xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 04/01/2013 - 05/01/2013

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

FIRST Animated Film for Gay Children - From Dreamworks

Steven Spielberg head of DreamWorks announced; “We are in production on the first gay themed animated film for gay Children !" 'Studsy The Queer Bull', “It's about ‘Studsy’ -- a prize Angus Bull who prefers young bull’s and steers over cows. We were thinking of calling the film, ‘The Queer Steer’ -- but technically he’s a bull (obviously not castrated) and hung like a Moose. As a matter of fact ‘Studsy’ would fuck a Moose as long as it’s a MALE Moose, and he even tried ,several times during filming, to get at me.” Chimed in Katzenberg the ex head of Disney Animation who is a humanoid version of Studsy

He continued; “Our research shows that twenty to thirty percent of Americans under the age of seven years old have strong homosexual tendencies,and child psychologists are certain that they are torn apart emotionally between openly adopting a gay lifestyle or “closeting” their emotions in an oppressive hetro dominated environment. –‘Studsy’ will instill pride and  identity resolution in young closeted gay children and help them ‘break out” -- just as ‘Studsy’ does in a very compelling scene where he is supposed to impregnate a group of prize cows,but ‘breaks out’ ( a metaphor for his closet) of the paddock and charges into the meadow --- where he proceeds to shtupp about twelve young bulls and eight steers in a violent release of pent up frustration .”
 Studsy Is OUR Hero
Spielberg added, “ Now you have got to picture this twenty six hundred pound Angus bull corn holing every asshole in sight --the energy and passion and drama ! -- Think the fifteenth round in Rocky one. -- At this point in the test screenings young boys were jumping up and down on the seats screaming, ‘fuck em -- fuck em all Studsy” and they were crying and hugging one  another and some even started masturbating.”

They concluded; “We are so thrilled and satisfied that in today’s exploitive creative environment --especially as far as our children are concerned -- that we at Dream Works are able to produce positive and socially redemptive quality programming that will constructively help our  children -- our most precious resource -- to shape and sructure their lives; as we walk hand in hand with America’s parents to achieve that goal through creative art. And - so, coming soon to a theatre near you, ‘Studsy The Queer Bull’.
And  Bring your tiny future fags to see America’s first Queer Superhero.

Monday, April 29, 2013

TLC - Home of Learning Announces - "I Sucked A Saudi's Cock For Big Bucks"

TLC is seeking young unmarried teens (or even some married  pregnant teens) who would like to marry a rich Saudi Arabian for a cable network show 

AND would be willing to blow them and have Anal Sex in an audition for a new Reality Show on The Learning Channel

"I Sucked a Saudi's Cock for Big Bucks"

If interested email tlccasting@gmail.com and include a bio of with names, ages, occupations and city of residence.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Hot NEW Google App! - "The Lust Alert" - from Android

*Now  below is the scientific definition of a pheromone -simply put as it relates to this new Google App -it will tell you how how hot and horny your date is  by detecting their sexual hormonal responses to you.

Simply put -'The Lust Detector Android App. allows you to evaluate the level of 'LUST" you are generating from your object of desire -and when the "Lust Alert" goes off -well - you know as the the Parrot squawked in the bedroom.

"Someone is Gonna Get Laid!"
 The term "pheromone" was introduced by Peter Karlson and Martin L├╝scher in 1959, based on the Greek word pherein (to transport) and hormone (to stimulate). They are also sometimes classified as ecto-hormones. They were researched earlier by various scientists, including Jean-Henri Fabre, Joseph A. Lintner, Adolph Butenandt, and the prominent ethologist Karl von Frisch who called them various names like "alarm substances." These chemical messengers are transported outside of the body and result in a direct developmental effect on hormone levels or behavioral change.[3] They proposed the term to describe chemical signals from conspecifics that elicit innate behaviors soon after the German Biochemist Adolf Butenandt characterized the first such chemical, bombykol (a chemically well-characterized pheromone released by the female silkworm to attract mates).[4]

Friday, April 26, 2013

Apple Announces "The Pleasure Pod" with Anal Sex App Included

With the huge success of Google's masturbation App - Apple has announced their new"Pleasure Pod" which will include:

Virtual sex phone hookers

Hot porno tailored to the user's tastes

A built in vibrator for the gals

a hooker shopping app

AND for a small additional fee an app which will connect the user with compatible sex phone partners

(like Facebook only it's called SexBook)
AND As Mentioned

The Anal Sex App

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Willie Robertson announces " Pussy Call Commander" - "Drives Women Wild!"

The company is still very much all in the family, with roughly 80 percent of its employees being related one way or another to the Robertson clan. Jase Robertson, another one of Phil and Kay's sons, also hand-makes duck calls for the company.
"I try to produce the sounds of the ducks I have heard in my ears, into this call. That's what I do all day long," he said. 

" SO - one day Willie says to me me -Jase-Can You make a Pussy Callcommander?"

