xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Jun 12, 2009

Friday, June 12, 2009

Mormons Make Great Vacuum Cleaner Salesmen

OAK BROOK, Ill. — Six days a week, in fair weather and foul, two-dozen door-to-door salesmen, all of whom live clustered together in an apartment complex in this suburb west of Chicago, pile into S.U.V.’s and cars and head into the big city, bent on sales of vacuum cleaners and home security systems.

And on Sunday, their one day off, they drive together to the nearest house of worship of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The salesmen are mostly former Mormon missionaries from Utah who cut their teeth — and learned their people-skill chops — cold-calling for their faith.

Joseph Tummerhays - A portly Mormon said; " Hell - after trying to sell the weird shit that we believe in - to folks who weren't indoctrinated from birth into it? - Well - Selling a security system to a guy whose house is being foreclosed -- is easy!"

He went on; "I would rather sell condoms to a crack head pimp than try and sell that stuff from our bible with Moroni and the gold plates and all that wacky shit - i mean - they been telling me to BELIEVE that stuff since i was born - and even i think they got some screws loose."

"But - i do love that i will be able to have several wives - i mean - marriage usually stinks - but we get a real break in that area."

"How about a nice Eureka? - it's got a biblical sound to it."