First Recorded Case Of "Coyote Leg" Reported

A team of doctors from "Coyote Arm" International has confirmed that Manny Orbach from Bensonhurst in Brooklyn NYC - Chewed off a large chunk of his leg (which had to be subsequently amputated) -thinking it was his arm) when he awoke from a night of drunken revelry with Elise Mandelbaum draped across his body.

Mr. Orbach stated for the record; " I opened my eyes and when i saw it/her and i started to scream but was able to muffle it right away - THEN realizing how entangled we were -and in a complete state of panic and hysteria that i might awaken her/it - and be forced to engage it - I did the manly thing and went right for my arm - not realizing i was gnawing through my leg before it was too late"


He continued; "Fortunately i was able to extricate myself from under her and crawl away for help -and praise be to the lord that she was still zonked out enough that she didn't awaken - or i would have had to kill myself"


Moishe Pipick - president of World Wide Coyote Arm International praised Mr. Orbach for his courage -and said;


"Manny Orbach is a testimonial to the power and pride of ALL Men and we at WWCA are making sure he will receive the latest in prosthetic surgery and rehabilitation -and are awarding him The Coyote Arm (and now Leg) Legion of Honor -which carries a cash prize of one million dollars along with the many sponsor endorsements which are already coming his way"


He concluded; "However - we are not formally endorsing 'Coyote Leg" and recommend that you take a minute to get your bearings - take a deap breath -and go for the ARM!"

Dream Works Releases "Studsy The Queer Bull" -- First Animated Film For Gay Kids

Steven Spielberg head of DreamWorks and his partner,in charge of animation,Jeffrey (Jewboy) Katzenberg,announced yesterday; “We have finally completed -and just in time for XMas - the first gay themed animated film !" 'Studsy The Queer Bull',

“It's about ‘Studsy’ -- a prize Angus Bull who prefers young bull’s and steers over cows. We were thinking of calling the film, ‘The Queer Steer’ -- but technically he’s a bull (obviously not castrated) and hung like a Moose. As a matter of fact ‘Studsy’ would fuck a Moose as long as it’s a male Moose, and he even tried ,several times during filming, to get at me.” Chimed in Katzenberg the ex head of Disney Animation who is a flaming fag.

He continued; “Our research shows that twenty maybe thirty percent of Americans under the age of seven years old have strong homosexual tendencies,and child psychologists are certain that they are torn apart emotionally between openly adopting a gay lifestyle or “closeting” their emotions in an oppressive hetro dominated environment.

‘Studsy’ will instill pride and identity resolution in young closeted gay children and help them ‘break out” -- just as ‘Studsy’ does in a very compelling scene where he is supposed to impregnate a group of prize cows,but ‘breaks out’ ( a metaphor for his closet) of the paddock and charges into the meadow --- where he proceeds to shtupp about twelve young bulls and eight steers in a violent release of pent up frustration .”

Spielberg added, “ Now you have got to picture this twenty six hundred pound Angus bull fucking every asshole in sight - the energy and passion and drama ! -- Think the fifteenth round in Rocky One.

At this point in the test screenings young boys were jumping up and down on the seats screaming, ‘fuck em -- fuck em all Studsy” and they were crying and hugging one another and some even started masturbating.”

They concluded; “We are so thrilled and satisfied that in today’s exploitive creative environment -especially as far as our children are concerned -- that we at Dream Works are able to produce positive and socially redemptive quality programming that will constructively help our children - our most precious resource - to shape and sructure their lives as we walk hand in hand with America’s parents to achieve that goal through creative art.

And - so - coming soon to a theatre near you, ‘Studsy The Queer Bull’. Bring your tiny future fags to see America’s first Queer Superhero.

Watch Your Children Closely

Remember what happened last Christmas?

XMas 2009 -Digibandit Exclusive

Santa Claus Charged With Sodomizing Elves Last Christmas

Santa arrived back in the North Pole after a long night of gift giving to find himself taken into custody by the Polar Police -his Reindeer quarantined and his sled impounded -as hundreds of elves with torches and pitchforks screamed "Santa is a pervert!"

Meyer Lansky the North Pole Chief of Police stated; 'Santa has been taken into custody because of DNA evidence and testimony alleging that he was routinely sodomizing both his.male and female elves - and maybe even his Reindeers?

He said: "And we are asking all parents to watch their children this Christmas day for any evidence of unusual or frightful .behavior"

"For example -If they are afraid to open their presents or cry at the sight of milk and cookies "

"Merry Christmas"

Worldwide "Coyote Arm" Gathering Draws Millions

MEN -FROM AROUND THE WORLD - WHO HAVE CHEWED OFF THEIR ARM SO AS TO NOT RISK WAKING THE "BEAST" THEY FOUND SNUGGLED UP NEXT TO THEM AFTER A DRUNKEN NIGHT OF PARTYING - JOINED TOGETHER IN BASIL SWITZERLAND TODAY -TO CELEBRATE THEIR COLLEGIAL HONOR AND BRAVERY -AND TO WARN "MEN EVERYWHERE" OF THE POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES OF "DRUNKEN PASSION".

Moishe Pipick - Leader of the UCAF (Universal Coyote Arm federation) - chosen for being the first man to chew off BOTH arms when he woke up with TWINS - who in his words. "Defied description" announced:

"Men who have lost an arm in the service of drunken passion - bear witness and testimony to our eternal weakness for "Drunken sex" and the price some of us must pay for the dignity of All men Everywhere!"

Mr. Pipick went on; "And while there has been an attempt by the women marching outside our gathering to establish a "Coyote Arm" organization of their own -we can see by the number of one armed women marching - that they have a limited following"

"And - we have it on good sources - that most of those one armed women were the victims of MEN who got their arms mixed up"

"And in conclusion" - said Pipick -"I am so proud to see the growing numbers of TWO ARM Coyote Men". -"It takes great courage to chew off both arms - And we salute them!"

Fox Anounces "Die Laughing" using The Terminally Ill

"Hey -Laughter is the best medicine and in our upcoming new Reality Program "Die laughing" --terminally ill patients are gonna get mega doses of Comic Radiation -right in their Death Beds - at Deaths Door!"

So sayeth Mike (The Midget) Schlocker - Fox TV president -in Hollywood today.

"Holy cow Mike!" said Bandit Entertainment reporter Elise Mandelbaum "You are going to exploit terminally patients in a Reality Show?"

"Exploit?" -"Hold on to your size D Jewish cups Elise! -We have already brought half a dozen terminally ill patients back from the Grim Reaper's grasp in our test pilot"

"Bullshit Mike!" said Elise.

Schlocker replied; "Let me introduce ya to Moishe Pipick who already had his feeding tube removed over at Cedars Sinai when Ben Morrison a local stand up comic did a special 'Die Laughing ' routine at Moishe's bedside -tell em what happened Moishe?"

Moishe exclaimed; "Well -i vas riding up to Heaven on a bright light ven i hear "So Moishe - did you hear about the old Jew who had brain cancer and his wife tried to put chicken soup in his ears and..."

Moishe went on: "well suddenly i heard a few more Death Jokes and before you know it i was awake -AND after an MRI and a Scat Scan my Neurologist said my brain tumor had totally disappeared!"

Schlocker said; And - we know this "Die Laughing" approach can save folks and it's gonna be one hell of a funny show!"

Elise said; "Well it would be so wonderful if you could actually use tragic comedy to save folks Mike"

Schlocker concluded; "But if it don't get ratings we'll have to pull the plug on it --heh heh heh -heh heh heh - pull the plug -get it? heh heh heh!"

Visa Announces "Shop Only" -Shop Til You Drop" Card

WANT TO GET THAT "SHOPPER'S HIGH" WITHOUT ACTUALLY SPENDING A DIME?

Get that special rush of Dopamine surging into your brain as you mainstream consumer consumption ?

Feel that special rush as the retailer swipes and bags your 'Junk" like a heroin addict in a shooting gallery?

Well - with Visa's "Shop Till You Drop" card you just pay a small fee --ten thousand dollars worth of "buy only" credits cost a paltry fifty bucks

And you high roller's can get up to one -hundred thousand dollars in credits for a paltry three hundred bucks.

So shop away! - You check out the goods just like you were actually buying them -- the clerk says thank you - and you leave without the merchandise, but aglow with that "special shoppers high" that really has nothing to do with needing or even wanting most of "the stuff" anyway.

And for a small extra fee the clerk will provide you with an assortment of boxes with the details of what you "shopped" so you can arrive at home and go over all your "shopped only purchases" with your family and friends - getting yet another " consumption fix" - for free - when you open them.

And -- you can give these "Shopped Only"gifts for any and all occasions - "Oh look what the Pipick's "Shopped" us for our housewarming." As your friend unwraps and reads the gift description - "A beautiful Tiffany bowl".

And the whole nature of consumerism will change - and life as we know it - and the social and political and economic and cultural impact will be staggering!

Remember - it's "The thought that counts" - so get your Visa "Shop Till You Drop" card -- get high - and change the world! --For peanuts!

Injun Chief With Pilgrim in Heaven --Thanksgiving 2010

Chief Whitefish -"Look Pilgrim what has happened since you fucked us back then - My people have Casinos and loads of bling and their children go to Harvard and drive BMW trucks and our wives have Gucci luggage - And your people have no jobs and are losing their houses and your druggy children have to leave college and live at home and your wives are desperate for sex and bling and security.

Pilgrim John Smith -You are still a bunch of fucking savages!

Happy Thanksgiving (what goes around)

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...: "'It's wild all right!' announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today: 'This will blow your socks off -(along with every oth..."

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...

The Digibandit: Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wi...: "'It's wild all right!' announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today: 'This will blow your socks off -(along with every oth..."

