California’s prisons are at nearly double capacity, and a three-judge panel could order the state to release tens of thousands of prisoners
The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.
Well --not only should the USA establish a "Criminal Military Corp" as recommended in my previous blogs - But - since we would have so many criminals left over ( who are unfit for combat) -- let's just sell them!:
Moishe Pipick, head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- Why not our huge and growing prison population?"
He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"
He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."
"We are talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer here - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."
He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."
Outsourcing is a beautiful thing! - And outsourcing and getting paid for it --is a no brainer!
at 11:21 AM
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Constipation - Sexual Repression and God
A toxic psychocombo which generates the demented frustrated profile of most Priests and Nuns - A cadre of psychos preying (a pun) on helpless children.
A LIVING organism is defined by it's ability to absorb nutrition/energy - dispose of it as waste matter - and to reproduce.
Priests and Nuns eat that crap bread they make and tons of potatoes (especially in Ireland - and they don't fuck .
So - on top of being constantly constipated and totally frustrated -as their brains scream for release - "A good dump please!" - "Some sex please!" - and absolutely convinced of their moral authority - it's:
"Let's kick the shit out of these nasty little future shitters and humpers!"
And while we have known for a long time that an Altar Boy in the good ole USA is nothing but a warm butthole to these "Men of God" - we now have some interesting news from the Emerald Isle - bastion of Roman Catholicism since St. Patrick first arrived in search of souls and buttholes.
For a milennium the poor beleaguered Irish - fucked over by every tribe who found the Celts easy pickings - sent their weakest and most doctrinely malleable offspring off into the bosom of their beloved church.
And those constipated and sexually repressed and blindly faithful servants of god grew up - and proceeded to torment the helpless little children in their care - for centuries!
And the church and the Irish authorities looked the other way.
So let's dedicate next St. Patricks day to all those poor little boys and girls who got fucked over by god's holy messengers:
And let's all pray that this ignorant asshole of a fucking Pope Benedick dies while trying to take a shit while jerking off.
A LIVING organism is defined by it's ability to absorb nutrition/energy - dispose of it as waste matter - and to reproduce.
Priests and Nuns eat that crap bread they make and tons of potatoes (especially in Ireland - and they don't fuck .
So - on top of being constantly constipated and totally frustrated -as their brains scream for release - "A good dump please!" - "Some sex please!" - and absolutely convinced of their moral authority - it's:
"Let's kick the shit out of these nasty little future shitters and humpers!"
And while we have known for a long time that an Altar Boy in the good ole USA is nothing but a warm butthole to these "Men of God" - we now have some interesting news from the Emerald Isle - bastion of Roman Catholicism since St. Patrick first arrived in search of souls and buttholes.
For a milennium the poor beleaguered Irish - fucked over by every tribe who found the Celts easy pickings - sent their weakest and most doctrinely malleable offspring off into the bosom of their beloved church.
And those constipated and sexually repressed and blindly faithful servants of god grew up - and proceeded to torment the helpless little children in their care - for centuries!
And the church and the Irish authorities looked the other way.
So let's dedicate next St. Patricks day to all those poor little boys and girls who got fucked over by god's holy messengers:
And let's all pray that this ignorant asshole of a fucking Pope Benedick dies while trying to take a shit while jerking off.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Oral Sex Surges During Recession -And OSD Divorces
"Men who report getting a blow job for the first time - and men who get blown more than five times a week are reporting dramatic breakthroughs in their oral sex lives.
And women who have never had a tongue in their pussy's - and women who are being eaten more than three times a week are also reporting dramatically new action."
So sayeth Dr. Moishe Pipick - head researcher at the Institute of Sexual Research in Berne , Switzerland. -- He continued:
"And butt hole stimulation - both with mechanical devices, and with the tongue - is jumping right off the chart!"
Elise Mandelbaum - digital lifestyle reporter - asked Dr. Pipick: "Doctor - is it possible that the world wide recession is having positive cultural effects through this apparent relaxation of repressed sexual attitudes - and where people are finding pleasure in non spending behavior?"
