xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Serena Williams Scared The Shit Out OF Russians At Wimbledon

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Serena Williams Scared The Shit Out OF Russians At Wimbledon

Those tall leggy Russian tennis players who Serena Williams defeated at Wimbledon complained to the British Tennis Society today; "I was constantly afraid that she would rip through the net and trample me like a giant black Rhinocerous" said Elenya Smyrynosposkayovich after losing to Williams ,whose nickname is Gevaltnegtuckismaya --which means "A giant black ass rolling down a hill" in Russian.

The head of the British safety committee said they were going to install special tennis nets with safety features to prevent Serena from ploughing right on through when she thunders up to the net; "Our tests have shown, said Sir Arthur Cornwitz, that a woman of her size -- with those enormous buttocks and ham hocks and traveling at high speed with those huge black breasts thrusting out like twin battering rams -- could plow through the standard net and take out not only her opponent, but the line referee -- two or three ball retrievers and approximately seven spectators in the first row of the center court."

He continued; "We approached the head of engineering for the Royal Navy and they have devised a protective system similar to the ones used on British aircraft carriers to stop our planes from crashing through and into the ocean -- but Admiral Sir Meyer Pinsky Captain of the battle carrier HMS Horatio Nelson expressed his concern; "Having seen the thrusting power of this amazing amazon on the courts -- I'm not sure if the jet nets will hold her."

When confronted with the dilemma Serena said; "Yep --the only thing that might hold me back is those big fine loin chops of maybe Shaq O'Neal? -- and i wouldn't bet on it if i was you --butt (heh heh) i sure would like to test his burly black ass!"