Fox Announces "Celebrity Airport Screening Gone Wild"

"It's wild all right!" announced Fox Tv President Mikey Schlocker in Hollywood today:

"This will blow your socks off -(along with every other article of clothing heh heh heh) Because we have purchased the XlT1000 Super Security Scanner which El Al Air uses to scan the Habibs who are constantly trying to blow up Israeli passengers - and it's the best!"

He went on: "I mean you can see a spot on a nipple like it's a bowling ball AND SO - We at Fox Reality Television are using this fun technology to create a Celebrity Game Show"

"How's it work Mikey?" asked digibandit Hollywood Reporter Elise Mandelbaum.

"Good question Elise" -"Let's say we show pictures of say six hotties -lncluding you -in bikinis - And then we run you all through the scanner AND Then - The contestants have to pick which pair of bodaceous ta ta's are YOURS"

Elise replied; -"So - you see MY breasts in a bikini along with five other women and then the audience sees our actual breasts in the Screener and then they have to select which are mine - Only n the show they would be trying to pick the actual Celebrity's Breasts?"

"You nailed it Elise - and we certainly would want to have a strong array of ta ta's like yours in the screener (heh heh) OH -I wanted to call the show " Million Dollar - Whose Tit's Are They Anyway" - BUT my genius kids in the programming department explained that we will be extending the contest to Celebrity Asses and Scrotums which brings in a much wider audience"

"But Mike?" asked Elise "With all the concern about these screeners and privacy issues right now -isn't that a concern for Fox?"

"Absolutely!" replied Schlocker -- "AND when American's see these magnificent tits ans asses and nut sacks of Celebrities up on the TV screen with all those other folks body parts -in a fun Game Show environment - We just KNOW that the whole issue of embarrassment will disappear overnight."

He concluded: "And what's good for national Security -Is good for Fox Television!"

Tough Audience

Satellite TV programs such as those broadcast on Farsi 1 destroy the chastity and honor of our families and encourage the young to take up lovemaking, wine drinking and Satan worship."
MOHAMMAD-TAGHI RAHBAR, a member of Iran's Parliament, on comedies and dramas broadcast from Dubai into Iran by the News Corporation and a prominent Afghan family.

What they need is a game show -maybe "The Stone Is Right" where these stone age morons can compete in killing their local "Satanic Hussies" and win luxurious prizes like dynamite and toilet paper?

Or maybe "Desperate Shiite Houswives of Iran" where wives and mothers compete in begging their husbands for huge favors -like not being abused and demeaned and totally marginalized.

Or maybe even
"Is Your Goat Smarter Than The Local Mullah?"

No wonder these Fundamentalist Muslims are so cranky! -They have nothing to watch but each other's fucking misery.

World Leaders Overheard Dissing Republicans

A leaked recording of a private conference has been obtained by digibandit European Burea Chief Moishe Pipick who could not release the names due to a confidentiality agreement BUT Here are some comments from world leaders regarding the incoming class of 100 new freshman Congressional Republicans:

"This has to be the stupidest group of American legislators in their history"

"Fucking unqualified morons -couldn't get elected dog catcher here"

"Ignorant -incompetent -inexperienced -ideologues and religious wackos"

"God help us - they are a bunch of uneducated gun toting assholes"

"Just wait -they will be fucking everything that walks -stealing and grabbing and making fools of themselves"

"The American people have just fucked themselves ROYALLY -they where better off under King George"

"These schmucks make Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar -a bunch of Bible belting Neanderthals"

"Fox news is gonna have a field day with this group of complete assholes"

SO -we asked Moishe Pipick; "Did you get the feeling that the rest of the world thinks we've gone backwards in our Political efficacy?"

"What!" -"Have you been listening!" -"They think America has opened up it's mental institutions and given the loonies a shot at governing"

Stay tuned -and buy gold and drugs and ammo.

Joh McCaine Created 'PalinStein" AND The Tea Party Jerks

Sarah Palin was just another goofy incompetent vainglorious local hick/celebrity when a desperate and senile Senator Mc Caine raised her from the "Politically Dead" -And transformed her into:

"PalinStein" -a far more dangerous monstor than Frankie ever was!

BECAUSE -when the angry masses got to see an ignorant simplistic populist on the National Political Stage - They discovered their Alaskan Joan of Arc!

A fundamentalist with a big mouth and a small intellect -An ideologue full of populist jingo wingo cleche's- AND - with a "wonderfully" wacko family and a macho wacko -meat eatin God fearin -Wolf killing gun totin nutso Hubby.

So -THEN - The rich and powerful who always know how to spot a thoroughbred to lead their charge in exploiting the weak and the poor WITH the backing of the weak and the poor -AND who never find out they are getting fucked by themselves -led by themselves -until it'a too late:

Cranked up the Tea Party and financed it's wacko candidtes with their big Conservative Republican bucks so they can resume control of Congress from the progressives:

AND - then Go back to fucking the poor and the weak with a vengeance like they did under GW for 8 years.

And hey you morons -They couldn't do it without ya!

In the words of Joe Fogherty; "Gonna be a long hard night before it's done"

Clarence "Long Dong Silver" Three Years Ago

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 07, 2007
Clarence "Long Dong Silver" Thomas Is A Disgrace
Sworn testimony of Professor Anita Hill at Thomas' judicial hearings -- as follows:

"One of the oddest episodes I remember was an occasion in which Thomas was drinking a Coke in his office," she said. "He got up from the table at which we are working, went over to his desk to get the Coke, looked at the can and said, 'Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?' On other occasions he referred to the size of his own penis as being larger than normal, and he also spoke on some occasions of the pleasures he had given to women with oral sex." Another time, she said, he talked about a movie called "Long Dong Silver."

That was just a small portion of the testimony by Anita Hill, a professor of social policy, law and women’s studies at Brandeis University, and a visiting scholar at the Newhouse Center for the Humanities at Wellesley College -- which unfortunately was ignored by the good ole boys in Congress -- and "Long Dong" was confirmed by one vote ( the smallest margin in history) and took his place as the worst Supreme Court Justice in history - and a disgrace to all African American's.

Professor Hill said about "Dong's" new book "My Grandfather's Son" -- "Justice Thomas’s characterization of me is also hobbled by blatant inconsistencies. He claims, for instance, that I was a mediocre employee who had a job in the federal government only because he had “given it” to me. He ignores the reality: I was fully qualified to work in the government, having graduated from Yale Law School (his alma mater, which he calls one of the finest in the country), and passed the District of Columbia Bar exam, one of the toughest in the nation

.In 1981, when Mr. Thomas approached me about working for him, I was an associate in good standing at a Washington law firm. In 1991, the partner in charge of associate development informed Mr. Thomas’s mentor, Senator John Danforth of Missouri, that any assertions to the contrary were untrue. Yet, Mr. Thomas insists that I was “asked to leave” the firm."

Justice Thomas is a sick fuck - and he's got one of the most powerful jobs in America -- for life!

It's time to change the law which gives lifetime job security to Supreme Court Justices - and which eliminates any possibility to rectify a huge mistake - like Justice Clarence "Long Dong Silver" Thomas.

Clarence Thomas -Freako Porno Supremo Court Justice

Read this NY Times report and then join in the "March to Castrate Justice Clarence Thomas"

WASHINGTON — Lillian McEwen is not one of the women whose name is generally associated with Justice Clarence Thomas and his contentious confirmation hearings for a Supreme Court seat.
Related
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But now, at age 65 and retired from a long legal career, with nothing to lose and a book to sell, Ms. McEwen is ready for that to change.

This week’s news that his wife, Virginia, had left voice mail for Anita Hill, asking her to apologize for “what you did with my husband” at the confirmation hearings, gave Ms. McEwen an unexpected opportunity to talk about Justice Thomas, the man she was romantically involved with for “six or seven years” in the 1980s. The phone call, she said in an interview Friday, makes sense to her.

For Ms. Thomas, she said, the accusation of sexual harassment made by Ms. Hill “still has to be a mystery, that he is still angry about this and upset about it after all these years, and I can understand that she would want to know why, and solve a problem if she could — I mean, acting as a loyal wife.”

But Ms. McEwen said she knew a different Clarence Thomas, one whom she recognized in the 1991 testimony of Ms. Hill, who claimed that he had repeatedly made inappropriate sexual comments to her at work, including descriptions of pornographic films.

Ms. McEwen said that pornography for Justice Thomas was “just a part of his personality structure.” She said he kept a stack of pornographic magazines, “frequented a store on Dupont Circle that catered to his needs,” and allowed his interest in pornography to bleed into his professional relationships.

“It starts inside,” she said, tapping her head during a 30-minute interview inside her three-story condominium in Southwest Washington. “And then your behavior flows from what it is that’s important to you. That’s what happened with him, certainly.”

Justice Thomas, through a Supreme Court spokeswoman, Kathy Arberg, declined to comment.

Ms. McEwen, who said she was surprised not to be subpoenaed by either side, did not testify about Justice Thomas at his confirmation hearings. She said she never received a response from a note she wrote to Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., who was running the hearings and with whom she had worked as a lawyer for the Judiciary Committee. She said the note, sent after Justice Thomas was nominated, reminded Mr. Biden that she knew the nominee.

“The hearings themselves were so constrained — the questioning, the subject matter — the scope of the hearings didn’t really allow for any kind of treatment of the issues that had been raised,” she said. “The kind of Clarence I knew at the time that these events occurred is the kind of Clarence that did not emerge from the hearings, I’ll say that. It was not him, and he probably would not have been on the court if the real Clarence had actually been revealed.”