"Absolutely!" said Dr. Pipick; " I mean -it costs nothing to lick your mates asshole or balls - and it boosts the immune system -and it produces filial and familial harmony -and we have happier and better adjusted children
And a whole cascade of positive socio/cultural benefits!"
"Can you see any downside to all this sucking and licky loving?" -Asked Ms. Mandelbaum.
"Yes - said the Doctor - those who are not getting their quotient of this powerful form of sensitive contact - will seek it elsewhere - so we expect to see a dramatic increase in folks filing for divorce based on;
"Oral sex deprivation" - Or OSD
And women who have never had a tongue in their pussy's - and women who are being eaten more than three times a week are also reporting dramatically new action."
So sayeth Dr. Moishe Pipick - head researcher at the Institute of Sexual Research in Berne , Switzerland. -- He continued:
"And butt hole stimulation - both with mechanical devices, and with the tongue - is jumping right off the chart!"
Elise Mandelbaum - digital lifestyle reporter - asked Dr. Pipick: "Doctor - is it possible that the world wide recession is having positive cultural effects through this apparent relaxation of repressed sexual attitudes - and where people are finding pleasure in non spending behavior?"
"Absolutely!" said Dr. Pipick; " I mean -it costs nothing to lick your mates asshole or balls - and it boosts the immune system -and it produces filial and familial harmony -and we have happier and better adjusted children
And a whole cascade of positive socio/cultural benefits!"
"Can you see any downside to all this sucking and licky loving?" -Asked Ms. Mandelbaum.
"Yes - said the Doctor - those who are not getting their quotient of this powerful form of sensitive contact - will seek it elsewhere - so we expect to see a dramatic increase in folks filing for divorce based on;
"Oral sex deprivation" - Or OSD
For Majority of Terrorists It's A Great Job Stupid
" Ninety seven percent of these ignorant assholes are just illiterate victims of a culture where there is no fun - no art - no sexy women (because they have all been marginalized into human burlap bags) -
No opportunity - it's hot and dirty all the time - no toilet paper - no stuff to buy (including food) - no booze - and no doctors or medicine or soap - ydadadaddadaadda.
Their life completely sucks!
So - some pathological brainwashed from birth Al Quaeda scumbag comes along - and all of a sudden - this lost piece of human debris shitbag has a gun and power - is given three square meals - get's instant status - and maybe even some toilet paper.
A chimpanzee running around with guns and bombs -who believes he's god's right hand man - who never had so much fun until he became a jihadist - killing and maiming at will - and wiping his ass with charmin instead of his hand.
And - ninety percent of the semi normal world is sitting around wondering if they should join the fight against these rabid creatures - on their home ground - Afghanistan?
I mean - some douche bag is sitting in a cafe in Norway (or wherever) eating a sardine and wondering about the human cost of conflict -and civilian casualties and Abu Graib and torture - and maybe there's a holistic approach to all this horrible stuff?
Hey - these fucking jihadists are out there working hard at the best job they ever had or ever will have - don't you fucking get it?
It's now or never. - Let's kill all these fuckers as fast as possible - Or give them better jobs - or at least a good ole fashioned - European style -- state of the art - blow job.
No opportunity - it's hot and dirty all the time - no toilet paper - no stuff to buy (including food) - no booze - and no doctors or medicine or soap - ydadadaddadaadda.
Their life completely sucks!
So - some pathological brainwashed from birth Al Quaeda scumbag comes along - and all of a sudden - this lost piece of human debris shitbag has a gun and power - is given three square meals - get's instant status - and maybe even some toilet paper.
A chimpanzee running around with guns and bombs -who believes he's god's right hand man - who never had so much fun until he became a jihadist - killing and maiming at will - and wiping his ass with charmin instead of his hand.
And - ninety percent of the semi normal world is sitting around wondering if they should join the fight against these rabid creatures - on their home ground - Afghanistan?
