U.S. officials say. U.S. counterproliferation and intelligence officials have confirmed Japanese news reports of the expected launch between April 4 and 8.
North Korea announced its intention to launch the satellite in February. Regional powers worry the claim is a cover for the launch of a long-range missile capable of reaching Alaska. (to annihilate Sarah Palin)
National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair said earlier this month that all indications suggest North Korea will in fact launch a satellite and that the reason is -- "Sarah Palin and her Alien spore."
Il Jong Cockhead -North Korea's leader has previously gone on record about his concerns regarding Sarah Palin "That woman is not human! - She is an Alien from another world - and she must be destroyed along with her Alien spore. (family)"
He said at the UN yesterday: " When a country as powerful as the United States was considering her for a leadership position we started taking her very seriously, as it was obvious to our Ancient Wise Men that she was a seriously damaged human being .
"He continued; "We are a poor and humble nation but we cannot sit idly by and not be prepared to annihilate her when she leaves her human form and starts to destroy the world - think of the great western movie epic "Aliens" -that creature is Sarah Palin without her costume."
"I know that sounds preposterous - but we have a mystical culture going back ten thousand years - and our wise men are shitting in their robes over that monstor,"
He concluded; " We don't want or need a ballistic missile - but we have to be sure wer'e ready when she breaks out of her pod"
Wow - i think he may have somethin there.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Fox TV Announces -"Spot The Pigs" -Starring Maury Povich
Moishe Pipick - head of program development at Fox television announced an exciting new reality program today - which will star Maury (bang bang) Povich.
"Maury is perfect for this show! - and we are so excited to see him back on prime time tv - and he has promised not to fuck any of the production staff - and - oh - here's theshow's premise;"
"Ten women - covered in those schmata robes that the Arab Muslim men think are so attractive - will be questioned by several couples who will compete - through their questioning and analysis - to figure out which one of the women is a georgeous'Piece of Ass' ( as we say in the trade)."
Pipick continued his show description; - "Nine of the women are "Pigs" - hence the name "Spot the Pigs" - and the couple who picks the one 'Piece of Ass' wins unbelievable prizes and lots of cashola"
"The couples are allowed to look at baby pictures of the women - pictures of their parents - and get to meet and question their boyfriends and/or husbands and past lovers - and they can ask them to move around and dance and - can ask questions about their sex lives - etcetera."
"Point being - as an example - that if you ask a women wether she's ever had anal sex - and her eyes kinda roll around in a weird kinda way under the burka - like it's a horrible thought - well you might deduce that she has an ass like a beer barrel -which no guy would want to stick his pecker in:
'Well you get the point (oops a pun) - and Maury will of course be adding to the fun as only he can do - and boy when those robes come off - it's gonna be a riot! - and very dramatic and exciting."
"Oh - and all the pigs get an extreme makeover as a prize - and the 'Piece of Ass' gets a role in a porno movie."
Pipick concluded; "We wanted to call the show "Pick the Piece of Ass" -but our network censors thought it was anti- feminist."
"Maury is perfect for this show! - and we are so excited to see him back on prime time tv - and he has promised not to fuck any of the production staff - and - oh - here's theshow's premise;"
"Ten women - covered in those schmata robes that the Arab Muslim men think are so attractive - will be questioned by several couples who will compete - through their questioning and analysis - to figure out which one of the women is a georgeous'Piece of Ass' ( as we say in the trade)."
Pipick continued his show description; - "Nine of the women are "Pigs" - hence the name "Spot the Pigs" - and the couple who picks the one 'Piece of Ass' wins unbelievable prizes and lots of cashola"
"The couples are allowed to look at baby pictures of the women - pictures of their parents - and get to meet and question their boyfriends and/or husbands and past lovers - and they can ask them to move around and dance and - can ask questions about their sex lives - etcetera."
"Point being - as an example - that if you ask a women wether she's ever had anal sex - and her eyes kinda roll around in a weird kinda way under the burka - like it's a horrible thought - well you might deduce that she has an ass like a beer barrel -which no guy would want to stick his pecker in:
'Well you get the point (oops a pun) - and Maury will of course be adding to the fun as only he can do - and boy when those robes come off - it's gonna be a riot! - and very dramatic and exciting."
"Oh - and all the pigs get an extreme makeover as a prize - and the 'Piece of Ass' gets a role in a porno movie."
Pipick concluded; "We wanted to call the show "Pick the Piece of Ass" -but our network censors thought it was anti- feminist."
Monday, March 23, 2009
USA Should Issue "Breeding Visas"
By 2030 - the United States (Los Unidos Estatos) will be sixty eight percent (and growing) Hispanic - sooooooooooooo:
Just Remember - as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.
Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!
Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.
I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!
If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.
SO -Let's issue "Breeding Visas!" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say 30 years:Your In! - Welcome To America!
It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - pay the bills!
Just Remember - as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.
Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!
Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.
I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!
If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.
SO -Let's issue "Breeding Visas!" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say 30 years:Your In! - Welcome To America!
