xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"Fly Nude Airlines" -Security Guaranteed

Northwest Air announced it's "Fly Nude" Airline Division with a Nude press conference at the beverly Hill's Tanning Center in Los Angeles.

Moishe Pipick head of security for the new venture told the press (while lying in a tanning booth and drinking a Mai Tai):

'Hey -Don't i looked relaxed! -WELL I AM RELAXED! BECAUSE I'M LYING DOWN GETTING A LOVELY TAN AND GETTING LOADED AND THE LAST THING ON MY MIND IS GETTING BLOWN OUT THE WINDOW OF A JETLINER 50 THOUSAND FEET UP IN THE AIR WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS SKYDIVING BEHIND ME"

He continued; "THAT'S the kind of peace and security that's guaranteed on "Fly Nude Air!"

"What about body cavity searches to make sure - well you know?" asked Elise Mandelbaum -digibandit Homeland Security reporter.

Pipick replied: "Passengers will search each other! - Heh Heh
-hey Elise -That's part of the fun on "Fly Nude" -it provides TOTAL security plus it kinda starts the party ball rollin along"

" ps -And you know that no crazy Muslim is gonna take his clothes off anyway -they think nudity is a stoning offense"

"Hey Elise why dontcha strip down and get into the 'Fly Nude" spirit -and i'd love to see your bodacious ta ta's!"

"Okey dokey"

Fox Announces -Dead Relatives With God Videos

Yep -Fox is getting into the Educational Video biz and here's a sample of their first release "Say Hi To Grandpop Up In Heaven"(Grandmom's are next because they live longer) -which is flying off the shelves this holiday season:


Videos can be personalized as follows:

"High my darling grandchildren -This is Granpa Pipick speaking to you from heaven.

'It's so beautiful and peaceful here -and i'm sitting here with God playing a nice game of checkers - and God wants to say hi;

"Hi -this is god and the reason I'm sitting here with Grandpa Pipick playing checkers and sipping iced tea - instead of him roasting for all Eternity in Hell with the Devil -is because he was a good man and he worshipped me."

"So i want you to be very good and worship me blindly no matter how horrible life treats you or how stupid that seems -or you won't get up here and be with your good -God loving loved ones

"And if you're real bad - i might just send Grandpa Pipick down to Hell just to get even. - Now here's your Grandpa again"

"Now kids - you want me to go on living like a King up here in Heaven dontcha? -So don't fuck up and get me sent down with Grandma Pipick and Uncle Abe -in Hell!"

"And the production is so inexpensive" said Elise Mandelbaum President of Fox Video.

She stated; "The religious right loonies will buy these videos by the millions - we received ten thousand videos of grandparents from these nut cases just last week so we can edit them into the finished tapes before they croak"

"Or we can just send the generic version with fake heavenly voices (with provided info re Grandpa) as soon as we receive a deposit of $49.95"

"Hey! _ isn't there a whole new potential market here? -Messages from the dead kinda stuff?" asked digibandit Hollywood reporter Yonah Shimmel.

"heh heh" Laughed Mandelbaum "And a whole new reality show series is in the works:

"Afterlife" starring dead people - playing themselves before they died - Just as if they were still alive "

Fox rules!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Santa Claus Charged With Sodomizing Elves

Santa arrived back in the North Pole after a long night of gift giving to find himself taken into custody by the Polar Police -his Reindeer quarantined and his sled impounded -as hundreds of elves with torches and pitchforks screamed "Santa is a pervert!"

Meyer Lansky the North Pole Chief of Police stated; 'Santa has been taken into custody because of DNA evidence and testimony alleging that he was routinely sodomizing both his.male and female elves - and maybe even his Reindeers?

He said: "And we are asking all parents to watch their children this Christmas day for any evidence of unusual or frightful .behavior"

"For example -If they are afraid to open their presents or cry at the sight of milk and cookies "

"Merry Christmas"

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Pastor Rick Warren Guilty Of Masturbation Genocide

What's that! - The Pastor who presided at Obama's inauguration - Who has the largest Christian Congregation on earth (The Saddleback Church)-Who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life" -which has outsold the Bible:

Guilty of genocide?--- Absolutely and here's why!

