xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Mar 19, 2009

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Fox TV Announces "The Miss MiddleEast Contest - With Donald Trump

Fox TV president Moishe Pipick said at a press conference announcement in West Hollywood today:

“We sent Donnie to the Middle East after he came up with this idea of a programming extension of “The Miss America Contest” - And we were quite frankly very concerned as to the possibility of finding talent that was smart and had nice tits and legs and asses – because you never hear from or see any of the gals over there.”

He continued: ‘But the Donald assured us that he had seen some of the hottest women he has ever seen anywhere - in private clubs and exclusive whorehouses over there – and also felt that the show could help liberate the Muslim women and would even help the Israeli /Palestinian peace process.”

“Well boy did he come back with a bunch of hot Arab tomatoes!

"I mean - they make the Victoria Secret models look like Barbara Bush - No wonder those Muslims cover em up that way they do!”

Pipick concluded: “Anyway it’s gonna be a great show – and hopefully the beginning of a cultural breakthrough with the Arab Muslims – and their superhot women.”

“I’m already thinking – “The Desperate Housewives of Medina”

Pope Benedick Wacks Off WITHOUT A Condom -Says Priests

Pope Benedick Caught Wacking Off By Young Priests

In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outside the pussy he explained) --are sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!

Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!"

"They opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Pope Cum everywhere!"

"And he was NOt wearing a condom!"

So said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.

The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Sol" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Jew."

The Pope went on; "And we'll just see how well two lying pansy priests make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan." -- that comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community!

The digibandit Vatican reporter -Margo Macaroni was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"

We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Satire."