It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - pay the bills!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bolsheviks Harass Gentry In Their Homes - Demand Money
Russia 1917? - Nope - April 2009! - America
First some history:
The October Revolution/The Struggle For Power and the Rise of the Bolsheviks -Russia 1917
"On the one hand, “The property owning classes were becoming more conservative and the masses more radical (Reed 1)” Soon after the Provisional Government was in power many of the problems that helped them overthrow the Tsar still existed: Russia was still doing badly in the war, bread was still scarce and the people were calling for more drastic changes. The newly released radical leaders were whipping the common people into a frenzy and the policies of the Provisional Government were not helping them." = Wikipedia
So - cut to Moishe Pipick's wife - looking out her bay window overlooking Long Island Sound in Fairfield, Connecticut - she yells:
"Hey Moishey - There's a bus and some really mad people outside our driveway with sign saying - "Give back the money you greedy AIG Jew - or else!"
"Oye vey - don't worry Sarah - it's just the peasants from over in Bridgeport -who think they can get something for free - so they can go back home and drink themselves to death while watching American Idol."
"But Moishe" - says Sarah Pipick -"Maybe you should give back some of your bonus money - we have enough already - and who needs a pogrom right here in Fairfield?"
"Fuck them - i did my job! -I generated volume! - I was not responsible for their credit and collections - i never even saw a credit application - why are they picking on me? - I have a legal contract spelling out my responsibilities - what is this ?"
"It's like the Russian Revolution with the fucking peasants going nuts and the Bolsheviks just egging them on!"
"But Moishe - what should i do -there on the lawn?"
"Call the police and let out the Dobermans -and start packing!"
"Wer'e moving to Germany!"
First some history:
The October Revolution/The Struggle For Power and the Rise of the Bolsheviks -Russia 1917
"On the one hand, “The property owning classes were becoming more conservative and the masses more radical (Reed 1)” Soon after the Provisional Government was in power many of the problems that helped them overthrow the Tsar still existed: Russia was still doing badly in the war, bread was still scarce and the people were calling for more drastic changes. The newly released radical leaders were whipping the common people into a frenzy and the policies of the Provisional Government were not helping them." = Wikipedia
So - cut to Moishe Pipick's wife - looking out her bay window overlooking Long Island Sound in Fairfield, Connecticut - she yells:
"Hey Moishey - There's a bus and some really mad people outside our driveway with sign saying - "Give back the money you greedy AIG Jew - or else!"
"Oye vey - don't worry Sarah - it's just the peasants from over in Bridgeport -who think they can get something for free - so they can go back home and drink themselves to death while watching American Idol."
"But Moishe" - says Sarah Pipick -"Maybe you should give back some of your bonus money - we have enough already - and who needs a pogrom right here in Fairfield?"
"Fuck them - i did my job! -I generated volume! - I was not responsible for their credit and collections - i never even saw a credit application - why are they picking on me? - I have a legal contract spelling out my responsibilities - what is this ?"
"It's like the Russian Revolution with the fucking peasants going nuts and the Bolsheviks just egging them on!"
"But Moishe - what should i do -there on the lawn?"
"Call the police and let out the Dobermans -and start packing!"
"Wer'e moving to Germany!"
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Fertile Immigrants Can Hump US Out Of Debt
By 2030 - the United States (Los Unidos Estatos) will be sixty eight percent (and growing) Hispanic - sooooooooooooo:
Just Remember as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.
Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!
Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.
I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!
If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.
Maybe we issue temporary "Breeding Visas" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say ten years:
Your In! - Welcome To America
It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - paying the bills!
I just hope THEY don't wise up down the road and start passing "Soak the Gringo's" legislation - and putting families with less than five children in a higher tax bracket.
Just Remember as the current congress frets about the future indebtiness of their lily white grandkids - it's the working class Hispanics - with their high fertility rates and condom averse Catholicism - that will be paying for all these bailouts and programs - and the festival of freebies that the Democrats are hosting.
Sooooo - let's get off the backs of our super generous latino brothers and sisters - legal and illegal alike - because THEIR grandchildren are going to do most of the paying for all the freebies and bailouts - and all the funny money that's flying out of the Treasury and Federal Reserve - As we speak!
Let's encourage more of our latino brothers and sisters to cross the border - and open our borders to all ethnic groups with solid track records of bountiful procreation - and supercharged fertility rates.
I say -If they can knock out a quick batch of future American loan repayers - let em in -come on in and join the party!
If a couple - has - say - five or six young children - and one in the oven - and you want into "Debtland America" - C'mon in - go to the head of the line - we can sure use your future debt repayers.
Maybe we issue temporary "Breeding Visas" - if you agree to have a child every eighteen months - and you don't fall behind in your reproduction - and you agree to keep your "Repayers" in the USA for say ten years:
Your In! - Welcome To America
It's a sensible solution in keeping with the great American tradition of letting the people who can least afford it - paying the bills!
I just hope THEY don't wise up down the road and start passing "Soak the Gringo's" legislation - and putting families with less than five children in a higher tax bracket.
America Needs A Sheriff With Big Brass Balls
Where's a John Wayne When You Need One?
Hey - would you let the government arbitrarily change the tax code to fuck you out of contractually earned income?
