xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

At Last - "The Onion WITH Balls!" - welkum

  kum visit this happy "Onion With Balls" blogland where redneck politicians and christian redneck morons and tv offerings for the mentally impaired and demagoguing (A leader who obtains power by means of impassioned appeals to the emotions and prejudices of the populace/rabble) -hence rabble rousers.) are treated like the ignorant assholes which they are -  and where a virulent policy of disdain for all things religious and gun related and where intolerance is not tolerated - rules the day AND where those who misguide and mistreat dogs and children are hung out to dry and wither in the sunshine of reason logic -science understanding and compassion AND where vulgarity is not restrained but emoted out of frustration and for punctuation AND much more!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Fat Drug Addled Hog - Rush Limbaugh Raises All Our Health Care

SO you don't want health providers to cover contraception? -You don't think it's valid to allow women to have casual sex without running the risk of having to undergo an abortion for an unwanted child (like we don't have enough of these) AND you also don't want effective government programs to help single mothers under the psychological and financial distress caused by these unwanted births? AND maybe like many Evangelican Cookoos you also just think SEX was designed by God to procreate ONLY - and of course that a handful of cells (ALL Scientific evidence notwhistanding) represents the wanton killing of a Human Being  ( hey shouldn't that require the death penalty if it's a life?):

OK  -BUT -Then we don't want health providers paying out hundreds of billions of dollars for medical deficiencies that are a direct result of Obesity - Poor Nutrition - Excessive Alcohol Consumption - Smoking and all undisciplined life style behaviors with absolute direct statistical links to Heart and Mental Disease and Diabetes and Lung Cancer!

 This is NOT  a faith based rationale imposing Religion on the vast majority of Americans who believe that Sex (casual or fidelity based) is an intrinsic and fulfulling part of life and who also respect a women's right to privacy and want to avoid the destructive ongoing growth of single mothers and it's toll on our society  - BUT RATHER:
 they don't call me RUSH for nothin -pass The Oxycotin!

A reasonable desire and proposal to NOT pay for illness which directly ensues from the weak self determined choices of folks who just want to act like pigs and have the government pay for it -LIKE:

That obese drug addicted Demigogue -Rush Limbaugh!

Why should insurance premiums be escalated to the point of being unaffordable by average hard working Americans while a gross undisciplined Oxycotin Addicted Hog like Limbaugh -making 30 million dollars a year - Eventually has (God willing) a heart attack or stroke due to his personal life style choices - and we all have to chip in to pay for it???

Or for all those other overweight fast food addicted and alcohol guzzling and cigarette smokingChristian Conservatives (among others) who don't give a crap about their health and have high rates of heart and lung disease (and mostly obese children)

OH -and Jesus was thin and active and had a glass of Goat milk and some figs (for constipation) every day. -And he didn't booze or smoke!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Vladimer Putin Must Have Been Raped When In KBG -Boycott NBC and Russian Vodka!

 i hate ALL faggots
Russia's new anti-gay legislation, which includes a law allowing authorities to detain tourists or foreign nationals who are gay or pro-gay, casts a cloud on NBC's coverage of the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi. 

While the International Olympic Committee said that they have "received assurances from the highest level of the government in Russia that the legislation will not affect those attending or taking part in the Games," the increasingly loud condemnations of Russia's laws has human rights activists urging NBC to take action. 
 Mommy Why can't we go to Russia?

Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign, sent a letter to NBCUniversal CEO Stephen Burke urging the company "to expose this inhumane and unjust law to the millions of American viewers who will tune in to watch the Games."
 half the Russian Army is queer and ALL their Priests

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Carlos Danger For NYC Mayor - Frisky Spitzer for Controller - The Deviant Party

The Reporter said that it had spoken with a woman, whom it did not name, who provided copies of her communications 

with a man who was apparently Mr. Weiner AKA "Carlos Danger" on The Web

The man engaged in explicit discussions of sexual acts he said he fantasized about performing with her, and sent her a picture of his penis; she told him, “Your health care rants were a huge turn-on.” The woman, 22 at the time, alleged that Mr. Weiner offered her an apartment, and proposed that he visit her. 
 Ted Supports The Deviants  
Only In New York!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Pope Francis Will Be Sodomized To Protest Child Rape By Priests

