xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 25, 2012

Friday, May 25, 2012

Visa announces "Shop Till You Drop Card" for Crap Junkies


WANT TO GET YOUR "SHOPPER'S HIGH" WITHOUT ACTUALLY SPENDING A DIME?

Get that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption ?

Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your "Junk" - just like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery?

Well - with Visa's "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee --ten thousand dollars worth of "buy only" credits cost a paltry fifty bucks

And you high roller's can get up to one -hundred thousand dollars in credits for a paltry three hundred bucks.

So shop away! - You check out the goods just like you were actually buying them -- the clerk says thank you - and you leave without the merchandise, but aglow with that "special shoppers high" that really has nothing to do with needing or even wanting most of "the stuff" (as George Carlin used to say) anyway.

And for a small extra fee the clerk will provide you with an assortment of boxes with the details of what you "shopped" so you can arrive at home and go over all your "shopped only purchases" with your family and friends - getting yet another " consumption fix" - for free - when you open them.

And -- you can give these "Shopped Only"gifts for any and all occasions - "Oh look what Mary and Joseph Pipick "Shopped" us for our housewarming." As your friend unwraps and reads the gift description - "A beautiful Tiffany bowl".

And the whole nature of consumerism will change as the consumer addicted crap junkies   will now get a low cost powerful fix  - and life as we know it - and the social and political and economic and cultural impact will be staggering (as they need more and more and more crappy stuff!!!)

Remember - it's "The thought that counts" - so get your Visa "Shop Till You Drop" card -- get high - and change the world! --For peanuts!