I mean - some douche bag is sitting in a cafe in Norway (or wherever) eating a sardine and wondering about the human cost of conflict -and civilian casualties and Abu Graib and torture - and maybe there's a holistic approach to all this horrible stuff?
Hey - these fucking jihadists are out there working hard at the best job they ever had or ever will have - don't you fucking get it?
It's now or never. - Let's kill all these fuckers as fast as possible - Or give them better jobs - or at least a good ole fashioned - European style -- state of the art - blow job.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Gays Should Be Free To Enlist and Fight But (oops)
When Marine Staff Seargent Lon McCracken returns to the barracks after surviving another deadly day on tour in Afghanistan:
He puts down his gear and staggers into the shower - exhausted and edgy and sore as hell from chasing Talibani fighters up big mountains all day in the heat:
And as he turns on the water he hears from the next shower stall:
"Oh Manny - oh Manny - ooh - ahhh - i love it! -OOH i love it - but please Ernie -for gods sake - use some more soap - your dick is practically in my colon -- ooh -- ooh:
At this point seargent Mc Cracken has grabbed his bayonet and in about three seconds Manny and Ernie are going to get some radical surgery.
I mean - the two fags are just doing what comes naturally -and personally i don't care if a guy gets a blow job while shooting his machine gun at the enemy (as long as it doesn't affect his aim):
But - a lot of those southern crackers who make up about ninety five percent of the military are going to be a bit annoyed at seeing their comrades getting butt fucked and sucked off all over the battlefield and baracks.
Oh - and god forbid if the homos start ass fucking the enemy -oye vey!
This is a very thorny issue - because if the ignorant rednecks stop enlisting - we won't have enough infantry left to invade newfoundland.
It's kinda hard (oops) to cornhole your fagot buddy with "Don't Ask Don't Tell"
It's very telling.
He puts down his gear and staggers into the shower - exhausted and edgy and sore as hell from chasing Talibani fighters up big mountains all day in the heat:
And as he turns on the water he hears from the next shower stall:
"Oh Manny - oh Manny - ooh - ahhh - i love it! -OOH i love it - but please Ernie -for gods sake - use some more soap - your dick is practically in my colon -- ooh -- ooh:
At this point seargent Mc Cracken has grabbed his bayonet and in about three seconds Manny and Ernie are going to get some radical surgery.
I mean - the two fags are just doing what comes naturally -and personally i don't care if a guy gets a blow job while shooting his machine gun at the enemy (as long as it doesn't affect his aim):
But - a lot of those southern crackers who make up about ninety five percent of the military are going to be a bit annoyed at seeing their comrades getting butt fucked and sucked off all over the battlefield and baracks.
Oh - and god forbid if the homos start ass fucking the enemy -oye vey!
This is a very thorny issue - because if the ignorant rednecks stop enlisting - we won't have enough infantry left to invade newfoundland.
It's kinda hard (oops) to cornhole your fagot buddy with "Don't Ask Don't Tell"
It's very telling.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
America Is One Demagogue Away From Revolution
Bob Herbert's op ed piece in the NY Times today stated:
Mr. Mishel has been trying to call attention to the human toll caused by job losses on this vast scale. The institute estimates that the poverty rate for children is in danger of increasing from 18 percent, which is where it was in 2007, the last year for which complete statistics are available, to a scary 27.3 percent in 2010.
For black children, you don’t want to know. But I’ll tell you anyway. The poverty rate for black kids was 34.5 percent in 2007. If the national unemployment rate rises, as expected, to the vicinity of 10 percent next year, the poverty rate for black children would rise to 50 percent or higher, analysts at the institute believe.
That would be a profound tragedy.
We already know that children are being harmed in families hammered by job losses, home foreclosures and the myriad stresses that grip families trying to cope with economic reversals. Dr. Irwin Redlener, president of the Children’s Health Fund and a professor at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, has referred to these youngsters as the “recession generation,” and has described what is happening to them as “a quiet disaster.”
This is a prescription for massive social disruption - and it can take off as fast as those wildfires in California.