But now Ms. McEwen, who first spoke to The Washington Post for an article published Friday, is ready to talk about the man she says is the “real Clarence,” or at least the one she knew intimately. After retiring in 2007, Ms. McEwen began working on a memoir, which she completed this year. Ms. McEwen also spoke with ABC News.

The book, tentatively called “All About Me,” focuses on her childhood in the District, but she said Justice Thomas appears “in probably about 20 to 25 percent of the pages in the book, because he was a significant part of my life for many years.”

However, what may be the biggest scoop in her book — the private details of her contact with Justice Thomas — may also prove the biggest challenge in getting it published. She said that some agents have not gotten back to her, and others have said “it’s just not the kind of book that they are particularly enthusiastic about, a lot of it having to do with the fact that Clarence is included.”

Though Ms. McEwen still seems to get upset discussing Justice Thomas at times, she said she was the one who ended the relationship.

“He was changing and I didn’t like it,” she said. “He was just becoming obsessed with campaigning for the president and interviewing with reporters and raising his child in a way I didn’t like. It’s a combination of obsessed, ambitious, irritable and bullying that was just too much for me.”

Ms. McEwen has generally kept a low profile all these years, largely out of respect for the wishes of Justice Thomas, who asked her to “take the same position toward him that his first wife had taken” and not speak publicly about their relationship. They see each other “sporadically” — the last time they crossed paths, she said, was at a talk he gave at Howard University after his book, “My Grandfather’s Son,” came out in 2007.

“His book had a sense of anger about that whole process, that led me to believe he still carries a grudge, as if he had been victimized somehow, and as if he hadn’t won,” she said. “It was almost as if he were not on the Supreme Court. Like he was kept from it.”

As for Ms. McEwen’s book, she said the process of writing it was therapeutic. She recently showed it to her daughter.

“It was probably T.M.I.,” she said, using the abbreviation for “too much information.” “But that’s the way it is.”

Sorry Anita

Fox TV Announces"Sex With a Chilean Miner"

"This will be the world's most fantastic Reality Program!" -Said Mike Schlocker,Fox TV President at a press conference in Santiago Chile today standing beside six of the 'Untrapped' miners - who will be the prizes in the new Reality Series.

He announced: "Women will compete to be chosen by these brave (and very horny -heh heh) Chilean heroes."

He went on; "The six finalists will get to have sex with all three of the miners over the course of a weekend in a luxurious Island Resort off the Chilean Coast --AND -get this!"

He proclaimed with great fanfaire -"The Miners will then vote on who was the "mas bueno lascivio mucho pusseo" -which means "hottest piece of melted pussy" in Chilean mountain dialect"

He concluded; "The winner will receive one million Chilean pesos (fifteen thousand US dollars)and a Llama -and gets to keep the baby if she becomes pregnant"

What do the Miners get?" asked Elise Mandelbaum from The Hollywood Reporter.

Schlocker replied with a lascivious twinkle in his eyes "Mas bueno lascivio mucho pusseo"

Fox TV does it again!

How About A Competency Test For Candidates?

Everyone is rightfully concerned about how we measure learning progress among our Nation's students and the commensurrate accountability to which we hold learning institutions and teachers.

So -How about a competency test for prospective politiciuans?

I mean a moronic Senator or Congressman can do a lot more damage to our government and National Security than some kid who is failing Math and English.

I'm not talking about advanced intellectual measurement here - I AM suggesting that someone who seeks high political office should be able to demonstrate a significant ability to absorb complicated input -and to intelligently evaluate that information - AND to communicate (orally and in writing) an intelligent response to the inherent issues as presented.

AND a basic general intelligence and psychological exam of the type widely used by Corporations would be administered -- and ALL the results of this testing would be made available to the electorate.

I spoke with Dr. Moishe Pipick who has been analyzing the statements from political candidates running for office in the midterm elections and he stated:

"We at the Institute For Competency Analysis -located here in Berne, Switzerland -have just completed a preliminary analysis of both Republicans and Democrats and it is clear that on the Republican side we are looking at folks who are basically inferior in all modes of intellect and knowledge absorption -problem solving and analytical skills -AND seriously deficient in general learning accumulation - AND are sub inferior in logic and decision making skills"

"So in plain Englisg Doctor Pipick?" said Elise Mandelbaum the Digibandit Washington Bureau Chief.

"He replied " They are a bunch of fucking morons! -They should all be tested and the results made public."

The Dr. concluded; "Oh Elise -and based on our findings we seriously recommend including some key lie detecting questions for ALL Tea Party candidates."

"Like What?" - Doctor Pipick concluded:

"Have you ever masturbated while talking with God?"

"I Can't Aim With Your Penis In My Butt"

When Marine Staff Seargent Lon McCracken returns to the barracks after surviving another deadly day on tour in Afghanistan:

He puts down his gear and staggers into the shower - exhausted and edgy and sore as hell from chasing Talibani fighters up big mountains all day in the heat.

And as he turns on the water he hears from the next shower stall:

"Oh Manny - oh Manny - ooh - ahhh - i love it! -OOH i love it - but please Ernie -for gods sake - use some more soap - your pecker is practically in my colon -- ooh -- ooh"

At this point seargent Mc Cracken has grabbed his bayonet and in about three seconds Manny and Ernie are going to get some radical surgery.

I mean - the two gay's are just doing what comes naturally -and personally i don't care if a guy gets a hummer (not the vehicle) while shooting his machine gun at the enemy (as long as it doesn't affect his aim):

But - a lot of those southern crackers who make up about ninety five percent of the military are going to be a bit annoyed at seeing their comrades getting corn holed and sucked off all over the battlefield and baracks.

Oh - and god forbid if the gay's start corn holing the enemy -oye vey!

This is a very thorny issue - because if the ignorant rednecks stop enlisting - we won't have enough infantry left to invade Newfoundland.

It's kinda hard (oops) to cornhole your buddy under the current "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy.

So maybe we should just leave things alone until there is complete peace on earth?

OR we go with an ALL Gay Military whicccch i would personally prefer just for the laughs.

Fox TV Announces "Candid Catholic Confessions"

Mike Harnell -Fox Reality President announced "Candid Catholic Confessions" With Father Konfessor -today and stated:

"Fox has got a lot of balls, in addition to being cutting edge creative! Our new reality show will feature a Catholic priest -- Father Konfessor -- who will take confessions and give penances for the pleasure of the television viewing audience."

"What a breakthrough!" -- "Hidden cameras in the confessional booth will have audiences around the world peeing in their pants (panties) -- and the penances that Father Konfessor delivers will be more hysterical than the actual confessions;" said Harnell.

Elise Mandelbaum the digibandit Hollywood reporter asked him; "What kind of penances will Father Konfessor dispense - give us an example."

"Okey dokey" He said "In the pilot we see Hillary Duff very ashamedly confess that she loves to tease young men and that she wears short skirts without any underwear -- and here's the penance!

" Father Konfessor says -- "Oh well Hillary youv'e been naughty - so i require five Hail Mary's -- And -- ten cartwheels!"

"Wow!" -said our reporter "Aren't you being a wee bit blasphemous? -AND won't religious Catholics be upset about violating the priviliged and sacred bond between a Priest and his flock?"

"Fuck the flock!" said Gruesome -"It will be bigger than Idol!"

"AND"He concluded; "The FLOCK is more worried about the Priests fucking their kids"

Your Wife IS a MORON Todd

Todd Palin wrote that his wife had put herself "on the line for Joe and yet he can't answer a simple question."
"Joe, please explain how this endorsement stuff works, is it to be completely one sided," he wrote. "Sarah spent all morning working on a Face book post for Joe, she won't use it, not now."

Hey Tod -Joe Miller knows what most NORMAL folks know:

If it takes ALL morning to write a Facebook email endorsing Joe Miller -How long will it take her to get the gist on a Presdent's morning National Security Meeting?

I mean she might consider a time management course along with the brain transplant required for her to become President.

Just be thankful that Miller didn't say what he really meant:

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Hey Tod -get back on your doggy sled and get the little woman and the kids and go kill some fucking wolves.

Morons Running Amuck

Hey -it's ok - we average folks have many desireable and positive attributes BUT Solving the thorniest problems of practical existence ain't one of them.

AND -THAT'S why we try to elect folks who have the brains and depth of character and inate intelligence and education and experience and track records of accomplishment -To do THAT FOR us.

That's why an electorate without the ability to just fucking realize (maybe when they hear Hillary or Obama or Gates or Geithner -or any member of Obama's Cabinet speak to the critical issues of the day)) that Sarah Palin and that ilk are incompetent lightweights who live in the realm of demagoguery and intellectual vagaries - WIll be the death of this great country. ( Fish die and stink from the head down)

Used to be us average morons knew our place - avoiding that far away universe where intellect and competency reign-and usually did not venture out their because it was downright scary (but also respected and hallowed intellectual ground) - A very smart value system that usually prevented psycho crackpots like Palin and Christine O'Donell from becoming legitimate candidates)

BUT BUT BUT - Now the morons are watching fifty hours of crap on TV every week and they think they are as sharp as those quick witted asshole characters - created by clever writers - that they admire and emulate.

It's one great big world of shrewd and light hearted and light brained one liners -AND simplistic social networkesque answers to everything.

AND - when coupled with the brain numbing novacaine of good ole American Christian Moral and Intellectual certitude - Bronze Age mentality begins to become the disorder of the day.

As it turns the common folk towards a dangerous state of delusional denial that is:

Into a thinking and thoughtful and knowledgeable group of people - Who are still only morons!

Think NUTHOUSE

Forgetting How Relatively Stupid You Are

Hey -it's ok - we average folks have many desireable and necessary attributes BUT Solving the thorniest problems of practical existence ain't one of them.