I mean- the American Revolution got started over crapola like that.
The congress - some Republicans aside - is scared shitless of the peasants marching towards their homes with torches and pitchforks looking for "Financial Frankensteins" like poor Chris Dodd.
I mean- just ask the average person out there what a derivative is or a credit swap - and they will ask you what channel it's on.
And our chicken shit legislators just run for cover instead of playing the tough instructive sherrif with the ignorant lynch mob : --"Ok - no problema - here's the keys to their cell - there's the tree over there - here's a nice rope "
Where's a John Wayne when you need one?
"Welluh put down that torch and rope pardner - you are just an ignorant fired up jerkoff - go home and beat up your wife - and leave financial justice to folks with IQ's over seventy five."
What a bunch of unprincipled wimps those congressional democrats are - and that includes the head wimp himself . (You know who)
It's so disgusting - this whole hyped up fucking uproar!
These bonus recipients would have gotten paid per their contracts if NO bailout was provided - the bailout was provided out of necessity - and the bonus' are a drop in the bucket - a tiny percent of the bailout money. And this is VERY complicated shit they are dealing with -they are not just a bunch of greedy morons - you think they wanted this collapse?
They took risks and made mistakes - just like everone else - from the high rollers to the schmucky borrowers.
And even if you don't care about taxation without representation and a blatant confiscatory breech of contracts - you SHOULD care about not having the most qualified people around to get AIG back to normal.
But - Nooo - the jerkoffs in congress are willing to abuse their power - and lie - and do or say anything to appease you - their ignorant emotional constituents - the mob - whenever the going gets rough.
We need John Wayne! - Not Gomer Pyle!
Anyway - any AIG bonus recipient worth his salt is in Las Vegas - driving around in a new ferrari - and getting laid by five- hundred dollar an hour hookers - Before Uncle Sam gets to pick his pockets.
Hey - would you let the government arbitrarily change the tax code to fuck you out of contractually earned income?
I mean- the American Revolution got started over crapola like that.
The congress - some Republicans aside - is scared shitless of the peasants marching towards their homes with torches and pitchforks looking for "Financial Frankensteins" like poor Chris Dodd.
I mean- just ask the average person out there what a derivative is or a credit swap - and they will ask you what channel it's on.
And our chicken shit legislators just run for cover instead of playing the tough instructive sherrif with the ignorant lynch mob : --"Ok - no problema - here's the keys to their cell - there's the tree over there - here's a nice rope "
Where's a John Wayne when you need one?
"Welluh put down that torch and rope pardner - you are just an ignorant fired up jerkoff - go home and beat up your wife - and leave financial justice to folks with IQ's over seventy five."
What a bunch of unprincipled wimps those congressional democrats are - and that includes the head wimp himself . (You know who)
It's so disgusting - this whole hyped up fucking uproar!
These bonus recipients would have gotten paid per their contracts if NO bailout was provided - the bailout was provided out of necessity - and the bonus' are a drop in the bucket - a tiny percent of the bailout money. And this is VERY complicated shit they are dealing with -they are not just a bunch of greedy morons - you think they wanted this collapse?
They took risks and made mistakes - just like everone else - from the high rollers to the schmucky borrowers.
And even if you don't care about taxation without representation and a blatant confiscatory breech of contracts - you SHOULD care about not having the most qualified people around to get AIG back to normal.
But - Nooo - the jerkoffs in congress are willing to abuse their power - and lie - and do or say anything to appease you - their ignorant emotional constituents - the mob - whenever the going gets rough.
We need John Wayne! - Not Gomer Pyle!
Anyway - any AIG bonus recipient worth his salt is in Las Vegas - driving around in a new ferrari - and getting laid by five- hundred dollar an hour hookers - Before Uncle Sam gets to pick his pockets.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Where's a John Wayne When You Need One?
Hey - would you let the government arbitrarily change the tax code to fuck you out of contractually earned income?
I mean- the American Revolution got started over crapola like that.
The congress - some Republicans aside - is desperate to avoid the peasants marching towards their homes with torches and pitchforks looking for "Financial Frankensteins" like poor Chris Dodd.
I mean- just ask the average person out there what a derivative is or a credit swap - and they will ask you what channel it's on. And our chicken shit legislators just run for cover instead of playing the tough instructive sherrif with the ignorant lynch mob :
Ok - no problema - here's the keys to their cell - there's the tree over there - here's a nice rope.
Where's a John Wayne when you need one?
"Welluh put down that torch and rope pardner - you are just an ignorant fired up jerkoff - go home and beat up your wife - and leave financial justice to folks with IQ's over seventy five."
What a bunch of unprincipled wimps those congressional democrats are - and that includes the head wimp himself . (You know who)
It's so disgusting - this whole hyped up fucking uproar!
These bonus recipients would have gotten paid per their contracts if NO bailout was provided - the bailout was provided out of necessity - and the bonus' are a drop in the bucket - a tiny percent of the bailout money. And this is VERY complicated shit they are dealing with -they are not just a bunch of greedy morons - you think they wanted this collapse?
