Thursday, July 24, 2008
"Homeless people have a tiny carbon imprint - and an increase of twenty percent in homeless Americans would be like taking ten million cars off the streets" said Al Gore at a world conference on planet warming in Helsinki today.
He further stated; " American economic conditions should drive another eleven to thirteen million people into homelesness over the next three years which is a tremendous gift to the Planet."
"And with current projections for world wide plague and famine and water deprivation -- and deaths from poor air quality in India and China -- along with HIV and general slaughter in Sub Saharan Africa :
We think the Polar Bear might just find himself back on solid ground by 2015"
He concluded ; "And all of that " destructive sociological carbon reduction" ( or DSCR as wer'e now calling it) -coupled with industrial world carbon reduction efforts - along with scientific progress --- might just result in a long term world wide carbon deficiency problem?"
"And goodbye plants and trees!" heh heh heh
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Increase In Homeless People Is Good For The Planet Says Al Gore
"Homeless people have a tiny carbon imprint - and an increase of twenty percent in homeless Americans would be like taking ten million cars off the streets" said Al Gore at a world conference on planet warming in Helsinki today.
He further stated; " American economic conditions should drive another eleven to thirteen million people into homelesness over the next three years which is a tremendous gift to the Planet."
'And with current projections for plague and famine and water deprivation and deaths from poor air quality in India and China -- along with HIV and general slaughter in Sub Saharan Africa - we think the Polar bear might just find himself back on solid ground by 2015"
He concluded ; "And all of this "sociological carbon reduction" (as wer'e now calling it) -coupled with industrial world carbon reduction efforts - along with scientific progress --- might just result in a long term world wide carbon deficiency problem?"
"And goodbye plants and trees!" heh heh heh
He further stated; " American economic conditions should drive another eleven to thirteen million people into homelesness over the next three years which is a tremendous gift to the Planet."
'And with current projections for plague and famine and water deprivation and deaths from poor air quality in India and China -- along with HIV and general slaughter in Sub Saharan Africa - we think the Polar bear might just find himself back on solid ground by 2015"
He concluded ; "And all of this "sociological carbon reduction" (as wer'e now calling it) -coupled with industrial world carbon reduction efforts - along with scientific progress --- might just result in a long term world wide carbon deficiency problem?"
"And goodbye plants and trees!" heh heh heh
Sunday, July 20, 2008
McDonalds To Sell Puppy McNuggets During Olympics
Sounds farfetched? - Well the big greedy corporations are so busy kissing Chinese assholes that it shouldn't surprise ya if they agreed to market a tasty Chinese delicacy - doggie meat!
"China, already the world’s second-largest advertising market, after the United States, is a dream for consumer product companies. “For most international brands here, China is the growth market for the next 10 years,” said Jonathan Chajet, strategic director at Interbrand, which consults on brands.
I guess nobody gives a shit about the genocide in Darfur or Robert Mugabe's unabated reign of terrror - or those psycho generals in Myannamar -- all of which the Chinese think is no ones business but their own - or Tibet -- or .............
Oh what's the use......
The multinational corporations would sell their mothers for an increase in market share and the Chinese could sell frozen aborted female placentas and no one would say boo!
You average folks all are too busy figuring out how to keep shopping --now that the financial shysters have just about squeezed you dry -- to give a shit about anything important. (like a boycott of some of these corporate monstors)
And the Chinese are laughing their asses off at us Western pussies who they will soon push out of the front row --on the world stage.
Enjoy the Olympics!
"China, already the world’s second-largest advertising market, after the United States, is a dream for consumer product companies. “For most international brands here, China is the growth market for the next 10 years,” said Jonathan Chajet, strategic director at Interbrand, which consults on brands.
I guess nobody gives a shit about the genocide in Darfur or Robert Mugabe's unabated reign of terrror - or those psycho generals in Myannamar -- all of which the Chinese think is no ones business but their own - or Tibet -- or .............
Oh what's the use......
The multinational corporations would sell their mothers for an increase in market share and the Chinese could sell frozen aborted female placentas and no one would say boo!
You average folks all are too busy figuring out how to keep shopping --now that the financial shysters have just about squeezed you dry -- to give a shit about anything important. (like a boycott of some of these corporate monstors)
And the Chinese are laughing their asses off at us Western pussies who they will soon push out of the front row --on the world stage.
Enjoy the Olympics!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Fox TV Announces "Smarter Than A Cock?" -With Britney Spears
Fox TV -- which continues to knock reality show hits out of the park with shows like "Hell's Kitchen" and "Smarter Than A Fifth Grader" -- is kicking it up a notch!
Irwin Bloomis head of Fox development said "Smarter Than A Cock" will pit a male Rooster against an inner city black high school student -- as they compete to "peck out"the answers to a series of word and math puzzles."
"Roosters are quite clever and in test runs their pecking solutions beat the black kids written and oral answers most of the time ," said Bloomis.
The digibandit Hollywood reporter asked; "Are you telling us that a Cock beat a black high school student in a math and english competition?"
To which Bloomis responded ;"Absolutely --yes! -- and that's not to demean the black kids."Cocks are smart and as a matter of fact -- we are considering a reality special called "Can A Cock Beat A Chink Fifth Grader?"