All it will take is someone who can galvanize that cauldron of misery out there in an America brought to economic ruin by the actions of greedy and rapacious AND non repentent capitalists gone wild.
And then - it's pitchforks and torches time - all across this sick land.
Mr. Mishel has been trying to call attention to the human toll caused by job losses on this vast scale. The institute estimates that the poverty rate for children is in danger of increasing from 18 percent, which is where it was in 2007, the last year for which complete statistics are available, to a scary 27.3 percent in 2010.
For black children, you don’t want to know. But I’ll tell you anyway. The poverty rate for black kids was 34.5 percent in 2007. If the national unemployment rate rises, as expected, to the vicinity of 10 percent next year, the poverty rate for black children would rise to 50 percent or higher, analysts at the institute believe.
That would be a profound tragedy.
We already know that children are being harmed in families hammered by job losses, home foreclosures and the myriad stresses that grip families trying to cope with economic reversals. Dr. Irwin Redlener, president of the Children’s Health Fund and a professor at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, has referred to these youngsters as the “recession generation,” and has described what is happening to them as “a quiet disaster.”
This is a prescription for massive social disruption - and it can take off as fast as those wildfires in California.
All it will take is someone who can galvanize that cauldron of misery out there in an America brought to economic ruin by the actions of greedy and rapacious AND non repentent capitalists gone wild.
And then - it's pitchforks and torches time - all across this sick land.
Star Shit Becomes Latest Collector Craze
Hollywood Septic Tank Cleaner Scores Big With Star Shit
Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by Creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills:
"Yep -- it's true! - iv'e been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and catalogued their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the shit my ancestors have saved -- we have been in the septic business since the early days of Hollywood"--
He continued; "My Grandfather,Johnny Bigdump, always kept a bowl of Tonto's shit in the living room. (Lone Ranger's sidekick for younger readers)"
Moishe Pipick,head of liscencing for CAA said; "-- How much will people pay for an original John Wayne dump or a freshly minted Brad and Angela,or for a beauty from say lacey Chabert? -The skys the limit!"
The Hollywood Reporter blared "There's Gold In Them Thar Hills"- Star Shit gold in the Hollywood Hills that is - and it reported that septic tank wars have erupted in Memphis as a Shit Gold Rush has created a frenzy to obtain the Holy Grail of turds -- a blast from the King himself.
CAA announced yesterday; "Christy's elite auction house will be the exclusive seller of the Star Shit " and Arnold Grimey, head auctioneer at Christy's said today ;
"An authenticated Star Shit could sell for more than a Picasso -- a penultimate statement about American culture!"
And the Bandit has it on good authority that entrepreneurial gynecologists in LA may have been stockpiling "Star Sperm" -- what is next? -- stay tuned!
(copyright lawyers should have a field day as well as firms who will be rushing to install secure shit facilities).
Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by Creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills:
"Yep -- it's true! - iv'e been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and catalogued their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the shit my ancestors have saved -- we have been in the septic business since the early days of Hollywood"--
He continued; "My Grandfather,Johnny Bigdump, always kept a bowl of Tonto's shit in the living room. (Lone Ranger's sidekick for younger readers)"
Moishe Pipick,head of liscencing for CAA said; "-- How much will people pay for an original John Wayne dump or a freshly minted Brad and Angela,or for a beauty from say lacey Chabert? -The skys the limit!"
The Hollywood Reporter blared "There's Gold In Them Thar Hills"- Star Shit gold in the Hollywood Hills that is - and it reported that septic tank wars have erupted in Memphis as a Shit Gold Rush has created a frenzy to obtain the Holy Grail of turds -- a blast from the King himself.
CAA announced yesterday; "Christy's elite auction house will be the exclusive seller of the Star Shit " and Arnold Grimey, head auctioneer at Christy's said today ;
"An authenticated Star Shit could sell for more than a Picasso -- a penultimate statement about American culture!"
And the Bandit has it on good authority that entrepreneurial gynecologists in LA may have been stockpiling "Star Sperm" -- what is next? -- stay tuned!