They took risks and made mistakes - just like everone else - from the high rollers to the schmucky borrowers.
And even if you don't care about taxation without representation and a blatant confiscatory breech of contracts - you SHOULD care about not having the most qualified people around to get AIG back to normal.
But - Nooo - the jerkoffs in congress are willing to abuse their power - and lie - and do or say anything to appease you - their ignorant emotional constituents - the mob - when the going gets rough.
We need John Wayne!
Anyway - any AIG bonus recipient worth his salt is in Las Vegas - driving around in a new ferrari - and getting laid by five- hundred dollar an hour hookers - Before Uncle Sam gets to pick his pockets.
I mean- the American Revolution got started over crapola like that.
The congress - some Republicans aside - is desperate to avoid the peasants marching towards their homes with torches and pitchforks looking for "Financial Frankensteins" like poor Chris Dodd.
I mean- just ask the average person out there what a derivative is or a credit swap - and they will ask you what channel it's on. And our chicken shit legislators just run for cover instead of playing the tough instructive sherrif with the ignorant lynch mob :
Ok - no problema - here's the keys to their cell - there's the tree over there - here's a nice rope.
Where's a John Wayne when you need one?
"Welluh put down that torch and rope pardner - you are just an ignorant fired up jerkoff - go home and beat up your wife - and leave financial justice to folks with IQ's over seventy five."
What a bunch of unprincipled wimps those congressional democrats are - and that includes the head wimp himself . (You know who)
It's so disgusting - this whole hyped up fucking uproar!
These bonus recipients would have gotten paid per their contracts if NO bailout was provided - the bailout was provided out of necessity - and the bonus' are a drop in the bucket - a tiny percent of the bailout money. And this is VERY complicated shit they are dealing with -they are not just a bunch of greedy morons - you think they wanted this collapse?
They took risks and made mistakes - just like everone else - from the high rollers to the schmucky borrowers.
And even if you don't care about taxation without representation and a blatant confiscatory breech of contracts - you SHOULD care about not having the most qualified people around to get AIG back to normal.
But - Nooo - the jerkoffs in congress are willing to abuse their power - and lie - and do or say anything to appease you - their ignorant emotional constituents - the mob - when the going gets rough.
We need John Wayne!
Anyway - any AIG bonus recipient worth his salt is in Las Vegas - driving around in a new ferrari - and getting laid by five- hundred dollar an hour hookers - Before Uncle Sam gets to pick his pockets.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Fox TV Announces "The Miss MiddleEast Contest - With Donald Trump
Fox TV president Moishe Pipick said at a press conference announcement in West Hollywood today:
“We sent Donnie to the Middle East after he came up with this idea of a programming extension of “The Miss America Contest” - And we were quite frankly very concerned as to the possibility of finding talent that was smart and had nice tits and legs and asses – because you never hear from or see any of the gals over there.”
He continued: ‘But the Donald assured us that he had seen some of the hottest women he has ever seen anywhere - in private clubs and exclusive whorehouses over there – and also felt that the show could help liberate the Muslim women and would even help the Israeli /Palestinian peace process.”
“Well boy did he come back with a bunch of hot Arab tomatoes!
"I mean - they make the Victoria Secret models look like Barbara Bush - No wonder those Muslims cover em up that way they do!”
Pipick concluded: “Anyway it’s gonna be a great show – and hopefully the beginning of a cultural breakthrough with the Arab Muslims – and their superhot women.”
“I’m already thinking – “The Desperate Housewives of Medina”
“We sent Donnie to the Middle East after he came up with this idea of a programming extension of “The Miss America Contest” - And we were quite frankly very concerned as to the possibility of finding talent that was smart and had nice tits and legs and asses – because you never hear from or see any of the gals over there.”
He continued: ‘But the Donald assured us that he had seen some of the hottest women he has ever seen anywhere - in private clubs and exclusive whorehouses over there – and also felt that the show could help liberate the Muslim women and would even help the Israeli /Palestinian peace process.”
“Well boy did he come back with a bunch of hot Arab tomatoes!
"I mean - they make the Victoria Secret models look like Barbara Bush - No wonder those Muslims cover em up that way they do!”
Pipick concluded: “Anyway it’s gonna be a great show – and hopefully the beginning of a cultural breakthrough with the Arab Muslims – and their superhot women.”
“I’m already thinking – “The Desperate Housewives of Medina”
Pope Benedick Wacks Off WITHOUT A Condom -Says Priests
Pope Benedick Caught Wacking Off By Young Priests
In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outside the pussy he explained) --are sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!
Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!"
"They opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Pope Cum everywhere!"
"And he was NOt wearing a condom!"
So said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.
The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Sol" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Jew."
The Pope went on; "And we'll just see how well two lying pansy priests make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan." -- that comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community!
The digibandit Vatican reporter -Margo Macaroni was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"
We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Satire."
In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outside the pussy he explained) --are sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!
Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!"
"They opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Pope Cum everywhere!"
"And he was NOt wearing a condom!"
So said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.
The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Sol" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Jew."
The Pope went on; "And we'll just see how well two lying pansy priests make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan." -- that comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community!