He told David Gregory on "Meet The Press" -- "There has been a genocide of sixty million souls - those who have been aborted since the Roe V Wade decision.

OK -so since Ricky equates a women's decision to have some microscopic cells scraped from her uterus- or the early growth of an embryo- both of which represent the "POTENTIAL" for human life - with genocidal murder:

I hence assume he believes that GOD is saying ""Uh Uh Don't fuck with MY zygotes - i gave you humans sperm and eggs and they are to be used for procreation only - or you are guilty of murder -- oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

Now for those of us who believe that "LIfe" begins when their is sentience and follow our ethical and moral precepts guided by medical science and common sense and with respect for a women's privacy - well - we are on a plane with Adolph Eichmann and Hitler et.al -and are killing little humans daily .(fortunately in the good ole USA as opposed to Saudi Arabia or even the USA prior to the separation of Church and State)) We heathens don't have to receive our morality direct from the tooth fairy)

Oh -and Ricky boy just stands there and preaches while genocide is occuring all around him - (kinda like the Church did during the lesser Holocaust of a mere six million Jews)

Anyway -back to Pastor Rick's complicity in personal genocidal homicide - BECAUSE - if destroying the POTENTIAL for life (as opposed to the secular view of when LIFE ACTUALLY begins) IS on a moral plain with "MURDER"- in the eyes of GOD -and as Pastor Ricky says :

THEN (ta da) - every time Rick Warren jerked off - he commited "MURDER"-according to the Bible and in the eyes of GOD!

As a million sperm cells carrying the potential for life flew onto his belly - Pastor Rick - Along with all the other murderous masturbating Christians - destroyed the potential for life in the eyes of god:

As surely as did the SS officer who shoved my Aunt Tanta and her three little girls into the ovens at Auswich)

So - first of all Ricky -YOU are going to HELL! -And secondly -you are going to the hottest part of HELL - Because you stood by and watched sixty million human beings being slaughtered since Roe V Wade and did shit!

Oh - and i won't even get into what St. Thomas Aquinas would say about when you good Christians become guilty of such genocide in the eyes of GOD - BUT FYI -It would be when you begin -in good conscience - to plan on how to frustrate the insemination process with your onerous anti ovulation trickery - Which is SO transparent to your God (and REALLY pisses him off)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Final Nail In Republican Coffin

The same group of stinking fat cats and conservatives voted for the Fugitive Slave act - Plessy Ferguson and against all attempted Civil Rights legislation - They tried to block Suffrage and the New Deal and every attempt by Progressives to help labor and the poor and the disenfranchised - ever since the inception of our representative Democracy

Bibles in hand they are pro gun -pro unwanted life -pro war (any war)-anti immigration -anti minimum wage equity - anti environment and anti intellectual and anti science.

They hate gays - and they worship an out of control and unregulated financial system that brought us to the brink of economic collapse.

They never said boo when GW drove up the deficit and federal spending to record levels -AND:

Now the whole batch of them has voted against Health Care Reform! - a political strategy to stop the progress being made across the board by a brilliant President who they hate.

And who is on the way to restoring this nation to place of dignity and promise in the World -Abandoned during the Dark Ages of Republican rule under that moron GW.

Adios rednecks!- You're finished! -Health Care Reform is on the way!


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Tiger Is An Angel Next To These Fuckers

“I’m a conservative who opposes radically redefining marriage, the most important social institution in human history,” Mr. David Vitter, a 46-year-old Republican, wrote in a letter last year to The Times-Picayune, the New Orleans daily.

That self-created image, a political winner here since 1991, when Mr. Vitter joined the Louisiana House, took a tumble with the disclosure that his phone number was among those on a list of client numbers kept by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the so-called D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a prostitution ring in Washington."

"So this report in todays New York Times should come as no surprise to anyone with half a brain!" said Doctor Herschel Mandelbaum, head psychiatrist at the National Center for Male Lust, in Eugene Oregon.

"Every study that has ever been done on the male libido, and it's cognitive and physiological response to hot pussy; -- has conclusively shown that the prick has a very strong mind of it's own!"

