Chinese Geneticists Discover Final Missing Link with Chimpanzees - HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTE “

  Chinese Geneticists Discover Final Missing Link with Chimpanzees - HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTE “

Using a secretely acquired DNA sample from a Herschel Walker campaign appearance -Chinese geneticists are now certain that Walker’s DNA provides the holy grail of genetic discoveries -The long search for the link between Chimpanzees (Hominids) and Homo Sapiens.

Prior to this latest discovery biologists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit, Michigan, provided new genetic evidence that lineages of chimps (currently Pan troglodytes) and humans (Homo sapiens) diverged so recently that chimps should be reclassed as Homo troglodytes..

 Fung Yung Chum, Head of The National Chinese Genetic Laboratory announced “AND NOW -We have  absolute proof of the direct (now updated) link between THAT Homo troglodyte and Homo Sapiens  - Discovered on the Y Sex Chromosome of a living species  which we have named  - HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTE “

He continued -” Chinese Political  Scientists who routinely observe and study political behavior of foreign political candidates whose behavior is aberrant enough to pose a threat should they acquire political power; were horrified by observing Herschel Walker and passed their data over to us for evaluation as to possible genetic mutations that were also being observed across a large swath of politicians that had evolved in the wake of the rise of Donal Trump.”

Doctor Cum continued -”It quickly became apparent that most of these individuals ,like trump, were just your garden variety sociopaths riddled with multiple personality disorders  -BUT some  -Most evidently like Walker - Looked like clear candidates for DNA analysis that  could potentially lead to a discovery of actual speciation mutation and a subsequent link to Homo troglodytes.”

He went on - ”As a matter of fact we are all amazed that Walker still (reportedly) has enough Homo Sapiens reproduction chromosomes to successfully mate with a normal Homo Sapiens?”

“AND - It appears to be the case it -In all our DNA GENETIC  prognostications -  THAT in- between two and four generations: these   “HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTES “ will no longer be able to breed with Homo sapiens!

Doctor Cum stated -  “This has enormous ramifications for societal and cultural upheavals   as societies will be divided basically into Humans and advanced Chimpanzees ”

He concluded - “We are almost certain  - That the recently re-elected representative Marjorie Taylor Green is also of the species “HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTES“ 

AND  - That our ongoing genetic studies will show that the TOTAL population of trump supporters- Have a significant percentage of this earliest -ALMOST HUMAN SPECIES!

Donald Trump Killed and Eaten by Alligator while playing golf at Mar a Largo

 

Trump’s caddy at his Mar a Largo Golf Course detailed how while trump was hiding in the marshy rough where he hit his tee drive shot and was just prowling around waiting to make believe he actually then found his ball and then  place another one on the edge of the fairway,“ He always cheated like that” said Merle Crumpit trump’s regular caddy at The Mar a Lago Course.

He reported  “Suddenly! - I saw like this 20 foot Gator rush out of a nearby water hole -Grab trump and  drag him screaming back under the water -AND then there was a lot of thrashing AND then NOTHING  -Gone!” 

Florida State Police have cordoned off all entry ways to The Golf Course where thousands of people have already showed up bearing signs expressing outrage that Donald Trump Killed and Eaten by Alligatorlibtards from out of state planted the “Killer Gator” to attack trump.

Florida Governor De Santis stated “Comments from conspiracists like Marjorie Taylor Green that “Jews used a remote controlled “Gater Bot” to get our “Real” President”  OR from Herschel Walker that - “ trump’s caddy must be in on this and we need a vestigation!”   -Are not helpful at this time of great public mourning.”

Trump’s fellow foursome players were not shocked to find trump was grabbed while cheating and replacing his bad shot into the rough back on the fairway.  -  “It’s ironic” -Said Myron Goldblatt a Florida real estate tycoon who frequently played and gambled with trump on the course    “ I mean -let’s get real here - Cheating and Lying was in this guys DNA!  - We all knew he was cheating us everytime we played!  -He would cheat anyone out of anything   if no one was watching  -heh heh -EVEN if someone WAS watching -He would just lie!  -That’s just the kind of sociopathic schmuck he was!- The cheating and lying finally caught up with him by another BUT more dangerous Reptile! - Karma is a bitch!”

Latest news reports following the state diving Search and Rescue Team’s operation is that they found trump’s golf club and one of his golf shoes and his orange wig in the pond where he was dragged BUT no sign of the huge Gator.

Large scale riots have broken out across America with conspiracy fueled theories driving a new right wing fury prior to the mid-term elections under the banner of “Gator Death Deniers”.