(copyright lawyers should have a field day as well as firms who will be rushing to install secure shit facilities).
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Celebrities Who Will Sell Their Pubic Hair For Israel
In addition to the celebrities listed below - Mr. and Mrs. Chabert (lacey's mom and dad) and her grandparents and five cousins and her boyfriend Moishe Pipick (a jewish dentist) - all will sell some pubic hair to raise money for the Jewish Defense Fund (in preparation for Israel upcoming attack on Iran's nuclear facilities):
:Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne-------B--------Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields-------C--------Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox-------D--------Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*-------E--------Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly-------F--------Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie-------G-------Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow-------H-------Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank-------I-------Isaiah Washington-------J-------Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers-------K-------Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell-------L--------Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu-------M-------*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena-------N-------Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox-------P-------Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo-------R-------Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe-------S-------Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin-------T-------T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer-------U-------Uma Thurman-------V-------Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen-------W-------Will Smith William Shatner-------Y-------Yasmine Bleeth-------Z-------Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanelat 2:47 PMat 9:34 AM
at 3:01 PM
:Adam Sandler Aishwarya Rai Alana De La Garza Ali Landry Ali Larter Alicia Silverstone Alyson Hannigan Alyssa Milano Amanda Bynes Amanda Peet Amy Adams Amy Jo Johnson Amy Lee Amy Smart Angelina Jolie Angie Harmon Anna Faris Anna Kournikova Arielle Kebbel Ashlee Simpson Ashley Judd Ashley Scott Ashley Tisdale Autumn Reeser Avril Lavigne-------B--------Beyonce Knowles Brad Pitt Brea Grant Bridget Fonda Bridgette Wilson*Britney Spears* Brittany Murphy Brittany Snow Brooke Burns Brooke Shields-------C--------Cameron Diaz Carrie Anne Moss Cassie Ventura Catherine Zeta Jones Chandra Wilson Charisma Carpenter Charlize Theron Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina Ricci Claire Forlani Claudia Schiffer Colleen Haskell Constance Marie Courteney Cox-------D--------Dakota Fanning Deanna Russo Demi Moore Denise Richards Diane Lane Diora Baird Drea De Matteo*Drew Barrymore*-------E--------Elisha Cuthbert Eliza Dushku Elizabeth Hurley Elizabeth Shue Ellen Pompeo Elsa Benitez Emily Procter Emma Watson Emmy Rossum Eric Dane Erica Durance Estella Warren Eva Longoria Eva Mendes Evangeline Lilly-------F--------Faith Hill Felicity Huffman Fergie-------G-------Gabrielle Union Gena Lee Nolin Gillian Anderson Goldie Hawn Gwyneth Paltrow-------H-------Halle Berry*Hayden Panettiere* Heather Graham Heather Locklear Heidi Klum Helen Hunt Hilary Duff Hilary Swank-------I-------Isaiah Washington-------J-------Jaime Pressly James Pickens Jr Jenna Fischer Jennie Finch Jennie Garth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Connelly Jennifer Garner Jennifer Lopez*Jennifer Love Hewitt* Jennifer Morrison Jenny McCarthy Jeri Ryan Jessica Alba Jessica Biel Jessica Simpson Jordana Brewster Josie Maran Jude Law Jules Asner Julia Roberts Julia Stiles Justin Chambers-------K-------Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Kate Walsh Kate Winslet Katee Sackhoff Katherine Heigl Katie Holmes Keira Knightley Kelly Carlson Kelly Clarkson Kelly Preston Kelly Ripa Keri Russell Kiley Dean Kim Basinger Kirsten Dunst Krista Allen Kristanna Loken Kristen Bell Kristin Kreuk Kurt Russell-------L--------Lacey Chabert Laetitia Casta Laura Linney Lea Thompson Leah Remini Leelee Sobieski