He added; "And in the case of male religious conservatives these studies have shown that seventy percent of them will jump anything they can! The family value thing is right out the window when the one eyed monstor starts to rise -- fortunately for their families most of these bible thumpers are very unnatractive to women and have low levels of testosterone and small dicks -- otherwise they would fuck their pets!"

Dr.Mandelbaum, who is the world authority on male libidian behavior further stated; "And in the case of male politicians who espouse conservative family values -- our studies have shown with a margin of error of less then one percent, that when arroused -- they would fuck a snake!"

In conclusion the Doctor stated: " When finally caught with their peckers hanging out they always say, as in the case of Senator Vitter, -- "I am so sorry that i sinned in the past before i found the Lord --yadadadada."

"It's all bullshit! -- If a woan winked at them seconds after their bullshit cries of contrition - they would throw her in the back of their limo and fuck her like a dog in heat!"


Friday, December 18, 2009

Rolex Announces "Cheat Like a Tiger" Edition

"When you're a serious "Cheater" -you have GOT to know the Exact time at All times -and manage your time very effectively -and Rolex is proud to sponsor Tiger Woods as we launch the new eighteen carat gold diamond encrusted -limited edition- "Cheat Like A Tiger" super accurate Rolex!": said Moishe Pipick worldwide head of marketing and promotion for the Rolex timepiece corporation.

He went on: :When Tag Haur cancelled Tiger we were waiting in the wings -it's such an ideal sponsorship because 95% of Rolex owners are serious 'Cheaters" -and while Tag Haur has a 75% Cheating demographic -49% of their sales are generated from the wives who are being cheated on."

Furthermore he said " Tag Haur has a very high percentage of homo users who have always believed that Tiger was bisexual - and we have a sworn affidavit from Tiger purporting that he has never cheatred on his wife with a homo"

Pipick concluded: "Oh - and when you buy a "Cheat Like A Tiger" Rolex -you get a thirty percent reduction on the platinum with rubies " Ladies" Model Rolex" in case you want your mistress of the moment to enjoy a magnificent Holiday gift"

"Especially nice for Hanuckah" said Pipick - or even Purim"

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Brain Chemistry - Testosterone and Evolution + Babes

PSYCHOLOGY

His Cheating Brain

Why do powerful men risk everything for sex? It has to do with brain chemistry, evolution and, yes, testosterone.


Alpha males are high on testosterone, the hormone that underlies almost all the typical traits of the politico-sexual animal: high levels of testosterone make for a high sex drive, a love of risks, aggressiveness and competitiveness. "These people have a strong need to win at games, which is obviously important in power politics," says Zuckerman. Success sends their testosterone spiraling up, while a loss brings the levels down—a phenomenon that's been documented in the lab as well as in athletes and chess champions.

Women's testosterone levels also rise when there's competition on the line, but the actual act of winning—or, for that matter, losing—doesn't have any effect on the levels either way. It's the game, not the outcome, that makes the difference for women. Success, then, may not set them off-balance the same way. Evolutionary psychology also suggests that women leaders wouldn't be as likely as men to get caught in sex scandals. "Men and women play different roles in reproduction, so I don't think that you'd see the same kind of pattern where high-status women would be more likely to seek out lots and lots of men," says Daniel Kruger, a research scientist at the University of Michigan who has studied risk-taking behavior. "That's not going to really benefit them that much because they're limited in the number of children they could have." Men, on the other hand, have more of a biological imperative to spread their genes far and wide--the kind of privilege that often comes with being an alpha male.

Hungry for Power. Not everyone wants to be a high-profile politician. It takes, among other things, supreme confidence—the kind that may shade into egocentrism and lead to downfall. "For high-profile offices—we're not talking about the school board, but mayors, governors, senators, some members of Congress and the presidency—you have to have a kind of personality where you are very interested in yourself and your personal needs, as well as the needs of others," says John Gastil, a University of Washington political scientist. "When the gratification of your desire for social change becomes the justification for so much of what you do in your career, it's not a leap to then say, 'Well, my other desires and needs are equally justified.' You come up with elaborate justifications. 'Hey, 23 hours day I'm working hard for the people of New York. Time for a little me time!'"