Oh - and the choice of Britney as host? -"Who can handle cocks better than her" - said Mr. Bloomis.
Irwin Bloomis head of Fox development said "Smarter Than A Cock" will pit a male Rooster against an inner city black high school student -- as they compete to "peck out"the answers to a series of word and math puzzles."
"Roosters are quite clever and in test runs their pecking solutions beat the black kids written and oral answers most of the time ," said Bloomis.
The digibandit Hollywood reporter asked; "Are you telling us that a Cock beat a black high school student in a math and english competition?"
To which Bloomis responded ;"Absolutely --yes! -- and that's not to demean the black kids."Cocks are smart and as a matter of fact -- we are considering a reality special called "Can A Cock Beat A Chink Fifth Grader?"
Oh - and the choice of Britney as host? -"Who can handle cocks better than her" - said Mr. Bloomis.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Jesus Died For The Jews Not The Goyim
JERUSALEM — A three-foot-tall tablet with 87 lines of Hebrew that scholars believe dates from the decades just before the birth of Jesus is causing a quiet stir in biblical and archaeological circles, especially because it may speak of a messiah who will rise from the dead after three days.
If such a messianic description really is there, it will contribute to a developing re-evaluation of both popular and scholarly views of Jesus, since it suggests that the story of his death and resurrection was not unique but part of a recognized Jewish tradition at the time.
“Resurrection after three days becomes a motif developed before Jesus, which runs contrary to nearly all scholarship. What happens in the New Testament was adopted by Jesus and his followers based on an earlier messiah story.”
"This gives the Last Supper an absolutely different meaning. To shed blood is not for the sins of people but to bring redemption to Israel.”
So poor Jesus died for the Jews -- and now we know that Paul - the biblical equivalent of Karl Roves - spun his crucifiction into a religion that labeled them as "Christ killers"
Wow - what irony!
but jesus knows!
If such a messianic description really is there, it will contribute to a developing re-evaluation of both popular and scholarly views of Jesus, since it suggests that the story of his death and resurrection was not unique but part of a recognized Jewish tradition at the time.
“Resurrection after three days becomes a motif developed before Jesus, which runs contrary to nearly all scholarship. What happens in the New Testament was adopted by Jesus and his followers based on an earlier messiah story.”
"This gives the Last Supper an absolutely different meaning. To shed blood is not for the sins of people but to bring redemption to Israel.”
So poor Jesus died for the Jews -- and now we know that Paul - the biblical equivalent of Karl Roves - spun his crucifiction into a religion that labeled them as "Christ killers"
Wow - what irony!
but jesus knows!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Aircraft Carrier nets To be Used In Williams Tennis Match
Serena Williams Scared The Shit Out OF Russians At Wimbledon
(first reported at last year's wimbledon)
Those tall leggy Russian tennis players who Serena Williams defeated at Wimbledon complained to the British Tennis Society today; "I was constantly afraid that she would rip through the net and trample me like a giant black Rhinocerous" said Elenya Smyrynosposkayovich after losing to Williams ,whose nickname is Gevaltnegtuckismaya --which means "A giant black ass rolling down a hill" in Russian.
The head of the British safety committee said they were going to install special tennis nets with safety features to prevent Serena from ploughing right on through when she thunders up to the net; "Our tests have shown, said Sir Arthur Cornwitz, that a woman of her size -- with those enormous buttocks and ham hocks and traveling at high speed with those huge black breasts thrusting out like twin battering rams -- could plow through the standard net and take out not only her opponent, but the line referee -- two or three ball retrievers and approximately seven spectators in the first row of the center court."
He continued; "We approached the head of engineering for the Royal Navy and they have devised a protective system similar to the ones used on British aircraft carriers to stop our planes from crashing through and into the ocean -- but Admiral Sir Meyer Pinsky Captain of the battle carrier HMS Horatio Nelson expressed his concern; "Having seen the thrusting power of this amazing amazon on the courts -- I'm not sure if the jet nets will hold her."
When confronted with the dilemma Serena said; "Yep --the only thing that might hold me back is those big fine loin chops of maybe Shaq O'Neal? -- and i wouldn't bet on it if i was you --butt (heh heh) i sure would like to test his burly black ass!"
(first reported at last year's wimbledon)
Those tall leggy Russian tennis players who Serena Williams defeated at Wimbledon complained to the British Tennis Society today; "I was constantly afraid that she would rip through the net and trample me like a giant black Rhinocerous" said Elenya Smyrynosposkayovich after losing to Williams ,whose nickname is Gevaltnegtuckismaya --which means "A giant black ass rolling down a hill" in Russian.
The head of the British safety committee said they were going to install special tennis nets with safety features to prevent Serena from ploughing right on through when she thunders up to the net; "Our tests have shown, said Sir Arthur Cornwitz, that a woman of her size -- with those enormous buttocks and ham hocks and traveling at high speed with those huge black breasts thrusting out like twin battering rams -- could plow through the standard net and take out not only her opponent, but the line referee -- two or three ball retrievers and approximately seven spectators in the first row of the center court."
He continued; "We approached the head of engineering for the Royal Navy and they have devised a protective system similar to the ones used on British aircraft carriers to stop our planes from crashing through and into the ocean -- but Admiral Sir Meyer Pinsky Captain of the battle carrier HMS Horatio Nelson expressed his concern; "Having seen the thrusting power of this amazing amazon on the courts -- I'm not sure if the jet nets will hold her."
