xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 02/01/2011 - 03/01/2011

Friday, February 25, 2011

United States Should Sell It's Prison Population

The United States has 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.

Moishe Pipick - head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- well - why not our huge and growing prison population?"

He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"

He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."

"Wer'e talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer" said House Speaker John Boener - "AND i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably." said Sarah Palin.

Dr. Pipick concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

"Outsourcing can be a beautiful thing!"

Monday, February 21, 2011

Eliminate Half The Congress and Save 60 nBillion

Have you ever met your Congressional representative? - Maybe when he was begging to get reelected but other than that?

We could easily double each District they represent -which is just numbers on a map to them (you and me) -They spend all their working hours in Washington being moved around like pawns in some dysfunctional Chess Match by their Party leaders - and when they come home who the fuck ever sees them or wants to -- SO:

Eliminate about three hundred of them - and at 200k a pop (with benefits and their perks and expenses added to their base salary) we save a bundle -AND:

Maybe get higher quality representation and a lot less squabbling and vying for media attention and begging for money from special interest. lobbyists.

The new Tea Party members will fight this idea because they won't want to give up their first job with enough power for them to fuck good looking women - BUT that's too bad.

Hey -Let them fight to see who gets eliminated - It will make one hell of a Reality Show "Tea Party Smackdown" -On Fox of course!

Friday, February 18, 2011

America Is One Spark Away From Revolution

Bob Herbert's op ed piece in the NY Times today stated:

Mr. Mishel has been trying to call attention to the human toll caused by job losses on this vast scale. The institute estimates that the poverty rate for children is in danger of increasing from 18 percent, which is where it was in 2007, the last year for which complete statistics are available, to a scary 27.3 percent in 2010.
For black children, you don’t want to know. But I’ll tell you anyway. The poverty rate for black kids was 34.5 percent in 2007. If the national unemployment rate rises, as expected, to the vicinity of 10 percent next year, the poverty rate for black children would rise to 50 percent or higher, analysts at the institute believe.

That would be a profound tragedy.

We already know that children are being harmed in families hammered by job losses, home foreclosures and the myriad stresses that grip families trying to cope with economic reversals. Dr. Irwin Redlener, president of the Children’s Health Fund and a professor at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, has referred to these youngsters as the “recession generation,” and has described what is happening to them as “a quiet disaster.”



This is a prescription for massive social disruption - and it can take off as fast as those wildfires in California.



All it will take is someone who can galvanize that cauldron of misery out there in an America brought to economic ruin by the actions of greedy and rapacious AND non repentent capitalists gone wild.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

How The Church Ruined Valentine's Day

On this upcoming day of amative imaginings i thought you might be interested in the Pagan provenance of Valentine's day --Lupercalia

"The Lupercalia festival was in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Explaining the name of the festival, Lupercalia, which translates out into "Wolf Festival." The festival was celebrated near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine where Rome was founded.
.
.The festival began with the sacrifice by the Luperci (or the flamen dialis) of two male goats and a dog. Next two patrician young Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh.

The smearing of the forehead with blood probably refers to human sacrifice originally practised at the festival.

The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci cut thongs from the skins of the victims, which were called Februa, dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats -- and then everyone ran around fornicating and sucking and drinking and dancing until they dropped!

This looked like too much fun to the Ancient Queer Priests so they turned it into a sappy, lovey dovey religious farce - BUT!

Little did they know that healthy modern folks of all ages would return to their Lupercalic roots - only with different outfits and bling.

This is a sure sign that the rule of the Queer Priests is waning - but we gotta bring back the goats and she wolves!(only no sacrifice BUT maybe sacrifice a queer priest or two?

Happy Lupercalia everyone!

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

No Health Care Contribution -See a Fucking Witch Doctor

While all the morons are rallying agains against requiring folks to at least chip in a little in paying for their freeby health care -which we other folks have to pay for - just remember:


"Justice Department lawyers responded that a choice not to obtain health insurance was itself an active decision that, taken in the aggregate, shifted the cost of caring for the uninsured to hospitals, governments and privately insured individuals." NY Times today

So it's simple! -You break a leg or get the flu?

Go to a fucking witch doctor! -UNLESS -you can prove you have No assets -and that includes Cable TV and any brand of premium toilet paper and oh cigarettes?

Kiss my ass! -Why should we responsible folks ante up when you won't even contribute the token amount essential to support a Health Care system that works for needy kids and poor old folks. - et al.