlake Village, Calif., broker, said the efforts by the Obama administration to slow down foreclosures made no sense.
“It is screwing it all up,” Mr. Christie said, as a waiter at the hotel sushi bar handed him a giant tray of fresh-cut fish. “Those people who are behind on their loans are still going to end up in the same place. It is just a Band-aid.”


Sherry Waite, who serves an affluent community in southern California near San Diego, is eagerly awaiting the foreclosure of some of her neighborhood’s high-priced homes.

“Three dozen R.E.O. listings between $1.8 and $8 million,” she said, a pomegranate martini in her hand, as she cited what she soon hopes to be handling. “Hello! Those are big numbers.”

Benny Nassiri, who with a partner handles R.E.O. sales in California, Kansas and Louisiana, was sitting poolside Sunday on a chaise longue in a red-white-and-blue bikini, Dior sunglasses and Bebe sandals, sipping a beer and asking her assistant about the party planned that night.

Then a call came in on her cellphone, related to a property she had put on the market just two days ago in Carson, Calif.
“Asking price $360,” Ms. Nassiri told the prospective bidder. “Yes, we already have a couple of offers. Are you ready to make one?”
The call complete, she had her aide send an e-mail message to the possible buyer, as she promised him she could help arrange financing. Sales certainly are hot, she said. “There just is not enough inventory,” she said, before looking once again poolside.

"Let em eat cake" Said Marie Antoinette concerning the peasants - and three months later her head rolled into a basket- as the peasants screamed with delight.

Celebs Who Said They Would Have Anal Sex With Obama

Also -The Pope -Ahmadinejad - Ayatollah Komeini - Pres. Putin of Russia and Rush Limbaugh - The Queen of England and Michelle Obama - More to follow:

Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne
-------B--------
Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields
-------C--------
Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox

-------D--------
Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*
-------E--------
Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly
-------F--------
Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie
-------G-------
Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow
-------H-------
Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank
-------I-------
Isaiah Washington
-------J-------
Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers
-------K-------
Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell
-------L--------
Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu
-------M-------
*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena
-------N-------
Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox
-------P-------
Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo
-------R-------
Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe
-------S-------
Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin
-------T-------
T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer
-------U-------
Uma Thurman
-------V-------
Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen
-------W-------
Will Smith William Shatner
-------Y-------
Yasmine Bleeth
-------Z-------
Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanel

" North Korea Says Sarah Palin Is From Outer Space

Sarah Palin Annihilation IS Reason For North Korean Rocket Launch

U.S. officials say. U.S. counterproliferation and intelligence officials have confirmed Japanese news reports of the launch of a North korean Rocket today.

North Korea announced its intention to launch the satellite in February. Regional powers worry the claim is a cover for the launch of a long-range missile capable of reaching Alaska. (to annihilate Sarah Palin)

National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair said earlier this month that all indications suggest North Korea will in fact launch a satellite and that the North Korean's reason is -- "Sarah Palin and her Alien spore."

Il Jong Cockhead -North Korea's leader has previously gone on record about his concerns regarding Sarah Palin "That woman is not human! - She is an Alien from another world - and she must be destroyed along with her Alien spore. (family)"

He said at the UN yesterday: " When a country as powerful as the United States was considering her for a leadership position we started taking her very seriously, as it was obvious to our Ancient Wise Men that she was a seriously damaged human being ."He continued; "We are a poor and humble nation but we cannot sit idly by and not be prepared to annihilate her when she leaves her human form and starts to destroy the world -

Think of the great western movie epic "Aliens" -that creature is Sarah Palin without her costume.""I know that sounds preposterous - but we have a mystical culture going back ten thousand years - and our wise men are shitting in their robes over that monstor."

America Needs Less Guns or More Bulletproof Vests

Guns Don’t Kill People” says the NRA “People Kill People” – Try Mass Murder With A Rock You Fucking Redneck Morons!