The digibandit Vatican reporter -Margo Macaroni was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"
We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Satire."
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
AIG Trader Captured By the "One Eyed Video Cam Hooker"
Top AIG trader Moishe Pipick was in las Vegas on his bonus spending spree.
He bought a brand new canary yellow Ferrari - drove over to his fifteen thousand dollar a night Emperor’s Suite at the Trump Palace – and promptly called a five thousand dollar an hour hooker –AKA Elise Mandelbaum,
But unbeknownst to Mr. Pipick - he was about to get fucked AND videotaped by the famous documentarian with the prosthetic eye-cam - AKA “The One Eyed Video Cam Hooker.”
So –now we have a top tier AIG derivatives swap trader swapping his pecker with a georgeous hooker with a camera in her eye – and telling ALL.
“What’s all the fuss about my four million dollar bonus? Come on! – I earn one thousand dollars a second in a BAD week – the average schmuck earns maybe twenty CENTS a second,
And you know why? – Because the amount of moola that I move around the world in a week - would take nine thousand workers at Wal Mart a lifetime to generate!
I’m a fucking talented genius – I work under incredible pressure – and it’s not my fault that the fucking bubble burst! –I live WITHIN my means –not like all those fucking spend and shop losers out there – defaulting on all their obligations.
And hey – I have a signes contract –what is this Russia? –You just make up the rules as you go along to suit the State and appease the ignorant peasants when they get really pissed off?
Oh – hey – and have you seen any of us AIG traders interviewed by the press? – No No No - Dontch'a think someone ought to tell our side of the story?
Well – What Moishe Pipick doesn’t know is – as he ordered up another bottle of Dom Perignon and three ounces of Beluga Caviar :
That he just did! – While getting a blow job from “The One –Eyed VideoCam Hooker”
We’ll keep an eye out for you!
He bought a brand new canary yellow Ferrari - drove over to his fifteen thousand dollar a night Emperor’s Suite at the Trump Palace – and promptly called a five thousand dollar an hour hooker –AKA Elise Mandelbaum,
But unbeknownst to Mr. Pipick - he was about to get fucked AND videotaped by the famous documentarian with the prosthetic eye-cam - AKA “The One Eyed Video Cam Hooker.”
So –now we have a top tier AIG derivatives swap trader swapping his pecker with a georgeous hooker with a camera in her eye – and telling ALL.
“What’s all the fuss about my four million dollar bonus? Come on! – I earn one thousand dollars a second in a BAD week – the average schmuck earns maybe twenty CENTS a second,
And you know why? – Because the amount of moola that I move around the world in a week - would take nine thousand workers at Wal Mart a lifetime to generate!
I’m a fucking talented genius – I work under incredible pressure – and it’s not my fault that the fucking bubble burst! –I live WITHIN my means –not like all those fucking spend and shop losers out there – defaulting on all their obligations.
And hey – I have a signes contract –what is this Russia? –You just make up the rules as you go along to suit the State and appease the ignorant peasants when they get really pissed off?
Oh – hey – and have you seen any of us AIG traders interviewed by the press? – No No No - Dontch'a think someone ought to tell our side of the story?
Well – What Moishe Pipick doesn’t know is – as he ordered up another bottle of Dom Perignon and three ounces of Beluga Caviar :
That he just did! – While getting a blow job from “The One –Eyed VideoCam Hooker”
We’ll keep an eye out for you!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
AIG Played By The Rules - Unlike Most Everybody Else
With the peasants stalking the streets with pitch forks and torches - looking for financial Frankensteins in every nook and corner -they should take a deep breath and focus on who is really to blame for our financial system turning into a Wall street version of Caesar's Palace.
The White House -The Congress - the Treasury Department - the Federal reserve - The lenders - Moody's and Standard and Poors and regulators and most of the press - yadadadada - it wasn't those high powered folks at AIG who just played the hand that was dealt them - and they played it by the book -(or i assume they would be arrested by now)
They made compensation agreements - and they should be paid!
Hey - uncle Sam is not bailing them out because he's a supportive avuncular relative - we fucking have to - there's over two hundred dollars in derivatives floating around out there!
Chuck Grassly wants them all to commit suicide? - Great - right after congress passes out the poisoned kool aid and does it's warranted imitation of the Jim Jones clan in Guayana. -for their collective role in this monstrous financial fiasco.
Hey -it's so simple - the investment and political class has basically no idea of what's happening in working class America until the shit hits the fan - never has - never will!
Anybody who sat in some local shitty watering hole across America - during the past eight years and listened to the chat knew that America had turned into a fucking consumer version of a las Vegas casino
Buy Buy Buy - forget health insurance - get some more stuff - save nothing - what if the shit hits the fan? - hahaha - i'll borrow some more on my house and credit cards -- hahaha - have another beer -yahaha - yodedodo ...
And the upper class has no fucking clue - the brainy financial wizards don't give a shit - their working on the vig - they get a piece of the action - just keep the action going like a successful Casino does.