When confronted with the dilemma Serena said; "Yep --the only thing that might hold me back is those big fine loin chops of maybe Shaq O'Neal? -- and i wouldn't bet on it if i was you --butt (heh heh) i sure would like to test his burly black ass!"
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Best Torture For Muslim Extremists - Nagging American Wives
Muslims treat their women like dogs! - As a result they have NO idea how viscious a nagging wife can be -especially a good old fashioned average "American Nagging Wife"(i don't include girlfriend nagging (just as viscious) because Muslims don't have girlfriends - that would imply courtship and options for the women)
So ou put a suspected Arab terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging American wife and they will be screaming; "Hey - no fair - i was supposed to get waterboarded - please Allah - kill me -please stop her! -ok ok the bomb maker is....."
Oh - and that's just your average run of the mill American nagging wife, For really hard cases we bring in maybe a Jewish wife whose husband hasn't touched her in five years because she gained ninety pounds since the wedding and all he hears after a sixteen hour day in the jewelry exchange is:"Morris -you failure -you weak piece of shit -where have you been =I'm late for mahjong - i should have married Abe - he's a doctor -he lives in Scarsdale - he still has hair ......." Well - you know the drill.
You put this viscious nagging Jewess in a room with Al Zaweirdi - he'll give you Osama's address and private telephone number in twenty minutes -maybe less?Remember -these lucky dogs have NEVER been nagged by a woman -- If a Muslim woman were to say even; "Mamood - i think maybe you should tale a bath -it's been six months -whaddya think?" - then - in the morning she would be in the town square trying to dodge an avalanche of stones -andd that would be a relief after what Mamood would put her through -and the children too.
How about:"Mamood -you stinky failure of a shit husband - you weak hunk of crap - why don't you DO Something - why don't we ever go out -why don't you touch me - you worm - where have you been - your friends are all you care about - you eat too much - lose some weight -for God's sake get a raise - turn off the ball game - help with the children - what's wrong with you - see a psychiatrist ......
"At this point Mamood would be writing down the location of every Mosque in Sadr City with munitions in it -and then he'd eagerly rat out his son and his brothers.
C'mon you CIA guys - give it a try - you know I'm right - use one of YOUR wives.
So ou put a suspected Arab terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging American wife and they will be screaming; "Hey - no fair - i was supposed to get waterboarded - please Allah - kill me -please stop her! -ok ok the bomb maker is....."
Oh - and that's just your average run of the mill American nagging wife, For really hard cases we bring in maybe a Jewish wife whose husband hasn't touched her in five years because she gained ninety pounds since the wedding and all he hears after a sixteen hour day in the jewelry exchange is:"Morris -you failure -you weak piece of shit -where have you been =I'm late for mahjong - i should have married Abe - he's a doctor -he lives in Scarsdale - he still has hair ......." Well - you know the drill.
You put this viscious nagging Jewess in a room with Al Zaweirdi - he'll give you Osama's address and private telephone number in twenty minutes -maybe less?Remember -these lucky dogs have NEVER been nagged by a woman -- If a Muslim woman were to say even; "Mamood - i think maybe you should tale a bath -it's been six months -whaddya think?" - then - in the morning she would be in the town square trying to dodge an avalanche of stones -andd that would be a relief after what Mamood would put her through -and the children too.
How about:"Mamood -you stinky failure of a shit husband - you weak hunk of crap - why don't you DO Something - why don't we ever go out -why don't you touch me - you worm - where have you been - your friends are all you care about - you eat too much - lose some weight -for God's sake get a raise - turn off the ball game - help with the children - what's wrong with you - see a psychiatrist ......
"At this point Mamood would be writing down the location of every Mosque in Sadr City with munitions in it -and then he'd eagerly rat out his son and his brothers.
C'mon you CIA guys - give it a try - you know I'm right - use one of YOUR wives.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Fox Announces "Dancing with The Cars"
Outbidding Spike and YuTv and the Discovery channel – Fox Television announced today that it has acquired world-wide production and distribution rights to “Dancing With The Cars” from “What Hump?” productions.
Standing on a busy overpas of the 495 freeway in Los angeles – Hymen Berkowitz, president of Fox Tv and Dave Nelson –head of “What Hump?” – spoke with Digibandit Hollywood reporter, Elise Clitbloom.
“This revolutionary concept combines elements of “Dances with Wolves” and “Dancing With The Stars” -- in that professional dance teams will compete while dodging cars on one of the busiest amd most dangerous highways in the world.” Said Hymen berkowitz.
“Doing the Mambo in an air conditioned studio is like eating pussy next to Mamboing on the 495 with road raging Angelenos traveling bumper to bumper at ninety miles per hour across six lanes of traffic in the smog and sweltering heat.” -- said Nelson.
‘Aren’t you worried about injuries?” -asked Clitbloom.
They replied -- “NO”
Standing on a busy overpas of the 495 freeway in Los angeles – Hymen Berkowitz, president of Fox Tv and Dave Nelson –head of “What Hump?” – spoke with Digibandit Hollywood reporter, Elise Clitbloom.