'Well -i said -a duck call ain't nothin but a mating call which makes ducks wet and horny so why not just apply that to women!"

 Mona Raye
"Well i made one and we tested it out on Mona Raye and she went clear over to Elmo Plunkett's Cabin and almost tore his dick off! -And you know he ain't been laid since he raped that Jew from up North ten years ago -and he is so ugly he has to Rape his Barn Animals. "
  Willie announced today: "Well suffice it to say Jase made em and we did a lot of testing (hehheh) AND that any man -even a fat disgusting redneck -  can get women as fired up as a Mallard in heat.
Willie continued;"And i mean ready to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch! with this new HUMAN female duck call 
and A&E is gonna show ya's all how it comes out in the fall on "Pussy Call Commander"
 "It's gonna revolutionize Sex AND Television!"

Monday, April 22, 2013

Wayne La Pierre "All Joggers should Carry Guns"

 guns would have stopped bombers

Wayne (La Puke)la Pierre head gun nut and moron of The NRA announced today:

'All those runners AND all the spectators should have been strapped! -if they were wearing guns the bombers would have been kilt!"

 Pig Eye Martin Exec VP NRA West Virginia
Maybe The NRA should sponsor a Marathon with all gun nuts -all armed -problem is not enough NRA members who can run much farther than the local bar.

Oh and all their Women gun nuts are home watchin "The Price is Right" snackin

Media Must Stop Coddling Muslims! - The Islamic Religion is Dangerous! The Koran is Dangerous! -Wake The Fuck Up!

WHERE is The Outrage against the Infidel haters among all those kind and loving Moslem Neighbors of ours?

New York: The Boston Marathon bombing suspect, who was killed in a shootout with the police, was reportedly a fan of a radical Australian Muslim cleric, who despises Harry Potter and preaches that rape victims only have themselves to blame.

The suspect, Tamerlan Tsarnaev, had posted a YouTube video of a 2007 British documentary called ' Undercover Mosque’, which shows the cleric Sheik Feiz Mohammad encouraging children to have a zeal for jihad and become martyrs for Islam, the New York Post reports. 

 the fact is that Moslems follow a Violent and Viscious theosophy that lends itself to death worship and anti infidel exploitation in the hands of their maniacal priests and leaders it's time to stop making apologies for all the "Good Muslims" who sit around blandly in America doing nothing about their radical brethren 
 they don't even protest against these outrages when they happen!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

American Drug Gangs and Rednecks Are Stupid! m -Illegals Are MUCH SMarter

SEQUOIA NATIONAL FOREST, Calif. – Not far from Yosemite's waterfalls and in the middle of California's redwood forests, Mexican drug gangs are quietly commandeering U.S. public land to grow millions of marijuana plants and using smuggled immigrants to cultivate them.
Pot has been grown on public lands for decades, but Mexican traffickers have taken it to a whole new level: using armed guards and trip wires to safeguard sprawling plots that in some cases contain tens of thousands of plants offering a potential yield of more than 30 tons of pot a year.
"Just like the Mexicans took over the methamphetamine trade, they've gone to mega, monster gardens," said Brent Wood, a supervisor for the California Department of Justice's Bureau of Narcotics Enforcement. He said Mexican traffickers have "supersized" the marijuana trade.

Interviews conducted by The Associated Press with law enforcement officials across the country showed that Mexican gangs are largely responsible for a spike in large-scale marijuana farms over the last several years.
Local, state and federal agents found about a million more pot plants each year between 2004 and 2008, and authorities say an estimated 75 percent to 90 percent of the new marijuana farms can be linked to Mexican gangs.
In 2008 alone, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration, police across the country confiscated or destroyed 7.6 million plants from about 20,000 outdoor plots.
Growing marijuana in the U.S. saves traffickers the risk and expense of smuggling their product across the border and allows gangs to produce their crops closer to local markets.
Distribution also becomes less risky. Once the marijuana is harvested and dried on the hidden farms, drug gangs can drive it to major cities, where it is distributed to street dealers and sold along with pot that was grown in Mexico.
About the only risk to the Mexican growers, experts say, is that a stray hiker or hunter could stumble onto a hidden field.
The remote plots are nestled under the cover of thick forest canopies in places such as Sequoia National Park, or hidden high in the rugged-yet-fertile Sierra Nevada Mountains. Others are secretly planted on remote stretches of Texas ranch land.

