xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Jesus Christ Should Have Been Aborted -- Not Crucified

And there would be about three hundred million happy indiginous people playing with their children in the sun today instead of having been tortured and butchered by missionaries of the Church spreading the Gospel in the name of JesusChrist.

And if you add up all the men women and children who died screaming in agony due to the pious and righteous and ignorant human animals who maimed and slaughtered in the name of their one and only- absolutely true God, and his son - well, Jesus Christ - you have the spiritual equivalent of the bubonic plague on steroids.

And the Church helped manage and manipulate and exploit this slaughter in the name of a peaceful and loving preacher who came bearing a revolutionary message of hope and salvation.

And this is what happens EVERY time the Priests get to call the shots! Judges with ONE law book written by a God who only they understand and who they represent exclusively. You sign on or you get burned at the stake! ( oh -and if your'e a hot innocent altar boy you get fucked in the ass for fun)

Happy Easter

(and try living with the questions for a change)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

NOTHING Beats A High Priced Hooker - Spitzer Rules

The most sexual and gorgeous woman you have ever dreamed about arrives at your home -- she performs sex acts that will make your wife or girl friend forever seem like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh - and here's the best part:

SHE LEAVES!

So - let's get real about all this flap with Eliot Spitzer - it doesn't mean a fucking thing except he had the desire and the money and an ugly nagging wife.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Hillary Clinton Should Air THIS Commercial

Hillary is sitting in her sun garden at her home in Chappaqua,N.Y and as she looks dreamily out the window we hear her voice.

"You know -when the proof first came out that Bill had been blown by Monica Lewinsky i was devastated - i felt that because i hadn't fucked him for ten years that maybe I was to blame for his indiscretion and subsequent humiliation and impeachment.

She pets her doggy and looks wistfully out into the evening shade- and her inner voice continues." But i soon came to understand that it was just Willie's wicked sexual nature and that i should redirect my energies into trying to make the world a better place - to run for the Senate -establish a positive record and then maybe make a run at the Presidency?"

She wipes a tear from her eye and looks directly into the camera staring like a doe caught in the headlights -and her voice - gathering strength - proclaims..

"And no twerpy black "snake oil" change salesman, pushing a pile of generality laden horseshit is going to stop me from becoming the next President!"

I'm Hillary Clinton and i approved this message.

Stay tuned because I've got some effective commercials for ALL the candidates

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Obama's Position On Iraq War Vote Proved That He's A Pussy

NO responsible person should have denied authorization for the president to attack Iraq because:

Saddam could certainly have possessed WMD - - past evidence of stockpiles was established - and he never came clean and opened up to full inspections.

He was an established pathological nut case who had used poison gas on the Kurds - had recently invaded Kuwait and reaped untold havoc on it's people and the environment and then repeatedly violated his surrender agreements.

Saddam hated America and had enormous resources with which to enable world terrorism at a time when the Twin Towers were still smoking.

He ran Iraq like Caligula - there was no way we could assume he was NOT an existential threat to the United States -and who the hell could believe he was bluffing about his self avowed WMD capabilities?

That is why almost the entire Congress -the Military and the Media and most Pundits and thinking people with balls - were in lock step about the need for military intervention.

Yes -the the overall strategy for occupation was a naive fuckup! - In retrospect we should have worked with the Bathists to manage the political realities - instead of unleashing the Shiites who are mostly fucking religious morons AND who hate us for freeing them from Saddam - under whom they couldn't take a shit without asking permission.

BUT - weak kneed liberals like Obama have NEVER thought it necessary to have to kill maniacs and inflict collateral damage in the interests of American survival. And that includes the whole fucking cold war!

Obama is a pussy - and McCaine would eat him for breakfast in the general election!

Monday, March 03, 2008

God Must be Hispanic If he Named His Only Son Jesus

Wow - i just realized that God has to be Hispanic!

I mean - otherwise he would have named his only kid God Junior or at least some common name of those times- like Joshua or Peter or Moishe -any thing but Jesus(unless he was Hispanic).

What made me think of this was i was watching the Los Angeles marathon yesterday and at least fifty percent of the people had to be Hispanic -and at least fifty percent of them were named Jesus - and i says to myself; "Wow -these guys all look like Jesus Christ - and God gave him that name -and that was not a common name -so God had to be Hispanic."

Wow! -- can you imagine what God is thinking about all these religious conservatives and white nativists who are bashing these poor illegal immigrants - who are his Hispanic brothers and sisters?

And - i bet that the Hispanics -not the Jews -are Gods chosen people. You notice he didn't name Moses - Jesus.

And -the true bible story must be that he cast out the Hispanics from the United States and let the Gringos (like the Egyptians with the Hebrews)) enslave them because they were being bad -but now he is letting them back into their promised land.

And for three thousand years the Jews have been selling the story about Canaan and being cast out and all that Pharaoh stuff just so they could look like the chosen people and get all that promotion -when the Hispanics -led by Gods Hispanic son Jesus - were the chosen people all along.

Well - as Mencken said; "Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing"

But -maybe God IS Jewish but has a pushy Hispanic wife. (you notice i didn't say cunty)