The mass shootings that left 14 people dead in Binghamton, N.Y., on Friday were horrifying, depressing, nationally wrenching. They were also, to some extent, unsurprising in a society where the term "mass shooting" has lost its status as unthinkable aberration and become mere fodder for a fresh news cycle.

"We have to guard against the senseless violence that this tragedy represents," President Barack Obama said in Europe on Saturday. Senseless violence: Two centuries from now, if we're not careful, it could be an epitaph for our era.

People are of course responsible for their actions, but it's hard to avoid wondering what's afoot in the darkest recesses of what we like to call American exceptionalism.

For so long, the national narrative has been so bullish about equality of opportunity, so persuasive in its romance of possibility for all.

Is it so subversive to speculate, then, that when the engine of possibility runs into roadblocks, people can't cope?

(Above is from an AP commentary)

Study Shows Children From Non - Broken Homes Are Miserable

" Children with parents living together with them - are now considered odd by their classmates -and are being tormented in school."

So says Dr. Moishe Pipick - President of research at the National Education Association - he announced the results from a new study on "Divorce In America and it's Impact on Children."

The Doctor stated, "Ninety percent of married men and women stay together out of guilt and misguided responsibility - or for financial reasons - and the study proves conclusively - that they are all fucked up and miserable - and that they make their kids crazier than divorced couples."

He went on; "And now these kids are hearing things like this - from the overwhelming majority of kids in school - who come from broken homes:"

"Hey - Johnny - Whatsamata - your father too poor or chicken to leave your mom?"

"Hey Mary -whatsamata - is your mom too fat to find another guy?"

Dr. Pipick continued; "I mean that is the more benign form of heckling - and these kids are taking a real beating because their parents are too selfish or chickenshit - or too fucked up to break-up. ( some kids are even spray painting 'Too Fucked-Up To Break Up!" on these poor kids lockers.

"Anyway the facts are in - and the message is clear - Get divorced or just split before you ruin your children."

Dr. Pipick concluded --"Even if your happy! - don't be selfish! --Do it for the kids!."

I hope Michelle Obama is listening.

Most Politicians and Rich and Connected Folks Are fair and Honest

April Fool

Because with one third of Obama's cabinet choices turning out to be tax cheats who got caught only after the vetting process - we now know what a fucking over the average citizen is getting - by the rich and powerful and well connected.

And we you think the AIG bonuses are shameful?

The IRS should stand for "The Institution Regulating Some Folks" - Us working class folks that is.

Sarah Palin IS Reason For North Korean Rocket Launch

U.S. officials say. U.S. counterproliferation and intelligence officials have confirmed Japanese news reports of the expected launch between April 4 and 8.
North Korea announced its intention to launch the satellite in February. Regional powers worry the claim is a cover for the launch of a long-range missile capable of reaching Alaska. (to annihilate Sarah Palin)



National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair said earlier this month that all indications suggest North Korea will in fact launch a satellite and that the reason is -- "Sarah Palin and her Alien spore."



Il Jong Cockhead -North Korea's leader has previously gone on record about his concerns regarding Sarah Palin "That woman is not human! - She is an Alien from another world - and she must be destroyed along with her Alien spore. (family)"



He said at the UN yesterday: " When a country as powerful as the United States was considering her for a leadership position we started taking her very seriously, as it was obvious to our Ancient Wise Men that she was a seriously damaged human being .



"He continued; "We are a poor and humble nation but we cannot sit idly by and not be prepared to annihilate her when she leaves her human form and starts to destroy the world - think of the great western movie epic "Aliens" -that creature is Sarah Palin without her costume."



"I know that sounds preposterous - but we have a mystical culture going back ten thousand years - and our wise men are shitting in their robes over that monstor,"



He concluded; " We don't want or need a ballistic missile - but we have to be sure wer'e ready when she breaks out of her pod"



Wow - i think he may have somethin there.

Fox TV Announces -"Spot The Pigs" -Starring Maury Povich

Moishe Pipick - head of program development at Fox television announced an exciting new reality program today - which will star Maury (bang bang) Povich.