Only in Vegas they don't lend the moola to buy the chips - sooooo -just think about a mere one million people going south on three hundred thousand dollar mortgages. - And when the housing bubble goes pop (for a very minor example) -and - oops- there goes three hundred trillion in funny money.
Game Over!
And they didn't see it coming! -How fucking out of touch can you be! - I mean the average schmuck can't balance his checking account - but our "Royalty" is supposed to sound the alarm - but they were oblivious and rollin in the do re mi.
Yeah - just like Louie and Marie before the French Revolution - only in America - as usual - wer'e chopping off the wrong heads.
Oh -and now when the shit hits the fan - nobody's got what the old post depression crowd used to call "Fuck You Money" in the bank to hold them over -just in case.
And - i repeat - nobody who was supposed to sound warning bells about that kind of shit was paying attention - they were too busy rolling the dice - and playing partisan politics. (Just like Obama is doing now -over this AIG stupidity)
So blame your greedy fucking stupid selves - and your lawmakers and regulators - not AIG - they were just doing what they were supposed to do and messed up - so fire them!
But no! -The peasants are really pissed - so give em what they need - more bullshit.
It's a lot easier than calling it straight.
The White House -The Congress - the Treasury Department - the Federal reserve - The lenders - Moody's and Standard and Poors and regulators and most of the press - yadadadada - it wasn't those high powered folks at AIG who just played the hand that was dealt them - and they played it by the book -(or i assume they would be arrested by now)
They made compensation agreements - and they should be paid!
Hey - uncle Sam is not bailing them out because he's a supportive avuncular relative - we fucking have to - there's over two hundred dollars in derivatives floating around out there!
Chuck Grassly wants them all to commit suicide? - Great - right after congress passes out the poisoned kool aid and does it's warranted imitation of the Jim Jones clan in Guayana. -for their collective role in this monstrous financial fiasco.
Hey -it's so simple - the investment and political class has basically no idea of what's happening in working class America until the shit hits the fan - never has - never will!
Anybody who sat in some local shitty watering hole across America - during the past eight years and listened to the chat knew that America had turned into a fucking consumer version of a las Vegas casino
Buy Buy Buy - forget health insurance - get some more stuff - save nothing - what if the shit hits the fan? - hahaha - i'll borrow some more on my house and credit cards -- hahaha - have another beer -yahaha - yodedodo ...
And the upper class has no fucking clue - the brainy financial wizards don't give a shit - their working on the vig - they get a piece of the action - just keep the action going like a successful Casino does.
Only in Vegas they don't lend the moola to buy the chips - sooooo -just think about a mere one million people going south on three hundred thousand dollar mortgages. - And when the housing bubble goes pop (for a very minor example) -and - oops- there goes three hundred trillion in funny money.
Game Over!
And they didn't see it coming! -How fucking out of touch can you be! - I mean the average schmuck can't balance his checking account - but our "Royalty" is supposed to sound the alarm - but they were oblivious and rollin in the do re mi.
Yeah - just like Louie and Marie before the French Revolution - only in America - as usual - wer'e chopping off the wrong heads.
Oh -and now when the shit hits the fan - nobody's got what the old post depression crowd used to call "Fuck You Money" in the bank to hold them over -just in case.
And - i repeat - nobody who was supposed to sound warning bells about that kind of shit was paying attention - they were too busy rolling the dice - and playing partisan politics. (Just like Obama is doing now -over this AIG stupidity)
So blame your greedy fucking stupid selves - and your lawmakers and regulators - not AIG - they were just doing what they were supposed to do and messed up - so fire them!
But no! -The peasants are really pissed - so give em what they need - more bullshit.
It's a lot easier than calling it straight.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Obama Must Get Behind (pun) The Gays - 100% Now!
In a letter on Feb. 20 to the Administrative Office of the United States Courts, an arm of the federal judiciary, Lorraine E. Dettman, assistant director of the personnel office, said,
“Plans in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program may not provide coverage for domestic partners, or legally married partners of the same sex, even though recognized by state law.”
Benefits are available to the spouse of a federal employee, Ms. Dettman said, but the 1996 law stipulates that “the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.”
This draconian provision is left over from the Bush Rednecks and their "Defense of marriage Act" - and Obama should throw it out with the other garbage he has already dumped from the deep shithole of the conservative agenda.
Mr. Prezidente - P;ease don't start playing patsy with the congress on core principles - the people are with you all the way - they know the GOP is pretty much a bunch of wack jobs.
Ben LaBolt, a White House spokesman, said: “While the president opposes gay marriage, he supports legislative repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. He believes this country must realize its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect.”
So - you gotta follow through on your high principles:
And -stick it up the GOP's ass! (oops another homo pun) -Sorry...........
“Plans in the Federal Employees Health Benefits Program may not provide coverage for domestic partners, or legally married partners of the same sex, even though recognized by state law.”
Benefits are available to the spouse of a federal employee, Ms. Dettman said, but the 1996 law stipulates that “the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.”
This draconian provision is left over from the Bush Rednecks and their "Defense of marriage Act" - and Obama should throw it out with the other garbage he has already dumped from the deep shithole of the conservative agenda.