AND -THAT'S why we try to elect folks who have the brains and depth of character and inate intelligence and education and experience and track records of accomplishment -To do THAT FOR us.

That's why an electorate without the ability to just fucking realize (maybe when they hear Hillary or Obama or Gates or Geithner -or any member of Obama's Cabinet speak to the critical issues of the day)) that Sarah Palin and that ilk are incompetent lightweights who live in the realm of demagoguery and intellectual vagaries - WIll be the death of this great country. ( Fish die and stink from the head down)

Used to be us average morons knew our place - avoiding that far away universe where intellect and competency reign-and usually did not venture out their because it was downright scary (but also respected and hallowed intellectual ground) - A very smart value system that usually prevented psycho crackpots like Palin and Christine O'Donell from becoming legitimate candidates)

BUT BUT BUT - Now the morons are watching fifty hours of crap on TV every week and they think they are as sharp as those quick witted asshole characters - created by clever writers - that they admire and emulate.

It's one great big world of shrewd and light hearted and light brained one liners -AND simplistic social networkesque answers to everything.

AND - when coupled with the brain numbing novacaine of good ole American Christian Moral and Intellectual certitude - Bronze Age mentality begins to become the disorder of the day.

As it turns the common folk towards a dangerous state of delusional denial that is:

Into a thinking and thoughtful and knowledgeable group of people - Who are still only morons!

Think NUTHOUSE

Vulgarity An Underutilized Diplomacy Weapon

Now if i were to say that Iran cannot be allowed Nuclear Weapons for the same reasons that you would not give a psychopathic escapee from The California Prison for the Criminally Insane -five gallons of a toxic biological agent -AND a map to the Los Angeles Aqueduct:

I would be accused of a misguided and inappropriate metaphor (even though everyone knows that is why those Maniacal - Death Worshiping Mullahs can never become Nuclear Weapon enriched)


BUT -If Secretary Clinton were to stand up in the United Nations General Assembly and state with conviction:

"Let's cut the crap! -I would rather have Ahmadinejad suck on my beaver -or bang Chelsea -Than for him to ever get control of a nuclear weapon -AND that goes for their whole fucking lunatic Islamofascist Regime"

And then if Obama reinforced that with:

"I'm with Hillary one-hundred percent and can honestly say that i would rather have The Ayatollah Komeini impregnate Michelle -Than for those Fascist Stone Age Mullahs get within range of a Nuclear Missile -UNLESS it was incoming from Tel Aviv!"

OH! Oh! and let's not forget the irrepressible VP Joe Biden who might add: "I can honestly add to those crystal clear comments that i would rather be gang raped in Delaware State Penitentiary -and have my wife be sodomized by A fucking savage Iranian Revolutionary Guard Member -than allow Iran to obtain Nuclear Weapons"

Let me Tell ya -- The debate would end right there and we would be the heroes of the whole fucking world that is worth giving a flying fuck about for calling it straight for ONCE!

Ah -there i go cursing again.

"My Opponent Sucks!" THAT'S My Ad AND I Approved The Message

AS long as snarling advertising messages - designed to burn some ignorant Populist message onto the cerebral cortex of the ill informed and basically lame brain voters:

Continue to function as the primary source for these schmucks in deciding who will get their vote - and lead the country:

Why should the candidates waste time and money?

Just saturate the airwaves with ubiquitous crispy one liners like:

"John Cornyn Is a Red Neck corrupt Moron"

"Harry Reid Sucks Mormon Boners"

"Nancy Pelosi Takes It Up The Gazoo"

"Obama Is A Shiite Imam"

"Mitch McConnel Sucks off Rush Limbaugh"

" Jerkoff Sarah Palin Got A Combined 600 On Her SAT's"

"Sharon Engle Is A Brush Eater"

"Faggot Barney Frank Don't Own A Gun"

"Diane Feinstein Owns A Burka"

"Congreesman Pipick's Tribe Killed Jesus"

"Barbara Boxer Uses A Giant Vibrator"

I mean - most political campaigns have already dumbed down to the ignorant levels of most voters:

So why not just cut out all the pretense of providing useful info to the ignorant voting masses -AND make the ads what they really are:

Fucking horseshit for idiots!

In America It's Ok To Burn Bibles AND The Flag And Your Bra

We should build a fifty foot stack of Old and New Testaments AND include lots of those Goofy Mormon texts too - Throw in copies of The Dao The Bahgada-Gita -Ancient Buddhist texts --The Talmud and even a ton of Great Western literature AND top it off with a few hundred American Flags AND Throw in some Bra's just for fun:

Pour gasoline on generously -AND light it up at night in front of The White House and dance around it in a great big celebration of American FREEDOM and ENLIGHTENMENT:

A demonstration to the world's wackos (and our homegrown Fundamentalists) THAT;

These are just THINGS - The principles they embody become meaningful only through behavior.

No beheadings No stoning --No calls for indiscriminate armed slaughter -- No psychopathic rhetoric or the maniacal drumbeats of Priests and Prophets (except the Beck -Palin Limbaugh - Baynor crowd in America of course)

Because -They are ONLY fucking THINGS AND WE know the difference between an act of non violent symbolism - AND (In Gainsville,Fla.) an act performed by a handful of morons who don't represent American intent (Led by a loony Pastor) --AND

If such an act becomes an excuse to rally ignorant socio-pathic Muslims to slaughter and maim and wage war????

THEN -as reprehensible and misguided as that Florida Pastor's inclinations are -- He does make a point!

We cannot be held hostage to Muslim Fundamentalism!

Just imagine if you had a violent and retarded teenager who threatened to chop you up or stone you to death if you listened to music? - If you didn't wear a body cloak? -If you Criticized a Book? - If you were gay ? --If you had an extramarital affair? -If you watched a sexy movie? -If you wore makeup? If you masturbated? The list is endless!

Would you say; "Oh sorry Johnny - that seems a tad unreasonable but ok I really don't want to piss you off"

Hey - if he's bigger and stronger than you - you might want to wait till you're out of the house and seek protection if you can --BUT:

When you are the strongest nation in the history of Civilization -and being existentially threatened by a gang of Bronze age thugs and their scko Religious leaders?

You throw them out a fucking window!

In America It's Ok To Burn Bibles AND The Flag

We should build a fifty foot stack of Old and New Testaments AND include lots of those Moronic Mormon texts too - Throw in copies of The Dao The Bahgadfa-Gita and even a ton of Great Western literature AND top it off with a few hundred American Flags AND:

Pour gasoline on generously -AND light it up at night in front of The White House and dance around it in a great big celebration of American FREEDOM and ENLIGHTENMENT:

A demonstration to the world's wackos (and our homegrown Fundamentalists) THAT;

These are just BOOKS - The principles they embody become meaningful only through behavior.

No beheadings no stoning --No calls for indiscriminate armed slaughter -- No psychopathic rhetoric or the maniacal drumbeats of Priests and Prophets (except the Beck -Palin Limbaugh - Baynor crowd in America of course)

Because -They are ONLY fucking books AND WE know the difference between an act of non violent symbolism and say - an act performed by a handful of morons who don't represent American intent --AND

An act which becomes an excuse to slaughter and maim and wage war by millions of psycho Muslims.

Which is why -as reprehensible and misguided as that Florida Pastor's inclinations are -- He does make a point!

3 Blind Mice - Faith Hope and Charity

St. Paul’s three abiding guides in the Bible: faith, hope and charity. Mr. Beck told viewers that he walked dazed from the studio, gripped by a new theme. -- His crisis was ending. “I see the landing strip,” he declared. He would apply organizing techniques from the civil rights movement. On the 47th anniversary of Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, he would bestow citizenship medals for faith, hope and charity.

So if the Republican's/ TheTea Party/ Religioso et. al. - with their Anti intellectual -Anti progressive, master plan -- Based on FAITH and HOPE and CHARITY appeals to you -then i have a better plan for ya.

Bend over and stick your head up your ass where it rightfully belongs -Buried in a dark and smelly hole - Where the light of intelligently designed plans -formulated by disciplined and experienced problem solvers - cannot - and will NEVER shine!

And may god bless you -AND keep you -right there -On Glen Beck's landing strip - From whence you will NEVER take off.

Nagging Israeli Wives Will Kill Palestinian Peace Talks

"Abe -you good for nothing poor excuse for a Jewish husband!" - "You moved me and the kids out here in the middle of the desert -surrounded by angry goyim - in this poor excuse for a home - and you promised things would get better"



" Becky! But Becky! - Abe cried" -- "The land is cheap -we'll make a killing! -The goyim are morons! - For what do they need land? - It'll be ok. - You can have a nice garden and i'll build a swingset for the kinder"



"I told you then Abe -i can't live with you and four kids in a tiny place with one small bedroom and one bathroom -and no diniing area -and no laundry room" - "But - i listened to your pleading like a real schmuck."



" You promised - Becky Becky my darling - soon we'll expand - we'll make a killing! - I'll grow some nice lemons in the yard - and some cabbage for you to stuff - and the air is so clean"



"And Beckela -right over there where that bush is - that is where king David took a nice crap before he killed that giant goyim Goliath!"



"Beckela -my angel -this is the ancient homeland of the Jewish Prophets"



"Well now Abe! - I put up with this place for five years - with the goyim screaming and yelling -and the rotton plumbing - and the sandstorms and the rockets - and:



" Now i'm telling you - You build an addition on this house and put in a swimming poool - Or - me and the kids are going back to my parents in Tel Aviv -and i'm getting my cousin - the lawyer - Moishe Pipick to drain you dry with alimony and child support"



'You can stay out here with the goyim and the prophets - and you can shtupp the sheep!"



So -now you know why the settlement issue will NOT be solved any time soon - AND - why the Palestinians -whose wives only speak when spoken to - cannot grasp the depth of this problem.