“This revolutionary concept combines elements of “Dances with Wolves” and “Dancing With The Stars” -- in that professional dance teams will compete while dodging cars on one of the busiest amd most dangerous highways in the world.” Said Hymen berkowitz.
“Doing the Mambo in an air conditioned studio is like eating pussy next to Mamboing on the 495 with road raging Angelenos traveling bumper to bumper at ninety miles per hour across six lanes of traffic in the smog and sweltering heat.” -- said Nelson.
‘Aren’t you worried about injuries?” -asked Clitbloom.
They replied -- “NO”
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Fox Announces - 'Old Demented People Borrowers"
Taking their lead from NBC’s new hit reality series “Baby Borrowers” – the savy and socially commited programmers at Fox Television announced the introduction of “Old Demented People Borrowers” into their fall prime time lineup.
Fox TV head – Hymen Yenta said at a press conference in the Hollywood home for the aged today; “ The old folks you see here are a sample of the demented and incompetent folks who will be available for “borrowing” by middle age couples who will get the chance to hone their nurturing skills in preparation for that imminent time when their own parents will become demented.”
“It’s a win win situation all around” he said – “The families of the “borrowed” will receive a hefty payment to defray their nursing home costs and the “borrowers”will get training and experience in preparation for handling their own –soon to become demented parents.”
Bandit Hollywood reporter Lisa Clitowsky asked Mr. Yenta, “So Hymen – what’s in it for the “borrowed” folks?”
He replied; “They don’t know what’s up anyway Lisa –at least they won’t get slapped around by those black male nurses for a while.”
Looks like another winner from Fox television!
Fox TV head – Hymen Yenta said at a press conference in the Hollywood home for the aged today; “ The old folks you see here are a sample of the demented and incompetent folks who will be available for “borrowing” by middle age couples who will get the chance to hone their nurturing skills in preparation for that imminent time when their own parents will become demented.”
“It’s a win win situation all around” he said – “The families of the “borrowed” will receive a hefty payment to defray their nursing home costs and the “borrowers”will get training and experience in preparation for handling their own –soon to become demented parents.”
Bandit Hollywood reporter Lisa Clitowsky asked Mr. Yenta, “So Hymen – what’s in it for the “borrowed” folks?”
He replied; “They don’t know what’s up anyway Lisa –at least they won’t get slapped around by those black male nurses for a while.”
Looks like another winner from Fox television!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Ford Introduces 250 gallon Fuel Tank On New Models
Ford VP of engineering - Dr, Hymen Goldfarb -announced today:
"With the price of gas increasing steadily -and with no relief in sight - Ford is allowing buyers of their 2010 autos and trucks - the option of buying up to 250 gallons at a time on all standard models -and up to 1.000 gallons with it's biggest suv's and trucks."
He stated, "At Ford we wanted folks to get some hedge against spiraling fuel costs -if you fill er up today at say five bucks a gallon - and in a month it would cost you say six bucks -well - that's a thousand dollar savings if youv'e got our "Jumbo 1,000 Sports Tanker."
Digibandit automotive reporter - Myrna Cuntwich asked Dr. Hymen "But doesn't carrying that much fuel create the potential for huge and disastrous explosions ?"
He replied -- "Yes!"
"With the price of gas increasing steadily -and with no relief in sight - Ford is allowing buyers of their 2010 autos and trucks - the option of buying up to 250 gallons at a time on all standard models -and up to 1.000 gallons with it's biggest suv's and trucks."
He stated, "At Ford we wanted folks to get some hedge against spiraling fuel costs -if you fill er up today at say five bucks a gallon - and in a month it would cost you say six bucks -well - that's a thousand dollar savings if youv'e got our "Jumbo 1,000 Sports Tanker."
Digibandit automotive reporter - Myrna Cuntwich asked Dr. Hymen "But doesn't carrying that much fuel create the potential for huge and disastrous explosions ?"
He replied -- "Yes!"
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Priests Should Be Casrated After Taking Final Vows
They won't need their nuts anymore anyway - and a lot of children will be saved from getting ravaged by the hordes of queer priests at "Club Vatican"
And since the Church refuses to ordain women or let men have normal sex lives - the Church is a haven for fruit cakes who have a "religious watering hole" to stalk their prey.
And -as we have found out - Your local Church has provided a fertile hunting ground with tens of thousands of victims - lots of kids who will never get over the trauma of being sexually assaulted (and by a trusted emissarry of the Lord no less).
And if you think it's not business as usual in the "God want's me to put my staff in your mouth" business - then you must be delusional!
You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Jessica Simpson walks into his bedroom naked.
So - i say - "Off with their nuts" - that ought to put a crimp (oops) in the recruitment of queers into "Club Vatican."
Oh -and not to worry --God will keep their nuts safe until they get to Heaven.
And since the Church refuses to ordain women or let men have normal sex lives - the Church is a haven for fruit cakes who have a "religious watering hole" to stalk their prey.
And -as we have found out - Your local Church has provided a fertile hunting ground with tens of thousands of victims - lots of kids who will never get over the trauma of being sexually assaulted (and by a trusted emissarry of the Lord no less).
And if you think it's not business as usual in the "God want's me to put my staff in your mouth" business - then you must be delusional!
You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Jessica Simpson walks into his bedroom naked.