Meanwhile Democrats and Environmental and Animal Rights organizations across the country are united in pushing Florida Animal Rescue to find and protect the Gator.

President Biden and his wife Jill and Speaker Pelosi joined together at a prayer offering in The Washington Cathedral thanking God for his divine intervention -And prayers for Paul Pelosi’s swift recovery.

 

exas Town Breaks World Record For TV watching

 

Texas Town  Breaks World Record For TV watching

           (Suckler Texas Does It Again!)

Sackler's finest

 

 The small community of Suckler ,Texas -  – Has done it again!

 

Just last year they broke a one hundred year old record for the most alcohol consumed per capita of any village in the world. (previously held by the people of Gavalt – in northern Siberia !)

 

And now – they have shattered the record for the most number of hours spent watching television - formerly held since 1952 by the Eskimo village of Shitumaoutsky (which means “It’s to shitty to go out”) -where the average temperature is 48 below zero. (and where Sarah Palin was born - to a mentally deranged Inuit Eskimo)

 

Moishe Pipick – President of The World Television Association – told us – when we caught up with him filling up at the  Suckler Gas Station:

 

“This is really an achievement for the folks of Suckler and Texas culture writ large - The weather here is georgous, and you would think folks would be outside enjoying it in this beautiful environment? “

 

“I mean – the average adult  in this community watched ninety 76 hours (in an average week) of TV last year – AND you gotta figure that the kids had to be way up over that:”

 

“I mean – these folks ain’t doin much except maybe workin a little and watchin TV and Boozing– And judging by the size of them and the kids iv’e seen around here so far --  They may want to challenge the town of Corputsky in Poland for the Fattest Place on Earth award next year.

 

“I just filled up here at six bucks a gallon at ‘Melvin’s Gas and Gun’

SO maybe they can’t afford to go out anywhere - but jeez –I wonder if the kids even go to school?”“I mean – five of them just came out of the video store –and they musta weighed over half a ton all together - They looked like a small herd of Bison!”

 

I notice they have an expansive recreation area with a ball field and basketball courts – but there ain’t a kid in sight?”

 

He went on; “Come to think of it –maybe with their record breaking alcohol consumption up here - The adults are too stewed to motivate the kids to do anything?”

 

“I saw a bunch of bikers coming out of the local bar and two of them were puking on their boots – Maybe the locals are too terrified to leave their mobile homes?”

 

“ President Pipick concluded; “Well – anyway – I’m goin over to the Award Ceremony at the Suckler Moose Clubhouse – to present the award .”

 

“I wonder if anyone will show Up?”

 

“It’s kinda scary around here!”

 

Biden Calls trump “a lying cocksucker” Biden’s approval ratings SOAR!

 Biden Calls trump “a lying cocksucker” Biden’s approval ratings SOAR!

“I have to give complete credit to my new Director of Communications - Dr. Moishe Pipick!” for this amazing turn around - NOW we can start to get things accomplished for all American’s -Even the conservative assholes!”

This esteemed former professor of sociology at Harvard and renowned researcher and author - explained things to me this way.”

“Mr President  -  trump and all those schmuck morons who support him?

What THEY want is someone as vulgar and ignorant as he is AND everywhere in the Government AND on the news!

“Trying your best to explain issues and solutions to idiots who cannot determine truth from fictions and conspiracies; fed to them daily by the equally shit for brained conservatives in congress and on fox news and social media conspiracists AND those  Evangelican religious absurdists -WELL - Face it Mr President -They eat it up like shit candy!”

“YOU have to get down in the gutter where those deplorable trogs wallow  in the mud like Moron Hogs!””

President Biden -”Well anyway -I get it now AND l graciously with all my heart and soul - THANK all you fucking low life white supremacists who are now supporting me! - AND alert all those viscious ignorant trumpanzees like Herschel Walker and Josh Hawley ( etc) and  their cunt counterparts out there in their white trash GOP districts like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert (et. al.)”

Your day are numbered!