Fox TV Announces "Dress The Dwarfs"

Mike (a Dwarf himself)Harnell -ex Prexy of Fox Reality TV -and who is trying to redeem his career with a slew of hit shows ("Dancing With Disabilities" and "Studsy The Queer Bull" for Gay children, among others) -announced from his office in the Venice Beach Bar and Grill today:

"So we have all these hit fashion shows and fashion for Fatso women and all -BUT absolutely nothin focusing on Dressing Dwarfs?"

He continued: "Look at my suit -you think it was easy to make a suit like this? -I have two Dwarf tailors and they can -and will - design the asses off any of those fag designers on those other shows! _Just you wait and see!"

Digibandit Hollywood reporter Elise Mandelbaum asked : "Do you really think folks want to see DWARF fashion Mike? -And speaking of asses -how about showin us the new version of your "Hot Booty Dance"

"Ha ha Elise you hot Jewish Princess - if you want to see my "Hot Booty Dance" join the 15 million folks who have watched me on You Tube smack in the act of getting fired from Fox"

"AND - of course folks want to see my Dwarf Fashion show -Because they will get to see Dwarf Tits!"

He concluded: "And no fucking Midgets allowed!"

From Beck's Mouth To God's Ears

“There’s nothing we can do that will solve the problems that we have and keep the peace unless we solve it through God,” he told “Fox News Sunday.”

He also expressed regret for having asserted last year that Mr. Obama was a racist with a “deep-seated hatred for white people,” a comment that many critics felt undercut Mr. Beck’s assertion of racial tolerance.

“It was poorly said — I have a big fat mouth sometimes,” Mr. Beck said.

Glen Beck has NO concrete ideas -A complete abscence of intellect and wisdom - He is a mean spirited ideologue -A Mormon rabble rouser in the mold of Joseph Smith the Charlatan founder of The Mormons AND:



Along with the ignorant rabble of Bible belters and fellow ideologues like Sarah Palin they have demonstrated to all sensible American's -AND the World - The stark difference between the voices of compassion and reason and thoughtfullness -and the fear and anger and lack of wisdom that inhabit a significant portion of humanity.

Dreary expletives and an idiotic ideology fraught with populist generalities that inhibits rationale problem solving real progress and social justice is their Mantra..

Always been that way with that crowd -Always will

Do Muslim Suicide Bombers Go To Paradise?

Look --The Muslims in NYC have EVERY moral and legal right established since before the Magna Carta to build their fucking Mosque at Ground Zero.

Build away! -Most Americans who are fired up over this are complete assholes -BUT -they are rightfully sick to their stomachs at seeing Muslims blow each other and American Soldiers to pieces because some ignorant and repressed Muslim religious leader says it's ok - And that they will be rewarded by Allah and sent directly to Paradise"

"Hi I'm Allah -meet Mohamma -Welcome and nice job -take a swim -get your dick sucked by a Virgin - let me show you around"

OK -Let's cut the crap -NOW is the time! -Let's heae a great crying out from World Muslim Religious leaders and all those Muslims who REALLY are our friends - That killing innocent civilians -for whatever motivation -is a Koranic No No -and you will be barred from Paradise forever for any such actions


OTHERWISE - pack your bags and get out of Dodge while the getting is good!

Unreasonable and unfair and undemocratic as many American's are behaving -and unfortunately motivated by morons like Palin and Lazio and Limbaugh et al -- They have a right to be confused and pissed off by the barbarism they see taking place in the Muslim world --SO --C'mon -show us the truth and magnitude of morality inherent in YOUR Bible -So that we are sure about it!

Be reasonable -it's not asking a lot to ask you Muslims to prevent your holy book from being used as a tool to endanger Civilization.

Hey -when the rednecks were enslaving and lynching black foklks in America they were spouting Scripture -BUT we had a war over that and 600 thousand Americans were killed in the process of beginning to set things right.

You folks gotta start the ball rolling about stopping the justification for suicide bombing coming out of The Koran!

THATS the Focus for all the nice Muslims we keep hearing about --AND NOW!

Jesus Spotted at "Center of the World" Festival

Lurine Swarthout - An avid congregant of The "Shepherd of the Mountains Lutheran Church" was attending the annual "Center of the World"Festival in nearbye Pine Mountain Village "when a bright light burst from the heavens and there was Jesus staring down and crying"

At least a dozen other spectators claim to have seen the same vision -and many more said they heard celestial bells and one man said he felt a tingling in his groin.

Sunday is the final day of the Festival and word is spreading quickly that Jesus is in attendance.

The owners of the Pine Mountain Club grocery store -local bar and gas station have all claimed to have clearly seen the Saviour walking around the festival grounds -and the Gas Station proprietor is adament about having spotted the Virgin Mary's face on one of his gas pumps.

WELL - SOMETHING is up - up there in Pine Mountain Club Village -- and we'll have more on this tomorrow.

In the meantime if you're planning on checking out the action you better allow at least twelve hours to drive from Los Angeles up to Pine Mountain Club as Pilgrimages are already being organized.

One other thing -Jesus being spotted crying in a location directly adjacent to The San Andreus fault Line -May not be the best of Omens?

Or maybe it was the drumming?

"Blackberry Brain Disease" Afflicting Millions

The Universal Cultural Research Institute in Berne, Switzerland announced the results of a five year study of over ten thousand seemingly successful and normal - high usage Blackberry owners.

"The results were startling and extremely alarming" -- said Dr. Moishe Pipick -Head of neuroscientific data analysis for the institute.

He stated; "I won't bore you with the elaborate stem cortex graph analysis data -or the comprehensive back-up documentation regarding behavioral pathology and emotional deconstruction - along with the acute alteration of logic and emotional circuitry in the cerebral cortex -caused by this device in the hands of high user Alpha males."


Dr. Pipick continued; "But i will say that what we call "Assumptive Logic Pathology" -Which is a mental disorder common to 87% of those in our study - where they are making judgements based on a minimal percentage of the data they are receiving (that info contained in the first paragraph of the Blackberry communiques) -

"BUT - their brains -which have evolved a logical paradigm for more detailed and semi-comprehensive information analysis over millions of years -is being frustrated and -how shall i say it in non technical terms? --In German, Freud called it --Ungershtupped mitten horst manureschweigen infoschlacken"

He concluded; "In other words -stuffed and confused - or overloaded with horsehit information!"

"Can you give us an example of "Assumptive Logical Pathology " Dr. Pipick?" - Asked digibandit Science Reporter -Elise Mandelbaum.

"YES! -here's a typical one - A Television program developer received an urgent email from his aged Mother's heart specialist in which the first words on the Blackberry were "Have idea which you will find important and crucial"

Dr. Pipick went on; "The busy emotionally overloaded program executive quickly sent back a message after getting what he thought was the info gist of the communique "Sorry Doc -too busy to deal with elevator concepts (quicky creative concepts) from you"

"WELL -What the program executive failed to read was the part of the message which said; " Your Mom in coma! -Severe heart attack ! -Need immediate approvalfor radical new stent implantation!"

Dr Pipick concluded; "AND this will Kill ya Elise! -The Dr's next email back to the TV Development big shot said -- in the first three words of a message explaining the DEATH of our programmer's mother: "Mom is gone..... "

"AND the guy sends the Dr. back a quicky Blackberry shot -"Hey Doc! -There are three shows on the air right now about Mothers yaddadada -please give me a break here -- OH! -And how's my mother doing?"

GW Was Right About "Uteroil" C'mon Obama!

Two years ago GW had the answer to the Fossil Fuel/Climate Change crisis - as i reported to the fury of the Moronic Religious Rednecks:

SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 2008
Major Breakthrough In Fossil Fuel Replacement -- Uteroil

The International Energy Association announced today that working with a team of physicists from Cal Tech and MIT -- they have discovered how to produce a highly carbon friendly and super powerful replacement for fossil fuels.

"Our dependence on foreign oil will be eliminated - the answer to the "greenhouse problem" has been discovered, and the absolute dominance of the world wide energy market by the United States is now imminent" - said Moishe Pipick, lead scientist on "Project Uteroil."

He explained,"For ten years now we have been experimenting with discarded fetus' and placental afterbirth matter from over thirty million abortions in the USA."

"We now have conclusive scientific evidence that if the abortion rate continues - the stem cellular energy from this powerful fetal matter will be sufficient to replace our entire fossil fuel based energy grid -and will provide enough "Uteroil" to maintain a pump price of under two dollars a gallon for the foreseeable future,"said Dr. Pipick.

He went on; "And this totally clean source of powerful energy is abundant all over the globe - we can import aborted fetus' from around the world, and applying our technology, we can dominate and control the world-wide energy market!"

President Bush said today; "The Arabs and Russia and Africans better figure out some new way to pay for screwing their people and paying for weapons -heh heh"

When asked about the moral implications of using aborted fetus' for energy, he replied " Heck - abortions are legal -and if we really care about the rights of the unborn - we oughta give em a green earth to grow up in."

"But, said the President - i don't wanta see folks creatin a new market by creatin and sellin dead babies for "Uteroil" - Uh Uh! - But them Muslims could probably make a little extra cash and cut way down on their production of future suicide bombers by sending us lots of aborted Mulims to turn into clean energy."

As KingFaisal of Saudi Arabia said twenty years ago : "Don't be greedy my Arab brothers - the stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones."

Too late!

My Answer To The Unemployment Crisis

We’re not heading toward the danger zone. We’re there. The U.S. will not remain a stable society if this great employment crisis is not addressed head-on — and soon. You cannot allow joblessness on this scale to fester. It’s wrong, and the blowback will be as destructive and intolerable as it is inevitable -Bob Herbert NY Times


SO -it's simple and necessary -EVERY profitable US corporation AND all Americans with savings and assets totalling above one million dollars :

HAS to hire a required number of the unemployed -Based on an equitable formula --a percentage of their assets -to be determined by Congress..