So - i say - "Off with their nuts" - that ought to put a crimp (oops) in the recruitment of queers into "Club Vatican."
Oh -and not to worry --God will keep their nuts safe until they get to Heaven.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Fox Announces- "America's Most Talented Folks on Medication"
Think -‘American idol” meets “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”
Most of the population (across all demographic groups) is now taking drugs –or a combination of them:
Kids are line up at their summer camps to get their daily doses of Ritalin - mom and dad are taking bi-polar meds and woofing down pain killers and booze and alcohol - teenagers are basically walking pharmaceutical test laboratories - granny and pop pop need refrigerator sized medicine cabinets – and then there are the heavy duty schitzos and paranoids and severely manic and depressed -who with modern pschotropics get along (almost).
And – many of these folks have talent!
They can sing and dance and tell jokes! (juggling, knife throwing –high wire and other circus related activities will not be included).
These varied medicated conditions will provide the audience with a most refreshing and unique entertainment perspective and experience.
Nobody can sing the rthyme and blues or dance the polka like a medicated manic depressive - and nothing enhances a stand up routine like Alzheimer’s (you get the picture I’m sure).
Judging will take into consideration the level and intensity of the individual performers medication (which will be identified graphically in a lower third screen format):
Example --- Gene nelson from Yonkers New York will sing “Im Still Standing” by Elton John while performing a tai chi routine and is currently taking 300 milligrams of prosac – 100 of Valium and ten milligrams of lithium.
Talent judges will all be celebrities who are currently in rehab and heavily medicated themselves (in order to fully appreciate and fairly evaluate the medicated performances)
All contestantswill of course be drug tested to make sure they are not drug free,
Stay tuned!
Most of the population (across all demographic groups) is now taking drugs –or a combination of them:
Kids are line up at their summer camps to get their daily doses of Ritalin - mom and dad are taking bi-polar meds and woofing down pain killers and booze and alcohol - teenagers are basically walking pharmaceutical test laboratories - granny and pop pop need refrigerator sized medicine cabinets – and then there are the heavy duty schitzos and paranoids and severely manic and depressed -who with modern pschotropics get along (almost).
And – many of these folks have talent!
They can sing and dance and tell jokes! (juggling, knife throwing –high wire and other circus related activities will not be included).
These varied medicated conditions will provide the audience with a most refreshing and unique entertainment perspective and experience.
Nobody can sing the rthyme and blues or dance the polka like a medicated manic depressive - and nothing enhances a stand up routine like Alzheimer’s (you get the picture I’m sure).
Judging will take into consideration the level and intensity of the individual performers medication (which will be identified graphically in a lower third screen format):
Example --- Gene nelson from Yonkers New York will sing “Im Still Standing” by Elton John while performing a tai chi routine and is currently taking 300 milligrams of prosac – 100 of Valium and ten milligrams of lithium.
Talent judges will all be celebrities who are currently in rehab and heavily medicated themselves (in order to fully appreciate and fairly evaluate the medicated performances)
All contestantswill of course be drug tested to make sure they are not drug free,
Stay tuned!
Friday, May 30, 2008
People Who Kill Wolves Would Kill a Jew -No Problem
Sadly, in Idaho, wolves are nothing more than another game animal to be managed for the benefit of human hunters.
Beginning on Sept. 15, any Idaho hunter with a hunting license and $10.50 for a wolf tag will be entitled to shoot one wolf, at least until the quota of dead wolves in his region has been reached. And how will a hunter know if the local quota has been reached? There will be a hot line, of course/
A beatiful sentient social pack animal - genetic monarch of our beloved dogs - a magnificent symbol of beauty and freedom and the power and glory of our shrinking natural world;
Slaughtered by pscho red necks morons -for what?
These same sickos would eagerly purchase a game tag for the pure pleasure of shooting a "Wild Jew" -or any person of color.
How in the fuck can we let these pathetic sub humans roam among us with guns and liscences to kill for the pure pleasure of their demented egos?
Call your elected representatives - do something!
Beginning on Sept. 15, any Idaho hunter with a hunting license and $10.50 for a wolf tag will be entitled to shoot one wolf, at least until the quota of dead wolves in his region has been reached. And how will a hunter know if the local quota has been reached? There will be a hot line, of course/
A beatiful sentient social pack animal - genetic monarch of our beloved dogs - a magnificent symbol of beauty and freedom and the power and glory of our shrinking natural world;
Slaughtered by pscho red necks morons -for what?
These same sickos would eagerly purchase a game tag for the pure pleasure of shooting a "Wild Jew" -or any person of color.
How in the fuck can we let these pathetic sub humans roam among us with guns and liscences to kill for the pure pleasure of their demented egos?
Call your elected representatives - do something!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Fov Tv Announces "Stand Up With Conviction"
Once again the rulers of reality have found a way to produce a winning reality show that also benefits society!
It's not a piece of cake adjusting to society after you've done hard time -- but, if a felon is willing to "Stand Up" and turn his conviction into comedy for a nationwide TV audience -- they might just become "America's Funniest Felon"
A portion of all future entertainment earnings by the felons will be given to their victims --- And :"There will be categories for all types of felony offenses EXCEPT child abuse and necrophilia" -said Mike Darnit Fox TV reality president.