Disney Announces first Trans Female Hero Film - "The QUEEN of The Jungle"

 Following the huge positive worldwide recognition and financial success of Dreamworks breakthrough release - Studsy The Queer Bull',  about ‘Studsy’ -- a prize Angus Bull who prefers young bull’s and steers over cows.

 http://digibandit.blogspot.com/2012/12/dreamworks-announces-studsythe-queer.htmle 

The Walt Disney Company has announced it's release of  "The Queen of The Jungle" about a Male Lion  who through an amazing act of nature - Transitions into a female Lion at puberty AND with the aid of all the other latently queer jungle creatures  - Becomes :

"The Queen of The Jungle"

(worldwide premiere fall 2023)

Miriam Pipick - VP Worldwide Theatrical Production for Disney  -At a press conference in Hollywood said today:

We are   proud to follow in the daring footsteps of Dreamworks and echo the sentiments of Steven Spielberg when  he announced "Studsy" back then -as follows:

“We are so thrilled and satisfied that in today’s exploitive creative environment --especially as far as our children are concerned -- that we at Dream Works are able to produce positive and socially redemptive quality programming that will constructively help our  children -- our most precious resource -- to shape and sructure their lives; as we walk hand in hand with America’s parents to achieve that goal through creative art. And - so, coming soon to a theatre near you, ‘Studsy The Queer Bull’. 

And Bring your tiny future fags to see America’s first Queer Superhero"

Miriam continued -"“Our research shows that twenty to thirty percent of Americans under the age of seven years old have strong homosexual tendencies,and child psychologists are certain that they are torn apart emotionally between openly adopting a gay lifestyle or “closeting” their emotions in an oppressive hetro dominated environment. – "The Queen of The Jungle" will instill pride and  identity in trans females (and all LGBT) -Just as "Studsy the Queer Bull" did for queer children everywhere!

Don't Ask! - Don't Tell! - BUT WTF!

1. 

   

   
   
   
                                               Don't Ask! - Don't Tell! - BUT WTF!

The marvelously complex MixMaster that is the human genome can sure turn out some amazingly diverse blends of Homo sapiens sapiens!

Johnny from Brooklyn, NY is a strapping young fellow who by the age of ten knew he was really a woman.

Mary realized, shortly after becoming the Prom Queen at Little Falls High School in Idaho; that what she now knew to be her true “being” was as the captain of  the all male football team.

Professor Ernest Klein with a post doctorate in astro chemistry couldn’t wait till his lectures were ended at Dartmouth so he could put on a gown and high heels and dance the night away at a club downtown dedicated to all things “Prince” and Drag Queens!

Then there are even more complex flavors produced by the “ Magic Genetic Mixmaster”

Take Mark and Connie Anderson from Gooberdale Texas who were swept away with lust and devotion shortly after meeting at The Evangelican Ministry in nearby Putzville - BUT within a year knew something was radically amiss in their sexual lives!  

Turns out both of them were just plain repressed gays from the get go!

In hopes of reviving their early passions they both reversed their genders and went transexual feeling that the reversal of  genders (making Connie more malelike and Mark more feminine; would be the perfect gendering mix to rekindle their passions? 

Didn’t happen! - Post transforming Connie (now Carl) went full blown male homo  gay and Mark (now Candy) went the opposite as a lesbian  -ALTHOUGH he/she also had a strong proclivity for scoliosexuality which created a virtual smorgasborg of desire and satisfaction for his sexual appetites (leaving poor Connie in her now frustrating narrow role as the male in a gay female (lesbian)

"20,00 Death Dive" Coming to Shanghai Disney World - Flight 5735 thrilling simulation

 

•  "20,00 Death Dive" Coming to  Shanghai Disney World

•  

• Disney World Shanghai announces new ride based on plane disaster:

• " Twenty Thousand feet Death Dive" (Fifty Nine Seconds of Hell!

•  

•  The Airlines Flight 5735. Last month, the plane fell more than 20,000 feet in less than a minute before a final plunge (approaching the speed of sound.)

• 

Yun Hung Lo - China’s Minister of Mass Entertainment for The People announced today from Shanghai’s Disney World -Where construction crews were massed at the new ride site:

“We are honoring the deaths of 136 of our brothers and sisters by creating the world’s most exciting amusement park ride!

Rider’s will be able to experience the thrilling last minutes of these heroic party members’  lives - As they plunged past the speed of sound for almost a minute - Straight Down 20,000 feet into the dear earth!”

Ying Chow Mein - Reporter for  China’s  Xinhua News Agency asked The Minister:

 “Dearest Minister -Many are complaining it is wrong to exploit this horrible disaster!”

Minister Ho replied - “That is a very typical western imperialist - AND reactionary attitude and will not be tolerated!”

The reporter was quickly spirited away by security!

Meanwhile in The USA - Gordon Silverspoon, Director of World Wide Disney Distribution was assailed by reporters who were apoplectic at China’s announcement!