The Corporations are rolling in dough and loving this new -high productivity -squeeze the shit out of the employees paradigm!

And the rich can afford to hire some folks! --It won't even put a dent in their lifestyles --hire some tutors and maybe even some spiritual mentors --Lordy knows the kids AND the parents need emotional assistance in this fucked up society.

Or you can sit idly by and hire security guards later.

The revolucion may be coming?

Fox TV Announces - "Save A Tree -Eat A Beaver"

Mike Schlocknell Fox Reality Tv President related a story his Maternal Russian Grandfather -Moishe Pipick used to tell them as kids:

"Now children this is a fable called "Save A Tree -Eat A Beaver" BUT
It's what adults call a metaphor - meaning an example of something else -and in this case the Beaver is an example of a kind of woman we call in Russian "Gevaltnish Pussy -or '"Killer Woman" -or "Killer Pussy -and it's about eating them before they destroy the trees - a metaphor for eating (or destroying) YOU - OR it's ok to just EAt them but don't get involved which is too advanced for you at five years old -but anyway -- "The Beaver was lying in the pond on her back and along comes...."

Schlocknell continued: "So - Hewlitt Packard's CEO is just the latest victim of the "Beaver Trap" Another high rolling power brokering -super successful Alpha Male -reduced to cowering in front of John Q Pulic - out there looking for blood and schadenfreude and a good ole Beaver Trapped - Gotcha! - tale of demise."

"AND - we're gonna give the folks out there in TV land a lot of red meat and blood and guts to soothe their insatiable appetite for stories about Celebrities and Politicians -and Business Moguls torn apart by the endless hordes of Hot Beavers out there ready to tear the balls off any Powerful Buck who shows a sign of weakness."


"Mark V Hurd getting torn apart by Jodie Fisher is just the latest example of a long list of "Prime Bulls" to be denutted by a savage Beaver -And At Fox TV -THEY won't just be eaten and forgotten"


"Save a tree -EAT a Beaver!" Summer of 2011

Fox TV Announces - "Save A Tree -Eat A Beaver"

Mike Schlocknell Fox Reality Tv President related a story his Maternal Russian Grandfather -Moishe Pipick used to tell them as kids:

"Now children this is a fable called "Save A Tree -Eat A Beaver" BUT
It's what adults call a metaphor - meaning an example of something else -and in this case the Beaver is an example of a kind of woman we call in Russian "Gevaltnish Pussy -or '"Killer Woman" -or "Killer Pussy -and it's about eating them before they destroy the trees - a metaphor for eating (or destroying) YOU - OR it's ok to just EAt them but don't get involved which is too advanced for you at five years old -but anyway -- "The Beaver was lying in the pond on her back and along comes...."

Schlocknell continued: "So - Hewlitt Packard's CEO is just the latest victim of the "Beaver Trap" Another high rolling power brokering -super successful Alpha Male -reduced to cowering in front of John Q Pulic - out there looking for blood and schadenfreude and a good ole Beaver Trapped - Gotcha! - tale of demise."

"AND - we're gonna give the folks out there in TV land a lot of red meat and blood and guts to soothe their insatiable appetite for stories about Celebrities and Politicians -and Business Moguls torn apart by the endless hordes of Hot Beavers out there ready to tear the balls off any Powerful Buck who shows a sign of weakness."


"Mark V Hurd getting torn apart by Jodie Fisher is just the latest example of a long list of "Prime Bulls" to be denutted by a savage Beaver -And At Fox TV -THEY won't just be eaten and forgotten"


"Save a tree -EAT a Beaver!" Summer of 2011

Dog Hating Muslims Should Be Deported

First of all any group that believes that dogs are ritually unclean -especially one known for it's lack of sanitation and personal hygiene -AND who live in a country with 83 million dog owners/lovers is asking for trouble.

AND -all the Muslims and their spiritual leaders have a responsibility to speak out against Islamo Fascism -and it would be nice to see at least ONE "March Against Muslim Fundamentalist Butchers" take place somewhere -anywhere -anytime now in America.

Hey you Muslims are dealing with folks who almost wiped out the Jews for a crime they believe some Jew commited 2000 years ago -and refused to let Catholics vote in the original thirteen colonies (except Maryland which was mostly Catholic). AND detained innocent Japanese citizens during WW2 in concentration camps just because they were short.

What the fuck do you think these maniacs are prepared to do to a bunch of folks who don't say boo when their brethren are trying to annihilate us Infidels 24/7.

And you Muslims don't eat BBQ pork and hate dogs and TV and video games and kinky sex - on top of all that other Koranic Violence shit.

Lotsa luck - and take a bath!


The woeful lack of protestation by American Muslims has rightfully led to the morons of The Religious right and the American rednecks to martial their hatred against them-here are some of the latest examples -published in The NY Times:


"In Murfreesboro, Tenn., Republican candidates have denounced plans for a large Muslim center proposed near a subdivision, and hundreds of protesters have turned out for a march and a county meeting.

In late June, in Temecula, Calif., members of a local Tea Party group took dogs and picket signs to Friday prayers at a mosque that is seeking to build a new worship center on a vacant lot nearby.

In Sheboygan, Wis., a few Christian ministers led a noisy fight against a Muslim group that sought permission to open a mosque in a former health food store bought by a Muslim doctor.

At one time, neighbors who did not want mosques in their backyards said their concerns were over traffic, parking and noise — the same reasons they might object to a church or a synagogue. But now the gloves are off.

In all of the recent conflicts, opponents have said their problem is Islam itself. They quote passages from the Koran and argue that even the most Americanized Muslim secretly wants to replace the Constitution with Islamic Shariah law."

Who Cares Whose In The Graves?

All this hullabaloo about mismarked graves at Arlington National Cemetery seems ridiculous to me.

I mean if i suddenly found out I've been praying over some rotting organic stuff that used to be the body of Moishe Feingold instead of Elise Mandelbaum -my mother -who gives a shit?

It's symbolic right? I mean it's not like Mom is down the lane screaming "No! No!! -I'm over here"

And even if she was conscious down there - i think SHE would think it's funny -and if she is stuck down there rotting away she could sure use a good laugh.

And speaking of laughs -imagine the Lee's are all praying away and paying condolences over private Eustus Clayton - a black man who fell at Gettysburg -instead of their great grandfather and esteemed Southern General -who is actually feeding worms one hundred yards away down the road?

Now that's laughs and irony all around.

They should just tear down all the gravestones -erect one big monument and plant Medical Marijuana - and raise money for deficit reduction.

AllThat fertilizer would guarantee a bountiful harvest.

Jesus and Paul Announce Malibu Wedding

At last the Homo icons of Christianity are at Peace -As a California Judge opened the door of marriage to allof God's children;

And -ALSO - ironically - to Jesus and St Paul -both well known homo's in their time on Earth -who have always said they would like to be wed together in Southern California.

So while the moron Mormons -along with all the other Neanderthals on the religious right -and the whole Rush(Oxycotin) Limbaugh and Fox News crowd cries about the end of the world at the hands of the progressives:

Jesus and Paul will be in a Honeymoon suite in Malibu -fucking each other in marital Ecstasy.

The big question is -who is Mohammad the greatest Moslem homo gonna hook up with?

Maybe Krishna?

9/11 Site Should House Moslem Cultural Shrine

This museum would provide ongoing insight into the great cultural divide between Arab Fundamentalists and us Infidels by celebrating Moslem achievements over the past millenium -including but not limited to:

Keeping the stone age alive and well - complete with the stoning of women to death for crimes that get women alimony in the West.

The enslavement and or subjegation of their entire female population.

The virtual eleimination of democracy as a political institution.

The universal abhorrence and rejection of all things artful and entertaining.

The almost complete absence of a manufacturing OR high tech based economy -resulting in:

The almost complete absence of a middle class -and a fascist corrupt - oil based Oligarchy

A rabid proclivity to use violence to kill one another over irrational religious disputes - AND all non Moslems on the whim of fanatick religious leaders and:

Developing the revolutionary Moslem innovation of Suicide Bombers.

The highest rate of illiteracy in the world (outside of Muslim Africa) which enhances their complete misunderstanding of their sacred Texts -which they memorize.

The resultant response after a tour of this Moslem Cultural Shrine will resonate powerfully - with young and old and people of all ages -and even Aliens from OUTER space - as they stand in the holy light of Ground Zero -and exclaim:

"Who the fuck are these maniacal morons?"

Oh and bye the way -how long do you think a Mosque will stand at ground zero before it gets blown to bits by some redneck who will get The medal Of Freedom from President Palin and become the recruiting poster child for Osama Bin Douche bag?

"Children Are Starving In America --Eat Your Spinach!"

Remeber when your Mom used to say that --only substituting China for America?

NOW now -Chinese Mom's are saying "Eat your spinach -children are starving in America"

And American Mom's now say "Eat your spinach kids are starving in America"

I guess the next step will be American's emigrating to places like China AND Brazil AND India for employment opportunities.

What irony! -American's will ultimately become illegal aliens in countries we used to consider third world.

AND -the American underclass will keep growing like it did in Mexico -AND eventually will become drug dealing maniacs competing for the drug demand in the NEW prosperous nations.

And president Tod Palin will be blaming the drug wars on the huge demand for them by India and China and Brazil.

But the guns will still be supplied in America -our last thriving industry.

Thought about Singapore? --Israel?

If You're A Miserable Fuck?

Don't have children -AND DON'T get a dog!

