xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Jun 30, 2009

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

"Don't Ask Don'T Tell" - Just Bend Over - You Cute Thing

When Marine Staff Seargent Lon McCracken returns to the barracks after surviving another deadly day on tour in Afghanistan:He puts down his gear and staggers into the shower - exhausted and edgy and sore as hell from chasing Talibani fighters up big mountains all day in the heat:And as he turns on the water he hears from the next shower stall:

"Oh Manny - oh Manny - ooh - ahhh - i love it! -OOH i love it - but please Ernie -for gods sake - use some more soap - your dick is practically in my colon -- ooh -- ooh"

At this point seargent Mc Cracken has grabbed his bayonet and in about three seconds Manny and Ernie are going to get some radical surgery.

I mean - the two homo's are just doing what comes naturally -and personally i don't care if a guy gets a blow job while shooting his machine gun at the enemy (as long as it doesn't affect his aim):

But - a lot of those southern crackers who make up about ninety five percent of the military are going to be a bit annoyed at seeing their comrades getting butt fucked and sucked off all over the battlefield and baracks.

Oh - and god forbid if the homos start ass fucking the enemy -oye vey!

This is a very thorny issue - because if the ignorant rednecks stop enlisting - we won't have enough infantry left to invade newfoundland.

It's kinda hard (oops) to cornhole your fagot buddy under the current "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy.

So maybe we should just leave things along until there's complete peace on earth?

"Don't Ask Don't Tell" Just Bend Over Cutie Pie

When Marine Staff Seargent Lon McCracken returns to the barracks after surviving another deadly day on tour in Afghanistan:He puts down his gear and staggers into the shower - exhausted and edgy and sore as hell from chasing Talibani fighters up big mountains all day in the heat:

And as he turns on the water he hears from the next shower stall:"Oh Manny - oh Manny - ooh - ahhh - i love it! -OOH i love it - but please Ernie -for gods sake - use some more soap - your dick is practically in my colon -- ooh -- ooh"

At this point seargent Mc Cracken has grabbed his bayonet and in about three seconds Manny and Ernie are going to get some radical surgery.I mean - the two homo's are just doing what comes naturally -and personally i don't care if a guy gets a blow job while shooting his machine gun at the enemy (as long as it doesn't affect his aim):

But - a lot of those southern crackers who make up about ninety five percent of the military are going to be a bit annoyed at seeing their comrades getting butt fucked and sucked off all over the battlefield and baracks.

Oh - and god forbid if the homos start ass fucking the enemy -oye vey!This is a very thorny issue - because if the ignorant rednecks stop enlisting - we won't have enough infantry left to invade newfoundland.

It's kinda hard (oops) to cornhole your fagot buddy under the current "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy.

So maybe we should just leave things along until there's complete peace on earth?

"Put Down The Fork Or Pay For Your Pork "-Says Obama

Obama said today – at a press conference - “Ok you tubby citizens – and that includes my dear porky pal Oprah and my big butted wife (heh heh) – Cut down on the rice – or pay the price”



“Put down the fork or pay for your pork!”



He continued "I am very serious about this issue because -- You can toss your empty soda cans in the recycle bin instead of the garbage, saving energy and reducing landfill. And you can wear hemp clothes and drive a hybrid car plastered with bumper stickers requesting the salvation of everything from owls to dust mites"



"There are lots of little ways to go green, but if you really want to help save the Earth, you can start by dropping a few pounds."



Obama said: "There's an old joke about a mother telling her son to finish the food on his plate because there are starving children in Africa. The smart-aleck's response is, "Got a stamp?"What's not a joke is that there is a finite amount of food in the world, and it is growing scarce. '



Recent food riots in Haiti, Sudan, Yemen, Mexico, Egypt, and other countries are a stark reminder that many people do not have enough to eat. The cost of staple foods such as corn, rice, and wheat are at record highs across the globe, and some can't afford to feed their families."



"Meanwhile in the United States, obesity is at an all-time high; two-thirds of adults in the Land of Plenty are overweight or obese. Obesity is perhaps the ultimate symbol of resource consumption; it's visible proof that overweight people already have" more than they need—and take more anyway."



"The causes of food shortages are varied and complex, but if Americans simply ate less food, there would be more for the rest of world. By some estimates, the average American consumes about 4,000 calories per day; that's twice what they need. Those 2,000 fewer calories would be available for those who truly need the food, and help to conserve Earth's natural resources."



"Overweight people create more air pollution than thin people do. It's simple physics: Extra pounds translate into extra fuel in automobiles and airplanes. Extra fuel means increased energy usage, oil drilling, and air pollution.A 2004 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that for every ten pounds gained by the average American, airlines burned 350 million more gallons of fuel to carry the additional weight."



"That fuel spewed an estimated 3.8 million extra tons of carbon dioxide into the air.And as for that smaller hybrid car? It's a good start, but there's not much point in buying fuel-efficient vehicles if you're going to fill that large seat with your extra-large butt; you might as well throw a few sandbags in the trunk."



" Fuel efficiency drops dramatically with more weight the engine has to pull; the lighter you are, the less gas you burn, the more money you save, and the less pollution you emit."



"Of course, going green by going lean is easier said than done, and only part of the problem. But by getting ourselves healthier we also help save the planet. Not a bad deal.”



He concluded:"God Bless all your fat asses.” -Especially all those great big black asses!"