Darnit continued,"I just didn't think that there could possibly be anything funny about that one particular type of behavior - and i had to overrule my production people - which i very seldom do."
Mark Burnshit, whose production company will produce the show said;"We are working with the Federal Bureau of Prisons to help us identify potentially funny felons while they are serving their sentences and will send professional comics out to organize stand-up trials in the prison's exercise yards.."
Burnett concluded,"We are currently auditioning celebrity's with felony convictions to host the series - and there certainly is no shortage of qualified applicants."
Stay tuned! -Host recommendations?
It's not a piece of cake adjusting to society after you've done hard time -- but, if a felon is willing to "Stand Up" and turn his conviction into comedy for a nationwide TV audience -- they might just become "America's Funniest Felon"
A portion of all future entertainment earnings by the felons will be given to their victims --- And :"There will be categories for all types of felony offenses EXCEPT child abuse and necrophilia" -said Mike Darnit Fox TV reality president.
Darnit continued,"I just didn't think that there could possibly be anything funny about that one particular type of behavior - and i had to overrule my production people - which i very seldom do."
Mark Burnshit, whose production company will produce the show said;"We are working with the Federal Bureau of Prisons to help us identify potentially funny felons while they are serving their sentences and will send professional comics out to organize stand-up trials in the prison's exercise yards.."
Burnett concluded,"We are currently auditioning celebrity's with felony convictions to host the series - and there certainly is no shortage of qualified applicants."
Stay tuned! -Host recommendations?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
John McCaine Looks Like Casper The Friendly Ghost -- Needs Sun Tan
John McCaine Needs A Sun Tan - "Casper" Has To Go
I just can't get over the resemblance of John McCain to Casper The Friendly Ghost ! (see picture on blog)
And now that it seems his opponent for the presidency will be Barak Obama - this ghostly image is most certainly going to haunt him!
I mean - watching the two of them together will look like a Ku Klux Klan inquisition. This will definitely work against McCain and he should begin getting sun tan treatments immediately.
When the tanned and younger looking McCain appears looking like a stockier version of George Hamilton it will be the end of Obama (and his Cunty wife)
Now that's the kind of strategic advice and guidance you won't get from most high paid political consultants.
Call me Hillary - it's not too late
I just can't get over the resemblance of John McCain to Casper The Friendly Ghost ! (see picture on blog)
And now that it seems his opponent for the presidency will be Barak Obama - this ghostly image is most certainly going to haunt him!
I mean - watching the two of them together will look like a Ku Klux Klan inquisition. This will definitely work against McCain and he should begin getting sun tan treatments immediately.
When the tanned and younger looking McCain appears looking like a stockier version of George Hamilton it will be the end of Obama (and his Cunty wife)
Now that's the kind of strategic advice and guidance you won't get from most high paid political consultants.
Call me Hillary - it's not too late
Monday, May 12, 2008
Laura Bush Forces Jenna To Marry "Henry The Limp"
Remember this blog - well the clock is ticking!
Jenna Bush,fun loving and filled with vitality and spirit; has been pushed into an engagement with a waspy young republican conservative activist from a prominent (connected) West Virginia family.
They are basically rednecks with brooks brothers shirts. Henry is getting his MBA and has a bright future in money and republican politics.
This marriage will last about as long as it takes for Jenna to find someone who can light up her G spot --and spunky jenna won't be bullied by momma Bush for too long.
A Texas friend of Laura's told the bandit; "Laura told Jenna that she didn't want her marrying anyone like her drunken playboy father was when they first met -- and that if it is wasn't for Billy Graham -- GW would have wound up as a goofy drunkard instead of the worst President in American history,.
"She said; "Laura told Jenna to forget about all those silly notions about passion and spontaneity and exciting love and find a good Christian Republican Conservative from a fine family -- and no Kikes or dark skinned types."
Well, unless Henry turns out to be one fine hunka munka dive bomber -- he ain't gonna last long -- i'm betting on Jenna to find a real man!
Jenna Bush,fun loving and filled with vitality and spirit; has been pushed into an engagement with a waspy young republican conservative activist from a prominent (connected) West Virginia family.
They are basically rednecks with brooks brothers shirts. Henry is getting his MBA and has a bright future in money and republican politics.
This marriage will last about as long as it takes for Jenna to find someone who can light up her G spot --and spunky jenna won't be bullied by momma Bush for too long.
A Texas friend of Laura's told the bandit; "Laura told Jenna that she didn't want her marrying anyone like her drunken playboy father was when they first met -- and that if it is wasn't for Billy Graham -- GW would have wound up as a goofy drunkard instead of the worst President in American history,.
"She said; "Laura told Jenna to forget about all those silly notions about passion and spontaneity and exciting love and find a good Christian Republican Conservative from a fine family -- and no Kikes or dark skinned types."
Well, unless Henry turns out to be one fine hunka munka dive bomber -- he ain't gonna last long -- i'm betting on Jenna to find a real man!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Fox Announces "Extreme Buffet" - Obese Eating Contest --with Granada TV
Well it sure looks like another winner coming on board to Fox TVs summer reality show line-up!
"Extreme Buffet" will showcase ten obese men and women (nobody under four hundred pounds can join this group of extreme gluttons) - eating as much food as they can in twenty four hours.