Ironically, that kind of confidence is part of what appeals to voters. "We love charismatic people, the 'micro-messiahs'," says Gastil. "We favor the candidates who are already concerned with projecting certainty and power and strength—and we cultivate those characteristics in people. We want a little bit of that sense that these people are special and different. Does that go to their heads? Of course it does."

And then power has its own corrosive effects. A person who seeks out power may already be compromised. But once he's got that power, he may be tempted beyond anything he's experienced before. "We sometimes say, 'God, what do these people think, the rules don't apply to them?' Well, that's often true. They really do live in a different world from most of us," says Gastil. "Spitzer apparently had access to a service where you pay top dollar for exclusivity and discretion—one that most people don't have access to. Probably your average philanderer doesn't know such a company even exists." Remember the explanation Bill Clinton gave for his cheating: "I did something for the worst possible reason—just because I could."

As the saying goes, power is also an aphrodisiac—and that's been true, says Kruger, as long as humans have been around. "In our evolutionary history, men who had lots of resources and status and power were able to have more than one partner. Your body is basically saying if you have this power, you should use it, because that's what has worked before," he says. "Even in modern history, whether you're talking about medieval kings or sultans or rock stars, quite a few have multiple partners. So you're not so surprised to see this dynamic in politics today."

He Thinks He's Invincible. Bloggers and commenters have been floating the idea that Spitzer was subconsiously hoping to be caught. But that, at least, is one negative trait that psychologists hesitate to ascribe to him. "The idea of a death wish, that he was self-destructive—I don't think there's a shred of reason to believe that," says Farley.

Instead, the opposite may be true: not only was Spitzer hoping to get away with something, he honestly thought he'd be able to. "It does have an element of Greek tragedy to it. There's a certain amount of hubris that goes with getting to the top," says Gladue. "You think you're invincible. You just don't think it could happen to you." Until, of course, it does.

But basically it all boils down to "Hot Chicks" - oooweeee!


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Fox TV Announces "The Cheaters" Starring Tiger Woods

"His first guest will be Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina -and he and Tiger will discuss the power of "Hot Chicks" to pull a decent family loving man off the highroad of fidelity and onto the dark back roads in search of Hot Chicks and Babes"

So said Mike Schlocknell -president of Fox Reality TV and he continued: "Tiger will explore the "Cheating" issue on a worldwide platform with all it's societal and cultural implications -and he will have the greatest "Cheaters" on earth talking with him at exotic posh spots around the globe -and of course he will be surrounded by the "Hot Chicks" - and hopefully the gals left behind (who they replaced).

Tiger said: " I want to do this show to shed light on this difficult challenge to mostly powerful and rich men with a 36 waist or under - and to show that any man with "our" options to get "Hot Chicks" would go for the gold."

Schlocknell concluded the press conference: "Hey -this is gonna be a strong documentary dealing with the root causes of cheating and it's impact on descent god loving families -BUT -we gotta get folks to watch so their will be a lot of tits and ass and partying with Hot Chicks - kinda like the Rich and Famous-at loose on the town - cheating their rich and famous asses off!"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Tiger Will Leave Tour To Chase "Hot Chicks"

Tiger Woods said Friday he is taking an indefinite leave from golf to spend the next couple of years chasing "hot chics"

He announced ; "From the time i was two years old and continuing into adulthood the only thing my dad allowed me to focus on was golf -and i have been so deprived from casual sex with 'Hot chicks " that i am now out of control and i just need to "Shtup" my way out of this psychosis".

Dr Moishe Pipick -Wood's therapist said today:"Tiger is suffering from a serious case of APD (Acute Pussy Deprivation) -and the best way for him to return to a normal happy life is to Shtup every "Hot Chic" he can over the next two years."

Woods concluded "This going to be rough -but i was always good in the rough!"

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Ball Breaking Endangering National Security

Dr.Moishe Pipick -head biologist at The World
Biology Research Institute in Berne,Switzerland -announced today

":The size of male Gonads (balls) has been shrinking steadily in the major world democracies -especially in the USA - for two decades -and the diminished testosterone levels in men is now at a critical level"

Elise Mandelbaum -digibandit healthand science editor asked Dr. Pipick" What are the main causes of the Gonad shrinkage?

"First and foremost it is the increasing aggression in female behavior which is reversing Darwinian protocals in male development - and the commensurrate insecurity among men about their historical genealogical roles."

