xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Who Was The First Mother?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Who Was The First Mother?

It's Mom's day and my weird mind is thinking about the first man and woman who blundered into a sexual union -- culminating nine months later in the "Earth's First Mother." (and subsequent first Mother's Day)

Now if your a member of the Adam and Eve crowd or you still believe in the tooth fairy please stop reading -- you are delusional and have better things to do -- like seeing a Doctor.

But for those of us who like to ponder weird shit it might be fun to consider how that first sexual union occurred?

A big burly apish hominid has woken up in great discomfort because his penis is throbbing against a stone on the bare earth with some leaves and moss on it -- the forerunner of the sealy posturepedic mattress. "Oye vey!" he groans, and awakens the guy next to him -- who he doesn't realize is actually a female. She looks exactly like him but with a different chest and a different genitalia arrangement -- but since no one understood anything back then there was no reason for alarm -- only wonderment. (lucky them)

The unbeknownst female called Tzitsckas (the strange chested one)) say's; "Vooz machsta (what's up) Oorgy?" To which Oorgy replied; "Mine shticklach es grovnen!(my stick is growing).
To which the soon to be first impregnated female replies; " Ach mine tuchas ess grovnen shticklaken" (oh shit - it's growing into a big stick!)

And standing up and saying words in the ancient cave Yiddish that have echoed down through the eons -- i said them myself only last week (and i translate) "Stand back Tzitsckas --i don't know how big this will get."
And -- at an engorged thirteen inches it slowed,and finally stopped at sixteen inches. (a phsical trait which only exists today in black athletes).

Well here's where Genetics and DNA took over, as Tzitsckas cried out! And i'm using the original cave Yiddish here to emphasize and honor the Ancient request that men have been hearing, from women. for over three hundred thousand years in thousands of languages: -- but this was the first time! -- "Oh Oorgy , ich nam so hornen ples shtick ein huge lognin ent mine holen!" (Oh Oorgy, i'm so horny -please stick your huge stick (becomes 'dick') -- in my hole)

And when Oorg climaxed he let out a thunderous cry across the Tundra -- "Whoopee" (the ancient origin of the word pussy which evolved into 'putshme' to 'pushme woopee' to 'pussy woopee' to 'pussy wipped' and 'pussy')

Well,nine months later Oorg and Tzitsckas had a twenty two pond baby boy they named Irving (the first Jew) --and one year later celebrated the Earth's -- first Mother's Day.

And for those of you who are wondering where Oorg and Tzitsckas came from and why this whole chain of events didn't register earlier wih their births and their parents etc. -- well how the the fuck would i know ! Maybe they were too high or too dumb? But one things for sure -- Oorg and Tzitsckas were the first ones to do it -- and to remember what they did.

Happy Mother's Day!

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:47 PM

    He swallowed, eyes still closed, as she wrapped her hand around his slippery, wet shaft. Hed tried to get his men to turn back, then, when they wouldnt, to fight. It may mean nothing to you, but I must say that Im proud of you. Tykir and Brevin stepped aside, and Lanthan sank onto the couch with her. She wanted to lash out at Nialdlye, but that was wrong. He pulled her into a hug. Needing reassurance, Eyrhaen glanced up at her former master. She, too, was watching, her cheek resting on the top of his head. She clung to him, wordless in the flood of emotion that took her. It might not be enough, but it was a good enough start. One bright white brow arched high, and he cocked his head, considering. I cant apologize any more tonight. Thoughts rolled over one another in her head. He stroked gentle fingertips along her jaw. Her pussy wept, neglected, but she wouldnt have stopped him for anything. Yet more fingers stroked her clit while it dragged Brevins length. I have all the time in the world for you. Considering the alternatives, I think what we endured recently is preferable. His chuckle burst a bubble of dread in her chest. I want this time to just be us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:32 AM

    His lips parted ever so slightly, and she heard a soft sigh of breath expel. His throat worked to swallow, and a fine sheen of sweat shimmered on his skin. A little while ago. But the vetriese… Irin paused. Someone was there to help her.
    [url=http://cumonshot.1sthost.org/index11.html]free facial cum shots[/url]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5:25 PM

    free sex hentai clips

    ReplyDelete