The auditions and back-stories will be inter cut with the pigging out over the course of three half hour programs .
All the human hogs will be weighed in at the beginning - and those who finish will be reweighed - and the one who gained the most weight will win one million dollars.
"The buffet is truly amazing!" -said Granada TV show runner (Granada also produces the huge hit Hell's Kitchen for Fox) Miles (Monty) Python.
He went on: 'Every conceivable type of scrumptious cuisine is available - gigantic piles of ribs and lobsters - caviar by the bucketful - a three foot vat of mashed potatoes -every conceivable type of dessert - mounds and mounds of cheese -- it's the "Willy Wonka" factory of food - a fantastic fattening fiesta and:
" When our human eating machines charged in to attack the Buffet -to the sound of a trumpeting bull elephant - and hit that 'Extreme Buffet" - and started to consume it - it sounded like a flock of four hundred pound locusts hitting a corn field "
"It was so scary that my support crew panicked and bolted out of the studio! - We all felt a rush of panic - it was primordial - we actually felt like we could be devoured in the gluttonous orgy "
"It was like watching a feeding frenzy of giant flesh eating hogs! - I mean this is GREAT reality television!" said Curt Throwrup exec producer for Granada Television .
Curt expanded; "The savage eating sounds(and the gas pyrotechnics) -cut with compelling music production and comedic commentary and animal sound effects -will make this the water cooler show of the summer."
"I still think we should have called it "Hell's Buffet."
"Extreme Buffet" will showcase ten obese men and women (nobody under four hundred pounds can join this group of extreme gluttons) - eating as much food as they can in twenty four hours.
The auditions and back-stories will be inter cut with the pigging out over the course of three half hour programs .
All the human hogs will be weighed in at the beginning - and those who finish will be reweighed - and the one who gained the most weight will win one million dollars.
"The buffet is truly amazing!" -said Granada TV show runner (Granada also produces the huge hit Hell's Kitchen for Fox) Miles (Monty) Python.
He went on: 'Every conceivable type of scrumptious cuisine is available - gigantic piles of ribs and lobsters - caviar by the bucketful - a three foot vat of mashed potatoes -every conceivable type of dessert - mounds and mounds of cheese -- it's the "Willy Wonka" factory of food - a fantastic fattening fiesta and:
" When our human eating machines charged in to attack the Buffet -to the sound of a trumpeting bull elephant - and hit that 'Extreme Buffet" - and started to consume it - it sounded like a flock of four hundred pound locusts hitting a corn field "
"It was so scary that my support crew panicked and bolted out of the studio! - We all felt a rush of panic - it was primordial - we actually felt like we could be devoured in the gluttonous orgy "
"It was like watching a feeding frenzy of giant flesh eating hogs! - I mean this is GREAT reality television!" said Curt Throwrup exec producer for Granada Television .
Curt expanded; "The savage eating sounds(and the gas pyrotechnics) -cut with compelling music production and comedic commentary and animal sound effects -will make this the water cooler show of the summer."
"I still think we should have called it "Hell's Buffet."
Friday, May 09, 2008
Natalie Portman Has Never Sucked A Cock Say's COLA Report
In an astonishing revelation -- Dr. Libowitz announced today:
"We scanned a photo of Natalie from her latest file and lo and behold -she has NEVER had a cock pass between her lips: according to the Cock Over Lips Analyzer (COLA) system."
"We contacted Natalie by phone in Africa and she told us the following:"
"First of all i think the COLA system is definitely going to upen up a new sense of spirituality in human relationships - and i am very proud to have it scientifically confirmed -- that i have never sucked a cock"
She continued; "First of all i am so tired of my dates begging me to go down on them == and crying that they think i must have sucked off a million guys - so why not them?"
"Secondly -- i think that oral sex is the ultimate display and commitment of intimacy, and i am saving it for a very special guy -and then -believe you me - he will be one happy dude."
She concluded -- "However -- I sure am happy that there is no such thing as a CIA (Cock In Ass) scanner system -- heh heh."
Dr. Libowitz was later asked about developing a modified COLA system to scan assholes and measure how many times a person has been cornholed?
He responded; "Yep -natalie is right on the money and we are in development on it, Say -Natalie had a great name suggestion -CIA system - i like that CIA acronym! -(It's kinda like the real CIA assholes- heh heh)."
"Well thanks Natalie - the only problem with the CIA (Cocks In Ass) System is - that it will be much harder to get the photographs"
Send us a photo of your asshole and we will test scan it.
"But it's definitely coming!"
"We scanned a photo of Natalie from her latest file and lo and behold -she has NEVER had a cock pass between her lips: according to the Cock Over Lips Analyzer (COLA) system."
"We contacted Natalie by phone in Africa and she told us the following:"
"First of all i think the COLA system is definitely going to upen up a new sense of spirituality in human relationships - and i am very proud to have it scientifically confirmed -- that i have never sucked a cock"
She continued; "First of all i am so tired of my dates begging me to go down on them == and crying that they think i must have sucked off a million guys - so why not them?"
"Secondly -- i think that oral sex is the ultimate display and commitment of intimacy, and i am saving it for a very special guy -and then -believe you me - he will be one happy dude."
She concluded -- "However -- I sure am happy that there is no such thing as a CIA (Cock In Ass) scanner system -- heh heh."