In a shocking revelation the Pope has announced that he will allow himself to be sodomized by a Priest to protest what he called:

"A catholic clergy that is overrun with priests who enjoy fucking children!"
He went on; "and any priest at whatever level of authority that is implicit in this crime of all crimes will be sodomized and castrated -henceforth"

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Fox News Announces - Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher To Anchor Prime Time Hour

Fox News president Roger (fatty Arbuckle) Ailes said today: " The Butta fuoco/Fisher News Hour will be a natural addition to our lineup and enhances our ongoing commitment to provide both fast breaking and in depth news - commentary and analysis for our primary demographic - Redneck Christian Morons."

 i am not fucking Amy says Roger Ailes

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Elliot Spitzer likes High priced Hookers - Who Doesn't?

 i'm here Elliot

The most sexual and gorgeous woman you have ever dreamed about arrives at your home -- she performs sex acts that will make your wife or girl friend forever seem like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh - and here's the best part:


So - let's get real about all this flap with Eliot Spitzer - it doesn't mean a fucking thing except he had the desire and the money and an ugly nagging wife.
ps at least he's not a fucking deviat like Weiner

Thursday, July 11, 2013

NYC Bar Special - A Spritzer - A Weiner -One Hooker -One Porno DVD - $250

Only in NYC would  two Disgraced Deviant Jews  have the Chutzpah to show their faces in public again - let alone run for public office again -OH - AND have a shot at being elected!
 how else are these ugly jews gonna get their rocks off -you ever see their wives- oye vey!

Monday, July 08, 2013

Lesbian Love Making Misread by NSA -Homeland Security Arrests Lesbo Couple in Humboldt, CA.

Esther and Miriam Applebaum - two married lesbians in Humboldt, CA. were having a nice quiet night of lovemaking when they heard the whirring of a Helicoptor and about 5 minutes later armed personnel of the Homeland Security Forces had them both handcuffed to a radiator in their bedroom because the NSA heard the following audio exchange from their computers in Nevada:

"Oh Oh that's so good Miriam -oh oh that is so perfect --NOW Miriam! Now! - Give it to me - - ok ok i am ready
Give Me The Rocket booster -NOW!!!"

"At that moment we heard a loud buzzing noise" said NSA technician Omar Farid and then; 

"Oh yes! -YE-ESS! - i am LAUNCHED!! -OH my God Esther!!!"
 what are you guys doing here?

"And that's when we sent in Homeland Security not knowing that it was just Miriam inserting a Dildo into Esther's bung hole -We thought it was a rocket launcher attack on The Humboldt national Guard Command Center."
Moishe Pipick head of strategic coordination between NSA and HLS said; "We are very sorry for this mistaken intrusion ( hehheh) and we have offered the gals an all expense paid weekend in las Vegas"

Louis Mandelbaum of Mandelbaum -Schwartz - Goldstein - Meyrowitz and Goldenberg Attorneys at law said;
"These lesbos will be millionaires when we are through!"

Johnny Depp and Paula Deen In "Amos n Andy" for Disney Pix - FOR black History Month

 Johnny Depp wil play Andy
 Paula Deen will play Kingfish
 maybe now them Jews in NY will take me back

Sunday, July 07, 2013

"The Lone Ranger Vampire Hunter" with Tonto The Zombie

THAT version might have worked BUT Jerry Bruckheimer is way to old to understand the dementia going on inside GenY's heads -let alone the kids who will watch animation even if told their parents will not be home tonight because they were killed on the Freeway just hours earlier - "Oh that's so sad but we're still going to see 'Expendables 2" - aren't we grandma?"
 i guess i'm too old

I mean asking Bruckheimer to come up with cutting edge cinema for todays loony youth is like asking ME to design condoms for gay men - speaking of which -"Brokeback Lone Ranger" where The Lone Ranger cornholes Tonto in a hay stack would have been a box office smash!

OR even something funny like The Lone Ranger and Tonto starring Will Ferrel as a cross dressing  Ranger and Seth Grodin as an autistic Tonto and with Scarlett Johannsen as a nymphomaniac Medicine Women and Johnny Depp as a demented Preacher who cornholes barn animals. (shortage of Altar Boys back then)
  historic clunker