Leila Arcieri Lindsay Lohan Lucy Lawless Lucy Liu-------M-------*Madonna* Majandra Delfino Mandy Moore Marcy Rylan Marg Helgenberger Mariah Carey*Marisa Miller* Masi Oka Masiela Lusha Meg Ryan Melissa Hart Mena Suvari Michelle Pfeiffer Michelle Rodriguez Michelle Ryan Mike Myers Miley Ray Cyrus*Minka Kelly* Mischa Barton Missy Peregrym Molly Sims Monica Keena-------N-------Nadine Velazquez Natalie Portman Natascha McElhone Neve Campbell Nicolas Cage Nicole Eggert Nicole Kidman Nicollette Sheridan Nikki Cox-------P-------Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Patricia Heaton Patrick Dempsey Penelope Cruz Petra Nemcova Phoebe Cates Piper Perabo-------R-------Rachael Leigh Cook Rachel Bilson Raquel Alessi Rashida Jones Rebecca Romijn-Stamos Rebecca Saint James Reese Witherspoon Renee Zellweger Robin Williams Roselyn Sanchez Russell Crowe-------S-------Salma Hayek Sandra Bullock Sandra Oh Sara Paxton Sara Ramirez Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Silverman Scarlett Johansson Shakira Shannon Elizabeth Sharon Stone Sigourney Weaver Steve Martin-------T-------T.R. Knight Tara Reid Tea Leoni Teri Hatcher Thora Birch Tiffani Amber Thiessen Tim Allen Tina Fey Tobey Maguire Tom Cruise Tommy Lee Jones Tori Spelling Tricia Helfer-------U-------Uma Thurman-------V-------Valerie Bertinelli Vanessa Angel Vanessa Anne Hudgens Vanessa Ferlito Vanessa Paradis Vanessa Williams Victoria Beckham Vin Diesel Virginia Madsen-------W-------Will Smith William Shatner-------Y-------Yasmine Bleeth-------Z-------Zachary Quinto Zoe Bell Zooey Deschanelat 2:47 PMat 9:34 AM
at 3:01 PM
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Lacey Chabert and "Mean Girls" Return In "Mean Wet Pussy"
Fox searchlight announced it is releasing "Mean Wet Pussy" for Christmas 09'.
Starring Lacey Chabert Written by (and co-starring) Tina Fey, the film features a supporting cast of Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert, and Lizzy Caplan. The film also features several Saturday Night Live cast members, including Fey, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer, and Amy Poehler - Lindsey Lohan.
The movie is about a group of women who use their pussy's to capture torture and ultimately kill Islamic terrorists.
"It's like a mix of - "Charlie's Angels" and all those really cool movies that deal with rubbing out the Islamofascists" said Moishe Pipick - head of Foxlight Studios"
"Only these gals use their wet pussies as their primary weapon -and boy are they destructive."
Christopher Walken who plays Udi Nacksun - an Israeli counter intelligence general who is in charge of the team of pussies (along with his aide Colonel Elise Mandelbaum of Mossad - played by Penelope Cruz) - said in an interview yesterday:
"These girls are so horrifying - in what they do to these Islamists with their mean wet pussies -that i couldn't even get a hard on looking at Penelope's magnificent tits."
And Lacey Chabert commented; "I had no idea a wet pussy could be that dangerous and powerful !"
Well Lacey -that's something we guys have known for a long time now.
Starring Lacey Chabert Written by (and co-starring) Tina Fey, the film features a supporting cast of Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert, and Lizzy Caplan. The film also features several Saturday Night Live cast members, including Fey, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer, and Amy Poehler - Lindsey Lohan.
The movie is about a group of women who use their pussy's to capture torture and ultimately kill Islamic terrorists.
"It's like a mix of - "Charlie's Angels" and all those really cool movies that deal with rubbing out the Islamofascists" said Moishe Pipick - head of Foxlight Studios"
"Only these gals use their wet pussies as their primary weapon -and boy are they destructive."
Christopher Walken who plays Udi Nacksun - an Israeli counter intelligence general who is in charge of the team of pussies (along with his aide Colonel Elise Mandelbaum of Mossad - played by Penelope Cruz) - said in an interview yesterday:
"These girls are so horrifying - in what they do to these Islamists with their mean wet pussies -that i couldn't even get a hard on looking at Penelope's magnificent tits."
