xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Jan 16, 2007

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hillary Responds To Cheney

"The last time the Vice President used a gun he almost killed his best friend -- we have enough troubles in Iraq without another yahoo on the front lines -- and when it comes to butchiness,why don't you send Lyn Cheney over to the battle -- she wouldn't need a weapon to scare the terrorists -- her face would do the trick".

Cheney Wants To Join Bush In Combat Role

Vice President Dick Cheney said "if it wasn't for my bad ticker i'd go insurgent huntin with the President."He further stated "it's just too damn bad that Obama Bomama (or whatever his name is) and some of those other cut and running Democrats don't grab a rifle and get to the front lines alongside our brave boys -- and how about Hillary? -- hell, she's butch enough to throw a few hand grenades at the insurgents."

Just in --Pelosi denies Bush combat leak

"It is insane for anyone to suggest that the democratic leader of the House of Representatives would leak the location of the combat unit that the President is patrolling with", said Nancy Pelosi. "I don't have that information -- Carl Levin on the other hand?"

Huge Breaking News -- Bush to join combat unit

President Bush announced this morning that he will begin to serve active front-line military duty in Iraq.

He will be posted,immediately, to a front line combat unit as an infantry pvc in a rifle squad under an undisclosed Sergeant.

He has been taking private basic training , the standard 8 week course,in the White House basement with a Marine drill instructor and has qualified as a marksman with an M15 rifle.

This was kept top secret until he announced his new "Surge" strategy
and he now stated "i knew i had to put my balls on the line to sell this critical new war plan to the American People."

VP Cheney will be given the "black box" and is standing by in a secret location for immediate notification if i am killed or disabled.

"I know the Lord is with me and i am prepared to enter heaven and wait there for Laura and the kids if i have to pay the ultimate sacrifice for my country"
"oh -- and bring em on -- cause those killers ain't seen nothing more dangerous than a President from Texas with a liscence to kill"

Tony Snow -- White House press secretary in a surprise off camera reaction said "holy shit - he's fucking crazy"

Stay tuned for more on this extraodinary exclusive from the Digibandit.