Gayle Simpkins from CNN asked “How can you tolerate the Shanghai Chinese Disneyworld to exploit a horrible disaster like this -Think of the trauma for the families of those victims?”

Silverspoon - “Well we have a commitment to our shareholders to maximize profits and China is our biggest market AND look - Think of the thrills and joy this amusement event will bring to hundred’s of thousands of Chinese who work 18 hours a day 7 days a week on their 3 days off every month (along with their children) - AND who provide Americans’ with cheap products they love”

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

Chinese Proverb

(Capitalism’s Song)  lol

Altar Boy Slashes Priest 's Scrotum With Razor -Nuns Arm Altar Boys

  Altar Boy Slashes Priest 's Scrotum With Razor 

Seven year old Enzo Frattazinni  gave testimony about the events leading up to his slashing the scrotum of Monsignor Carlos Putzazinni today in the Vatican -With a double edged razor!

Enzo -”The Monsignor is a well known abuser of children! -Several of my very own friends have been coerced into giving him blow jobs and forced anal sex  “For The pleasure of Christ” - As he put it.”

Attorney - “Did you or your friends report his menacing and perverse actions.”

Enzo -”Your kidding right?  -Of course! As have the tens of thousands of other helpless victims who have been ignored and treated as traitors to The Church by the Vatican - Right up to the Pope! -You think i’m a stupido?  -My father was going to kill the Monsignor -He was a sniper in the Italian Special Forces  -And i did not want him to go to jail.

Enzo continues - AND finally we victims of forced anal sex and blow job aggression have a weapon!  -A Secret Society of Nuns who are training young boys    -Mostly Altar Boys - In how to slash the scrotums - The nuts and Balls of their attackers!” and supplying them with the razors we can hide in our clothing or hair”

Attorney -What ‘Secret Society of Nuns’?

Enzo - Your kidding right?  LMFAO  -Next question?  OH -And whya do these sick so called messengers from Goda who give an oath of  celibacy need their balls for anyway -  Maybe they will geta their balls back in Hell?

Attorney -”Well so far you are the first attacker and only Attacker?  -Maybe you are making this all up?

Enzo -Stay tuned Mr. Attorney

Casting Call for New Fox Reality Show - Become a Star -(Anal Sex Required)

                        Casting Call for New Fox Reality Show - Become a Star 

 ITZ Media Group is now casting for two reality shows on behalf of two major cable networks: the first show is seeking Spanish "Kardashian" type families featuring three or more sisters who are fun, confident and sexy and love to give blow jobs! 

And it would be great if your parents or step parents live near you to participate. Florida is the ideal location but not necessary.  Please send photos, bios and brief descriptions of your lives with your sisters, your occupations and if you own a porno company or are starting a porno  business and how many men you are willing to have anal sex with in two hours..  

Similar to Mob Wives, the second show is seeking women who are in some way related to Cartels  - This could be wives, girlfriends, mistress', daughters, moms, cousins, etc. The show is seeking strong and opinionated women who have been convicted of assault and battery and charged with murder. 

Please send nude photos and a bio including how you are related to or are friends with members of a cartel.  Applicants for both shows can send emails to: digibandit@foxtv.com

California approves Uteroil Made from Aborted Fetus'

                           California approves Uteroil Made from Aborted Fetus'

 

The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.

"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."

He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."

"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.

He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

 

When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."

Post Francis Announces Castration for ALL Priests

                              Post Francis Announces Castration for ALL Priests 

“You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Selena Gomez walks into his bedroom naked.”

“They won't need their nuts anymore anyway - and a lot of children will be saved from getting ravaged by the hordes of queer priests at our "Club Vatican"

 Pope continues  “And since the Church refuses to ordain women or let men have normal sex lives - the Church is a haven for sexual deviants  who have a "religious watering hole" to stalk their prey.”

“And -as we have found out - Your local Church has provided a fertile hunting ground with tens of thousands of victims- lots of kids who will never get over the trauma of being sexually assaulted (and by a trusted emissarry of the Lord no less)”.

“And if you think it's not business as usual in the " Now Johnny -God want's me to put my staff in your mouth and then in your bung hole -so be a good little Altar Boy" business - Then you must be delusional!”

“You think these sick fucking priests suddenly stopped getting hard ons when they see a handsome young alter boy? - That's like asking your normal sixteen year old son not to get a hard on if Selena Gomez walks into his bedroom naked.”

So - i say - "Off with their nuts" - that ought to put a crimp (oops) in the recruitment of queer sickos  into "Club Vatican."