All of the sites are far from the eyes of law enforcement, where growers can take the time needed to grow far more potent marijuana. Farmers of these fields use illegal fertilizers to help the plants along, and use cloned female plants to reduce the amount of seed in the bud that is dried and eventually sold.
Mexican gang plots can often be distinguished from those of domestic-based growers, who usually cultivate much smaller fields with perhaps 100 plants and no security measures.
Some of the fields tied to the drug gangs have as many as 75,000 plants, each of which can yield at least a pound of pot annually, according to federal data reviewed by the AP.
The Sequoia National Forest in central California is covered in a patchwork of pot fields, most of which are hidden along mountain creeks and streams, far from hiking trails. It's the same situation in the nearbyYosemite, Sequoia and Redwood national parks.
Even if they had the manpower to police the vast wilderness, authorities say terrain and weather conditions often keep them from finding the farms, except accidentally.
Many of the plots are encircled with crude explosives and are patrolled by guards armed with AK-47s who survey the perimeter from the ground and from perches high in the trees.
The farms are growing in sophistication and are increasingly cultivated by illegal immigrants, many of whom have been brought to the U.S. from Michoacan.
Growers once slept among their plants, but many of them now have campsites up to a mile away equipped with separate living and cooking areas.
"It's amazing how they have changed the way they do business," Wood said. "It's their domain."
Drug gangs have also imported marijuana experts and unskilled labor to help find the best land or buildirrigation systems, Wood said.

Happy 420 - Marijuana Hall of Fame

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Study Shows Most American Kids Should be Outsourced to China or India

  Dr. Moishe Pipick - Lead investigator for The National Commission on Parenting in America -- announced today:  "After five years of studying the methods and efficacy of parenting in the United States --we have concluded that our children would be much better off being raised in Foreign countries --especially China and India."

American children are not being raised like human children -- they are being raised like cattle being led to the slaughter. And without global competitive skills that's exactly what it will be --economic slaughter !

 Bible all's they needs and discipline
He continued: " Most parents have absolutely zero knowledge of their children's developmental needs and requirements -- God forbid they should read and study a little bit about what should be their number one priority --to give their kid's a shot at maximizing their potential ."

" Crappy and constant television (fifty hours per week) -- computer social networking -- violent video games -- shopping and stuffing their faces and celebrity worship ." He went on; "The parents act like jerks not parents -- minimal participation -- minimal deliberation and books are on the verge of distinction as is thoughtful interaction ."

Of course, he said; ''Many,primarily upper income and well educated parents are taking care of "business." -- their well educated and well directed and well connected kids will move right on up the ladders of prosperity and fulfillment. --and, sure, many struggling Parents are sacrificing to do the right thing for their kids,both spiritually and intellectually -- but they are in the minority. Just look at drop-out rates and national reading and math scores --it's horrifying -- how in the hell do the parents of these children think they will wind up in a globally competitive and highly specialized world economy. "

"We believe, based on this comprehensive study" he said;  "That the best solution is to take parenting responsibility away from these ignorant and uncaring and basically dysfunctional parents and 'Outsource' their parental supervision and guidance. -- You don't see many Chinese and Indian parents,even the poor ones, who don't take their child rearing responsibilities very seriously -- and it's not about money -- it's about developing character and intellect and a sense of worth and purpose -- they believe that the essential skill sets will flow from that kind of priority nurturing -- as they inevitably do!"

The study also showed that children raised in Jewish homes were the happiest and most likely to succeed, followed by rich Wasps. Most children raised in very religious Christian households ,along with poor Blacks and Hispanics  would be better off raised in Chinese or Indian families.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Fox Announces"Huma and Anthony"

Fox Announces"Huma and Anthony"

Yes -the Weiner's are coming to Prime Time as Fox reality TV President Myron Schlocker announced from The Beverly Hills Hotel today:

"Anthony and Huma have committed to a Twitter and Facebook and You Tube blitzkrieg in an exciting new Fox reality series where the whole world will get to to see BOTH Huma and Tony interact with some of the strangest men and women on Earth and provide therapeutic insight into a large hunk of the human population that lives in sexual delusion across the internet"

He went on: "It's just another example of us here at Fox TV trying to make the world better through intelligent Reality television"

Digibandit Hollywood Bureau Chief Elise Mandelbaum queried Schlocker: " C'mon Myron -this is just more crappy exploitation of your audience of mostly morons using sick and tortured celebs to titillate and make money - like Sarah Palin and Bernie Madoff (Breakfast with Bernie) -isn't it"

He replied: "Wrong miss smarty big tits -IF i wanted to titillate we would have called it 'Anthony's Weiner With Huma's Saurkraut" -like my creative team recommended.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Ill Jong Cock Offers To Cook Obama's Dog Bo as Peace Offering

 Dog meat Keeps North Koreans Strong
 please don't eat us
 North Korean Moronic leader

Suk Mai Kok -head palace chef - said; "The Obama's made a very wise choice in selecting a Portuguese Water Dog -The only other dog that is more succulent and tasty is maybe a young Golden Retriever that has been marinated for four days in pig urine -and then roasted slowly for five hours at 225 degrees"

He continued : "Our Glorious leader sees the selection of this tasty dog by the White House as a symbol of a new attitude towards North Korea -and has the potential to unlock our differences over the Nuclear issues:"
He concluded; "Any US President that would choose a rare and delicious Portuguese Water Dog as a feast for his children -is well on the way to creating a meaningful dialogue with North Korea."