So i'm out in the park with Liza (the wonderdog) yesterday and there's an attractive thirty ish woman about fifty yards away pulling and yelling at her dog like a moron.

Liza sees this and says to me "Hey poppy that's fucked up - I'm gonna go see if i can help"

So as Liza gets about thirty feet from the moron bitch (the dog OWNER that is) -She starts screaming "Get your dog away from me!"

In the meantime her son comes a running "Mommy! Mommy! can i pet the nice doggy?" (Liza)

Of course the miserable fuck starts yelling at the kid; "No! No! -You get away from that dog! -and look you're all muddy!"

Liza says to me; "Hey Pops -Can i take a bite out of that miserable fuck's ass?"

"Nope" says I -"Lets just keep movin along -people are like dogs -some are just turned into miserable fucks"

So now we come across a father teaching his kid how to ride a bike and he's runnin along beside him and the bike is all wobbling and teetering along -- and the kid is just laughing away -and the father is laughing -and Liza runs over to help out -and now the kid is playing with her -and the father is joining right in -and he says what a nice dog she is "Su pero es muy linda y contento "

"Yep she's a fine old girl allright" i reply -and he asks me something in Spanish that seems to say "Can my son give your dog a cookie?"

"Si Si gracias" says i and the kid gives Liza a cookie and Liza asks if she can play with the kid -and they gambol over to the duck pond together.

Well -i finally say "hasta luego" to Luis and little Luis and his momma - who is grilling hot dogs and hamburgers (liza and i each had a hot dog with jalapeno peppers and we split a Dos Equis) while singing joyfully

So as i get to my car i see a Range Rover pulling out and the driver is guess who? -You got it! --The miserable fucking moron! -And i hear the kid crying and the dog barking -and her yelling:

"Next time your father can take you to the park -if he can spare time from his golf"

AND -that's kinda a metaphor for life -ain't it?

And about immigration

Remember When Jane Fonda said Cunt on TV?

Daddy! Daddy! What's a Cunt?
Asks my five year old daughter after hearing Jane Fonda's comment on the Today Show.

I respond, "Well dear it's the female version of prick."

She intelligently responded; "Oh - you mean like the way Mommy acts when you come home drunk"

Yes dear - "And how she acts when she doesn't get her own way ."

But daddy, "Wouldn't the correct English for Momma's behavior be cunty - because it's an adverb - i think Jane used it as a noun?"

"Wow - sending you to The latin School has really paid dividends and you are soo right"

I went on; "Ms. Fonda was using cunt as a noun and was referring to the female sex organ in that regard -she really should have said vagina."

"But daddy - why didn't she just say Pussy?"

Kid's today!

Polish STILL a Polish Joke -Amsterdam RULES

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/18/world/europe/18poland.html

The European Gay Pride Parade was met in Poland by trhe usual Polish redneck peasant thugs that have characterized the Polaks for a thousand years.

The same asshole thugs who cheered on the trains heading for Auschwitz.

Poland would make a perfect red state in the USA -maybe John Baynor should lead a conservative Republican delegation over there to combine resources in the fight against human progress

Big problem is when the Polaks find out Johnny Boy Baynor is a latent homo hisself -whose Little Kelbasi wiener has been known to keep Mitch McConnell on his toes.

Oh and Nancy and Harry should trip on over to Amsterdam and see what progressive REALLY means.(90% of Holland is bisexual or headed there)The European Gay Parade in Amsterdam was ten times bigger than the one in West Hollywood.

Think about it will ya?

Go Netherlands!

Does Bill Gates Have a Penis?

I was just wondering about that because you never hear about him foolin around and he is worth 20 billion plus dollars -and his wife Melissa is cute -but hey:

I mean here's a healthy powerful guy - and he's smart and funny and the world's richest man.

I mean "Melissa darling - i'm off to Paris to talk about the Foundation and i'll be back in five days"

So meanwhile his trusted assistant Moishe Pipick who Gates pays 3 million a week so he's sure of his loyalty -rounds up the hottest babes in Europe and they are waiting for him (masked of course) at his Plaza Athenee apartment -and well you get my drift.

I mean even if Melissa has been trained by Oral Sex Gurus and Yoga Pleasure Masters in Tibet -and they have discovered some super sex drug -- Just think of the action that Gates could acquire around the Globe?

Either he's getting more pussy than the legendary Attila The Hun to whom we all have some genetic link because he screwed almost every hottie on Earth back then --OR:

Bill Gates has no Penis -OR -It's gonna be some kinda memoir.

But with his dough he could probably have a kentucky Thoroughbred's dick sewed onto him - OR - even have Lebron James dick cloned and implanted.

If any of you know if Gates has a penis could you drop me a line?

It's driving me nuts!

Why Do They VOLUNTEER For Combat Duty?

Personally speaking -i would rather get married again than volunteer to fight say in Afghanistan or Bahgdad

How stupid do you have to be to be willing to get your nuts torn off -or worse -to save some stone age Muslims who hate us and could give a shit less about Democracy.

Like we don't have enough National Security issues facing us in our back yards.

Hey -i am thrilled that some men and women are willing to go get killed and will kill some of our enemies in the process -go ahead knock yourselves out.

Fact is most of them are just collecting a pay check doing exciting and respected work -and don't believe for a minute that they will ever get nicked.

AND -the vast majority will not get hurt and can come home and collect PTSS goodies (oh and did you not think that volunteering to go kill folks in a Muslim snakepit would be stressful?)

Being poor and married to some dysfunctional mate -with messed up kids (standard fare in the good ole USA today) - is more stressful than seeing a guy's head get blown off -and these poor Americans get nothing.

Oh and General Petraus and the Joint Chiefs have less chance of getting killed than the president of BP -and way more perks -so yeah we need them - BUT they aren't doing it for humanity (it's a great fucking job)

Maybe if we stop glorifying all this war service horseshit we can move forward about who really pays the biggest price for living in this downsliding -drug and alcohol depleted -academic failing - shopping mall -earth destroying -ignorant society -fueled by hypocritic -ignorant -power needy politicians and religious leaders and assorted other control freaks and banboozlers..

Pipick calls New Yorkers Pussies

A record-breaking heat wave tightened its grip on New York City on Tuesday, as triple-digit temperatures tested Consolidated Edison’s power supply, threatened the health of the elderly, and tried the patience and resilience of anyone who dared to venture outside.


With the temperature reaching 103 degrees in Central Park at 3:11 p.m., breaking the former record high of 101 degrees for the day set in 1999, Con Edison officials braced for the greatest demand for power they had ever had.

Dr.Moishe Pipick -head engineer for the city's electrical infrastructure called New Yorkers a bunch of pampered pussies today at a City Hall press conference:

"Today it is a mild 115 degrees in Bahgdad with 100% humidity -and virtyually zero air conditioning and minimal water for drinking and none for bathing"

He continued; "They have crappy plumbing and hardly any toilet paper -the woman have to wear heavy dark Burkas -and the men just sit around sweating and drinking tons of hot coffee"

He went on "At any moment anywhere some lunatic might blow up the whole neighborhood -and our Marines are walking around among this happy go lucky populace with 70 pounds of gear on them -sweating their balls off"

Dr. Pipick concluded: "So you spoiled fucking pampered New Yorkers should just go sit in the park and count your blessings"

Better World If British Won The American Revolution

Watching the bourgoise elitists and redneck morons and just plain stupid and greedy folks who comprise the Tea Party gang - it started me thinkin about the original Tea Party and the American Revolution -and i realized with great dismay that it would be a much better World if the British had won:

The common folk in the present UK are like Rocket Scientists compared to the commoners in the USA! They watch the BBC and are mostly non religious or Church of England which is like being a Buddhist compared to an American Christian.

-AND the Brits don't feel the need to own vaults filled with guns or to kill beautiful animals for a thrill. (even the British cops don't carry guns.


And - the Clergy are are MARRIED! - Reverends and Pastors don't sodomize children (they sodomize their wives like normal people do)
In The UK they have a House of Lords that knows the Common folk are assholes -and they are not ashamed to say so.

They also have a House of Commons where the people's representatives act like common assholes and are expected to by the asshole people -Who then get EXACTLY what they need and desrve,

They also have a Queen! - How fucking cool is that -AND as a result all the Gays are happy.

Oh -and without a whole lot of loony religious conservatives - you don't have debates about whether Darwin was an Atheist Jew lover and Creationism should be taught in schools -or whether a Zygote is a human being - and how God said in the bible that gays were Vermin (and all that other lovey dovey Scripture stuff)

AND AND AND -if The British HAD won the war with us - They would have been strong enough to maintain the British Empire:

Hence - NO First or Second World War (Germany wouldn't have said boo with a powerful British Empire standing in their way -AND no USSR and no cold war. (i estimate the savings in loss of life alone - at around two hundred million.)

AND best of all would have been (second only to the non emergence of those American Tea Bag morons):

When you called a customer service department for help with ANY product or service -Instead of getting "Hellooo Dees is Dakta in Mombay Ken i help Voooo?"

You would hear "Ello Mate -Gotta bit ov a problem have yeh? - well you just hold on Gov - an we will fix er right up!"

So -fuck George Washington and ALL The Founding fathers -

They screwed us Royally!

Fuck The Fourth!

God Wants Blood Sacrifices You Redneck Morons

Read this and pray that if there is a God he will wipe out the Deep South once and for all -and we can begin to settle homo sapiens there -and start over fresh.


After the singing of the opening hymn, “Ring the Bells of Heaven,” and the announcement that an engaged couple was now registered at Wal-Mart, the preacher read aloud a proclamation from Gov. Bob Riley that declared this to be a “day of prayer” — a day of entreaties to address the ominous threat to the way of life just outside the church’s white doors.

