xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

United States Should Sell It's Prison Population

Ny Times :The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.

Moishe Pipick - head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- well - why not our huge and growing prison population?"

He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"

He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."

"Wer'e talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."

He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

Outsourcing is a beautiful thing!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fox TV Announces "Get Freaky With Squeaky"

The Charles Manson follower convicted of trying to assassinate President Gerald Ford was released Friday from a Texas prison hospital after more than three decades behind bars.

Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, 60, left the Federal Medical Center Carswell in Fort Worth at about 8 a.m. and was greeted by Fox TV President Myron Schlocker - and wisked away in his limo headed for his private jet and a meeting in LA -where he later announced:

"The kind of antics with which Squeaky captivated the nation's attention 30 years ago: shaving her red hair and carving an "X" into her forehead after Manson was convicted for orchestrating a mass murder, wearing a red robe when she pulled a gun on Ford, being carried into her trial courtroom by marshals when she refused to walk. -"Will now be put into creating America's next hit reality show -"Freaky Squeaky"

Schlocker went on;"In September 1975, she pushed through a crowd, drew a semiautomatic .45-caliber pistol from a thigh holster and pointed it at Ford, who was shaking hands with well-wishers while walking to the California State Capitol in Sacramento. ( Secret Service agents grabbed her and the gun, and Ford was unhurt)."


He went on; "Squeaky who got her nickname while in Manson's "family," possibly because of her voice, had become its leader. - During her trial, Fromme refused to attend or had outbursts."

"And catch this!" he exclaimed; ""She later was sentenced to 15 years in prison, which was tacked onto her life term for threats against the president, after escaping from a women's prison in Alderson, W.Va., in 1987. She was recaptured two days later about two miles away after a massive search. Squeaky had said she escaped from prison to be closer to Manson after hearing rumors that he was dying."

Schlocker stated; " Now is is this little gal and her wild bunch of nutcases gonna turn in one hell of a hit show? - It's gonna be humongous!"

Schlocker said; "Oh - almost forgot - heh heh - in 1979 as punishment for striking another inmate with a hammer while the two tended a garden on the prison grounds. She later was moved to Lexington, Ky., and then to Marianna, Fla."

"I mean - it just keeps getting better - well anyway - after thirty years behind bars she's finally gonna get to apply her god given talent to Fox Reality Television - heh heh"

"As Squeaky said thirty years ago" said Schlocker:

"I stood up and waved a gun (at Ford) for a reason," she wrote. "I was so relieved not to have to shoot it, but, in truth, I came to get life. Not just my life but clean air, healthy water and respect for creatures and creation."

Schlocker concluded: 'She's Squeaky clean and ready for prime time on Fox TV"

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A perfect Place To Send All The Homo Priests

