xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Apr 12, 2008

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Welcome Pope Benedick -You Masturbating Hypocrite

In honor of the Pope's visit to America - here's a repeat of a past bandidt exclusive which received wide international acclaim (we were hoping for a Pulitzer - but alas):



Exclusive -- In a display of hypocrisy rare even for the leader of the Catholic Church, The Pope, shortly after announcing that; "People who fornicate with condoms or practice rhythm or masturbate or "pullout" (withdrawing the penis and ejaculating outsida the vagina) --are Sinners and will be denied God's grace." -- was caught hiding in a Vatican confessional chamber where he was jerking off!



Two young Priests were walking hand in hand past the chanber when they heard muffled cries in German; "Oye mine Gutt - mmm --ooh -- aaah -- vey is mir -Jesus fucking Mary and Christ -- Gevalt!"



They opened the sacred chamber and found the Pope slumped in the corner with a pair of panties dangling from his teeth -- "and there was Popa Cum everywhere!" said the Priests who have been reassigned to Missionary work among the tribal regions of Afghanistan, where their mission is to convert Pashtun tribal chiefs and Muslim warlords to Christianity.



The Pope denied the accusations; " The Bible clearly states in Fairy Tale number three,verse twelve, Book one of 'The Gospel of Bugs Bunny" -- that, 'Thou shalt not spill thy seed upon the ground or on the face of a whore, or in the mouth of a faggot, or within one hundred yards of a Kike or Negro or Protestant or Gypsy."



He continued, "And we'll see how well those two lying pansies make out with the Muslim hillbillies in Afghanistan."



That comment ought to get a rise (pun) out of the worldwide Muslim community.



The digibandit Vatican reporter Sherl Momsavitch was asked, off the record, by Vatican press chief Cardinal Guido Morioni -- "Is nothing sacred to you New York hebe motherfuckers?"



We officially replied, "Yes -- Truth and Justice and Vulgar Satire."



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