xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Japanese Demand Toyota Board Kill Themselves

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Japanese Demand Toyota Board Kill Themselves

Japan's leadership with the full backing of the general population has demanded that Toyota's entire board of directors commit Hari kari in the ancient Samurai tradition of maintaining complete honor in the face of defeat or disgrace -by cutting their bowels open -and then being mercifully beheaded with a Samurai sword by a trusted assistant.

'The Toyota leadership has fucked up the reputation of a great National symbol and provider of wealth and sustinence to the Nation and they have completely fucked up the handling of the whole mess!" said Inguchi Tushymoto Japan's Prime Minister.

"Only cleansing by the ultimate and heroic Samurai tradition can restore faith in Toyota among our Foreign markets - and among the Japanese people"

A poll released early today from the Pew National Research Institute showed that 83% of Americans would respond favorably towards Toyota if the board of directors killed themselves.

But Moishe Pipick president of thje National Auto safety Conference announced today; "Early this morning Mrs. Rachel Ginsberg of Soux falls , North Dakota was driving along with her five children and the steering wheel of her brand new Toyota Land Cruiser came off in her hands -she was saved by a herd of Bison grazing alongside the highway who cushioned the crash impact"

Pipick continued; "There is growing evidence that Toyota vehicles are literally "falling apart" slowly but surely -and those Japs can start commiting suicide wholesale -but it ain;t gonna work"

Arnold Goldblum an expert in automotive engineering and corporate espionage said today; "Hey -wake the fuck up everybody -This is the Chinks sabatoging the Japs as they prepare to launch their new automotive lines - and dominate the industry -and hurt the Japs who they hate!"

He concluded; "And the Chinks hate the Gooks more than the Japs so if i were driving a Kia right now? -I wouldn't!"

Wow! -thank God we owe them our shirts! ( Speaking of which soon there will be American laundries "Johnny go take the laundry down to the Jews"