GOMA, Congo — It was around 11 p.m. when armed men burst into Kazungu Ziwa’s hut, put a machete to his throat and yanked down his pants. Mr. Ziwa is a tiny man, about four feet, six inches tall. He tried to fight back, but said he was quickly beaten down.
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“Then they raped me,” he said. “It was horrible, physically. I was dizzy. My thoughts just left me.”
For years, the thickly forested hills and clear, deep lakes of eastern Congo have been a reservoir of atrocities. Now, it seems, there is another growing problem: men raping men.
According to Oxfam, Human Rights Watch, United Nations officials and several Congolese aid organizations, the number of men who have been raped has risen sharply in recent months, a consequence of joint Congo-Rwanda military operations against rebels that have uncapped an appalling level of violence against civilians.
Aid workers struggle to explain the sudden spike in male rape cases. The best answer, they say, is that the sexual violence against men is yet another way for armed groups to humiliate and demoralize Congolese communities into submission.
The United Nations already considers eastern Congo the rape capital of the world, and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is expected to hear from survivors on her visit to the country next week. Hundreds of thousands of women have been sexually assaulted by the various warring militias haunting these hills, and right now this area is going through one of its bloodiest periods in years.
The joint military operations that began in January between Rwanda and Congo, David and Goliath neighbors who were recently bitter enemies, were supposed to end the murderous rebel problem along the border and usher in a new epoch of cooperation and peace. Hopes soared after the quick capture of a renegade general who had routed government troops and threatened to march across the country.
But aid organizations say that the military maneuvers have provoked horrific revenge attacks, with more than 500,000 people driven from their homes, dozens of villages burned and hundreds of villagers massacred, including toddlers thrown into open fires.
And it is not just the rebels being blamed. According to human rights groups, soldiers from the Congolese Army are executing civilians, raping women and conscripting villagers to lug their food, ammunition and gear into the jungle. It is often a death march through one of Africa’s lushest, most stunning tropical landscapes, which has also been the scene of a devastatingly complicated war for more than a decade.
“From a humanitarian and human rights perspective, the joint operations are disastrous,” said Anneke Van Woudenberg, a researcher for Human Rights Watch.
The male rape cases span several hundred miles and possibly include hundreds of victims. The American Bar Association, which runs a sexual violence legal clinic in Goma, said that more than 10 percent of its cases in June were men.
Brandi Walker, an aid worker at Panzi hospital in nearby Bukavu, said, “Everywhere we go, people say men are getting raped, too.”
But nobody knows the exact number. Men here, like anywhere, are reluctant to come forward. Several who did said they instantly became castaways in their villages, lonely, ridiculed figures, derisively referred to as “bush wives.”
Since being raped several weeks ago, Mr. Ziwa, 53, has not shown much interest in practicing animal medicine, his trade for years. He limps around (his left leg was crushed in the attack) in a soiled white lab coat with “veterinaire” printed on it in red pen, carrying a few biscuit-size pills for dogs and sheep.
“Just thinking about what happened to me makes me tired,” he said.
The same is true for Tupapo Mukuli, who said he was pinned down on his stomach and gang-raped in his cassava patch seven months ago. Mr. Mukuli is now the lone man in the rape ward at Panzi hospital, which is filled with hundreds of women recovering from rape-related injuries. Many knit clothes and weave baskets to make a little money while their bodies heal.
But Mr. Mukuli is left out.
“I don’t know how to make baskets,” he said. So he spends his days sitting on a bench, by himself.
The male rape cases are still just a fraction of those against women. But for the men involved, aid workers say, it is even harder to bounce back.
“Men’s identity is so connected to power and control,” Ms. Walker said.
And in a place where homosexuality is so taboo, the rapes carry an extra dose of shame.
“I’m laughed at,” Mr. Mukuli said. “The people in my village say: ‘You’re no longer a man. Those men in the bush made you their wife.’ ”
Aid workers here say the humiliation is often so severe that male rape victims come forward only if they have urgent health problems, like stomach swelling or continuous bleeding. Sometimes even that is not enough. Ms. Van Woudenberg said that two men whose penises were cinched with rope died a few days later because they were too embarrassed to seek help. Castrations also seem to be increasing, with more butchered men showing up at major hospitals.
Last year, Congo’s rape epidemic appeared to be easing a bit, with fewer cases reported and some rapists jailed. But today, it seems like that thin veneer of law and order has been stripped away. The way villagers describe it, it is open season on civilians.
Muhindo Mwamurabagiro, a tall, graceful woman with long, strong arms, explained how she was walking to the market with friends when they were suddenly surrounded by a group of naked men.
“They grabbed us by the throat and threw us down and raped us,” she said.
Worse, she said, one of the rapists was from her village.
“I yelled, ‘Father of Kondo, I know you, how can you do this?’ ”
One mother said a United Nations peacekeeper raped her 12-year-old boy. A United Nations spokesman said that he had not heard that specific case but that there were indeed a number of new sexual abuse allegations against peacekeepers in Congo and that a team was sent in late July to investigate.
Congolese health professionals are becoming exasperated. Many argue for a political solution, not a military one, and say Western powers should put more pressure on Rwanda, which is widely accused of preserving its own stability by keeping the violence on the other side of the border.
“I understand the world feels guilty about what happened in Rwanda in 1994,” said Denis Mukwege, the lead doctor at Panzi Hospital, referring to Rwanda’s genocide. “But shouldn’t the world feel guilty about what’s happening in Congo today?”

Monday, August 03, 2009

Fox Tv Announces '"The Desperate Green Housewives of Malibu CA."

Morty Schlocker Prexy of Fox original programming announced today:

Well with all the " 'Desperate'shtupping and cheating and lying and drinking and drugging going on all over televsion - i mean why not the Desperate Housewives of Williamsburg in Brooklyn NYC already? -They could show Hasidic housewives shtupping their brains out while the Rebbes are off in the jewelry exchange cheating the goyim."

"But i digress! - We at Fox are commited to quality cutting edge programming - So - in - 'The Desperate Green Housewives of Malibu
.CA.' - We will observe these filthy rich bored women party and screw around on their wimpy desperately rich lalaland husbands -But - with a new and positive socio-cultural approach."

" He said; " All the action will be "Green"! - Green cars and energy efficient homes and macro dining and even green cocktails"

"This will be totally environmentally safe and energy efficient fucking around!" -said President Schlocker.

"Can you give us an example?" - asked Lisa Mandelbaum -the digibandit Hollywood bureau chief.

"Oh yes - definitely!" he said; "In one scene the young Malibu desperate housewife is giving a cocktail party reception for her much older husband (a famous movie director) and she slips down to the pool cabana with Hector the pool and landscape manager for their estate."

"And" -he went on; "While Hector is banging the shit out of her while she's laying over the cabana railing we see a shot of the solar panels next to the pool."

'That's green?" asked Mandelbaum.

He replied; "Yeah - don't you get it? The pool is heated with solar energy - It's green! - Dontcha fucking get it Lisa?"

Our reporter replied: " Maybe Hector should have a green dick?"

Schlocker exclaimed; "Hey -that's great - right on - Maybe a green condom? - Excuse me - I gotta call the producer!"