"So in plain English Doctor Pipick?" said Mandelbaum.

He replied; "Men are losing their balls because of female intimidation -nagging and general ball breaking behavior"

"And how does this impact on our national security in the USA?"

DR. Pipick responded; "Well -for one thing the military -and especially at the fighting man level is becoming less dynamic -especially when facing an enemy like the fascist moslems who have no concept of taking ANY crapola from a woman"

He continued; "Our studies show that Arab men have gonads that are .o567 centimeters larger than an American male -which translates into an 18 percent testosterone advantage"

"In simple terms - modern women are squeazing the grape (ball) juice out of modern men -and turning them into fucking wimps!"

Mandelbaum replied: "Iv'e noticed that with my husband Manny -is there any thing we women can do?".

Pipick answered "Stop breaking balls and nagging and acting cunty"

Monday, December 07, 2009

Pastor Rick Warren Guilty Of Genocide -From HIS Masturbation

What's that! - The Pastor who presided at Obama's inauguration - Who has the largest Christian Congregation on earth (The Saddleback Church)-Who wrote "The Purpose Driven Life" -which has outsold the Bible:

Guilty of genocide?--- Absolutely and here's why!

He told David Gregory on "Meet The Press" -- "There has been a genocide of sixty million souls - those who have been aborted since the Roe V Wade decision.

OK -so since Ricky equates a women's decision to have some microscopic cells scraped from her uterus- or the early growth of an embryo- both of which represent the "POTENTIAL" for human life - with genocidal murder:

I hence assume he believes that GOD is saying ""Uh Uh Don't fuck with MY zygotes - i gave you humans sperm and eggs and they are to be used for procreation only - or you are guilty of murder -- oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

Now for those of us who believe that "LIfe" begins when their is sentience and follow our ethical and moral precepts guided by medical science and common sense and with respect for a women's privacy - well - we are on a plane with Adolph Eichmann and Hitler et.al -and are killing little humans daily .(fortunately in the good ole USA as opposed to Saudi Arabia or even the USA prior to the separation of Church and State)) We heathens don't have to receive our morality direct from the tooth fairy)

Oh -and Ricky boy just stands there and preaches while genocide is occuring all around him - (kinda like the Church did during the lesser Holocaust of a mere six million Jews)

Anyway -back to Pastor Rick's complicity in personal genocidal homicide - BECAUSE - if destroying the POTENTIAL for life (as opposed to the secular view of when LIFE ACTUALLY begins) IS on a moral plain with "MURDER"- in the eyes of GOD -and as Pastor Ricky says :

THEN (ta da) - every time Rick Warren jerked off - he commited "MURDER"-according to the Bible and in the eyes of GOD!

As a million sperm cells carrying the potential for life flew onto his belly - Pastor Rick - Along with all the other murderous masturbating Christians - destroyed the potential for life in the eyes of god:

As surely as did the SS officer who shoved my Aunt Tanta and her three little girls into the ovens at Auswich)

So - first of all Ricky -YOU are going to HELL! -And secondly -you are going to the hottest part of HELL - Because you stood by and watched sixty million human beings being slaughtered since Roe V Wade and did shit!

Oh - and i won't even get into what St. Thomas Aquinas would say about when you good Christians become guilty of such genocide in the eyes of GOD - BUT FYI -It would be when you begin -in good conscience - to plan on how to frustrate the insemination process with your onerous anti ovulation trickery - Which is SO transparent to your God (and REALLY pisses him off)

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Nancy Pelosi Say's Hot Sex Is Positive Relief For Congress

House Chairwoman -Nancy Pelosi told digibandit White House Bureau Chief -Elise Mandelbaum:

"Look - these guys are besieged by hot pussy night and day -and with all the pressures that a guy like my friend Max Bauchus is under - especially fighting with those redneck Republicans over health care Reform ---- Who cares about him having a little fun with some hot chick?"

'But Madame Speaker" responded Ms. Mandelbaum "Would you have an affair with a young Congressional employee?"

Pelosi responded; "I should be so lucky - i didn't have these big Jugs of mine fixed so i could fuck some alta cocker in the Senate!"

