xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 16, 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oral Sex Surges During Recession -And OSD Divorces

"Men who report getting a blow job for the first time - and men who get blown more than five times a week are reporting dramatic breakthroughs in their oral sex lives.

And women who have never had a tongue in their pussy's - and women who are being eaten more than three times a week are also reporting dramatically new action."

So sayeth Dr. Moishe Pipick - head researcher at the Institute of Sexual Research in Berne , Switzerland. -- He continued:

"And butt hole stimulation - both with mechanical devices, and with the tongue - is jumping right off the chart!"

Elise Mandelbaum - digital lifestyle reporter - asked Dr. Pipick: "Doctor - is it possible that the world wide recession is having positive cultural effects through this apparent relaxation of repressed sexual attitudes - and where people are finding pleasure in non spending behavior?"

"Absolutely!" said Dr. Pipick; " I mean -it costs nothing to lick your mates asshole or balls - and it boosts the immune system -and it produces filial and familial harmony -and we have happier and better adjusted children

And a whole cascade of positive socio/cultural benefits!"

"Can you see any downside to all this sucking and licky loving?" -Asked Ms. Mandelbaum.

"Yes - said the Doctor - those who are not getting their quotient of this powerful form of sensitive contact - will seek it elsewhere - so we expect to see a dramatic increase in folks filing for divorce based on;

"Oral sex deprivation" - Or OSD

For Majority of Terrorists It's A Great Job Stupid

" Ninety seven percent of these ignorant assholes are just illiterate victims of a culture where there is no fun - no art - no sexy women (because they have all been marginalized into human burlap bags) -

No opportunity - it's hot and dirty all the time - no toilet paper - no stuff to buy (including food) - no booze - and no doctors or medicine or soap - ydadadaddadaadda.

Their life completely sucks!

So - some pathological brainwashed from birth Al Quaeda scumbag comes along - and all of a sudden - this lost piece of human debris shitbag has a gun and power - is given three square meals - get's instant status - and maybe even some toilet paper.

A chimpanzee running around with guns and bombs -who believes he's god's right hand man - who never had so much fun until he became a jihadist - killing and maiming at will - and wiping his ass with charmin instead of his hand.

And - ninety percent of the semi normal world is sitting around wondering if they should join the fight against these rabid creatures - on their home ground - Afghanistan?

I mean - some douche bag is sitting in a cafe in Norway (or wherever) eating a sardine and wondering about the human cost of conflict -and civilian casualties and Abu Graib and torture - and maybe there's a holistic approach to all this horrible stuff?

Hey - these fucking jihadists are out there working hard at the best job they ever had or ever will have - don't you fucking get it?

It's now or never. - Let's kill all these fuckers as fast as possible - Or give them better jobs - or at least a good ole fashioned - European style -- state of the art - blow job.