And Lacey Chabert commented; "I had no idea a wet pussy could be that dangerous and powerful !"
Well Lacey -that's something we guys have known for a long time now.
Friday, May 01, 2009
CIA Replaces Water Boarding With Nagging Jewish Wives
Muslims treat their women like dogs! - As a result they have NO idea how viscious a nagging wife can be -especially a good old fashioned average "American Nagging Wife"(i don't include girlfriend nagging (just as viscious) because Muslims don't have girlfriends.
That would imply courtship and options for the women,
So you put a suspected Arab terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging American wife and they will be screaming; "Hey - no fair - i was supposed to get waterboarded - please Allah - kill me -please stop her! -ok ok the bomb maker is....."
Oh - and that's just your average run of the mill American nagging wife, For really hard cases we bring in maybe a Jewish wife whose husband hasn't touched her in five years because she gained ninety pounds since the wedding and all he hears after a sixteen hour day in the jewelry exchange is:
"Morris -you failure -you weak piece of shit -where have you been =I'm late for mahjong - i should have married Abe - he's a doctor -he lives in Scarsdale - he still has hair ......."
Well - you know the drill. - You put this viscious nagging Jewess in a room with Al Zaweirdi - he'll give you Osama's address and private telephone number in twenty minutes -maybe less?
Remember -these lucky Jihadi dogs have NEVER been nagged by a woman -- If a Muslim woman were to say even;
"Mamood - i think maybe you should tale a bath -it's been six months -whaddya think?" - then - in the morning she would be in the town square trying to dodge an avalanche of stones -andd that would be a relief after what Mamood would put her through -and the children too.
How about:"Mamood -you stinky failure of a shit husband - you weak hunk of crap - why don't you DO Something - why don't we ever go out -why don't you touch me - you worm - where have you been - your friends are all you care about - you eat too much - lose some weight -for God's sake get a raise - turn off the ball game - help with the children - what's wrong with you - see a psychiatrist ......"
At this point Mamood would be writing down the location of every Mosque in Sadr City with munitions in it -and then he'd eagerly rat out his son and his brothers.C'mon you CIA guys - give it a try - you know I'm right - use one of YOUR wives.
That would imply courtship and options for the women,
So you put a suspected Arab terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging American wife and they will be screaming; "Hey - no fair - i was supposed to get waterboarded - please Allah - kill me -please stop her! -ok ok the bomb maker is....."
Oh - and that's just your average run of the mill American nagging wife, For really hard cases we bring in maybe a Jewish wife whose husband hasn't touched her in five years because she gained ninety pounds since the wedding and all he hears after a sixteen hour day in the jewelry exchange is:
"Morris -you failure -you weak piece of shit -where have you been =I'm late for mahjong - i should have married Abe - he's a doctor -he lives in Scarsdale - he still has hair ......."
Well - you know the drill. - You put this viscious nagging Jewess in a room with Al Zaweirdi - he'll give you Osama's address and private telephone number in twenty minutes -maybe less?
Remember -these lucky Jihadi dogs have NEVER been nagged by a woman -- If a Muslim woman were to say even;
"Mamood - i think maybe you should tale a bath -it's been six months -whaddya think?" - then - in the morning she would be in the town square trying to dodge an avalanche of stones -andd that would be a relief after what Mamood would put her through -and the children too.
How about:"Mamood -you stinky failure of a shit husband - you weak hunk of crap - why don't you DO Something - why don't we ever go out -why don't you touch me - you worm - where have you been - your friends are all you care about - you eat too much - lose some weight -for God's sake get a raise - turn off the ball game - help with the children - what's wrong with you - see a psychiatrist ......"
At this point Mamood would be writing down the location of every Mosque in Sadr City with munitions in it -and then he'd eagerly rat out his son and his brothers.C'mon you CIA guys - give it a try - you know I'm right - use one of YOUR wives.
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