Mr. Prezidente - P;ease don't start playing patsy with the congress on core principles - the people are with you all the way - they know the GOP is pretty much a bunch of wack jobs.
Ben LaBolt, a White House spokesman, said: “While the president opposes gay marriage, he supports legislative repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. He believes this country must realize its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect.”
So - you gotta follow through on your high principles:
And -stick it up the GOP's ass! (oops another homo pun) -Sorry...........
Pope Benedick Caught Wacking Off By Young Priests
Pope Caught Masturbating In A Vatican Confessional Chamber
In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outside the pussy he explained) --are sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!
Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!" -- they opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Pope Cum everywhere!" said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.
The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Sol" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Jew." --
He continued, "And we'll see how well two lying pansies make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan." -- that comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community?
The digibandit Vatican reporter -Margo Macaroni was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"
We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Satire."
In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outside the pussy he explained) --are sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!
Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!" -- they opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Pope Cum everywhere!" said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.
The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Sol" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Jew." --
He continued, "And we'll see how well two lying pansies make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan." -- that comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community?
The digibandit Vatican reporter -Margo Macaroni was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"
We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Satire."
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
One Eyed Hooker Has Videos Of Rush Limbaugh l
One-eyed filmmaker conceals camera in prosthetic :
BRUSSELS - Elise Mandelbaum a one-eyed documentary filmmaker and high priced prostitute has recorded Rush Limbaugh with a video camera concealed inside her prosthetic eye.
The georgeous Belgian's eye was damaged in a childhood accident and it was removed three years ago. Now, she is in the final stages of developing a camera to turn the handicap into an advantage.
A fan of the 1970s televsion series "The Six Million Dollar Man" (ooh what a schwanstucker he must have i thought) - Elise had an epiphany when looking at her cell phone camera and realizing something that small could fit into her empty eye socket.
With the camera tucked inside a prosthetic eye, she hopes to be able to record the same things she sees with his working eye, her muscles moving the camera eye just like her real one.
Also, said Ms. Mandelbaum - as a hooker i get to see the real character of a lot of powerful assholes and tyrants like Rush Limbaugh.
"I want his fans to see him dressed up like a girl - crying ' Spank me! Spank me! -I'm a bad little girl - I have a pee pee -and I'm a bad little girl!' ( he's always stoned on Oxycotin)- Then maybe they won't think he's so righteous when he rants and preaches his intolerant bullshit!"
"Sometimes he begs me to wear a white robe and tell him i am God - and that it's ok for him to have a pee pee. (and a tiny one at that)" - said Ms. Mandelbaum.
She concluded; "And i have videos of some world leaders - including the Pope and Ahmadinejad - that are real eye openers (a pun - sorry)"
"And i'll be showing you all some great stuff in the future - and in the meantime -I'll keep an eye out for ya! "
Ha Ha Ha Ha
BRUSSELS - Elise Mandelbaum a one-eyed documentary filmmaker and high priced prostitute has recorded Rush Limbaugh with a video camera concealed inside her prosthetic eye.
The georgeous Belgian's eye was damaged in a childhood accident and it was removed three years ago. Now, she is in the final stages of developing a camera to turn the handicap into an advantage.
A fan of the 1970s televsion series "The Six Million Dollar Man" (ooh what a schwanstucker he must have i thought) - Elise had an epiphany when looking at her cell phone camera and realizing something that small could fit into her empty eye socket.
With the camera tucked inside a prosthetic eye, she hopes to be able to record the same things she sees with his working eye, her muscles moving the camera eye just like her real one.
Also, said Ms. Mandelbaum - as a hooker i get to see the real character of a lot of powerful assholes and tyrants like Rush Limbaugh.
"I want his fans to see him dressed up like a girl - crying ' Spank me! Spank me! -I'm a bad little girl - I have a pee pee -and I'm a bad little girl!' ( he's always stoned on Oxycotin)- Then maybe they won't think he's so righteous when he rants and preaches his intolerant bullshit!"
"Sometimes he begs me to wear a white robe and tell him i am God - and that it's ok for him to have a pee pee. (and a tiny one at that)" - said Ms. Mandelbaum.
She concluded; "And i have videos of some world leaders - including the Pope and Ahmadinejad - that are real eye openers (a pun - sorry)"
"And i'll be showing you all some great stuff in the future - and in the meantime -I'll keep an eye out for ya! "
Ha Ha Ha Ha
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Rush Limbaugh Has Sex With Sheep On His Farm
Oxycotin Gets Rush Limbaugh In Cotton
The Bandit has learned that rabid conservative Mullah, Rush Limbaugh, made love to one of his prize sheep, in the barn, on his farm in Pennsylvania.
Clem Manure, farm manager said "his addiction to Oxycotin has taken over his mind -- he was plowing Cotton and he kept screaming "take it Laura you slut" -- referring to Laura Ingram his kinky conservative colleague"
Clem came forward because he is an animal activist and said that: "Dolly is so embarrased she has stopped grazing -- she won't come out of her stall -- plus there's the rest of the herd to think about."
Shawn Hannity , a Limbaugh lover said on Fox news this morning : "What's the big deal? -- it was a mature sheep and she probably asked for it."