Whereas, and whereas, and whereas, the proclamation read. People of Alabama, please pray for your fellow citizens, for other states hurt by this disaster, for all those who are responding. And pray “that a solution that stops the oil leak is completed soon.”

In other words, dear God, thank you for your blessings and guidance. And one other thing, dear God:

Help.

The governor’s words hung a moment in the fan-turned air. Then the preacher, Shawn Major, summoned the men of the church to the front to “ask God to do something special.”

Two dozen men, many of them wearing short-sleeve shirts in summery colors, knelt and sat with heads bowed and eyes closed, while a half-mile down the street, other men — and women — underwent training in the use of a more secular form of hope, the laying of boom.

The wall between church and state came a-tumbling down on Sunday, as elected leaders from the five states on the Gulf of Mexico issued proclamations declaring it to be a day of prayer. Although days of prayer are not uncommon here — Governor Riley declared one asking for rain to relieve a drought a few years ago — these proclamations conveyed the sense that at this late date, salvation from the spill all but requires divine intervention.

Fox Announces --'Deadliest Snatch" Will Join Fall Reality Line-UP

It looks like Fox has outfoxed the competition with a show which has a huge built-in buzz generator with it's name association to one of TVs hottest reality shows .

Mike (darling) Darnell head of Fox TV said today; "Well every network is looking for their version of "Deadliest Catch" in the danger/action reality genre --so we looked for something that might be extremely dangerous but not locked to physical action"

"I mean -- there is no action like "Snatch Action" --but let's be real --it's what the Snatch does to your brain that makes it so dangerous!"

"I mean --if you fall off a boat fishing for giant crabs chances are you will get real cold --but from what i can see there's less danger of actual injury on those boats than befalls a NYC garbage man -- statistically speaking that is"

Mike continued vehemently; " But a "Deadly Snatch" can fuck up your whole life in an instant dude! -- i mean ,if you get hooked up with a major "Deadly Snatch" you will pray to God that you fall off a boat in one-hundred foot waves and drown!"

'I mean; " Most guys would rather fall asleep in the giant crab storage locker and be eaten alive -- than get eaten up inside by a really "Deadly Snatch!"

"I mean - I know guys who have been attacked by snatch so deadly that they ripped off their own nuts and dicks with a pliers."

He continued; "Trust me i know --there is snatch that is so deadly out here in Los Angeles that you will pray that a giant crab rips your nuts off and you bleed to death slowly -- alone on the beach in Venice -- rather than get consumed by it!"

"And -- we are going to show the most "Deadliest Snatch" we can find on this show and all the vicious action and trauma that goes with it -- and it's not gonna be pretty - just pretty damn deadly"

Stay tuned -- and hide the kids and old folks! --and if we can save just one viewer from a "Deadly Snatch" attack -- i can die in peace"

But when Mike --when already?

BP Stations Selling Polluted Gulf Oil

Herman Gottlieb had just filled up at the local BP station in Aliquippa ,Ohio when his car started to sputter and stalled.

He said:"I got out and noticed there were feathers coming out of my exhaust pipe -AND -when i stuck my fingers up there i found three dead shrimp"

He comtinued: "And then it dawned on me -Those Mother Fucking British assholes are refining that gulf oil and are now selling us gas from the Gulf oil spill!"

Tony Heyward CEO of BP said: "I will look into that as soon as i finish my colon cleansing regimen this evening -BUT - in any case we have to get a handle on the situation"

He concluded: "Even if the recycled oil can be refined into gas -I doubt if the dead Marine life components will be combustion friendly"

BP Stations Selling Polluted Gulf Oil

Herman Gottlieb had just filled up at the local BP station in Aliquippa ,Ohio when his car started to sputter and stalled.

He said:"I got out and noticed there were feathers coming out of my exhaust pipe -AND -when i stuck my fingers up there i found three dead shrimp"

He comtinued: "And then it dawned on me -Those Mother Fucking British assholes are refining that gulf oil and are now selling us gas from the Gulf oil spill!"

Tony Heyward CEO of BP said: "I will look into that as soon as i finish my colon cleansing regimen this evening -BUT - in any case we have to get a handle on the situation"

He concluded: "Even if the recycled oil can be refined into gas -I doubt if the dead Marine life components will be combustion friendly"

Fox Tv Announces “Ten Drunken Dwarfs Farting”

“I can’t take credit for this hot new addition to our summer reality line-up” said Fox TV pres. Mike Schlocknell.

“This sure fire hit is the brain child of our very own Rupert Murdoch” he said at a press conference in LA today “You know – “Rup has always maintained that if you did a whole show with nothing but Dwarfs sittin around drinking and getting loaded –and farting” “You’ll have a hit TV show Schlocknell!”

“So – we did some focus groups and sure enough Rup was absolutely right – folks were peeing in their pants –and we should have trusted Rup’s instincts from the get go –because if anyone has a feel for this shit –it’s Rup!”

“Isn’t the preferred term these days Little People - won’t they and the audience be offended by the word “Dwarfs?” asked digibandit Hollywood bureau chief –Elise Mandelbaum.

“Nope!” said Schlocknell - “ Rupe was very clear about that and he told me; “Mike – we don’t want ANY Little Folks! - Make sure you use ONLY dwarfs!”

“Are they gonna have a focus to their drunken fart laden commentary?” asked Mandelbaum.

“Oh yeah!” answered Schlocknell – the theme for the first thirteen shows is “ Obama Is Acting Like A? ” – like “President Obama is Acting Like a Baby” - Or he’s acting like a Spoiled Black Kid - Or He’s Acting Like a Muslim” -You get the idea Elise dontcha? -All that crybaby flap he voiced about Fox news!”

“Yeah –that Ruppert Murdoch sure is a creative character –he’s even more creative than you are Mike!”

“Well Elise” – he replied -“The Jews don’t have ALL the creativity around here” (off microphone -“But you sure have got great tits!”)

First Father's Day Began With A Blow Stick

Historians have recorded that there was a tradition to celebrate Father's Day even thousands of years ago. Their study say that 4,000 years ago in Babylon a son called Elmesu carved a father's day message on a clay card. In his message Elmesu wished his father a long and healthy life. There is no knowledge as to what happened to this father son duo but it is believed that several countries retained the custom of celebrating Father's Day.

Well - if you believe that i have a nice cabin in Kyrgestan i can sell you cheap.

About 60 thousand years ago after eons of men shtupping anything that moved and then moving on -like:

"So what you have a little one -what's that got to do with MY shtupping -and anyway -how does shtupping result in that little one? Go prove it (ancestor to first Jewish lawyer?)"

See -the cause and effect of shtupping resulting in a child -let alone YOUR child - was not figured out yet.

Well one day this cave woman Mildred tries something original and sneaks into the cave where Oorgy her main shtupper was sleeping and she gives him a present that the Tribal Witch and Healer - Esther Pipick - told her about:

A blow stick! - Which no one had dared tried before except Odin who blew stick the wrong guy and wound up with his skull bashed in -anyway -back to Mildred and Oorgy and Esther Pipick the Witch.

See -Esther had first discovered the blow stick when one night she was blowing on a stick with meat on it to cool it off -and being a witch she came up with the concept for the First blow JOB when Oorgy - sitting across from her at the fire ring - reacted to her blowing on the stick by having HIS weiner stick protrude out of his loincloth by ten inches ( see-HE didn't know why but Esther put stick and dick together right away.

WELL -when Oorgy comes too after his blow stick experience -he says "Holy shit Mildred -what the fuck was that? -I want more!"

And Mildred says "Well you gave me a baby from your shtupping and THAT was your Father's Day gift"

And Oorgy replied "Oh yeah! -that's MY son allright -he's a beauty -strong and so smart -and well hung just like me -and i can't wait until NEXT Father's day"

Unfortunately with the taming of men and the rise of Christianity and sin and it's residual sexual repression - Material gifts were gradually substituted for the blow jobs by many women hence precipitating the rise in divorce and subsequent breakdown of the traditional family unit.

So you see how that first blow stick evolved into the Father's Day we celebrate today -AND - to this very day there are women who give one or less blow jobs a year -Just like Mildred.

So today let's have a moment of silence for all those fathers who will get a tie instead of a blow job.

AND give a big hip hip hooray to all those gals to whom a blow job is just another day -like a walk in the park.

But most of all a big hat's off to Esther Pipick The Witch and her first pupil --Mildred -and to Oorgy -First father and blow stick recipient.

Japs would Eat Their Mothers if They Had Fins

YOKOHAMA, Japan — “The Cove,” an Oscar-winning documentary about dolphin hunting in Japan, would seem to be a natural fit for movie theaters here, but so far the distributor has yet to find a single one that will screen the film.

Related

Times Topics: Japan

The New York Times

Many of the scenes in “The Cove” were filmed in Taiji.

And if Shuhei Nishimura and his compatriots on Japan’s nationalist fringe have their way, none ever will.

In a country that shudders at disharmony and remains wary of the far right’s violent history, the activists’ noisy rallies, online slanders, intimidating phone calls and veiled threats of violence are frightening theaters into canceling showings of “The Cove,” which not only depicts dolphin hunting in an unflattering light but also warns of high levels of mercury in fish, a disturbing disclosure in this seafood-loving nation.

DR. Moishe Pipick head of the World Marine Life Institute in Berne ,Switzerland said today:

"The Japs think that eating sea food will make them taller and give them Caucasian sized weiners -So -they are slowly but surely destroying many species of Ocean fish and mammals -including endangered whales and tuna and swordfish"

Dr.Pipick then answered an obvious question -" "Huh!Oh yes -the women? - They think sea food will enlarge their breasts so they can attract those big Caucasian weiners"

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