xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Mar 25, 2009

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sarah Palin IS Reason For North Korean Rocket Launch

U.S. officials say. U.S. counterproliferation and intelligence officials have confirmed Japanese news reports of the expected launch between April 4 and 8.
North Korea announced its intention to launch the satellite in February. Regional powers worry the claim is a cover for the launch of a long-range missile capable of reaching Alaska. (to annihilate Sarah Palin)



National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair said earlier this month that all indications suggest North Korea will in fact launch a satellite and that the reason is -- "Sarah Palin and her Alien spore."



Il Jong Cockhead -North Korea's leader has previously gone on record about his concerns regarding Sarah Palin "That woman is not human! - She is an Alien from another world - and she must be destroyed along with her Alien spore. (family)"



He said at the UN yesterday: " When a country as powerful as the United States was considering her for a leadership position we started taking her very seriously, as it was obvious to our Ancient Wise Men that she was a seriously damaged human being .



"He continued; "We are a poor and humble nation but we cannot sit idly by and not be prepared to annihilate her when she leaves her human form and starts to destroy the world - think of the great western movie epic "Aliens" -that creature is Sarah Palin without her costume."



"I know that sounds preposterous - but we have a mystical culture going back ten thousand years - and our wise men are shitting in their robes over that monstor,"



He concluded; " We don't want or need a ballistic missile - but we have to be sure wer'e ready when she breaks out of her pod"



Wow - i think he may have somethin there.

Fox TV Announces -"Spot The Pigs" -Starring Maury Povich

Moishe Pipick - head of program development at Fox television announced an exciting new reality program today - which will star Maury (bang bang) Povich.

"Maury is perfect for this show! - and we are so excited to see him back on prime time tv - and he has promised not to fuck any of the production staff - and - oh - here's theshow's premise;"

"Ten women - covered in those schmata robes that the Arab Muslim men think are so attractive - will be questioned by several couples who will compete - through their questioning and analysis - to figure out which one of the women is a georgeous'Piece of Ass' ( as we say in the trade)."

Pipick continued his show description; - "Nine of the women are "Pigs" - hence the name "Spot the Pigs" - and the couple who picks the one 'Piece of Ass' wins unbelievable prizes and lots of cashola"

"The couples are allowed to look at baby pictures of the women - pictures of their parents - and get to meet and question their boyfriends and/or husbands and past lovers - and they can ask them to move around and dance and - can ask questions about their sex lives - etcetera."

"Point being - as an example - that if you ask a women wether she's ever had anal sex - and her eyes kinda roll around in a weird kinda way under the burka - like it's a horrible thought - well you might deduce that she has an ass like a beer barrel -which no guy would want to stick his pecker in:

'Well you get the point (oops a pun) - and Maury will of course be adding to the fun as only he can do - and boy when those robes come off - it's gonna be a riot! - and very dramatic and exciting."

"Oh - and all the pigs get an extreme makeover as a prize - and the 'Piece of Ass' gets a role in a porno movie."

Pipick concluded; "We wanted to call the show "Pick the Piece of Ass" -but our network censors thought it was anti- feminist."