xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 11/01/2010 - 12/01/2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Injun Chief With Pilgrim in Heaven --Thanksgiving 2010

Chief Whitefish -"Look Pilgrim what has happened since you fucked us back then - My people have Casinos and loads of bling and their children go to Harvard and drive BMW trucks and our wives have Gucci luggage - And your people have no jobs and are losing their houses and your druggy children have to leave college and live at home and your wives are desperate for sex and bling and security.

Pilgrim John Smith -You are still a bunch of fucking savages!

Happy Thanksgiving (what goes around)

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...: "'It's wild all right!' announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today: 'This will blow your socks off -(along with every oth..."

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...: "'It's wild all right!' announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today: 'This will blow your socks off -(along with every oth..."

Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wild"

"It's wild all right!" announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today:

"This will blow your socks off -(along with every other article of clothing heh heh heh) Because we have purchased the XlT1000 Super Security Scanner which El Al Air uses to scan the Habibs who are constantly trying to blow up Israeli passengers - and it's the best!"

He went on: "I mean you can see a spot on a nipple like it's a bowling ball AND SO - We at Fox Reality Television are using this fun technology to create a Celebrity Game Show"

"How's it work Mikey?" asked digibandit Hollywood Reporter Elise Mandelbaum.

"Good question Elise" -"Let's say we show pictures of say six hotties -lncluding you -in bikinis - And then we run you all through the scanner AND Then - The contestants have to pick which pair of bodaceous ta ta's are YOURS"

Elise replied; -"So - you see MY breasts in a bikini along with five other women and then the audience sees our actual breasts in the Screener and then they have to select which are mine - Only n the show they would be trying to pick the actual Celebrity's Breasts?"

"You nailed it Elise - and we certainly would want to have a strong array of ta ta's like yours in the screener (heh heh) OH -I wanted to call the show " Million Dollar - Whose Tit's Are They Anyway" - BUT my genius kids in the programming department explained that we will be extending the contest to Celebrity Asses and Scrotums which brings in a much wider audience"

"But Mike?" asked Elise "With all the concern about these screeners and privacy issues right now -isn't that a concern for Fox?"

"Absolutely!" replied Schlocker -- "AND when American's see these magnificent tits ans asses and nut sacks of Celebrities up on the TV screen with all those other folks body parts -in a fun Game Show environment - We just KNOW that the whole issue of embarrassment will disappear overnight."

He concluded: "And what's good for national Security -Is good for Fox Television!"

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Tough Audience

Satellite TV programs such as those broadcast on Farsi 1 destroy the chastity and honor of our families and encourage the young to take up lovemaking, wine drinking and Satan worship."
MOHAMMAD-TAGHI RAHBAR, a member of Iran's Parliament, on comedies and dramas broadcast from Dubai into Iran by the News Corporation and a prominent Afghan family.

What they need is a game show -maybe "The Stone Is Right" where these stone age morons can compete in killing their local "Satanic Hussies" and win luxurious prizes like dynamite and toilet paper?

Or maybe "Desperate Shiite Houswives of Iran" where wives and mothers compete in begging their husbands for huge favors -like not being abused and demeaned and totally marginalized.

Or maybe even
"Is Your Goat Smarter Than The Local Mullah?"

No wonder these Fundamentalist Muslims are so cranky! -They have nothing to watch but each other's fucking misery.

Monday, November 15, 2010

World Leaders Overheard Dissing Republicans

A leaked recording of a private conference has been obtained by digibandit European Burea Chief Moishe Pipick who could not release the names due to a confidentiality agreement BUT Here are some comments from world leaders regarding the incoming class of 100 new freshman Congressional Republicans:

"This has to be the stupidest group of American legislators in their history"

"Fucking unqualified morons -couldn't get elected dog catcher here"

"Ignorant -incompetent -inexperienced -ideologues and religious wackos"

"God help us - they are a bunch of uneducated gun toting assholes"

"Just wait -they will be fucking everything that walks -stealing and grabbing and making fools of themselves"

"The American people have just fucked themselves ROYALLY -they where better off under King George"

"These schmucks make Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar -a bunch of Bible belting Neanderthals"

"Fox news is gonna have a field day with this group of complete assholes"

SO -we asked Moishe Pipick; "Did you get the feeling that the rest of the world thinks we've gone backwards in our Political efficacy?"

"What!" -"Have you been listening!" -"They think America has opened up it's mental institutions and given the loonies a shot at governing"

Stay tuned -and buy gold and drugs and ammo.