"Maury is perfect for this show! - and we are so excited to see him back on prime time tv - and he has promised not to fuck any of the production staff - and - oh - here's theshow's premise;"

"Ten women - covered in those schmata robes that the Arab Muslim men think are so attractive - will be questioned by several couples who will compete - through their questioning and analysis - to figure out which one of the women is a georgeous'Piece of Ass' ( as we say in the trade)."

Pipick continued his show description; - "Nine of the women are "Pigs" - hence the name "Spot the Pigs" - and the couple who picks the one 'Piece of Ass' wins unbelievable prizes and lots of cashola"

"The couples are allowed to look at baby pictures of the women - pictures of their parents - and get to meet and question their boyfriends and/or husbands and past lovers - and they can ask them to move around and dance and - can ask questions about their sex lives - etcetera."

"Point being - as an example - that if you ask a women wether she's ever had anal sex - and her eyes kinda roll around in a weird kinda way under the burka - like it's a horrible thought - well you might deduce that she has an ass like a beer barrel -which no guy would want to stick his pecker in:

'Well you get the point (oops a pun) - and Maury will of course be adding to the fun as only he can do - and boy when those robes come off - it's gonna be a riot! - and very dramatic and exciting."

"Oh - and all the pigs get an extreme makeover as a prize - and the 'Piece of Ass' gets a role in a porno movie."

Pipick concluded; "We wanted to call the show "Pick the Piece of Ass" -but our network censors thought it was anti- feminist."

USA Should Issue "Breeding Visas"

By 2030 - the United States (Los Unidos Estatos) will be sixty eight percent (and growing) Hispanic - sooooooooooooo:

Just Remember - as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.

Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!

Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.

I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!

If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.

 SO -Let's issue  "Breeding Visas!" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say 30 years:Your In! - Welcome To America!

It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - pay the bills!

Bolsheviks Harass Gentry In Their Homes - Demand Money

Russia 1917? - Nope - April 2009! - America

First some history:

The October Revolution/The Struggle For Power and the Rise of the Bolsheviks -Russia 1917

"On the one hand, “The property owning classes were becoming more conservative and the masses more radical (Reed 1)” Soon after the Provisional Government was in power many of the problems that helped them overthrow the Tsar still existed: Russia was still doing badly in the war, bread was still scarce and the people were calling for more drastic changes. The newly released radical leaders were whipping the common people into a frenzy and the policies of the Provisional Government were not helping them." = Wikipedia



So - cut to Moishe Pipick's wife - looking out her bay window overlooking Long Island Sound in Fairfield, Connecticut - she yells:



"Hey Moishey - There's a bus and some really mad people outside our driveway with sign saying - "Give back the money you greedy AIG Jew - or else!"



"Oye vey - don't worry Sarah - it's just the peasants from over in Bridgeport -who think they can get something for free - so they can go back home and drink themselves to death while watching American Idol."



"But Moishe" - says Sarah Pipick -"Maybe you should give back some of your bonus money - we have enough already - and who needs a pogrom right here in Fairfield?"



"Fuck them - i did my job! -I generated volume! - I was not responsible for their credit and collections - i never even saw a credit application - why are they picking on me? - I have a legal contract spelling out my responsibilities - what is this ?"



"It's like the Russian Revolution with the fucking peasants going nuts and the Bolsheviks just egging them on!"



"But Moishe - what should i do -there on the lawn?"



"Call the police and let out the Dobermans -and start packing!"



"Wer'e moving to Germany!"

Fertile Immigrants Can Hump US Out Of Debt

By 2030 - the United States (Los Unidos Estatos) will be sixty eight percent (and growing) Hispanic - sooooooooooooo:




Just Remember as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.

Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!

Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.

I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!

If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.

Maybe we issue temporary "Breeding Visas" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say ten years:

Your In! - Welcome To America

It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - paying the bills!



I just hope THEY don't wise up down the road and start passing "Soak the Gringo's" legislation - and putting families with less than five children in a higher tax bracket.