xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Nov 29, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Walmart Shoppers Stampede - Like Moslems in Mecca

Some shoppers who had seen the stampede said they were shocked. One of them, Kimberly Cribbs of Queens, said the crowd had acted like “savages.” Shoppers behaved badly even as the store was being cleared, she recalled.
“When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, ‘I’ve been on line since yesterday morning,’ ” Ms. Cribbs told The Associated Press. “They kept shopping.”

Well - every year we read about Moslem worshippers stampeding each other to death as they go nuts to get into their Tooth Fairy Palace in Mecca - and finally we have our western version of that phenomena - as a man was crushed to death - today - by Walmart bargain shoppers.

"Oh - and this is only the beginning!" said Moishe Pipick, head of security for Walmart's world wide security organization.

He stated; "I just saw the videos of the rampage which took place at our Long Island store - and the only thing i could think of was those old scenes in the Cowboy movies where a wrangler gets ground up by a thundering herd of crazed stampeding steers."

"I am recommending that we install machine gun positions at all stores where we have Black Friday kind of discount events!"

He continued; "When you see folks who have been standing in line starting at three am for five or six hours - waiting to get their hands on a fifty -two inch Sony flat screen for four hundred bucks - and then the doors don't open on time - or something spooks the "herd" - trust me - nothing will stop them them but an armor piercing fifty caliber bullet."

" I mean- youv'e seen the pictures of those nut case Moslems on pilgrimage in Mecca? - well - this is much more intense - because to a credit strapped American consumer - a bargain is way more important than any religious crapola!"

"I mean - you could guarantee these folks that Jesus Christ would be at the local Walmart super store healing the lame and the sick and offering salvation - and they would tear apart a store offering huge discounts just down the street from him ."

Mr. Pipick concluded; "As the economy goes further and farther into the toilet - the situation is going to get really nasty - we feel that folks will soon be storming our wharehouses - and my security forces might have to use biological weapons against them."

Wow - what a great Reality Show - i'll have to call Fox!