Dr. Libowitz was later asked about developing a modified COLA system to scan assholes and measure how many times a person has been cornholed?
He responded; "Yep -natalie is right on the money and we are in development on it, Say -Natalie had a great name suggestion -CIA system - i like that CIA acronym! -(It's kinda like the real CIA assholes- heh heh)."
"Well thanks Natalie - the only problem with the CIA (Cocks In Ass) System is - that it will be much harder to get the photographs"
Send us a photo of your asshole and we will test scan it.
"But it's definitely coming!"
Thursday, May 08, 2008
First Male Results Are Finally In ---- - The Pope has Sucked over Six-Hundred Cocks
Dr. Sergio Libowitz made the long awaited announcement today -- "My Revolutionary COLA (Cocks Over Lips Analyzer) System - can now read Male Lips."
For our inaugural male analysis -- We scanned the Popes lips from a photograph of him in America last week and the results are conclusive:
"That Pope Benedick is a major cocksucker!"
The Dr. said in a press conference at his mountaintop laboratory in Switzerland today; "We hope the spiritual leader of all Catholics will not suffer any loss of spiritual credibility -from the scientific "Revelation" -- that he is a major cocksucker!"
Six -hundred cocks sucked is twice the number revealed for Hannah Montana in a previous report. (blog)
Furthermore - he stated; "We hope that as the COLA system gets into full swing - humanity will utilize this new scientific tool to pierce the veil of hypocrisy which deludes our perceptions of our leaders and cultural icons (and our friends and families and loved ones) -- and that we will :"
"Move forward into a world where everyone knows exactly how many cocks you have sucked - a world gentled and uplifted and purified with "behavioral clarity"
Let our new anthem be; "You Can suck - But You Can't Hide"
For our inaugural male analysis -- We scanned the Popes lips from a photograph of him in America last week and the results are conclusive:
"That Pope Benedick is a major cocksucker!"
The Dr. said in a press conference at his mountaintop laboratory in Switzerland today; "We hope the spiritual leader of all Catholics will not suffer any loss of spiritual credibility -from the scientific "Revelation" -- that he is a major cocksucker!"
Six -hundred cocks sucked is twice the number revealed for Hannah Montana in a previous report. (blog)
Furthermore - he stated; "We hope that as the COLA system gets into full swing - humanity will utilize this new scientific tool to pierce the veil of hypocrisy which deludes our perceptions of our leaders and cultural icons (and our friends and families and loved ones) -- and that we will :"
"Move forward into a world where everyone knows exactly how many cocks you have sucked - a world gentled and uplifted and purified with "behavioral clarity"
Let our new anthem be; "You Can suck - But You Can't Hide"
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Paris Hilton Has Sucked Over Three Thousand Cocks -- Reports Expert Lip Analyzer
As previously reported:
Dr, Sergio Libowitz - a Swedish neurologist - has developed a way to estimate how many times a woman has had a penis pass between her lips, by analyzing a photograph of her face. ----- Speaking from his mountaintop laboratory in Zermatt today , during a world conference meeting of lip surgeons - he stated: "Using a combination of electron laser spectography and bio-molecular resonance screenings of a digital facial picture- i can detect -within a five percent margin of error how many times a cock has passed between the lips of a woman ----- and soon i will be able to extend my findings to men."
His first disclosure indicated that Hannah Montana had sucked over three hundred cocks - but todays test results show that when it comes to cock sucking "Wow -Paris Hilton makes Hannah look like a rookie!" -said Dr. Libowitz .
"At first we thought we had misinterpreted the data - but after recalibrating our laboratory hardware and software - our results where proven accurate."
He stated; "This woman just may wind up in the cocksucking hall of fame - but then again we are just getting started - and we are eagerly awaiting the analysis of Pope Benedick and Rush Limbaugh."
"We are also beginning to see a relationship between heavy cocksucking and a reduction in cholesterol levels - which means sucking a cock a day may replace the apple"
"A cock a day keeps the cardiologist away"
Lot's more coming on this medical breakthrough!
Dr, Sergio Libowitz - a Swedish neurologist - has developed a way to estimate how many times a woman has had a penis pass between her lips, by analyzing a photograph of her face. ----- Speaking from his mountaintop laboratory in Zermatt today , during a world conference meeting of lip surgeons - he stated: "Using a combination of electron laser spectography and bio-molecular resonance screenings of a digital facial picture- i can detect -within a five percent margin of error how many times a cock has passed between the lips of a woman ----- and soon i will be able to extend my findings to men."
His first disclosure indicated that Hannah Montana had sucked over three hundred cocks - but todays test results show that when it comes to cock sucking "Wow -Paris Hilton makes Hannah look like a rookie!" -said Dr. Libowitz .
"At first we thought we had misinterpreted the data - but after recalibrating our laboratory hardware and software - our results where proven accurate."
He stated; "This woman just may wind up in the cocksucking hall of fame - but then again we are just getting started - and we are eagerly awaiting the analysis of Pope Benedick and Rush Limbaugh."
"We are also beginning to see a relationship between heavy cocksucking and a reduction in cholesterol levels - which means sucking a cock a day may replace the apple"
"A cock a day keeps the cardiologist away"
Lot's more coming on this medical breakthrough!
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