"But what about your husband?" asked Mandelbaum-to which Pelosi answered:

"Look -My husband is a good looking multi-millionaire -with a big ego -And - he's probably going down on some young bimbo in his limo as we speak"

She went on; "Hey - it will be a very positive sign of women's political evolution when we start hearing about all the young cock they're getting up on Capitol Hill - Why should the old farts have all the fun -and the wonderful emotional release from all the bullshit we go through on a daily basis?"

Mandelbaum responded; 'But what about American's conservative values -and the Religious Right?"

" She concluded - are you kidding me -the biggest whoremasters on earth are those phony bible belters - fuckem all! -They are worthless!"

"I'm with you Madam Chairwoman"

EVERY Great Congressman Fucks Around -Face It!

They have power and money and influence and are married to mostly mature(older) women who they wish would not show up in their bedrooms (however infrequently)

They are surrounded by young hot (smart and exciting) gals who would like nothing more than to give them a great blow job under their desks at a moments notice -regardless of how fat and ugly they are.

Any man with enough drive and intellect and some testosterone left in his gonads will jump on these opportunities.

The ones that won't are not capable of dealing with the other maniacs they have to wrestle
with to help all of US survive.

Or - they are fucking some young male page in the Senate Cloakroom.

Personally i believe their should be a Congressional Harem - kinda like the Roman's had for their gladiators.

So the next time you read about a Max Bauchus humping some chic in his limo - rest assured it's good for all of us!

Who want's a horny Congressman or Senator fighting for our rights as descent folks just trying to make it through the night with our old worn out hags.

They're just doing what we would do in a heartbeat just for pleasure -WITHOUT helping the Country out in the process.

SO - GO MAX GO!

Senator Baucus Reveals Relationship With Woman He Nominated, A.P. Reports

A spokesman for Senator Max Baucus said the Montana Democrat
was in a romantic relationship with the woman he nominated
for U.S. attorney, the Associated Press reports.


It's Ok Max -Just keep fighting for health care reform -AND - Keep It Up!






Thursday, December 03, 2009

Elin Woods To Attend Ora Sexl Boot Camp -For Tiger

"I blame myself completely for Tiger's extra marital transgressions" Mrs. Woods tearfully confessed to digibandit reporter Elise Mandelbaun.

"He was just dying for some great head -and i denied him"

"Was he getting it from his girlfriend" Asked Mandelbaum.

"Oh yes -he told me she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

"Why didn't you step up to the plate -so to speak?" asked Mandelbaum.

"Well his thing was so big and black - it just looks like some kinda snake and it scared me!"

Mrs. Woods went on;"But in Oral Boot Camp they teach you how to deal with these things

"I'm going to the same one that Hillary Clinton graduated from - and she said it saved her marriage - and Bill doesn't cheat around anymore-BUT she graduated at the HEAD of her class

"I hope i can do well and i'm gonna suck my heart out tryin!"

"Best of luck" said Mandelbaum "Just keep your head down and do your best"


Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Tiger Woods Fled Nagging Wife That Night

Tiger's next door neighbor's heard his wife screaming; "Go ahead run you coward! - humping your wife like a stallion takes a lot more courage than driving a golf ball three hundred yards! Doesn't it?"

Woods' next door neighbors -Moyna and Moishe Pipick said "She is always ragging on him to love her the way he does his golfing But Saturday night Tiger had had enough of her crap -and he ran out and jumped in his Caddy and screamed

" My Momma was right about not marrying a honky bitch! -And i wouldn't fuck you with my caddie's dick!"

Moishe Pipick exclaimed"I heard her screaming that the only hole he cares about is on a golf green -And -that he better give her some "Long Driving" or she was gonna fuck the pool boy to death~"

"And then he smashed into the fire hydrant"


Pipick went on"I mean- is that any way to talk to such a menchy guy like Tiger?"

"Menchy schmenchy!" said Monya Pipick -"If you were gone night and day and didn't take care of MY needs - I would fuck your cousin Manny withb the big schlonger1`"

Moishe asked Monya "What BIG Schlonger?"

"The one his wife Elise is always bragging about!"

Well - you can always rely on the neighbors when the Cops and the Media can't get to the heart of the matter.