And John Mc Caine said "I always knew Rush would fuck a snake - but this is too much -Rush needs to stay off the drugs - baa baaa - heh heh"
The Bandit has learned that rabid conservative Mullah, Rush Limbaugh, made love to one of his prize sheep, in the barn, on his farm in Pennsylvania.
Clem Manure, farm manager said "his addiction to Oxycotin has taken over his mind -- he was plowing Cotton and he kept screaming "take it Laura you slut" -- referring to Laura Ingram his kinky conservative colleague"
Clem came forward because he is an animal activist and said that: "Dolly is so embarrased she has stopped grazing -- she won't come out of her stall -- plus there's the rest of the herd to think about."
Shawn Hannity , a Limbaugh lover said on Fox news this morning : "What's the big deal? -- it was a mature sheep and she probably asked for it."
And John Mc Caine said "I always knew Rush would fuck a snake - but this is too much -Rush needs to stay off the drugs - baa baaa - heh heh"
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Mullahs Expelled From Government - Hallelujah!
One prominent advocate of stem cell research is Dr. Moishe Pipick, executive vice president for government relations and operations at the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Mr. Dr. Pipick said in a telephone interview Friday that he was sure that Mr. Obama would indeed signal a return to an era of “scientists making scientific decisions.”
So -at long last - the religious fanaticks have been cut out of public policy making decisions - and can nowcentrate full time on their primary mission:
Brainwashing - collecting souls - and repressive sex.
Next -The Gun morons!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Endangered Homeowners Should Take In Prisoners
Hey - with one in thirty two 'Folks" on probation or incarcerated in the good ole USA (most for non -violent crimes)- at an average annual cost in Federal prison of over 50k per year - why not let homeowners who can't make their payments:
Get paid by Uncle Sam to house them!
The average homeowner could take two prisoners for say half of what the Fed pays out - and have enough income to pay the mortgage - and enough left over to go shopping,
The prisoners would have a chance to acclimate back into society in a way that might cut down on recidivism -saving society a ton of grief and money.
And - Team Obama would get enough savings to complete health Care reform.
Hey - this may be the digibandit's best idea for saving America - since recommending Bernie Madoff for Treasury Secretary.
(Oh -and the government would pay a hefty premium for homeowners who house violent prisoners - of course)
Get paid by Uncle Sam to house them!
The average homeowner could take two prisoners for say half of what the Fed pays out - and have enough income to pay the mortgage - and enough left over to go shopping,
The prisoners would have a chance to acclimate back into society in a way that might cut down on recidivism -saving society a ton of grief and money.
And - Team Obama would get enough savings to complete health Care reform.
Hey - this may be the digibandit's best idea for saving America - since recommending Bernie Madoff for Treasury Secretary.
(Oh -and the government would pay a hefty premium for homeowners who house violent prisoners - of course)
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Alan Greenspan - NOW we Understand
The derivatives market today is $531 trillion, up from $106 trillion in 2002 and a relative pittance just two decades ago. Theoretically intended to limit risk and ward off financial problems, the contracts instead have stoked uncertainty and actually spread risk amid doubts about how companies value them.
The contracts allowed financial services firms and corporations to take more complex risks that they might have otherwise avoided — for example, issuing questionable mortgages or excessive corporate debt. The fact that they can be traded in one sense limited risk but also increased the number of parties exposed when problems emerged.
Throughout the 1990s, some argued that derivatives had become so vast, intertwined and inscrutable that they required federal oversight to protect the financial system. But the financial industry lobbied heavily against such measures, and won backing from important figures, including Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve from 1987 to early 2006.
Remember when all the financial wizards would sit around wondering what Alan meant by that look in his eyes when he said "Hmmm" - or when he farted after saying "interest rate" - sniffing to see which way his gas floated - or what he said when he mumbled "isa ghriia" - What? - What are you saying oh genius seer -God - of all matters fiscal?"
Well - now we know what he was saying :
"Ha Ha Ha -you goyisha Jew haters -I'm going home to fuck Andrea -and kish meir in tuchas (kiss my ass) all you waspy dickheads."
The contracts allowed financial services firms and corporations to take more complex risks that they might have otherwise avoided — for example, issuing questionable mortgages or excessive corporate debt. The fact that they can be traded in one sense limited risk but also increased the number of parties exposed when problems emerged.
Throughout the 1990s, some argued that derivatives had become so vast, intertwined and inscrutable that they required federal oversight to protect the financial system. But the financial industry lobbied heavily against such measures, and won backing from important figures, including Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve from 1987 to early 2006.
Remember when all the financial wizards would sit around wondering what Alan meant by that look in his eyes when he said "Hmmm" - or when he farted after saying "interest rate" - sniffing to see which way his gas floated - or what he said when he mumbled "isa ghriia" - What? - What are you saying oh genius seer -God - of all matters fiscal?"
Well - now we know what he was saying :
"Ha Ha Ha -you goyisha Jew haters -I'm going home to fuck Andrea -and kish meir in tuchas (kiss my ass) all you waspy dickheads."
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