OH -And i will lead by example!

Oh -and not to worry --God will keep our nuts safe until we get to Heaven.

Breaking news     In a shocking revelation the Pope has announced that he will allow himself to be sodomized by a Priest to protest what he called:

"A catholic clergy that is overrun with priests who enjoy fucking children!"

He went on; "and any priest at whatever level of authority that is implicit in this crime of all crimes will be sodomized and castrated -henceforth"

epistocracy -How to Stop the moron trumpers from voting and turning America -into a total schmuckland

                                                      Epistocracy

Consider an alternative political system called epistocracy. Epistocracies retain the same institutions as representative democracies, including imposing liberal constitutional limits on power, bills of rights, checks and balances, elected representatives and judicial review. But while democracies give every citizen an equal right to vote, epistocracies apportion political power, by law, according to knowledge or competence.

The idea here is not that knowledgeable people deserve to rule – of course they don’t – but that the rest of us deserve not to be subjected to incompetently made political decisions. Political decisions are high stakes, and democracies entrust some of these high-stakes decisions to the ignorant and incompetent. Democracies tend to pass laws and policies that appeal to the median voter, yet the median voter would fail Econ, History, Sociology, and Poli Sci 101. Empirical work generally shows that voters would support different policies if they were better informed.

Voters tend to mean well, but voting well takes more than a kind heart. It requires tremendous social scientific knowledge: knowledge that most citizens lack. Most voters know nothing, but some know a great deal, and some know less than nothing. The goal of liberal republican epistocracy is to protect against democracy’s downsides, by reducing the power of the least-informed voters, or increasing the power of better-informed ones.

https://aeon.co/ideas/the-right-to-vote-should-be-restricted-to-those-with-knowledge

                                                                      read on

Merwin Crudeley Sr. entered his personal information at the voting station in  Crumwell, Minnesota and was told he needed to answer some questions before he could vote!

He replied - “I’m registered - Iv’e lived here for forty eight years and voted Republican every year since i was eighteen cept when i switched over to vote for George Wallace when them negroes done acted up down south.”

Poll Booth guard - “That’s fine Sir but under the new American Voter Act passed by congress last year there are certain qualifications required now to make sure we all get the best government we all need -You probably heard about it?”

Crudely - “ I’m a Fox News watcher - Don’t believe nothin on any Jew Commie networks! -I do remember sompthin Carlson said about some new law gonna try and steal away the votes from loyal white Americans.”

Guard -”Well Mr. Crudely we assure you that’s not the case so if you’ll just come with me over to the screening room and answer some simple questions -It won’t take but a short time out of your busy day and responsibilities over at the poultry slaughter house “

Crudely - “ Howd you know that? - You damn dot heads been spyin on me?  - Are you some kinda immygrant spy?”

As Crudely headed forcefully t0 to try and enter the voting booth he was restrained.

Crudely “Allright -What damn questions you want me to answer -  Trump saysThe Publicans need my vote so i cain’t let y’all steal it away!”

Election Official  -  “So - Mr Crudely, can you tell me what constitutional article means the most to you and why?

Crudely - “Don’t take no shit from libtards” cause they hate real Americans!”

Election Official - “I see - And what are the three branches of the government”

Crudely - “ You tryin to trick me and steal my vote so that spic bitch communist AOC can get into the White House .”

EO -  “ Hmmm? -Well how about this - What is your feeling about the government helping needy folks and lifting them up?”

Crudely - “ Fuck em all -Let em get jobs and pay their dues like white people”

EO - But i see here where you receive food stamps - An earned income and child credits AND Medicaid, plus several other state and federal assistance programs to help those in need?”

Crudely - “ I got that comin! -My ancestors built this Country and we white folks ain’t turnin it over to you immygrants and faggy colored communists! -AND i’m gonna go right vote for Marjorie Taylor Greene and make sure y’all don’t get to ruin this blessed land!  -There’s a shitload more of us than you libtards!”

EO - “You are 100% right about that AND that is why - We are sorry -But - You won’t get get to vote!”

Crudely - “Im callin Trump and Greene and The local Oathkeepers and Neo’s and y’all gonna be sorry bout this!”

“ Fortunately for the sake of America -They won’t get to vote either  -G’day Mr. Crudely and thanks for  taking time out of your busy day from the poultry plant.”

Crudely - “We’ll be back and armed!”

EO -”Well sadly Mr. Crudely -You are now under arrest!”

dave.nels@yahoo.com

3106131657

2-15-22