xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Jan 28, 2013

Monday, January 28, 2013

Iran Breeds" Mullah Monkeys" for Space Flight Test

  Albert II, a Rhesus Monkey, became the first monkey in space on June 14, 1949, in a U.S.-launched V2,. Numerous monkeys of several species were flown by the U.S. in the 1950s and 1960s. Monkeys were implanted with sensors to measure vital signs, and many were under anesthesia during launch. Way back in 1983 the Russians sent a Monkey into Space

 And Now Finally - Press TV quoted the director of the Iran Space Agency, Hamid Fazeli, as saying earlier this month that “because of biological differences between Normal Humans and Muslims we needed Muslim Monkeys for the space mission. - not African Monkeys and it took a very long time to breed them -we had to interbreed African Monkeys with Mullahs.” 

WOWEE no shit Hamid -you are a weebit late!

He also forecast that Iran would send a mullah into space within the “next five to eight years,”

Paul Ryan Is Marty Feldman's Twin Brother

What Hump?
Oh -and if you tried to follow his bullshit ravings on Sunday's Meet the Press you know how lucky we all are to have escaped from a 'Humped" White House with Mitty and Marty and all those rich right wing Evangelist redneck gun toting morons (and Mormons)

Study say's 50% of ALL men Are Queer 0r Bisexual

Dr. Moishe Pipick head of The World Wide Institute for Social Sciences -headquartered in Berne, Switzerland - announced today:

"Men are rushing out of their closets in a homo rampage now that the stigma of being a fag has ended! Not only does this study prove that 50% of ALL men worldwide are queer or bi-sexual IT ALSO indicated that an even greater percentage fit into one of the LGBT categories of sexual preferences."

Dr. Pipick went on; "AND our research further shows that queer men are happier and better adjusted and more successful without having women ball breakers around!"

The Dr. concluded;"it's ironic that feminism which led to post feminist ball breaking has allowed men to attain their true natural state of gender contentment and fulfillment."

NRA says "Rocket Launchers Needed For Home Protection"

NRA President David ( ambush dave) Keene has fired up (oops) his membership with the goal of getting congressional approval for private Rocket launcher ownership  -he said:

"We Gun Owners are empowered by the constitution to  form  armed militias BUT back during the Revolution you  only had to protect yourself from muzzle loading muskets and some cannon - BUT NOW - if some gang banger comes at us with an Uzi in an armor plated SUV -or The Government rolls in - or the Illegals or Jews throws armored vehicles against us:

 Wayne and Elmo La Pierre -NRA Executives
"We need heavy firepower to protect our loved ones -AND I'm not asking for private air or naval neighborhood defenses (yet ha ha) BUT-We sure as shit need some Rocket Launchers! AND some mobile field artillery."

He concluded: "So let your pinko gun hating representatives know that they will face a tsunami of NRAPAC moola comin at em if they fuck with us on this one - and next year we are going forward with our plan to put a 50 caliber machine gun in every Church Tower and School in America with all white congregations and students."

"Stay alert!"